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Author Topic:   UPDATE!!!
Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted January 24, 2002 08:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Chickie!!

How are you. I'm still at the job I hate but my last day is March 1st and I am so excited. (I need to write you privately for a more personal catch up)

I am walking headlong in to a hurricane and I know it, my friends know it and I refuse to stop myself.

He's a Gemini (May 31st). I don't know the year or place but since he is still married (seperated, I haven't completely lost my mind). I wouldn't ask you to look at his chart. I know how you feel about people who are not free to start a new realtionship and I completely respect that.

Anyway, I don't need charts to tell me I'm losing my mind. This guy doesn't have baggage he's got a lugguage shop.

This is his second marriage and from what he has told me I think his current wife maybe a manic depressive personality. Her temper is truly out of control. (I've asked for outside verifation of his stories) I asked him if she was always this way, first he said no, then he said there were signs but he chose to ignore them because he loved her but it has escalted to violence (on her part) so he left. I don't know what he is going to do but he said that he wouldn't leave one realtionship for another.

He has 4 children. The eldest is 18 and the youngest is 6.

Now I have a thing about ex wives (rather not deal unless I have to) and I'm putting myself in a postion to consider 2 of them.

(listen to me I have him divorced-which he's not)

I am so falling in love with this guy but I know that a friendship would make much more sense. There is a sense of the familar but that's been from the beginning and he gave me a car (he's my mechanic and it is a REALLY LONG STORY . I'm so confused.

Can you see something going on with me?
Are Gemini's and Libras compatible?

My Leo-I'm so annoyed with him. I won't be hearing from him for awhile-no more updates.
(I all to give you a final round up)

Da Whale-I don't know why I maintain a realtionship with him. He doesn't listen and can be very critcal of people. I may have an update on him soon. I think that may be a realtionship that gets set a side at the end of the year.

Birth info (for me) 10-10-68 12:51 PM Los Angeles, CA


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Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing self is enlightenment;
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering self needs strength.

He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of willpower.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.

Tao Te Ching, Chapter 33- Lao Tsu

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted January 25, 2002 10:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome, Total. Auriel will be back in a while.

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"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 04, 2002 01:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Amber! Wow! I guess I've been away too long! No wonder Randall's been urging me to come home! No wonder I haven't heard from you for awhile! I wrote when I came back from Jamaica and hardly heard a word from you! Now, I know why! Well, kiddo, I need his birth data, if you want me to look at your charts together. And I have to admit, I can't wait to see this one! I don't see you this excited very much, so I know it must be good! A luggage shop! You go girl! Kids are AWESOME! Randall, is that how you felt with all my kids given my home is always full with my three and at least half a dozen more?! Oh well, even if it is, that's not going to change!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 04, 2002 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
I'm sorry. I meant to write and then it was next day-tomorrow-next weekend No excuses really!!! I'll see about the birth data. If he knows I'm sure he will give it to me, it's the knowing that's the question.

How are you feeling?

Write only when you get a chance, I know you must be really busy

Love,
Amber

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 04, 2002 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Unbelieveable. It amazes me how many people know when they were born. He's really curious too. If you have time to give me basic info about what you see going on for him let me know. I am TOTLALLY DYING about what you see with our charts together.

Him:
May 31st 1963 7:06 AM
Sonara Mexico the city of El Cozon.

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 05, 2002 06:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
OK!!
Now you know that I have had that job that I hate right? Right. Well March 1st 2002 is my last day. Set in stone. I'm outta here. Well there is another comapny that shares the space with us (them) they found out I was leaving asked if I would consider working for them. CONSIDER-Have a discussion no big deal. I may want to much money, they may not have the benefits I want. You know just talk. Well the boss who is a friend of my boss went and spoke to him in a kinda friendly, hey we were thinking about hiring Amber what do you think. He tells him that March 1st is not set in stone. ******* !!!!!!! Whether I take the job uptairs or am pounding the pavement that following Monday I WILL NOT BE IN THIS JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry just a bit of venting. I'm glad to hear your doing better. I'll keep you posted.

I have access to his birth data but I know he would not give it freely so, so much for lookin at his chart but OOOOO!!! I'm so mad!!!!!

