posted November 23, 2002 10:32 AM         

you said: The shame of having accepted to continue in an abusive relationship is indescribable...

No guilt, no blame, no fault, no shame. Shame is an illusion. It is the fear of believing that you are good and true and worthwhile and lovable, any and all good things like that. The dictionary calls it "A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace".

Now I am not saying that violence cannot have the result of diminishing self-worth, and that it can take time to rebuild it. And perhaps it is near impossible to avoid feeling shame. Either way, it's good that you got through it. And it is probably harder when you marry young and have kids too. Well, I think you are just excellent and very lovable!

You all have a lot of kind words for Fajita, I don't really have much to add except that no matter when domestic violence happens, or how long it lasts, a woman should get out, and do her best to keep her head up high and never accept what the violent person is doing. It's difficult, yet you are always a great lovable person even if someone else has a problem with himself...it has nothing to do with you and who you are. Remembering that is the challenge.

posted November 23, 2002 02:42 PM         

Thank you Carlo,

hope everyone is having a fun weekend..

posted November 25, 2002 06:13 PM         

Jakie those sites are sooooo cool!!! But what program do I use to open them up after I download them?? Please tell me. I love em!

posted November 26, 2002 10:59 AM         

OH MY GOD! My dear Leo ex, Lily, whom I have been friends with for ten years now...get this...

She meets this great Taurus guy early this year. She is a schoolteacher in NJ, has been for years, working on a Master's in Library Science now. They are both technically townies. He has a good job, I forgot what, yet Tauruses usually do okay. She is 41 this year he is 44, neither has kids. We write every week or so, have kept in touch over the years, tent next to each other at gatherings, best of pals now, lalala. I did their synastry back in March or something, she paid me, no biggie. They seemed like a decent match, both Italian American, and he is Pagan-friendly, so it's all good for her. So she sells her aunt's condo, he sells his, and he buys Lily's condo, so now they have some cash and plan to have a baby! Aw, that's great news, honey, I am so happy for you...let me know if you want me to do your astrobiology, give you your fertile times, you know, like I do. I'll help you guys conceive, just let me know what I can do You know us helpful Virgs, right? So this morning, she asks if I would consider donating semen! Gulp! I mean, not "gulp" literally lol Now, I was a sperm donor for almost two years back in the mid 90s. I got paid pretty well for it, like $100 week, and it helped, I was in law school at the time. The doctor upon my completion of the program said that so far, 26 conceptions had arisen from my donations. Plus they still have gallons of it frozen, so no doubt there have been many more since then, yet I cannot get to it. They make it available as part of a fertility package for like $20 grand. You don't just pull up to the drive-thru and say, "One cup, Caucasian, please. Extra Carlo on the side." It's a package deal that includes the hospital stay, and everything. And I never opted for the option to keep som frozen for myself, although I considered it at the time, but there was a moderate cost and I wasn't into it then.

So if I agree, then what? My Leo wife would probably go out of her mind, just being a Leo...yet...I don't know! I am intrigued to be asked, yet...I am still waiting for Lily's reply to my reply to her, which was basically "Are you kidding???" Yet she is a serious Leo, a real adult, and I am pretty sure she is serious. So what the hell do I do, you guys!!! I need some advice before she writes back and before my wife wakes up!

posted November 26, 2002 11:13 AM         

You don't need to download the gifs. This is what you do :
Find a picture/gif you like, then click right at the image. Copy the property and paste here using this formula,

[img]propertyofthepicture[/img]

Try here !

posted November 26, 2002 06:48 PM         

Carlo, omigosh, what are you going to do! You must be very flattered! What a compliment. But to be in your wife's shoes, (what size, just kidding) I can see it would be odd, I mean that would be your kid with your friend!
I was born in Torrance, and lived in orange county, hacienda heights, santa ana, and then after coming back from a 2 year stay in England I lived in gorgeous San Diego for 3 years. *sigh* enjoy it there for me!
I meant boca raton was becoming cooler as in a cool place to be, like hip. Not cold! Because it's not
let us know what transpires with Lily..

posted November 27, 2002 01:25 PM         

quoth the Lioness, in an email today titled "babymaking"...

I was just kidding about being a donor! My guy has Italian genes too. However, he smokes so much pot, his sperm count has got to be low. What do you know about that?

I thought I could tell when I'm ovulating, but maybe you can come up with a more exact time. Do you need to know the dates of my last 6 menstrual cycles or something like that? I'm not really thrilled about the idea of being pregnant, but if I can have my own child, I shouldn't put it off much longer -- I'm 41 already. Eventually, if things don't happen naturally, I'll just adopt a child. That might even be better -- no stretch marks!

***

har har, well...now you k-now that I have anxiety about donating semen...rats...and I thought I could hide that better from you all lol

posted November 27, 2002 08:59 PM         

Happy Thanksgiving to you!