posted January 04, 2004 11:39 PM         

(I can just see my fellow Knowflakes cringing as they begin to read my response to you... hee hee)

Look... For what it's worth OK? Because I am NOT the moral compass for anyone by any means. First, I gotta say I've lived my entire life by NEVER breaking three strict rules:

1. Never date a married man. How would you like it if your husband was cheating on you with someone like you?

2. Never get involved with someone I work with.

3. Never date a man who has been divorced for less than a year. They don't know what the hell they are doing.

OK... so I don't care where your planets are. Married men are NOT an option. So what's the question?

.gloria

posted January 05, 2004 01:20 PM         

Now, as for your transits...from Astro.com

Jupiter square Neptune: False optimism

1 January 2004 until 7 February 2004: At this time you will work very hard to actualize your ideals and find a concrete way to put your spiritual views into practice in the real world. But you can expect the real world to put up some resistance to your ideas. Among other things, you will be challenged to demonstrate that your ideals are not just irrelevant, impractical abstractions. You will also have to demonstrate that your views are based on realism rather than some dream world, which is where you may very well be now. At any rate, this time will give you the opportunity to find out.

You will give readily when called upon now, because this influence signifies a great generosity to people who are less fortunate than yourself. But you may not be very discreet in choosing the people on whom you lavish your charity. Some people can be helped, and it would be worthwhile to spend your time on them. But others are not worth wasting time on, although with this influence you may not be able to tell the difference.

On another level, this influence can signify the kind of false optimism that makes you take foolish risks, especially with limited resources. In any financial dealings be very careful that everything is exactly as represented to you by others. Otherwise you could be taken for a ride.

This time is a test of your grasp of reality and your ability to translate ideals into practice. There is no reason to assume that you will not pass the test, but you do have to be careful.

Religious or spiritual delusions are another danger of this influence. You may be tempted to run after false messiahs or teachers whose ability to dazzle with spiritual phrases exceeds their ability to teach you how to cope with your life.

Jupiter square Sun: A matter of self-control

1 January 2004 until 25 January 2004: This can be an excellent time, but you must watch out for some pitfalls that could undo all the benefits. Basically this influence is a test of your discipline and self-restraint. If you are not a restrained person, you will react to this influence by going overboard in some way, overextending yourself or living in a fool's paradise where you think nothing can go wrong. Or you might squander a valuable resource, only to find on another day that you do not have enough of what you need. Sometimes there is a feeling that luck will provide everything that you need without any effort on your part, but this, too, is a false notion.

But this time can also provide a chance for real growth and expanded opportunities. It is a matter of how much control you have over yourself. You have to know precisely where you are and what your real needs are in order to take the most advantage of this time. You also have to know when you can't handle anything more. Knowing when to stop is the real trick.

Sometimes this influence encourages ego inflation and excessive pride. Be careful not to act in an overbearing manner, for you will set people in motion who will try to knock you down a peg or two. Here too, you must know where to stop.

Under certain conditions this influence can trigger conflict with the law or with someone else in a court of law. You may or may not lose, but don't act the role of outraged honor and dignity. Try to find out exactly what the problem is and arrive at a solution that is satisfactory to all.

Saturn trine Venus: It can happen now

1 January 2004 until 4 January 2004: This is an excellent time for you to achieve real stability in your relationships. Your individual personal needs will not conflict with the demands of the relationship, and you can base them on a realistic understanding of who you are and what others need from you. Your vision is clear, and you are not likely to enter a relationship under the spell of romantic illusions. If you are romantically inclined, in fact, your relationships may seem rather practical and dull now. However, you can use this kind of experience. A relationship should be an encounter between yourself and another individual that helps you define and understand yourself more clearly. That can happen now.

