posted March 02, 2004 12:52 AM         

So when we get there he looks disappointed to see her. And then he takes me to the side and says "see u don't want to chill with me ....u brought her" and I told "yes I do"

Then he was like lets go in the room and talk? So he tells my friend that we're gonna only be 15 minutes. Then me and him get in this room....

and he says
"can I get a hug now"
I say
"yes".. and motion to hug him
Then as we're hugging he backs me up into the door. So my back is to the door.

Then he looked at me and said...
"can I kiss u"
I was thinking like aww maybe he is a gentleman
So I nodded my head and HE KISSED ME
Then he started getting exact and started begging me to let him do stuff
I was thinking to myself where all this come we just we're kissing thats it
And all of a suuden he started saying "DAMN"
from time time to time
so he would me stuff like can I kiss your neck then I was like "yeah" then he bit my shirt and moved to the other side of my neck and was like "oh please let me.... let me kiss your neck... oh move your hair......damb...oh damb"
Then he kissed me on the lips
Then I kissed him on his neck and he just kept on saying "Damb ....Damb" Can anyone explain to me why he kept saying damn and did he mean by it?
Then he sat in a chair...took my hand and was like come sit on my lap face to face...
and I was like I know he done lost his mind lol and I was about to leave
then he grabbed my hand and was like
"let me kiss your belly".... I was sorta hesitant so then he started begging then he was like "I just want to kiss you right here I won't go any lower"
So I let him kiss my belly
Then he began kissing other parts of my belly then I felt him kissing above the zipper of my jeans as he placed my hand on his head I began rubbing his head
then I felt him tugging at my paints trying to pull them down... so I took my hands off his head to pull my pants up. And he stood up started kissing me on the lips again and then stook his hand in my pants so i had taken his out my then he said my name real softly said "u want me to touch u"? And I said not there. So then we we're kissing again and he had his arms around me when the phone rang (it was my friend). So I broke free of our embrace and searched for my phone..
BUT.... as I was trying to brake free I noticed that mr sneeky had mr. pointy resting on my belly. I was so shocked. I couldn't believe he put that on my belly... so I pulled down my shirt very abruptly and told him "your nasty"
Then he got so offended like
"what do u mean im nasty"
and he also seemed ashamed cause i didn't even feel the thing until i moved he was trying to be sneaky about it
and i srta felt sorry for him so I told him "it's ok" even though i didn't mean it
then he pulled me to him and was holding me close. Thhen I pulled away and was like I gott go now my friend is waiting so I left and as I was walking he followed me smiling and hit me on my butt. I just kepted walking and my friend was like what we're the two of u doing in there loud so he could so I was like we we're talking but when we got back in the car u know I told her what happened. To be honest i felt viloted that night esspecially my friend went to sit in the car and i opened my arms to give him a goodbye hug. 1st off all i wanted toi do was hug him goodbye next thing i know he's trailing me into the bathroom for some more kissing ... then he asked me to open my legs and i was like no so he got mad acted like he wanted to kiss me and quickly ran his hand up my shirt and grabbed one of my breasts! I was so mad that I pulled my shirt down and walked away in disgust and then was then he called me then next day..... im going to tell ya'll about what he said but in the mean time what do u think of all this what do u think he thinks of me?

posted March 02, 2004 02:54 AM         

I'll even repeat the important parts..

There are much sweeter guys than this out there. This seems way too manipulative.

posted March 02, 2004 11:40 AM         

I haven¡¦t been to this site for a long time but I have been reading your story. It is tough love time now...

You are a young woman but a woman just the same. You need to stay away from this man and try to never again put yourself in a position that you cannot get yourself out of. It was very smart and intuitive of you to bring your friend with you However from reading other posts you had been telling ¡¥us¡¦ what a creep he was. Start believing in what you KNOW to be true. You have to let this guy go. PERIOD. I don¡¦t doubt that you love him. As women we have all known that one guy. There seems to always be one. The lesson is to walk away. He is the lesson of ¡¥My man, mate, friend is not going to be like this¡¦. You didn¡¦t do anything ¡¥wrong¡¦ but you have to start taking responsibility for you choose to spend time with. Know your wealth.

posted March 02, 2004 11:42 AM         

Don't cast perals before swine. (Thats the end of my Sunday School lesson

posted March 02, 2004 01:21 PM         

Expect to be date-raped next time.

Sincerely,

.gloria

posted March 02, 2004 04:31 PM         

ineedlove
He has tried to use deceptive tactics to lure you to his house. He won't tell you how he feels and he is acting as though "YOU" are making him come on to you.

From another post I can see he invited you to a parking lot. What in the hell is that about? No one takes anyoner respectable to a parking lot. That is how a hooker is treated.