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 06, 2002 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
O.K. I talked to one of the partners and she said that everyone wants me to work for them and that it is just a matter of timing. So I'm praying that if this is the postion for me that I get it and I'm making sure that all of my projects are completed here. I think what will happpen is that they may want to see if I actually walk on that Friday. If I do they may hire me that Monday. We'll see. I'm still annoyed though because I could begin trainning for the postion now (on the weekends) this is their busiest time of year (tax season) so right now they are working 6 days, so if my current Boss wasn't such a jerk I could be coming in on Saturday and earning extra money.

Well this is an opportunity for me to get back to my Taoist principles and to be like water ! I think I'll do that first thing tomorrow (there can be something very liberating about fuming for a minute or two )

I'll keep you posted!

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 07, 2002 12:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Hey sweetie,

I just wanted you to know I'm not ignoring you. I have a sore throat, a pounding headache and an achy body. Astrology is VERY draining and I can't do it when I'm not up to par. This is the 2nd day of it, so hopefully it'll be gone soon.

I can't believe your boss! Well, white light to ya to get you through this month!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 07, 2002 12:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Mon Chere!

I'm sorry that you are sick. Just take it easy and don't worry about me. I've been reading some of the other post and there are much more serious situations happen besides me and my MARRIED NOT GOING TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE BY FRIDAY SO HE AN FALL IN LOVE WITH ME ON MONDAY SO WE CAN MARRY THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY mechanic (Hey everyone needs a nick name )

Feel better sweetie and will 'talk' when you are up to par. My prayers go out to you. Thank you for all the white light you are sending my way

Love
Amber

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 07, 2002 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
AHHHH!!!!!
It's not going to happen. We had a talk and took that Fatherly tone with me and said basically I don't like anyone stealing my employess (which I am not) and that if we are not a good fit then he is sure Joel and Joanne (the other people I would work for) would not be a good fit. OK. How can I say I don't mind the job I just don't want to work for YOU!!!!! I am so hurt I could cry, I really want this postion, I would be working in Bel Air (VERY exclusive part of Los Angeles) for FUN accountants (yes the exist ) but you know me I couldn't stand it if he was mad at me or everyone else. My desk would be right next to his office. He would get over it but it would be a LONG time. I wouldn't be able to stand it. The office is just to small. It really is like a family.

Oh well, something else will come up! I really don't like that man!!!

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 08, 2002 09:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Okay, where's the man's Leo?? It all sounds like ego to me!

Hey, I'm feeling much better! Still have a bit of a headache, but the sore throat and achy feeling are gone.

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 08, 2002 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Chickie!

I'm glad you are on the mend. Let yourself get fully well though. Don't set your self up for a set back.

His sun is in Tarus (listen to me sound all knowledgeable ) I'm tempted to put his B-data in one of those computer programs. Hmmm... We'll see if I can stop myself.

'm feeling very impowered this morning though. He is in the stock market so he keeps telling me how bad job prospects are and you know what I just feel like saying "So... what does that have to do with me" He thinks he's punishing me and yesterday he almost had me. But no MAN has ever punished me, not even my Father (he's not the type he just is disppointed in your actions.. works much better ) So there is no way I am going to let this man have that kind of power over me.

I am blessed beyond belief, I have great friends off and online . I have been blessed from strangers (if I'm honest I know that Jose was in apostion to help me and make me happy at the same time and he did. No strings. He's a guardinan angel for me, I want more because I don't know how just to say thank you but I'm working on it). I don't have to live with his world view. People are not out to get me) My life is great and he can't even begin to understand it. It's too bad really. He has alot of talents. Oh well, we make out own beds.

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 14, 2002 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
I quit on Tuesday. I told him in the morning I wanted to take the job if they would have me. He said he wanted to talk about it later. I find out from the other woman that I would be working for that he told Joel that he didn't want to happen (I don't know exactly what he said but that was the effect) and he had the opportunity to tell me then. He didn't so I walked. I have $13.00 in the bank but I couldn't stay. I feel guilty because the office is a mess but whatever. He'll get over it. The women in the office are giving him a hard time though. Mark - The EVIL ONE and the two of the women with the accounting firm would meet for drinks after work. He asked them yesterday if they wanted to share a bottle of wine with him. They said no thanks, very politely and then proceeded to open their own bottle together leaving him to drink alone. . This kinda thing won't last but I have to admit I'm kinda pleased they are giving him a hard time. The difference in pay was $14,000 a year. You KNOW I am angry!!!

