posted January 12, 2004 12:40 AM         

Her Scorpio is not the cheating type but he does feel neglected sometimes by her work. I could see where he would flirt or act out in ways to bug her. (once he opened the door to me in his underwear-red speedos) Unfortunately bugging her is easy, as she is a little hyper about his lifestyle. If he gains weight she gets very upset, if he refuses to eat right, she is the same way. She says he is a child, but she treats him like one too. That's what I've seen.

What I have heard is very different. It's really hard to know what's going on with a Taurus moon.
One day she was in a relationship with another man and the next she was in love with the Scorpio and they were getting married. Even though she she said she was through with him. So she is emotional and impulsive and does not think logically around him. They shop compulsively and she gets a little hyper with him.

He is her "possession" and she is very critical of him, but does not like him to leave the house for any reason without checking with her first. He is also on a budget. So these things would drive me crazy even though I side with her most of the time.

Sex to some is a sort of reaching out for affection, or a way to hang out with someone who is forbidden. The forbidden fruit is very tempting to the Scorpio which loves all things "ugly" or not conventional. Taurus loves the conventional beauty, harmony, and domestic life. Scorpios do not, so they have to find a balance where his life does not have to be perfect.

My brother-in-law, dances, performs, sings, and helps raise the two children so he is constantly creating, to be unconventional. He needs that as Scorpio, because Scorpios are unconventional in love, and need to get in touch with the world, "the collective". The Taurus is about the individual.

Scorpios do well in politics and in volunteer organizations, and childrens groups.

Your brother in law may be bored with his life right now, which is frustrating as no one can do anything about it. He will have to find a way out of that himself. Maybe my family's experience can help. Still, I am worried about the Lisa on the horizon, female friends are never good for a Scorpio married male, since he sought out the Taurus mate for a reason. he likes being attached to a woman, so it's not a happy sign for him or the relationship, that' s how I see it.

I am guessing your brother-in-law has a mutable mars? I would be surprised if it's a Scorpio, Aries, 8th or 1st house.

posted March 17, 2004 06:36 AM         

Everytime I have had a gut instinct that I was being cheated on it always is right.
As for others that I have read for, yes they too were correct.

Sometimes it takes this to enable change that is long needed.

Afterall we are never given a challenge without first being given the strength and power to overcome it.

I send her my love and will light a candle for strength for her.

posted March 17, 2004 12:59 PM         

I agree Scorpios are not easy to read, but it's good to be able to trust yourself.

posted March 18, 2004 11:20 PM         

I too have that dynamic working, flirting even though you are in love. So far I've come up with a couple of theories:

1) When you are in love, you become magnetic.

2) When you are in love, it gives you confidence in knowing someone loves you, so you play upon your new sense of confidence and security by transcending your currently known boundaries of the world.

posted March 19, 2004 01:23 PM         

I love to flirt. I've flirted with gay men, with priests...everyone loves to be wanted, whether it is acted upon or not.

Not all flirting is innocent, it's true. But I've been out with a love interest, and have enjoyed certain aspects of him flirting, say with a waitress or something.

We're sexual beings, I think it's natural for us to check out and flirt with people...

posted March 19, 2004 02:04 PM         

I think some act coldly for that reason, or get confused abut women. But I do not try to make men comfortable, I know they are uncomfortable around me sometimes, so I am myself most of the time, act natural. I like everything natural, not forced in anyway, I love natural flirts.

Sometimes I will make a joke, to lighten the mood. If that's flirty then I do that a lot, I love jokes and a good laugh works wonders (sag/1st house). Men love to laugh and there are not many women who can tell a good joke.

I flirt but I like to flirt my own way. once I am flirting I hate to stop though especially if he's married and has been flirting back, I have to back out slowly. I usually refer to food and go away for a while.

Gloria I agree it's about feeling confident in yourself, but I do not like to see the object of my affection flirting with someone else, it makes me sad and hurt, even though I know there's enough to go around. It's my Saturn in Taurus. I can only care a little less.

I am careless flirt, for that reason, I don't get deep, and I don't hurt anyone that way. I refuse to get involved with someone who I flirt with, it's too easy for a man to weaken.

