posted August 02, 2003 12:11 PM         

Oxy, my husband is a Cancer and after 8 years, I just don`t get it. Nope, I just don`t get the emotional ups and downs. What a waste of lovely energy . His Aries moon can ignite him and he`s off like a house afire. Only to burn out and retreat in his shell to lick his 'perceived' wounds. It leaves me wondering what the heck just happened?

Nope Moonshadow, no logic to it at all. But you have to admit, the combo of Cancer/Aqua is entertaining and there`s never a dull moment!

posted August 03, 2003 11:52 PM         

If we are fighting he always brings it up. To me it's art, the letters are from a Venus in Cancer Gemini and very beautiful. Even my Grandmother kept letters to herself. it's normal. I am a very loyal friend but once I have passed the line into intimacy it's a whole other story. I can be bad. Luckily a Libra with Gemini Moon and Venus in Virgo and Gemini rising taught me some lessons.

Cancer Moons are very different than Cancer Suns. Cancer Suns like to be the one to be let go of because they don't have to set boundaries. If your partner leaves you, then you don't have to set boundaries or set limits. You get to be pampered and spoiled right to the end. Then the guilt gifts come in and you can always use that guilt later. It took me a long time to get over that and set boundaries, and learn to leave my lover.

Like the song says, there are fifty ways to leave your lover, and all are good. It's easy for a Cancer to fall in love, harder to let go because they don't want to give up the mindset that they made a mistake. Pride is pain, it's a waste of time in my opinion.

I have a Cancer friend who I've known all my life. She's a sweetie but we are not real close. She has always sabotaged any kind of happiness in my life. Do I blame her? No because I can see why she would, anger is tough to talk about when you love someone. We would rather cover it up but then subconciously the anger comes out. Now I do not talk about it but I distance myself emotionally and send pretty but unemotional greeting cards. You can't fight emotional fire with fire, you have to stay cool.

I let her know I respect her as a friend and I am a stable friend. Being a Taurus I can hold grudges, but I let her know that she has matured and I know when you can't get what you want in life you get confused and strike out at who is closest.

Funny thing is, she walks just like a crab, back and forth and won't let anyone into her house unless they call first. She's very nosy, and crabby. I always call her my big crab.

I feel this way about all water signs really. They don't let go because they do not feel they have control over that. Emotionally they get drained building up to it. I never feel sorry for a Cancer and I never feel sorry for anyone who is walked out on, usually it takes two to tango.

My Cancer moon causes me to be much, much too gothic. Try a gothic setting for romance with your Cancer and see how it goes. That could be the 8th house moon, but look at Lord Bryon another Cancer Moon, yes gothic is in.

My partner has the Moon on the ascendant and watch out, he's moody and attracts women, ha. We have a rule of not staying mad past one day. If one senses the other is mad, that person has to kiss the other one immediately. Cuddling is very, very good. The Cancer influence does make a good lover but one person can't be all things to one person, and that's where the moodiness comes in. Cancer women are great, Cancer men make great friends too but have trouble keeping it from being intimate, they need full time cuddling. Without daily affection Cancers get grouchy.

posted August 03, 2003 11:57 PM         

With lovers I like to imagine there is a space in the garden, and you can fill it with anything you desire but make sure to find a slow growing plant that you want to look at every single day.

Weeds grow fast, flowers take time but it's worth it. What I am saying is that if you can't deal with this man now at the start, it's not going to change.

I don't subscribe to the it gets better later, if it's good at the start it will work. Your instincts know.

posted August 04, 2003 06:20 AM         

Yes, I agree with you Natasha, there is a world of difference between Cancer Moons and Suns. Same with any sign really.

posted August 04, 2003 06:46 AM         

Wow...you must be one paient Aqua, juniperb.

posted August 05, 2003 08:42 AM         

sthenri, I love the weed/flower analogy. I think this pertains to everyone; grow with them or get left behind, or choked out. Each sign has wonderful possabilities and cultivated wisely, both can grow, expand, be lovers and friends.