Sometime in the last few years many relationships that were inappropriate for your life were weeded out. That process may have been quite painful, but it was necessary at the time. Now, however, the only relationships left are those that have real value in your life. You should be working on them to improve your understanding of yourself and how you relate to others. This is a time for growth relationships that expand your awareness. For this reason, you may have a relationship in which there is a considerable age difference between you and your partner. The one who is "older and wiser" may act as a guide, exposing the other, through the dynamics of the relationship, to a larger and more realistic view of the world.

Also this influence favors most business and professional relationships, because you now are able to negotiate on the basis of your real needs and self-understanding while appreciating the other person's real needs. And since you understand the need for realism in relationships, whatever you decide on at this time will be mutually profitable.

Creativity under this influence is not stimulated or checked, but it does have greater discipline and rigor. You may be attracted to difficult and exacting techniques or involved in particularly painstaking craft forms. Anything that you make now is likely to be practical or useful.

Jupiter trine Moon: With little effort

10 February 2004 until 26 February 2004: Usually you will feel very good with this influence, quite optimistic and generous. You will be concerned about the welfare of those around you and will want to protect the people you love. At this time you will attract favorable circumstances and resources with little effort, which will seem very pleasant now. But you should not expect this to keep on happening indefinitely. In particular, people may come after you to meet you for some reason, and these people could be quite beneficial to you in business or personal affairs. Regardless of your own sex, you may very well benefit from women during this time.

In some people this influence may stimulate an interest in religious and spiritual thought, but your views would be more strongly concerned with ethics and morality than with a more mystical approach to religion.

At the very least you can expect to feel quite good at this time, and even if nothing tremendous comes out of it, you will have a feeling of satisfaction and of being at peace with yourself.

Jupiter conjunction Saturn: A new freedom

27 February 2004 until 13 March 2004: During this time you will confront your own inhibitions and self-restrictions, as well as the restrictions placed upon you by circumstances. You may wish to break free of them in order to enlarge your scope of activity, so you can go places and do things that you have never been able to do before. On the other hand, you may choose to grow within the structure of restriction in your life, using that very structure to enlarge your life. It can go either way, depending very much upon your temperament. And neither way is better as a general rule. It depends entirely on what is appropriate in terms of your own life.

If you respond by trying to break free, you will begin to feel very restless. Events and circumstances will make it clear that you have neglected much that must be done, and the structures of your life that have held you back will seem intolerable. You can no longer accept barriers such as responsibilities that you have put up with for years, onerous duties or perhaps a built-in fear of breaking away from the established order. Consequently, if you react in this way, this is often a time of breaking away and leaping out into a new freedom. This is often accompanied by a change of job or residence or the breakup of relationships. And however catastrophic these changes seem to others, they are usually quite fortunate and allow everything to work out for the best.

If you respond in the second manner, you will also seek to expand your life and find new freedom, but for a variety of reasons you will not overthrow the structures of your life in order to do so. Instead you will seize every opportunity to build new structures and expand the already existing order. For example, if you are in business, you might use this time to expand in a careful and cautious way. You will not overextend yourself, and whatever you build up now, either in yourself or in the outer world, will be lasting.

Neptune square Moon: Mirages

3 April 2004 until 1 July 2004: Under this influence you may have to contend with rather strange moods and feelings. You may feel that your hunches are extremely accurate, but be careful - the language of your unconscious mind, which is speaking rather strongly to you now, is very different from the language of the conscious mind. Your hunches may mislead you badly.

At the same time, you are more subject to outside influences now. If you are around an angry person or someone under the influence of any other intense feeling, you will feel their energy strongly. For this reason, you should avoid people who are under the influence of strong negative emotions. Your empathy is so great that you will easily become subject to their feelings. And avoid anyone who tries to control your thinking through subtle suggestions and hints, which is very likely to happen, because the thoughts they instill will seem to come from within you - another good reason for avoiding negative people.

There may be other problems in your home or personal life or with emotional relationships. It is extremely important that you try to communicate with those around you as clearly as possible. Misunderstandings are rife under this influence. You may begin a love relationship that is hopelessly unrealistic and yet very fascinating.