If I want a man for real, I make up my mind before hand and plan to be more intense, anyone know what I mean?

posted March 19, 2004 04:33 PM         

RE: My man flirting...Ok, it really depends on the flirting style...if my man were to lean in close to an attractive lady, say something quietly in her ear with a sly grin on his face, then pull back, they look each other in the eyes, and then both laugh...I would demand to know what he said. If he didn't want tell me, or it sounded like BS, I would probably lose any feelings of affection for him right then and there, and abandon him shortly thereafter.
The thing is, when a man is instigating the flirting, and it's focussed on just one lady, and it seems like they're always a little too close to one another, physically....it's a budding...something.

Accept it, and let him go. A jealous fit is only going to boost his ego. Besides, if I have to resort to spelling it out for him, why that sort of thing isn't cool, he's clearly an idiot, and I'm better off without him.

posted March 19, 2004 06:42 PM         

But I have to do it for other reasons, to see if it's necessary, to see if my love interest is feeling insecure, to see if he's interested in being romantic or just wants to be left alone. My ex liked me to "check in" with him that way, but it would get pretty exhausting sometimes, especially if he wanted to get romantic, I would get worn out from the emotional excitement of flirting.

That's why it's easier to flirt with someone you don't know, there's no emotional intensity. I have to pull back, but with my Libra ex he would get mad because I was too flirty and then ask if I was flirting with others since I was objective. Then if I was too intense he didn't like that either. I think he just liked to argue and flirt, nothing else, not intensity, no consummation, you know?

Gets really nerve wracking after a while,
flirting has to be fast, dangerous, and fun, like car racing, there and back and that's it. There is always break time to discuss. I like to move when I am flirting too, walking, running, jumping, nudging, hugging, I am very physical-
very Mars/1st house.

I like to say NO-Make me! a lot, but that's not everyone's style. I met a Gemini/Taurus moon recently who has no fire at all, but his sun is a singleton, and he loves to flirt that way.

Now I am flirty again, all over the place.

posted March 19, 2004 08:46 PM         

There are degress in flirting. If my date had an exchange like the one you outlined, the intense type, I doubt I'd be too happy about it. It gives you a reason to feel insecure about the committment between the two of you.

posted March 19, 2004 10:23 PM         

When I was younger, I would get jealous over little things like that, and to me, once you start there is no end to it. Emotions cannot be satisfied.

posted March 19, 2004 11:27 PM         

quote:

---

I flirt but I like to flirt my own way. once I am flirting I hate to stop though especially if he's married and has been flirting back, I have to back out slowly. I usually refer to food and go away for a while.

---

I flirt like crazy.. I don't know how NOT to flirt.... Men, women , children, animals....
You may have noticed
See? I winked!!!
I think it's kinda sexy when the man I am with gets hit on..... Especially by me..
I know, I am supposed to be jealous and possessive, and I have my moments, but really... He's going home with me.. I turn him on.. you want to flirt? S'cool....

posted March 20, 2004 04:34 AM         

quote:

---

I've come up with a theory that...if you know that someone is finding you attractive, and you don't be a little flirty with them, you make them feel nervous and vulnerable around you. But if you ARE a little flirty it relaxes them. It's just sending them the signal that says *I like you too, so we're both vulnerable, not just you, so relax.* It levels the playing field for men. You know how fragile those male egos are when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.

---

oh yes, I completely agree with this hypothesis.
I find that flirting comes very naturally to me in so many instances simply because I am acutely aware that conversation flows much more harmoniously act upon this particular theory...

quote:

---

Lioneye said~
When a man flirts with a woman, though...that's not the same dynamics going on, now is it?

sthenri said~
What do they do when a woman flirts and they have to flirt back?
I think some act coldly for that reason, or get confused abut women. But I do not try to make men comfortable, I know they are uncomfortable around me sometimes, so I am myself most of the time, act natural. I like everything natural, not forced in anyway, I love natural flirts.

---

I have also come to this realization. Quite often I notice that no matter what I seem to do, men are uncomfortable around me, for whatever reason, so I tend to just be unabashedly myself. I feel like I am , in my most natrual state, a real bookwormish geeky sort but I often am told it comes across quite flirty.. ..

posted March 20, 2004 12:26 PM         

After spending a night out with my sweetheart at the local tavern, this thread was quite interesting.

I am, however, having difficulty, in my early morning-after, somewhat hung-over state of being, remembering exactly all the points I wanted to make last night.

