posted June 07, 2002 07:07 PM         

Remember he needs to ask you out at least four days in advance, other wise decline. Hey that's the rule I hate EEERRRR. But since it's an unconfirmed date??? I dunno, go if he asks you at least a day or two before. I'd have to say no if he calls and asks for a same day date.

Virgo Rising,

I don't know if one of the authors got divorced or not. I do know there are no gaurantees, in life. The book is a great asset to remind us no to get lost in the "idea" of a new love/relationship. Women so often, after a date or two get caught up in the thinking trap of "maybe he's the one." The book is a guide line so we don't get lost, and it has some valid logic too.

At first I thought it was stupid, but after reading it a few times, I get it!

posted June 07, 2002 11:05 PM         

Breezy~ I went shopping with my friend tonite and bought The Rules!!! I'm reading it right now and REALLY like it. Thank you so much for telling me about it!

As for what happens....like Caileah said, it is either going to be the end of my interest with getting abck together with him, or the beginning of a relationship with him. Most likely it will be a sign that says: "he's not interested, so forget it!" but maybe not. We shall see! Either way it will be good;it's closure and I need closure.

Thanks you guys for all the advice and interest in my pathetic love life!

I'll keep you guys posted.

posted June 08, 2002 01:13 AM         

Pathetic, smathetic. Least you have a love life. Heck I haven't been on a date in 23 years (just kiddin)

It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, long as your growing, there's movement...means your alive!!!

No negitive words (or thinking).... lets see how did you put it, something like he'll probably won't be interested.....but he called you back didn't he? I hate the be the bearer of bad news, but men don't call women their not interested in. So there's something there. You just gotta find out how much

Glad your enjoying the book

posted June 08, 2002 12:14 PM         

My sentiments exactly

No use setting yourself up for unnecessary heartache.

posted June 08, 2002 02:12 PM         

As good as it is, the women who wrote this book are ridiculously superficial; they say "Rules Girls" ALWAYS wear makeup, even when they're jogging! I mean come one! I'm not going to go jogging with makeup on! They also recommend "those who have bad noses to get nose jobs." A pretty creepy suggestion if you ask me.

Besides that, though, I think the book shows you that you don't need to sit around waiting for the right guy; you must be confident that someone will find *you*, instead of you seeking *them*. It has a lot of helpful tips, and is definitely worth it. Thanks Breezy for recommending it!

posted June 08, 2002 06:14 PM         

-StarLover

posted June 09, 2002 08:37 AM         

You're right - at least one of the women who wrote The Rules is divorced, I think the other one is separated. But they have still written Marriage - the Rules. Pretty funny!

I do have some problems with the rules, and it will give no help at all in finding your Twin. But most guys aren't your Twin, and it's good to be prepared. I think it probably has good advice for young girls especially.

I read an article in a magazine by a widowed single mum who used "the rules" - to repel men! It worked - she was happily date-free for years. Then she met a guy at a party, and gave him "the rules". He could ring her, only after 9 pm and the conversation had to end by 11 pm. She would not go out on a weeknight and needed a week's notice for a date.

He rang her at 9:01 pm, and they talked on the phone until 2 am. The went out every night of that week. They got married soon after that. They are very happy.

posted June 09, 2002 08:40 AM         

You're right - at least one of the women who wrote The Rules is divorced, I think the other one is separated. But they have still written Marriage - the Rules. Pretty funny!

I do have some problems with the rules, and it will give no help at all in finding your Twin. But most guys aren't your Twin, and it's good to be prepared. I think it probably has good advice for young girls especially.

I read an article in a magazine by a widowed single mum who used "the rules" - to repel men! It worked - she was happily date-free for years. Then she met a guy at a party, and gave him "the rules". He could ring her, only after 9 pm and the conversation had to end by 11 pm. She would not go out on a weeknight and needed a week's notice for a date.

He rang her at 9:01 pm, and they talked on the phone until 2 am. The went out every night of that week. They got married soon after that. They are very happy.

posted June 09, 2002 10:11 AM         

Your so right, once you meet the "Right One" things will flow, even if your sticking to the rules they'll stick around....If it's meant to be it's meant to be!