Typical Aqua here, one must be my friend to see the sheets!

juniperb

posted August 24, 2003 03:13 AM         

He did mentioned once a break up occurs he never goes back. I am the one who can never let go. I keep everything from old clothes to pictures, childhood art work and toys. I usually don't break up with anyone because I know what it is like to feel abandoned. Usually I let the other person break up or I just distance myself and try to stay friends.

But my last Cancer ex never talked about his ex-girlfriends too much but only discussed it when asked. He seemed to look forward to our future together. We went looking for apartments together because we we going to get married and he said he wanted to throw away all my old furniture and buy everything new. He gave away his computer to his brother and his car and was about to buy a new one. He said he wanted a completely new life with me. It could have been his Venus in Gemini or Taurus Moon that allowed him not to be emotionally attached to things or anyone.

He truly shocked me because all the clingyness I experienced when we were together was suddendly wiped away and it seems as if we never met. Now he is ice cold and will not contact me at all. It went from calling me 5 times a day saying "I Love You" to "Move on with your life. Goodbye Forever".

I do have one question hopefully someone may have the answer to....I have read that Cancers do not forgive at all. Has anyone experienced a Cancer holding on to every slight or misunderstanding? That is very hard for me to understand because I forgive almost like breathing. I know that is not a true Taurus charateristic but I think my Pisces Moon or Gemini Rising and Venus have affected my ability to forgive. I don't forget but I have an amazing capacity to forgive.

Many people have told me I don't act like a Taurus.

Well, I a feel much more informed about Cancer men after reading this thread and I much wiser and now I don't take on all the guilt of my break up. I know it was not all me but Cancers change with the Moon.

Blue M

posted August 24, 2003 04:06 AM         

Cancerians of all kinds have amazing memories, coloured by feelings, and will spellbind you with laughter and stories and all colours of the rainbow if the content is 'good'...

But if it's 'bad'... then the unpleasant manifestation of all this excellent selective emotional memory is frequently a scolding where all the bad stuff they remember comes up. The stereotype is the big "after all I've done for you" speech. Not nice, not pretty. I call it the Cancer Undertow".

I say this as a CancerMoon, who has observed similar behaviour in myself, and in other kinds of Cancerians. Personally I've had to work toward more maturity so that I don't engage in this counterproductive behaviour, to let go the petty stuff, and never ever hear myself saying that kind of crap.

Of course, the other message in a Cancerian scolding is "how could you hurt me this way", as a defensive volley from the shell of Fort Cancer. It's a sign that finds it hard to achieve any kind of balance.

posted July 12, 2005 11:02 AM         

All of you have given much insight into what I have seen and experienced with this cancer. It has beena mystery to everyone for the past 5 years. We are friends and we talk about nothing emotional....for once the emotional talk begines we both run for cover (Me:Aqua) and yet we feel a need to stay connected. The last time we saw each other you could have cut the sexual tension with a chain saw. Yet he will not tell me how he feels...he drops hints like it is cool!

I hope that I am doing the right thing with him...some communicating. Should I just tell him the next time he drops a hint? I certainly do not want him running for the hills...I would miss the friendship.

Enough of my ramblings!

posted July 12, 2005 06:37 PM         

I know Taurus Moon and Venus in Gemini and it's not clingy at all, more as in let's talk about what we can do for me today! It's all in the here and now, no future, no past. As a Cancer Moon, I am more practically clingy. I will form a future and stick to it, but I don't choose losers in the first place so I don't have to do a lot of rejecting.

The trick to Cancers is discrimination, the happy ones really look hard at someone first before committing. The unhappy ones shop around, it seems.

I know two Cancer men but they are prone to fits and abusive behaviour if they encounter any inconsistency or if they feel threatened at any time at all.

You would have to be psychic to make one feel safe, so make one need you!

On the plus side they are good lovers, much like Scorpio men. (with some sexual hangups).

I think I like Scorpio men a bit more, less hangups and more straightforward, but in the end all water sign men have too many hangups about how women should act to be with me everyday. We make great friends though.

I am split between Aquas and Cancers as the best lovers right now.