posted March 25, 2003 12:29 AM         

Rightio: here's the situation. You start dating someone... you really like them... hey, you might have a few problems in the beginning but who doesn't?... THEN you do a synastry reading for you both and WHAM! You discover you are incompatible, there is unresolved HARSH karma between you... etc, etc - you get the picture... Any astrologer worth their salt would tell you to run the other way as fast as your legs can carry you...

But should you?.....

This is the situation in my life at the moment. I like (Well... I'm in Love with!) a guy who is so utterly incompatible with myself that i really should take my own (and other people's!) advice and run the other way...

But I can't.... I Love him to death - even though he hurts me (Yes this shows up in our synastry)...

Has ANYONE here gone through a similar situation? Have you ignored your astrological knowledge to keep a relationship going?

What happened???

posted March 25, 2003 06:50 AM         

That is if he hurts you intentionally. As in he knows what he's doing is hurting you and yet doesn't try to change. I do think in any relationship it's not always a bed of roses. That someone will get hurt by the other party. Still, if it's accidental and the other party's sincere in his/her apology and will try to change for the better, that "hurt" can actually be a blessing in disguise, right? It's because of mistakes that we learn and grow, and not of what we do correctly. I remember something I read in Reader's Digest's Laughter, the Best Medicine:

Reporter: Sir, could you please share to use the secrets of your success?
Bank manager: Two words. Right Decisions.
Rep: And how does one arrive at the right decisions?
BM: One word. Experience.
Rep: And how does one gain experience in the field, sir?
BM: Two words. Wrong Decisions.

It's funny. But it does carry a lot of truth. (Off-topic, think maybe the manager's a Taurean, perhaps? )

I may be misinterpreting Linda Goodman here, but what she said in her Star Signs book is if you take the number 9 of conflict and add it to 6 of love you'll get 15, which when reduced gives 6 (love). So, take your 9's (i.e. bumpy roads on your synastry) and douse it with 6's (i.e. your love for each other) and you can negate the harshest of karma I believe.

But remember it takes two to tango. And a love relationship is a very delacate variation of tango. You really have to be careful not to step on each others toes. Even if you really want to make it happen if the other party's unwilling I don't think there's not much you can do.

posted March 25, 2003 07:58 AM         

I'm just saying that I noticed a BRIEF mention of some negative stuff...and didn't want it to be unnecessarily downplayed, if that's the case.

posted March 26, 2003 12:04 AM         

When i say that this bloke 'hurts' me - I in no way think it is intentional (And we are talking about emotional rather than physical hurt) - it just seems to happen that way. One minute he wants to be with me, the next he wants 'space', the next he is declaring his LOVE for me (Yes, he has dropped the four letter word a number of times), the next he is telling me he wants me to move back in with him (After telling me he wants me to move out no less than a month or two ago) - Can you guys see how confusing this is for me?!

Arrrggghhh!! It's driving me crazy (not to mention stressing me RIGHT out!).

I WANT to give it a try - but then again i can't help but fear him changing his mind again - or dropping a choice comment like 'You don't make me happy if you are with me or not' - followed right behind a comment like 'You are my sunshine' (And these are direct quotes mind you!)

And in no way am i blaming astrology - or making excuses for the happenings in my life - i'm just desperate for a solution!

Thanx again
LOL
Nebel

posted March 26, 2003 04:26 AM         

Do you have aspects in your chart to his Saturn? I was wondering because most of the painful relationships I have had, the ones which I tend to hang on to something that is not good for me ... there have been aspects to my partners Saturn.

The problem that I have with astrology and relationships is my awful habit of running charts on every man I date. (I'm sorry, I can't help it! I just have this overwhelming desire to know!)

Once I start looking at the synastry and composite charts I start to come up with these preconceived notions of how the relationship is supposed to be. So many of them end in disappointment because my expectations are not met.

But on the other hand, if I had been paying more attention to the composite chart of a very recent and painful break-up ... a chart which had Neptune in Scorpio exactly conjunct the Asc., then I may have spared myself the pain of finding out that my partner was hiding a terrible drug habbit from me and that the whole relationship was based on deception, and my own denial that the problem ever existed.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that astrology is just a tool and how we use it is up to us, but it's the choices you make based on the information that tool provides you that are going to make or break a relationship.

Love and Light,

posted March 27, 2003 12:53 AM         

I understand how hard it is NOT to do a synestry for every relationship you have! But i have with this one and look at how much trouble i'm in now!

Yes we do have quite a few Saturn aspects - and most are to my Sun and Mars - ewww!!

Thanx again for your help
Nebel