|
Author
|
Topic: I'm not ugly so why can't I attract someone?
|
Mysticr
Knowflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 10:37 AM
 
I’m an attractive woman - sociable, flirty, good body and I dress well, but during my teens and twenties, I only managed to have three short term relationships.I actually feel embarrassed writing this, but unlike most women I know, I never get men flocking around me or even asking me out. I don’t know what it is that I’m doing that makes them uninterested in me. I do fancy guys but they never seem to fancy me back. It has knocked my confidence. Over the past couple of years I’ve had hardly any transits that have involved venus. And this is telling because in the past four years, I’ve only been asked out twice by silly teenage boys who chatted me up at the bus stop. I’m an attractive woman - sociable, flirty, good body and I dress well, but during my teens and twenties, I only managed to have three short term relationships.
I actually feel embarrassed writing this, but unlike most women I know, I never get men flocking around me or even asking me out. I don’t know what it is that I’m doing that makes them uninterested in me.
I do fancy guys but they never seem to fancy me back. It has knocked my confidence. Over the past couple of years I’ve had hardly any transits that have involved venus. And this is telling because during the past four years, I’ve only been asked out twice by silly teenage boys who chatted me up at the bus stop. It would be good to know what natal aspect may be responsible for my failure in love and any tips you have on how I can improve things for myself would be great. My DOB is 22 October 1978, 12:30am, London, England
Planetary positions
---------------------
Sun Libra 28°12'42 in house 4 direct
Moon Cancer 5°51'54 in house 11 direct
Mercury Scorpio 12°03'45 in house 4 direct
Venus Scorpio 22°30'58 in house 4 retrograde
Mars Scorpio 22°06'52 in house 4 direct
Jupiter Leo 7°09'15 in house 12 direct
Saturn Virgo 10°29'04 in house 2 direct
Uranus Scorpio 15°34'43 in house 4 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 16°20'20 in house 5 direct
Pluto Libra 17°03'36 in house 3 direct
True Node Virgo 26°16'11 in house 3 retrograde
House positions
---------------
Ascendant Leo 12°34'23
2nd House Virgo 0°07'01
3rd House Virgo 22°58'44
Imum Coeli Libra 24°10'27
5th House Sagittarius 3°58'00
6th House Capricorn 12°36'27
Descendant Aquarius 12°34'23
8th House Pisces 0°07'01
9th House Pisces 22°58'44
Medium Coeli Aries 24°10'27
11th House Gemini 3°58'00
12th House Cancer 12°36'27 Major aspects
---------------
Sun Trine Moon 7°39
Moon Trine Mercury 6°12
Moon Sextile Saturn 4°37
Mercury Square Jupiter 4°54
Mercury Sextile Saturn 1°35
Mercury Conjunction Uranus 3°31
Mercury Square Ascendant 0°31
Venus Conjunction Mars 0°24
Jupiter Conjunction Ascendant 5°25
Saturn Sextile Uranus 5°06
Saturn Square Neptune 5°51
Uranus Square Ascendant 3°00
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°43
Neptune Trine Ascendant 3°46
Pluto Sextile Ascendant 4°29 Thanks
Miss Mystic IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 11:17 AM
maybe it's a cultural thing, you should move to asia. !! sorry i just posted a thread in a similar topic but about more a regional problem... hihi.um, sorry i didn't mean to make fun of it. but maybe you can post an image of your chart and it'll be easier to see it. i'm no expert at reading (still learning struggling), but i'm curious to understand it too because it may help my situation too! IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 742
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 12:27 PM
I think that with all that Scorpio as well as overall strong water, some guys might think that you are too intense,deep,emotional,sensitive and that could scare a lot of men off...especially if they are the more superficial and non-committal types. I think most men are that way too. Your Venus is also retrograde and in Scorpio intercepted in your 4th house,and that could indicate possible problems with love,relationships. Your Scorpio planets are intercepted in 4th house,and that couldindicate some intimacy issues connected to past,domestic environment. Planets in intercepted signs/houses tend to indicate significant problems with expressing the energy. You have a tight Venus conj Mars in Scorpio,and many astrologers would say that indicates a high degree of sex appeal, but definitely intensely amorous. Some might think that you are too pushy in relationships.another thing...You have Uranus square Ascendant which also means that Uranus square Descendant too, and that indicate that you can be an unpredictable person as well as your relationships can be unpredictable too...especially with your Descendant in Aquarius. This can attract noncommittal types as well as very unstable types. the unconventional types could attract you. Your Uranus conjuncting your Venus-Mars also indicates that...especially unpredictable,unstable attractions/love/relationships,passion with men. Mars conjunct Uranus can indicate that men in your life can be unstable,unpredictable,and can be unreliable. the unconventional types could appeal to you.