Moods and emotions may appear and disappear with great speed. Do not take them too seriously or get too wrapped up in contemplating them, for you will only make mountains out of molehills. Even when you are disappointed about something, do not dwell on it. Your own negative emotions can be very destructive.

Avoid using any type of drug unless it is absolutely necessary and you are under a physician's guidance. Your body is much more sensitive than usual and can quickly build up a dependency pattern, even on drugs that don't usually carry that danger. Digestive problems may also occur under this influence, which is another reason for not confusing your system with unusual substances such as drugs.

posted January 05, 2004 01:40 PM         

She has the right to live whatever style she wants because we are all individuals!!!!

She might go to a PUBlIC forum to ask for help, and then when you express YOUR individuality and style, she'll tell you to mind your own business. (All that gratitude is just so honorable of her...)

She makes me sick to my stomach

But I hang in there, you know?

posted January 05, 2004 02:18 PM         

Cookie, you asked for advice here and 2 lovely people answered you with their heart.Take from it what you wish, after all it is your life and I wish you the best with it. My advice, the answer is within, listen and you will k-now!

juniperb

posted January 05, 2004 04:20 PM         

If you're a paid member, you get all sorts of other very valuable services, but I don't know exactly what. Or what it costs.

Yes, cookie...it's your life indeed. And far be it from me to judge you. I'm not, really. I'm just sharing my view on extra martital affairs, and my view isn't entirely objective, that's true. But, I believe we all do the best we can with what we have, and sometimes that means poking at taboos. You must have some synastry aspects with him that are very compelling.

posted January 05, 2004 04:32 PM         

Even the most spineless specimen of a man is worth holding on to at the bitter end, just for pride's sake. I know that too, no one wants to be left and unloved.

So you are looking for a fight one way or another. My guy turned green when I told him about my encounter which told me he had no backbone. I was very hurt, but as an Aries put it to me, HE LIED to you, it's not your fault, it's only your fault if you continue. So that helped me put things together again.

Even so there will be fireworks around you, remember not to get caught up in the middle since they are not that exciting when they are aimed at you. Remove yourself now and have fun with the girls, or another guy, your married guy won't care.

And isn't that the bottom line? Does he really care for you? The wife could shoot you or run you over or something, Hey these things happen especially if she's Italian, or Latin. Just don't take this guy seriously anymore.
Take Care,

posted January 05, 2004 04:38 PM         

Playful

posted January 05, 2004 06:17 PM         

Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes, remember?

posted January 05, 2004 07:05 PM         

Playful

posted January 05, 2004 08:10 PM         

I think about these things, and you know, marriage is a man-made institution, but love can transcend nearly anything. Sex isn't necessarily love, and love doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex.

We can't always know the reasons for the choices other people make, but we can do our best not to judge. Glass houses, judge not lest ye be judged...

Astro junkie, I so enjoy most of your posts, but remember that you make sexual choices that a majority of people still do not outwardly approve of. You can defend those choices, they are yours, and I would certainly support and defend them along with you. But just remember, the majority disapprove of same-sex unions, and would judge you, many would call you just as, if not more, immoral than those conducting an extra-marital affair. You were a bit brusque and judgemental with cookie, and if I were she, I would have felt defensive too.

Now, I'm not casting stones, just reminding myself to be as objective as possible, it's how I try to live my life. So long as they are consenting adults, I really don't care how or with whom people have sex.

People have been "cheating" since time began. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying It Is.
And I am not trying to minimize the potential hurt that can be part of the fallout. But ideally, I believe LL to be a place of healing, not judging.

But heck, I ain't perfect.

posted January 05, 2004 09:55 PM         

The only difference between you and I on this is that I am not the LEAST bit apologetic about my post. I do not feel your long posts a waste of my time in the least bit, and I'm glad you had a forum in order to get some stuff out that you've been holding in. Thank you for sharing.

Trillian:

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything...