He also has not committed any of his feelings towards you..he always says he will tell you later. In other words, you are nothing to him but "a hit and run" to use his words.

The last thing, now that you have gone over there, even with a friend, the next time he will try more. He will justify it by saying you made him do it and that you already had been to his house in the past and did things with him.

DO NOT go there again. STAY AWAY FROM THAT PSYCHO. He is trouble and you are worth so much more than to be treated like that.

Take care and please keep us updated.

posted March 02, 2004 04:38 PM         

Please just be careful, there are so many diseases out there and I promise you, people have them and don't tell people. Or you can end up pregnent.

Take a look at this: as soon as he saw y'all come in, and you were with your friend, he was disappointed, instead of happy to see you, you should have known what he wanted then.

You deserve someone to be happy to see you- you are sweet. Just be careful. I kid you not there's a nice world out there and there's another side that is not nice. I've seen alot go down and had a lot of bad things happen that wouldn't have if I had better judgement of character and really thought about it.

And you do know that many people will say anything you want to hear to get sex? If your down, then it's all good, but if you don't want it, just be careful!

I know this is stupid of me, because people told me similar stuff and I had to learn the hard way, I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't say anything to you. If you ever need advice you can email me. I ask people for advice all the time, because I want to beleive people so bad that I can't see the truth.

posted March 02, 2004 06:41 PM         

But I learnt a lesson too...don't put yourself in a situation like that..if I hadn't got angry with him, the ending might have been differnt. I'm more careful now and we are worth so much more than just what will satisfy a guy for one night.

posted March 02, 2004 11:22 PM         

Start saving up about $450... I mean... don't wait until the last minute... start saving now...

That's how much a Rape Kit costs the state to use on victims, only, the state can no longer afford to use them on every victim. So save for your own.

How cool huh? Then you can brag to all your friends about how you own your very first Rape Kit. Be the first on the block. Rock On!

... and then you can sell your stained panties on eBay.... maybe you'll get as much as Monica Lewinsky... (one could only hope...)

posted March 03, 2004 03:11 AM         

quote:

---

Then I kissed him on his neck and he just kept on saying "Damb ....Damb" Can anyone explain to me why he kept saying damn and did he mean by it?

---

I have a few questions...
1) Are you 12 years old? Or just really inexperienced and naive? Either one is fine, I am not attacking you for it. But the reason why Mr. Date Rape is saying "damb" is because he can't believe his dumb luck that someone is foolish enought to tolerate his misogeny, and give him a piece.

2) WHY IS THIS GUY MAKING OUT WITH YOU AT WORK? Does he think he is in a live action version of "8-mile" recreating the Eminem/Brittany Murphy gratitous sex scene?
This guy is a pig.

3)Are you going to allow this to continue? You took his phone call the next day..why? To what purpose? To give him another chance to treat you like this?

Ms. Needlove- you have posted many times with palpable desparate urgency that you need somebody-anybody-right NOW. Why this consuming obsession? Why not take some time, chill out a bit, and fend off these risks you are taking with your personal safety? Is 15 minutes of love worth degredation, possible date-rape, unintended pregnancy, disease, and the manhandling of your body by disrespectful abusers?

Focus on loving yourself, taking care of yourself, elevating your self esteem and self respect. This is not love, and I doubt it will make a satisfying meal to appease your hunger.

posted March 03, 2004 03:10 PM         

quote:

---

Are you 12 years old? Or just really inexperienced and naive? Either one is fine, I am not attacking you for it. But the reason why Mr. Date Rape is saying "damb" is because he can't believe his dumb luck that someone is foolish enought to tolerate his misogeny, and give him a piece.

---

That sounds really insulting to me (since I'm 16) and I think ineedlove will say the same. She wants guidance not an "I told you so!" kind of lecture. I'm sorry but I needed to point that out.

posted March 03, 2004 04:12 PM         

I have to agree with MotherKonFessor (and Astro Junkie for that matter) who both basically said what I was 'afraid' to because I didn't want to sound mean. When you are older (I'm 35) you'll see from this vantage point I Need of Love is putting HERSELF in a dangerous position and she is not thinking. (I Need Love I don't mean to write this like you are not here...You are not thinking).

This topic has been going on for awhile and we are all a bit worried. It is dangerous to 'need' anyone to love, just to feel what? Whole? You have to do that for yourself so you can be a partner in a relationship...not an obligation. Or like in this case you put yourself in a position with someone who will not love you, will hurt you and then leave.

My Grandmother used to say 'The Truth is the truth, whether you believe it or not'

In this case the guy is a CREEP! There is a good chance if given the opportunity he will not stop. Most women who go 'toe to toe' with a man are gonna lose that fight. When you look at this thread and the past one there seems to be the agreement, HE is a danger but I Need Love, needs to grow up a bit.