looking at major transits
using 2 degree orb for applying trines and squares
Transiting Neptune in your 7th is currently squaring your Venus-Mars in 4th, and this indicates your uncertainty about your lovelife,relationships and why you are asking these questions. It's amazing the synchronicities that Astrology shows. The transit indicates that you need to make sure that you don't fall in love with the wrong men and get into relationships with them because this is a time that you can be a bit too idealistic,dreamy,and romantic which can lead you to seeing men with rose-colored glasses. With your Venus-Mars in Scorpio, you don't want to get intimate too fast with men. If they happen to be jerks,they could deceive you. This would be a good time to just be creative,artistic,and for spiritual endeavors like meditation...especially like relaxing in your home with transiting Neptune in 5th squaring your Venus-Mars in 4th
On December 20th,Transiting Neptune is exactly square your Mars in 4th On December 28th, Transiting Neptune is exactly square your Venus/Mars midpoint On January 4th,Transiting Neptune is exactly square your Venus in Scorpio in 4th
After January 4th, the transiting Neptune squaring your Venus-Mars will be considerably weakened.....the transit won't be significant...due to the separation
Transiting Uranus in Pisces goes direct in your 8th house on the 26th of this Month. In 18'44 Pisces. This would indicate a time where the unexpected,excitement,surprises,unconventional can happen in your intimate,sexual life,other's money. Keep in mind that transiting Neptune will be squaring your Venus-Mars at the time too. You have to be careful with romantic,intimate endeavors.
also....there will be a New Moon(Sun conjunct Moon)conjunct Mercury and Mars in Sagittarius on that day in your 5th house, and that can indicate a strong focus on romance. It's possible a romantic event could happen on that day. New Moons have to do with beginnings. Sun conjunct Moon also has to do relationships as it's the merging of masculine energies and female energies.
Transiting Uranus in 8th will be trining your Mars from January 24, 2009 through March 4,2009....that can be a time of ease of unexpected,excitement,surprises,change,unconventional involving assertiveness,passion,physical energy but also men too...Mars is the animus planet that has to do with males females are attracted too. With Uranus in your 8th,sexlife,intimacy,other's money
Transiting Uranus will be trining your Venus from Feb 2, 2009 through March 11,2009...that can be a time of ease of unexpected,excitement,surprises,change,unconventional involving love,relationships,affections,values,and money. With Uranus in 8th,sexlife,intimacy,and other's money.
as you see....those Uranus transits are going on during Valentine's Day....so definitely can be a great time of sparking up your lovelife,and you could get some pleasantly surprising gifts.
another thing too...the Uranus transits and your Uranus to your Venus-Mars could indicate a love interest who might be different from you in some way whether religion,race,ethnicity,nationality,social background,significant age difference....any of those are possibilities I see that your 9th house ruler Neptune is in Sagittarius in 5th house...so your romances can involve people of other cultures...especially foreigners.
I wish you all the best
Peace
Raymond IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 823
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 01:01 PM
I think it'll come before long. Ward against being too desperate for it to happen, as that may work against you. It's better to respect and love yourself, and then others will be encouraged to follow your lead and love you as well.IP: Logged |
evander
Knowflake Posts: 66
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 01:04 PM
for what it's worth, I blame the Venus on the evil 22nd degree of scorpio. I got that as welland i'm betting you aren't willing to settle for just anything. you need your transformation through a relationship. and it is so hard to find someone who can impress that much IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 788
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 01:23 PM