Lioneye:

Don't need anyone to appreciate my strong morals in this case.

Anyone can throw around the "moral" or "judgmental" argument in order to allow for even the most dispicable of acts to go unchallenged, but that wouldn't be MY "reason OR season OR lifetime".

.gloria

posted January 06, 2004 12:16 AM         

Playful

posted January 06, 2004 12:57 AM         

(I doubt she was invited by his wife...)

If you need to rage some more, think of a mind-bending and YES even provocative new topic we can all lock our teeth into. A new kitchen with LOTS of heat baby!

I encourage that immensely! You DO know a little bit about my history right?

love & support,

.gloria

posted January 06, 2004 08:59 AM         

Like the Red Queen, I've believed ever so many impossible things, just before breakfast.

No one minds your posts or their length, PPFM. Sometimes it's helpful for us just to purge.

posted January 06, 2004 11:25 AM         

I certainly don't condone "cheating", I've been on the other side of it. I eventually grew from it, and learned that it's not as personal as it seems. There wasn't anything wrong with me, it was him...and her. He was cheating while I was carrying his child, and then after she was born and I was recovering. He betrayed my trust when I needed him most, and I was powerless to compete because my sexuality was...temporarily comprimised. But, he couldn't resist the temptation of a non-pregnant, unravaged-by-giving-birth, taut and firm sexy body. I couldn't compete with that at the time. That's why it hurt so much. I knew it was all about the state I was in, which I was powerless to change. He was turned off by it, and therefore, easily tempted. Apparently, that's one of the most common events during which an immature/unprincipled man will cheat - around the time of his wife giving birth.

Well, his cheating ended our relationship, and his daughter has grown up (almost...she's 13) without a traditional "family", raised by a single mom. Her dad has always been a part of her life, and he still is, and believe me, he regrets his actions deeply. But, too f'ing bad. There's no way I could give him another chance...he hurt me too deeply. I would have to be crazy to put myself in that situation again. That would be like playing in traffic, getting hit by a bus, recovering, then going back to play in traffic again. STOOPID.

Anyway....I digress. Sorry, didn't mean to start whining about by-gones.
My point was only that, I've been on the "cheatee end of it, so I know where you're coming from PPFM. But, I've resigned myself to the attitude that sometimes another person's evolutionary path involves actions that can indirectly cause hurt to others, and it's not really personal, it's just emotional irresponsibility. You don't mean to forget to check your oil, you're not intentionally trying to seize your engine, but that's what happens. It's not a malicious act at all, just the result of being irresponsible. No harm intended, its just an attitude that it's "all about me" in my world, so "you" don't matter.

The sad part is, a by-product of getting over it, and moving past the pain, is an understanding that I, like PPFM's mom, will probably never fully trust a man who says he loves me ever again. I will always be suspicious, and resigned to the fact that many women have no regard for a man's emotional obligations if they've set their sights on him, and many men are very easily tempted. That's just a fact of life, as far I see it.

posted January 06, 2004 11:42 AM         

My ex was seeing another person about half a year after we were together. He was just "different." Anyhow, I pieced it all together and one day I did something so the other woman "found out" about me ( ). I was ANGRY that day and sent out a lot of energy vibes.

The next day she was fired from her job and her live-in boyfriend moved out within the next 2 weeks.

So . . . be careful of whom you play with

posted January 06, 2004 12:34 PM         

Besides, I have Venus in Scorpio so the vibes just don't seem dangerous to me

And NO, he doesn't have children - I would have never done it if he had.

Which brings me to another question - if you agree to stop discussing the moral elements of our relationship.
We have many aspects in synastry, some of which:

Sun opposite Sun
Venus opposite Venus
His Venus trine my Mars
My Sun conj. his Moon
His Venus conj. my Chiron
My Sun conj. his N Node
My Saturn square his Moon
My Saturn square his Sun
His Moon conj. my Neptune

and many more

So... by any chance do any of these signify anything long-lasting?