I Need Love. You need to look within and see what the problem is and work through. There are a lot of people on this board willing to help you see what may be going on inside of you and it may help us see what is happening inside of us too.

BUT You have to take responsibility for your choices. I someone is treating you badly you have to say for yourself..."I am not the one who will put up with this!"
That's just my take.

StarLover this is not meant to come down on you. It¡¦s just that this is serious and a nip on the ear from Momma Wolf is what a pup needs¡K

Love,
Amber
Cypress
Volare

posted March 03, 2004 05:03 PM         

Perhaps being in the same age bracket, you are defending her. That's cool- but realize that you may also not have the experience to correctly assess this little drama.

There is no shame in being young, or inexperienced in the ways of sexual relationships- AS I STATED. The point is to experience these things- but hopefully, in a safe and respectful environment. This is NOT that kind of scenario.

As for the point of being "nice" I cannot abide being "nice" in a case like this, for it can be construed as permission, or condoning whats's going on. In my personal vision, I cannot, nor will not, condone this scenario- and if I must be harsh to get my point across, better hurt feelings than a date rape, eh?

This kind of minute play by play of events is usually found in the speech of the very young, or insecure...which is why I asked my questions. What I am trying to determine, gathered with information from this post and Ms. Needlove's other posts, is a few things like the following....does she have no one who will answer her questions about sexuality and what boys do, which is why she gives us a play-by-play so we can help her?

Is she seeking attention thru sexual exploits because of lack of attention and love from family, friends, etc? Is this why she needs love so badly? Or is it just raging hormones?

I believe all these things must be taken into account if we can truly help this girl, as best we can in the impersonal world of the internet. Girls do not have much societal support when it comes to sexuality and self issues, and its a tragedy in our communities. StarLover, you may have benefits that this girl does not- family, an inherent sense of self esteem, solid wise friends. Everyone is different, even at the same ages.

~climbs off soapbox~

And pix- thanks for clarifying what seemed obtuse in my original post...you spoke the words I should have said!

posted March 03, 2004 11:00 PM         

about 8 hours past and he didn't call

So I called him!

He said: Wassup
I said: Hey Cedrick wassup r u busy?
He said: no not really I'm at work but wassup?
I said: Cedrick... I don't mean to waste your time or anything, but I know what your intentions are of me and I need someone who is gonna care about me. Not somebody who is only out for what I have to "offer" them. And u already know what type of girl I'am.
He said: That's cool.
:::Then without excusing himself, he starts talking to one of his guy friends cursing and all while we're still on the phone and I could hear:::
Then he says: I'll call u after I get off work. ~and he never called~

We haven't spoke on the phone since Feb. 16th and this is now March the 3rd.

I did see him at the job on Wednesday the 18th of February. I wouldn't have went back to that job (being that it is a volunteer activity of mine), but I promised the children I would bring some goodies for them. So I had to keep my word.

When I saw him I acted as if nothing happened
he smiled when he saw me
I smiled back
he put his hand out to shake mine
and I shaked his hand back
but kept it moving
*
Then later that day I was in the gym playing with kids .... the kids and I we're doing a dance step...and I noticed him staring at me. I didn't act like I saw him infact I sort of ignored him. The children and I we're having fun playing jump rope and everything. I'm not going to let him stop me from volunteering and helping the betterment of the children. Me being there makes the children happy so he can stare if he wants to......let him STARE...but he is not going to deter me from my volunteer activities!!!
*
So anyway some of the children that didn't get any of the goodies I brought for them... came up to me and asked me for some.... and as I was on my way to give them some goodies.... another child came up to me and and was talking to me so I stopped walking to listen to the little child..... then GUESS WHO WALKS UP TO ME!!!

U guested it... Mr. SNEAKY *HIMSELF*! ....
So he walks up and playfully tries to knock the jumprope out of my hand.
*
So I looked at him ..right in the eyes.
*
And when I looked him in the eyes.. he looked away.. he looked shy like he wanted to say something to me.... almost as if he was embarrassed. But HE SAID NOTHING (AND NEITHER DID I).... HE JUST STOOD THERE....
*
The other kids who wanted their goodies we're growing impatient and was telling me to come on.... and I left him standing there looking stupid lol....or feeling sad either or ..I don't know but I left him there in the gym...and I never returned to that gym that day ... because I was so busy doing other fun things with the kids like arts and crafts, playing games etc.... we said nothing more to each other... since that day!

What do ya'll think of this?
Thank u everyone!!!!
U are appreciated!!!

posted March 03, 2004 11:11 PM         

That's what I think!

STAY THE BLEEP AWAY FROM HIM!!!

Enough said.

Lol, for the first time, this is a question that even I don't need to ponder at all, lol.

posted March 04, 2004 02:13 AM         

This sounds like the makings of a Maury Povich Show.