I'm not sure what to think about Jose. First let me tell you about the dream I had (cut and pasted from and email I sent I hope formatting works).

Jose gave me a house. 2 story typical clapboard light blue with white
trim (exact color of my car). Hardwood floors, bright and airy.
3 bedrooms and a cute kitchen with an old stove. I was alone while
I was looking through the house. There was no furniture. I felt very
calm as I walked through the house. Although he gave me the house I
did not feel like he would be living there or that I owed him anything.
While in the living room I was wondering how I would move it from its
location. It seemed to be in the middle of a prairie type landscape.
I went outside and looked and the house was on a large trailer and there
was a old fashioned ford truck attached was the light blue, white interior,
white wall tires. I was really happy about the house and I took to a
friend (no one in particular just a generic person that I felt was a
friend). He liked but wanted to know why one of the windows was broken.

I looked up and the whole top side was smashed like big tree had fell
against the house. I was very hurt because I didn't know how the side
of the house (not just the window) got broken. I felt that the house
was perfect when it was given to me and now because I did something wrong
it wasn't perfect and I was going to have to ask him to fix it.

The only thing I can think is that I feel guilty about the car. I think
that the house represents a friendship. I think the wall is the damage
that I could do to it). Even though he hasn't given me and amount for
the total cost or for a monthly fee it is reasonable for me to pay $200.00
a month. I know it isn't more than $6K and knowing Jose I'll probably pay $4K for it. $4K for this car would be a great deal and interest free is a huge favor.

Anyway I told him that I will get him a car not by the end of the month. He says car note? Really asking me a question like he doesn't know what I am talking about. So I tell. The car I'm driving I have to pay for it. I tell him I had a dream but I haven't told him the details yet. He said o.k. like it's no big deal. I have flirted, I have hinted, I don't know what else to do.

I told him that he either need to divorce his wife or go to counseling and get his marriage back on track. He then said, What am I suppose to do just hand her divorce papers. I said I would rather he be unmarried (much to the chagrin of my best friend who said if he left his wife for me I would feel so guilty...He's not leaving her for anyone but yeah I would feel guilty... maybe) but if he wasn't going to divorce her he can't stay in limbo like this. He then said, one of these days I will meet a nice young man (he thinks he's so old) and I will then come to him with my marriage problems and he'll be able to counsel me, they way I have tried to counsel him. All VERY SWEET and TENDER LIKE!!! He thinks I'm CUTE!!!! He thinks I have a crush (which I do) and I donít know what Iím getting myself into. Which I may or may not.

Let see what else. I called Leo because I had to tell him about the job thing. So we are meeting for lunch. It was so fun to talk to him. Don't understand the ties that bind between us are but we were back to the old days (years ago) type banter. I do miss that side of our relationship. Weíll see if we can be friends again. Probably.

Da Whale wants to take me out. I donít know what to do because Iím starting to feel disingenuous. Deep down heís a nice guy but he is to critical of others for my tastes and he is very sensitive. Iím used to guys who if they are sensitive I have to search for it. Even my old boyfriend who was a Cancer who was as sentive as the come and a bit whiny at times still was a Ďstrong maní (what ever that means) that is my biggest problem is that he wants to be strong which he translates in to being bossy. I donít know how to tell him thatís not the way to be because I donít Ďcareí enough. Which as I write it down it really sounds horrible. Iíll have to think about this some more. If I am his friend I should tell him, Shouldnít I. He knows Iím not interested and he says heís not but his actions are saying different. You what I think he wants is the relationship Terry (leo) and I used to have but that came from a place that neither he (leo) or I created. It was just there pretty much from the beginning.

I'll let you know what happens.

Ohh. Mark wanted me to come in. To finish things up. I don't think so. I've worked for him. He would have me sit down tape the conversation the whole nine yards of intimidation. I know my limits, I would probably start to cry ('cause I couldn't hit him )

He wanted me to return the keys (which I did to the office manger of the building (which did not allow him to say he let me go because they all knew he was in a meeting at the time and would not have had time) there will be no spin on this one!) and said I needed to return MHA property. Whatever. Not going. I deleted all my info from the data base so the only way for him to get in touch with me is via my voice mail. I answered via email. We'll see if he calls again.

Happy Valentines Day My Dear!