I think this might be a widespread problem in Western culture right now, rather than an astrological one. I keep talking to women lately who have this problem or similar ones. There seem to be two kinds of male behavior that have become increasingly common--sleazos who stand around harrassing women on the streets, and ordinary everyday men who don't ask women out. I know women who are attractive who have turned to internet dating, which I find horrifying--to me dating isn't something you should do to fill a void or to find "someone", it's something you should do with someone you have an intense crush on/attraction to after you've met them and the sexual tension from all your chemistry has built up. I think we're going through a time of social change. It used to be that boys/men were eager and thrilled to get to touch and kiss a woman, so they would ask women out, and also people would throw parties for the express purpose of getting to know and eventually hook up with attractive people. Now, it feels like everyone is working these plodding jobs and looking for a "life partner" before they've even gotten to have the fun of flirting, hanging out and explortation with people they are mutually attracted to, and (based on my guy friends) men seem to be asking women out less. I was frustrated with my situation, so I decided to swallow a little pride and ask women who were in exactly the situation I wanted to be in for some advice...and then, when I actually set out to do that, I couldn't find any! That's my advice to you, though. Try a new approach. Write a list of women you know who have guys flocking, and ask them for some advice (or observe what they're doing.) I don't like the idea of turning to a natal chart or even transits about this, because the fact is that you should explore a bunch of different approaches and not feel limited by ideas about your character. IP: Logged |
Marila1313
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 03:11 PM
don't be embarresed by writing this. because I'm going through the same thing. I get told my guys...BEHIND MY BACK (as in they'll tell my friend, and then my friends tell me)...that i'm stunning, or i'll get guys yelling out of their cars on the road for my number. But somehow, i can't find that relationship that I want...! IT'S ANNOYING AND I FEEL FOR YOU. We do have something in common though. While you have that scorpio side, i do too! but my venus/mars/moon are all in 8th house, which gives me a very scorpio vibe. AND, my venus is conunct my mars. I'm actaully glad you posted this, it's interesting seeing a resemblance. My coworker once told me something that stuck with me. "MEN WILL ALWAYS DATE WOMEN THAT ARE LIKE THEMSELVES...so if ur a cheater, you'll end up with a cheater, if your deeply loyal, you'll end up witha guy like that" SO!yeah at this age, young guys mostly just look for a quick fix, and not so much the passionate stuff. IP: Logged |
augentier
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 03:41 PM
Mysticr you must be a very intense person. This probably intimidates not only men but lots of people! Believe me I have Pluto in Scorpio conjunct my ASC 1 degree .. and Venus in Scorpio in the 1st house. I'm attractive and sociable and playful but only if I know you...so many people don't know if they should try in the first place! Lots of Scorp energy is too intense for a lot of people..you might be the person who they're not sure about..I have been called stuck up, bitchy, and quick tempered by people who had not even spoken to me..just because I look that way.How comfortable are you with yourself? I found once I didn't care what others thought of my personality I grew so confident in it that it became attractive. If you like yourself others will more than likely like you! Confidence is hot and it DOES show..and so does the lack of it  ------------------
Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon Mercury:: Sagittarius
Venus::Scorpio
Mars::Pisces IP: Logged |
Marila1313
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 04:03 PM
Augentier,I recently met a girl with her pluto conjunct her scorpio ascendant. At first, I thought she HATED me. not cause she was mean to me, but I was the one that thought that. After sitting next to her in class, I got to know her, AND MMAN! she's honestly one of the coolest girls I know now. I don't even know how I got so close with her. I've noticed she's very loyal to her friends, and once you have her as a friend, she has your back. sorry, this is off topic, but just thought i'd say for the **** of it...I LOVE SCOPRIOS NOW!...or scorpio ascendants..w/e IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 04:04 PM
Dont see anything bad in your natal chart which would indicate what you describe. From over a year ago, to one or two years previous to that, was a very good chance for you to meet that someone.
This is based or Uranus transit Uranus.Currently, Sun has passed conjunction with Uranus, which is another decent time to find someone.
I dont know what advice to give. IP: Logged |
Green Fairy
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 04:21 PM
quote:
I’m an attractive woman - sociable, flirty, good body and I dress well, but during my teens and twenties, I only managed to have three short term relationships.
I had none. Zero. And i'm just like you. Perhaps we're just too good.  IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 823
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 04:36 PM
quote:
From over a year ago, to one or two years previous to that, was a very good chance for you to meet that someone.