Once you have them you can let things have a natural ebb and flow. The book sure saves on wasting time, energy and emotions on the "wrong people" (Not speaking from a spiritual perspective)

posted June 09, 2002 02:02 PM         

How are you doing? Sorry I haven't been around since my first response to you here. I got really sick with a Viral infection. I read most of the other replies to try and catch up.

I hope you don't mind me saying, but *please* don't overanalyze the situation with him too much! Just let things flow! Try and think of it like getting together with one of your girl friends/buddies.

No offense to anyone, but I disagree with some of the "rules". No, I didn't read the rule book but I've read a lot of the rules which were posted in newspapers or magazines, or chatted about on T.V. The 4 day rule doesn't work for me, because I am *very* last minute and don't like to make plans too far in advance. Therefore, if someone were to ask to make plans in less than 4 days ahead, I do or don't depending on my plans or how I'm feeling, *not* because of some "rule".

Well I just hope things are going well ~ take care ~

posted June 09, 2002 06:09 PM         

If I could turn the clock back to when I was a teenager and in love, I would have gone after him, put my foot down, grabbed his tie when he strayed away from me & brought him back. But I didn't because I was afraid so I suffered in silence thinking about him, missing him. Being deaf, I was stuck with no phone calls between us to get messages across, the internet wasn't around, then. (he isn't deaf) It took more than 20 years for us to re-UNIT-ed and it did last a pretty long time considering the long distance between us and two different worlds, but we got to meet in love zone. Once I found him, I PUT MY FOOT DOWN! And never regretted it once even tho it didn't last forever, but certainly worth it. This reminds me of a song some girls played/danced using Sign Language during the convention for the interpreters/deaf people.

I can only remember the first part off top of my head:

quote:

---

What I Did For Love

Can't Regret ...

---

GLLF, let us know how it goes for you. You will know yourself when not to chase, when to stop, when to back away, be cool, etc. Only you know the situation yourself.

Don't forget

quote:

---

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the heaven ... a time to be born ... a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together ... a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing ..." Ecc. 3:1-5

---

I don't care much for game playing myself so I usually don't bother at all, then it happens anyway.

posted June 10, 2002 01:27 AM         

Neph~ I'll try not to go crazy with this.

Mele~ What an amzing love story! Twenty years later!?! Wow!

I'll still tell you guys what happens!

GLLF

posted June 14, 2002 02:33 PM         

He called me on wednesday and we got together today!

We talked about what we'd both been doing lately, our friends, families, etc. It went very well, and we both had fun, but he's going out of town next week for more than a month, so getting back together is unlikely. I realize again why we broke up....Seeing him today, I now know that the same things that used to bother me about him still do. Because I hadn't seen/talked to him for so long I sort of forgot all the problems we had. Now I realize it wasn't so perfect. And I also realize that I don't need him. He will always be special to me, but I am better off without him. If I hadn't seen him today, I would have always been wondering. Now I know. It was really good that we saw each other, because I see now that while maybe we could be friends, we will never be romantically involved(hehe, sounds so serious) again.

I'm so glad I finally got a bit of closure.

posted June 14, 2002 03:04 PM         

the part about keeping busy and taking care of yourself are two points i liked about the book. have you read the part where it says something like, if your friends are having pizza, resist the temptation and have something healthier because you'll rest with the feeling knowing that your jeans will fit tomorrow

good luck to you gooberz!!!

love,

aphrodite

posted June 15, 2002 12:21 AM         

It's *always* better to find out for sure than to live your life wondering!!!!!

posted June 15, 2002 02:23 AM         

A huge HUGE thank you to everyone who responded to this! Even if you just read it and wished me luck! It is so great to have your support and advice!

A special thank you to Breezy!

GLLF

posted June 16, 2002 01:20 PM         

Sounds like the perfect ending! Your heart can rest now, and rest assured that when the time is *RIGHT* that Mr. Absolutely Perfect, will be there!

We learn about ourselves through our relationships with others. You handled yourself with grace, dignity and pride. A stong woman you are my friend.

A friend of mine says, "The difference between women and girls is that, women love in spite of."

Stick to the Rules.....YOUR RULES!

Breezy~

PS thank you for the ever so kind appreciation.....