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 14, 2002 11:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Oh shoot, I'm going to scream. I just posted a really long message to you and lost it when I tried to submit it. I worked on that message for 1 1/2 hours! My modem was too slow to get it through. I hate dial up modems. I'm spoiled rotten from my cable modem I had and can't handle Earthlink another week w/o screaming!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 14, 2002 11:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
BTW, Happy Valentine's Day, Amber!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 15, 2002 09:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, let's try this one more time, but I'll send it in pieces. I addressed a lot of stuff and not just one issue last night.

First of all, I know you'll find something, soon! You're a bright and talented lady and I have faith in YOU! I know you didn't ask me to look at the transits for work, but you're my good friend, and I did anyway. There's nothing helping or hurting you with a career right now. However, for JOBs, Saturn is sitting in your 6th house of work conjuncting your Moon. Awww sweetie, I hope you aren't sitting at home crying. That can be a tough transit or one that will help you, if you allow it. You're probably not as fond of the Old Goat as some of us, given all your Libra and Aries, but try to allow him to help you. He can help you build a solid foundation for your daily life and work situation at this time or he can bring you difficult challenges to get through. It's usually both at different times. Go with the flow and try not to let the challenges get to you! Chill with some soft music and let things go until you can handle them.

Another thing you should think about right now is your education. The transits are on your side for it beginning late spring and going the rest of the year.

BTW, Mark is getting what he deserves from the ladies after work! Way to go, ladies!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 15, 2002 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
As for your dream, you should ask Ra about it. He's the best I've seen and I've seen him do some brilliant work. He can usually be found on the Uni-versal Codes forum. If you want to copy and paste it there, you can do that, or you can ask him to look at it here. I'm not sure how he's doing with time, but if he has it, he's awesome!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 15, 2002 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Now, as for the man, I mean men. Jupiter is in your 7th house right now, attracting a lot of men to you. Be nice and tread carefully on hearts while he's there! Saturn is following closely and will be there in August. Given your natural dislike for him, you need to treat relationships with TLC right now or he'll make you pay for it when he stomps through your 7th house. That's a 2 1/2 year trek, so prepare now. He's on his way. If you are kind to others and don't take advantage of the generosity of Jupiter, and you find someone special, Saturn will come along and cement that relationship when he advances to your 7th. I know, Miss Libra, you may find that next to impossible to believe, but it's true.

As for Da Whale, yah, you really should be honest with him, but do it in a positive way, as the friend you are. He needs to know how others view him so he can grow and mature. Strong isn't even close to bossy, but it can be sensitive--not in a weak way, but in a gentle and loving way. Oh geez, you make me realize how blessed I am.

I pulled up the Leo's chart and have two birthdates for him!! Argh! I remember you giving me his correct birthday one day when we were talking a lot one day, but I forgot to delete the wrong one! I can't believe I did that! Oh well, I remember you two having strong charts together with a lot of challenges to get through, as well as sweet stuff to help you. You may never completely get away from each other, but you need to find a place that you're comfortable with him, and don't want to go back to what you had. It sounds like you're doing just that, but the temptation may arise with Jupiter in your 7th. Mars is opposing your Sun right now, so, be careful not to be rash. Remember....Saturn is near....

Oh shoot, I have to go take care of some things. I'll write about the Gemini later. You two have lots and lots and lots of aspects. But hey, I knew that before I ever opened the charts!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 15, 2002 10:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
I guess now you realize why I lost that message last night! And I still have another part to go!

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 15, 2002 11:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Sweetie!

Thanks a lot for posts. You were right on. I'll talk to Trav (Da Whale). He wants to take me to a play and I think that will be a good opportunity. It will be hard though. I never met a man who doesn't listen like this. I've been ignored but it like he can't hear. Hmm...

As for Terry (leo) thanks for the heads up .
Seeing him was great but I know that I need to really becareful our first few meetings. After hanging out a couple of more times our relationship will find its flow ya know what I mean. Terry is a great guy he's just not my guy (an according to him he's given up on women. He says if he were gay life would be so much easier, I told him "Hey now you have something to work toward " We had a good time.

Saturn huh. I should do some reading.

I'm not home crying but I am depressed (I think mainly because I haven't finished my Resume). It will be ok though. I'll let you know how the work front comes along

Can't wait to hear about the Gemini. We talked along time yesterday. I called at the shop to wish him Happy Valentines Day (really on a whim) he said he had to call me back and what surprised me, he did.