She did have her Saturn Return going on. IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 04:55 PM
That would mean good times at work, based on her natal.IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 788
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 05:26 PM
I don't agree that lack of self-confidence turns people away. It's a common myth that I read everywhere, but...when I was younger, I had some very deep insecurities about myself, and I was a MAGNET for men/boys. I was shy then (not anymore!), and some people mistook that for arrogance...and, I was kind of arrogant in some ways, as well as insecure...and some of the men/boys who were obsessed with me didn't even like me very much, they were just obsessed with me. There were a lot of people who liked my looks and didn't care what my personality was like either way. (And then again, there were some very cool people who saw past my shyness and issues and liked me a lot, because I am funny and caring.) A lot of great people are drawn to confident, secure partners who like themselves, and a lot of people are drawn to vulnerable, insecure people who hate themselves. It's a very flawed world filled with lots of troubled, messed up and cowardly people. And, lots of wonderful people. The idea that some way you come across, your confidence level or something you are/aren't doing is putting people off might not be true. It's just not that simple. IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 788
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 05:45 PM
Astrologically, I don't see any reason in your chart why you'd have trouble mutually attracting people you'd want to be with...but your Cancer/Leo combo (Moon/Asc) and that 4th house Scorpio stellium would increase the "ouch" factor of not having the comfort and joy of a wonderful partner. If you were all Gemini and Sag, you might not care as much in the same way.A Cancer moon--I speak from experience--makes one very very sensitive emotionally. We tend to take things personally. But, I think I'm onto something with it being a wider cultural problem...there seem to be a few women on this thread alone whose beauty is noticed by street-harrasser men but who are not getting asked out by guys they actually know. IP: Logged |
missneptune
unregistered
|
posted November 10, 2008 05:54 PM
If all these other knowflakes haven't told you already Mysticr, well I can relate to your problem. I maybe 10 years younger, but I have the same problem. I've never officially dated, so I sometimes feel so depressed by this, I'm so unexperienced romantically speaking. Its ironic because I've seen so many fabulous strong women who have this problem. Are there just not any men around? Almost a year ago I finally got some attention from a boy that I was infatuated with and he was attracted to me right away, and he was very attractive, so I know I can attract boys that I find attractive! Anyways Mysticr, astrologically speaking I'd have to agree with the venus rx being slow to take action, sometimes retrogrades are karmic tests,and maybe your venus rx, is just not giving into superficial relationships? I feel I'm the same way, which ultimately means being patient that someone will finally emerge into your life, but it may not be tomorrow!  I also saw that you have cancer moon, water moons really need attachment to others, and without it, sometimes we can feel lost... ------------------
Sun - Leo
Moon - Pisces
Ascendant - Sagittarius IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 06:43 PM
quote:
ordinary everyday men who don't ask women out
Ask them? IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 788
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 09:33 PM
Missneptune, what happened to the boy you were mutually attracted to last year? Is he out of the picture?IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 10, 2008 09:44 PM
a good friend of mine is also like that. she's unique and one of the sweetest people i know of, but she's never dated a guy for more than 1 week. one thing is that just like you, Mysticr, she also has Venus conjunct Mars in less than i degree. Mars is her 5th house ruler and Venus her 7th, and they are conjunct at the cusp of the 11th house and conjunct Pluto in a wide degree (7-8). i think Venus conjunct Mars itself can give out a bit emotionally intense impression? but i guess at the same time it makes you good with dealing with romantic issues? my interpretation may not be right on though, since i'm a novice. but i thought it's a point to make, someone with the same situation same aspect. IP: Logged |
missneptune
unregistered
|
posted November 11, 2008 01:38 AM
Hey Lucia23! The strange thing about this boy that I was taking about is that an obstacle after another happened with this boy, we got to know each other really well, and he gave me his phone number, but he wrote it incorrectly (we were both tipsy), and then I couldn't get a hold of him. But I happened to have run into him several times at school, but we just didn't really hit it off again, so it obviously didn't go any further, and not until quite recently, I thought I would run into him again, and suddenly everything would work out, but that hasn't happened, I've moved on... But I never want to feel that vague about someone again, he was a sagittarius, which I love, but they can be a bit flakey- no commitment!
------------------
Sun - Leo
Moon - Pisces
Ascendant - Sagittarius IP: Logged |
buena36
unregistered
|
posted November 11, 2008 03:46 AM
Hi mysticr,Would you like that I post here your Natal Chart? There is very clear why that happens to you. Buena IP: Logged |
buena36
unregistered
|
posted November 11, 2008 03:55 AM
Here is the Chart and I leave to other people to explain.My words here are: Stars don't lie! (stolen words from one Astrologer)  IP: Logged |
Green Fairy
unregistered
|
posted November 11, 2008 06:14 AM
quote:
Ask them?
Easy to say, difficult to execute. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 11, 2008 06:53 AM
Be bold.What if he is sitting there thinking "it's difficult to execute"? No-one is going to get anywhere. I'd do it, I've done it. That must be why I've never had this problem. It's certainly not my looks. It's true that if it is a workplace setting things aren't so simple, as a recent thread indicated. IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 11, 2008 07:04 AM
If you want someone to be interested in you, you can pique their interest by being interested in them first. And of course you should also strive to be interesting. We should keep up with the changing times; we should say yes to reinventing, repackaging, revising the outmoded version of ourselves when necessary. You don't have to flat out ask a guy out if ýou don't want to appear desperate. Be creative. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