*scratches head*

At any rate, this thread was useful to me, in addition to sparking some interesting drunken thought spiraling, as giving me a way to bring up a tricky topic with my Hari. I mentioned what lioneye theorized to him and he agreed that he has noticed that dynamic as well, in his interaction with women. We had an interesting discussion about the matter of flirting and how it can sometimes be a grey area in need of definition between two people who are in a relationship in order to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings. I was sort of feeling him out in order to better see how he would react to what I needed to share with him.

All this time since I had that hot tub experience, he still didn't know who this guy was specifically. I sort of had an upper hand, in that, I had seen the woman that he ended up sleeping with but Hari had to work and socialize in this very small town ever wondering just exactly *who* this guy was. I could never bring myself to find the right moment to point him out or whatever and Hari had never pressed the issue. Well.. last night this guy was around alot, since he works at the tavern we were at, so I felt like I owed it to Hari to let him know.

I know that if our roles were reversed, I would want to know. We had a really candid conversation about the whole thing and I feel quite relieved to have that out in the open. whew

ahh.. I could ramble on about this quite abit but I don't want to hijack the thread comeplete.ly. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this very interesting thread. Maybe I'll go ramble on abit on the other thread if anyone is interested in a more detailed update.. later tho.. I've got this ragin hunger calling for some breakfast methinks..

posted March 20, 2004 01:44 PM         

Gloria, it's the dang Leo pride. We don't tolerate being made a fool of or being publically humiliated very well. If we are with a date that does that sort of thing, we think "Geez, everyone else is seeing this too. Gawd, they are probably feeling sorry for me and thinking I'm a bit of a fool for putting up with it!" Then the thought process goes..."How dare he make a fool out of me like this!!! Has no sense of descresion!? Good Gawd! What else would he be capeable of?" *flash of TERROR across the heart* EEK! I'm not sticking around to find out!"...then, to the offender "Uh, you know...I'm just not into this tonight. You look like you're having a great time, so you just go ahead and stay. I'm gonna catcha cab...But I'll call you (...never)"

If he's that much of a half-wit, he won't even make the connection between his flirting and my leaving. If he has any brains at all, he'll pick up on the connection and modify his behavior ASAP,and commence seeking a royal pardon LOL. But he's made it pretty hard for me to fully "be" in the relationship, because he has demonstrated that he's really not worthy.

posted March 20, 2004 02:32 PM         

And you know, some guys do a little flirting just to get a rise out of you. If I ever tell a guy right up front about my preferences, they totally relax. Instead of fearing what would happen if they should look at someone else, they start wondering if I'M looking too. They start wondering WHO of us two, would have greater success "picking someone up".

They don't even get a thrill out of flirting to get a rise, so they either don't do it, or they'll come up to me first and be like, "What do you think of THAT one?"

It's hilarious. But I'm not playing any game at all. So I wouldn't advice doing this unless your heart is truly in it. But it does create that sense of romantic friendship I like so much.

posted March 22, 2004 03:33 PM         

I'm an compulsive flirt. It just happens so naturally that I don't even know how I do it. I don't think it's so much what a person says as it is HOW they say it.

You can say..."I don't have an answer yet, but when I do, I'll let you know...." And it could be received by the listener as "I can't have sex at the moment, but when I'm ready to, I'll be calling YOU", or you could say it in such a way that the listener hears "Could you please leave me the he11 alone!?"...you see, it's all in the delivery.

As for my seemingly hypocritical attitude about flirting (ie, I do it, but don't tolerate my man doing it, at least not in my presense) ...when men flirt, they usually only do it because they'd like to sleep with you, and they're "feeling you out", so to speak. While, when woman flirt, it's not really "results" driven, but more for the amusement factor.

posted March 22, 2004 04:43 PM         

I do it for end results...

hee hee
I KNOW I'm not traditional. One of the reasons I'm not married yet. But the more time goes on, the more I WANT to be married.

Where was it that I read, that when a woman has a strong "eros" influence, she doesn't do well with mother-in-law's, because she comes across as trying to "save" her man from her. When I read that! That's me! I don't do mothers.

Goes without saying, mama's boys get left in the dust.

My sweetie is supposed to be back today/tonight. I'm ACHING so bad. I've got to have an conversation with him ASAP about how I'm not interested in anything that doesn't lead to marriage. Just so if I take off for a while, he'll know why.