His wife called and asked if he would be he valentine and he said "What makes today any different then yesterday? I want to be loved everyday not on holidays." I think we had a break through as far as our friendship goes because I asked him. "When are you going to stop punishing her" He said 6 months maybe. I didn't expect that answer I don't think he expected to answer me that way. I explained (in case he was confused) that he was not her father. We talked I told they NEED counseling he said it's expensive I said "Your marriage should be worth the investment." It was really a very good and deep conversation. Definately on the friend mode but I was think this guy would be such a good husband. To me, to anyone. Not perfect. I can see where there wuld be problems because he is very 'old world' he tries, it's kinda cute but if you were a modern woman married to this man you would have to be the type who wanted your husband to lead and you GUIDE from behind (hey that sounds like me ). So we talked for along time. I asked if he still loved her. He said of course. "Just because people leave and divorce doesn't mean that they stop loving the person they just can't stay and be hurt any longer." I thought that was a very modern attitude for such an old fashioned guy. I asked if he was going to go back, he said he didn't know. "Maybe she'll meet someone else." I asked how he would really feel about that. He said that if you can't make it with someone you certainly can't stop someone else from trying. Hmmm... Not sure I beleive him. I think he means it but it's so foregin with the men I know until I'm not sure. He is older but not by much. I asked what if you meet someone else. He laughed and said "Don't tempt me Amber" (love when men say my name) We hung up the phone with me saying "You know I hate being told what to do"

I think because of his children he will go back. It will not work and they will divorce. I asked him, taking the children out of the picture would he go back. He said even with them in the picture he doesn't know. The whole thing is sad really. I can't get him to see that counseling is the only way. I don't know her because if I did if I could convince her that it was needed and she wanted to go he would go. He's got this thing about beingt told what to do though. Hmm... Interesting none the less.

I'm tellin' ya on the SURFACE of what I see, I could so marry this guy. One thing about our talk was I made it clear that although I believe him I'm not co-signing on any beat up the ex wife (there I go again). I let him know that I don't want to meet her but I don't know her side and I doubt that their problems were as simple as her temper. I think he appreciates that, I really do.

Can't wait to her what you see. I'll send Ra the dream.

Take care Mon Chere! And take it easy with the typing

Love,
Amber

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 15, 2002 11:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Sweetie!

Thanks a lot for posts. You were right on. I'll talk to Trav (Da Whale). He wants to take me to a play and I think that will be a good opportunity. It will be hard though. I never met a man who doesn't listen like this. I've been ignored but it like he can't hear. Hmm...

As for Terry (leo) thanks for the heads up .
Seeing him was great but I know that I need to really becareful our first few meetings. After hanging out a couple of more times our relationship will find its flow ya know what I mean. Terry is a great guy he's just not my guy (an according to him he's given up on women. He says if he were gay life would be so much easier, I told him "Hey now you have something to work toward " We had a good time.

Saturn huh. I should do some reading.

I'm not home crying but I am depressed (I think mainly because I haven't finished my Resume). It will be ok though. I'll let you know how the work front comes along

Can't wait to hear about the Gemini. We talked along time yesterday. I called at the shop to wish him Happy Valentines Day (really on a whim) he said he had to call me back and what surprised me, he did.

His wife called and asked if he would be he valentine and he said "What makes today any different then yesterday? I want to be loved everyday not on holidays." I think we had a break through as far as our friendship goes because I asked him. "When are you going to stop punishing her" He said 6 months maybe. I didn't expect that answer I don't think he expected to answer me that way. I explained (in case he was confused) that he was not her father. We talked I told they NEED counseling he said it's expensive I said "Your marriage should be worth the investment." It was really a very good and deep conversation. Definately on the friend mode but I was think this guy would be such a good husband. To me, to anyone. Not perfect. I can see where there wuld be problems because he is very 'old world' he tries, it's kinda cute but if you were a modern woman married to this man you would have to be the type who wanted your husband to lead and you GUIDE from behind (hey that sounds like me ). So we talked for along time. I asked if he still loved her. He said of course. "Just because people leave and divorce doesn't mean that they stop loving the person they just can't stay and be hurt any longer." I thought that was a very modern attitude for such an old fashioned guy. I asked if he was going to go back, he said he didn't know. "Maybe she'll meet someone else." I asked how he would really feel about that. He said that if you can't make it with someone you certainly can't stop someone else from trying. Hmmm... Not sure I beleive him. I think he means it but it's so foregin with the men I know until I'm not sure. He is older but not by much. I asked what if you meet someone else. He laughed and said "Don't tempt me Amber" (love when men say my name) We hung up the phone with me saying "You know I hate being told what to do"

I think because of his children he will go back. It will not work and they will divorce. I asked him, taking the children out of the picture would he go back. He said even with them in the picture he doesn't know. The whole thing is sad really. I can't get him to see that counseling is the only way. I don't know her because if I did if I could convince her that it was needed and she wanted to go he would go. He's got this thing about beingt told what to do though. Hmm... Interesting none the less.

I'm tellin' ya on the SURFACE of what I see, I could so marry this guy. One thing about our talk was I made it clear that although I believe him I'm not co-signing on any beat up the ex wife (there I go again). I let him know that I don't want to meet her but I don't know her side and I doubt that their problems were as simple as her temper. I think he appreciates that, I really do.

Can't wait to her what you see. I'll send Ra the dream.

Take care Mon Chere! And take it easy with the typing

Love,
Amber

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Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 16, 2002 10:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry about the double post. I tried to delete one but it didn't seem to work.

Have a great weekend!

Love,
Amber

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Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 17, 2002 02:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
See what happens when you leave me with a bottle of wine and free time...

O.K. I've been thinking about my feeling for Jose. I'm really at a crossroads and considering your post I need to think about what I'm doing... but hey when am I practical.

If I look at our backgrounds alone there is no reason for me to be intersted. I found out yesterday that the man didn'tfinsih high school and I Phd. in my future. That doesn't seem to matter to me. He is like the forbidden fruit, ya know what I mean. I don't know what to do. Actually I know exactally what to do. Back Up. But that's not what I want to do.

Guess what I did. It's so high school until I can't believe i did but here is goes. I have audio tapes for certain situations or people. Terry (leo) has a two CD set I call Sean (his middle name) With or Without. The songs I thought of with him and those without him (the without is a better CD) now most people don't know I have these tapes of them. There really is no reason. they are just songs that remind me of them. No big deal. Well I gave Jose a copy of his tape. I told him that he should listen to them in the car. Some of the songs remind me of his situation (Kenny Logins-I Did It For You) and some he justs comes to mind (Dido-Giving Me the Best Day of My Life). I can't believe I did this. Now I'm wondering what am I going to do if he takes me up on my offer. At this point, nothing but my pride is at stake and I have no problem putting that aside in this situation (he's so sweet until he wouldn't hurt it anyway. He would just dismiss me as easy as he could-heck he's tried but not forceful enough (yet).

I'm sure he's going to go back I just kinda feel like I better make myself clear before he does. O. K. I'm rambing time to go to bed.

I've read some of the other post, you got a lot going on Mon Chere. Rest easy if you can.

Love,
Amber

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Morning Storm
Knowflake

Posts: 1778
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: May 2001

posted February 17, 2002 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Morning Storm     Edit/Delete Message
Oh sweetie, take care of yOu.

As for the education difference--is he intelligent and does he have a degree of life from the university of hard knocks? The piece of paper shows tenacity and drive, but I've met people who don't have it, who are exceptionally wise and intelligent. I understand what you're saying, though.

You know, I don't really have a whole lot going on, but I do wear my hand out while sitting at this machine. I'll be all right.


------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
--Rumi

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Knowflake

Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted February 18, 2002 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
O.K. but take it easy just the same. you don't wnt to undo all that was done with the surgury.

Don't worry about me. Education difference doens' matter. Univeristy of hard knocks. you bet. When I said baggage, his kids are only the beginning. Part of a family of 16 where he is part of the oldest for. 7 of his siblings are dead. He's lived on the streets as a kid and he still one of the sweetest men I have ever met. I haven't ask how so many of his brothers and sister have died since they all lived through infancy and half were born here in the states. It was probably gang related but I'm not sure (yet, you know I will be asking). When I say I don't know what I'm doing I just wonder what the draw is.

Opps roommate needs the PC.

Talk to you soon!
Love
Amber

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