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Author Topic:   Sag woman/Aqua man...help!
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 16, 2004 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I know much has been written already about Aquarian men, but specifically, how are a Sag female (me) and Aquarius male together?
We just met over a month ago and this man confuses me. At first, he comes across as fairly straightforward...but I'm thinking, yeah, right, the more I think about it. He one minute will seem interested in me on a romantic level, and then switch gears and come across from a friendship angle

Right from the start he chased me like gangbusters, but with my track record with men, told him I wanted to take it really slow, which for him means going 99.9 miles an hour instead of 100, I'm finding...lol. Don't get me wrong, of course I like it, but he is confusing.

Then to top it all off, in the course of a dinner conversation he has to tell me about all of his women 'friends', which includes mostly his exes...(ex-wife and ex loves) and how important they are, and in fact, even that they're even better friends now. I'm thinking....oh great, am I going to be on this 'best friends' list of yours too? I realize that for an Aquarian, friends mean more than anything, but has anyone experienced this and how did they handle it?

To make it even more confusing, he comments about making plans to do things together during the upcoming months when the weather is nicer here in the Portland area, but he no sooner says it and seems to back-pedal when I offer encouragement. Are Aquarian men commitment-phobes? Do they just like to play with your mind? He's certainly interesting, and someone who is also interested in a person. We understand each other communication-wise very well and have a similar approach and outlook on many things...it's kind of eerie, but he almost seems like a male counterpart of myself...having said all this...

Here is our birth information...I do not have his time of birth, but do know he was born in Agra, India...so getting his ascendant is difficult. Any and all insight into this man is very, I repeat, very much appreciated...

Me: December 4, 1959 Redwood City, CA 6:36a
Him: February 17, 1959, Agra, India, Time:?

Please look at our charts and let me know what you see...I know it's limited without his birth time. Thank you!


help!!

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted April 16, 2004 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Blue Topaz -

Well - I didn't have time to look up anything on your charts, I'm just going by what you wrote...

Aquarius guys and Sag girls have a few things in common. They both have a vision for the world. He desperately wants to understand your vision, and he's goofing up a lot. You really have to have a bit of "hippie" in you for it to work out.

There's no way to contain them. (Electricity)

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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...

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lioneye68
Knowflake

Posts: 3348
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 16, 2004 02:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
Hullo, Bluetopaz..
You can set up a free account at Astro.com and do charts for yourself until your heart's content, my friend. It even gives you a summery that you can print out, which shows all the aspects. *it's an adobe document, btw.

http://www.astro.com/cgi/awd.cgi?lang=e&cid=w0wfileQRIFRs-u1068831568&act=sellog

It's true, without the birth time it's quite limited, because we can't figure out what his rising sign is. I suspect it could be Sagittarius...which would explain why he seems like a male version of you, or it could be Gemini, which would explain the 99.9 miles an hour thing, as well as the evasiveness. (Gemini shares this quality with Pisces, another mutable sign...Saggie is more likely to just go with it and enthusiastically agree, then let you down later, on the day it was planned for...Virgo is probably the one mutable sign that is pretty good with follow-through, but not as likely to propose the grand schemes...oops digressing)

Aquarians are wryly said to have Xerox fluid running through their veins instead of blood, or they are somtimes compared to Spock, the Vulcan from Star Trek, so, needless to say, they're not really known for being ardent, romantic, lovers. If that's what you're after, go for a Leo. And, yeah, they do tend to expect their mate to understand how very important their freinds are, and their "Save the Himalayian Armadillo" committee meetings, and their scientific experiments to prove their theory of the quark, and how it relates to oxidization in base metal, or...whatever obscure thing is driving them at the moment. They're the kind that, if their spouse finally just up and leaves them after years of alternating neglect and bizaarness, they don't even notice for a week. Sex is not high on their priority list, so when he says these ladies are just his friends, he's probably telling you the truth. But, if you don't expect a doting, gushing, dreamy eyed casanova who's around more often than not, you'll fair pretty well with an Aquarius.

My best freind is an Aqua, and she has so much trouble with relationships because, first of all she tends to attract Scorpios, yet, she really can be neglectful of her mate. Nuff said. Enter control type problems, stage left.

How many ex's does this guy have? And what caused the breakup in most cases? Apathy?

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lioneye68
Knowflake

Posts: 3348
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 18, 2004 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
Here's a little tid-bit of interesting trivia for you...Aquarians marry other Aquarians more than any other sign.

PS. I think Sagittarius can be a bit neglectful of their mates as well, so this may actually be a pretty good pairing. Neithor sign can stand feeling fenced in, nor would eithor one try to fence their mate in. Sagittarius is more passionate though, being that it's fire sign and all, so if anyone were to stray in this pairing, it's more likely to be the Saggie, not the Aqua.

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 20, 2004 12:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you Lioneye, yes, I'm experiencing the Aquarius' slippery nature now. One minute he has all kinds of plans for us to do things together, and later on in the day, prefaces everything with 'if'...why say it at all then?

We have an incredibly good time together, but am afraid that that's all it is - a good time and am thinking he prefers bachelorhood and the freedom it brings. I like my freedom, but also the stability that a good, loving relationship brings, being free to be myself within that relationship. Hmmmm, I guess time will tell with this guy...

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted April 20, 2004 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
Maybe he's the type that likes to fall in love slowly. Maybe he prefers to engage in a journey with you, instead of a pre-fabricated vision of a relationship.

I know when I'm reading these interpretations of aspects having to do with Uranus in relationships, it's always like, "for this to work you have to be willing to let the relationship define itself"

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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...

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lioneye68
Knowflake

Posts: 3348
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 20, 2004 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
bluetopaz, maybe you and starflower should talk amongst yourselves

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 20, 2004 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I think you're right...I saw your post in her topic. We could definitely share notes, I am wanting to get inside an Aqua MAN's mind right now...

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Eleanore
Knowflake

Posts: 509
From: North Carolina
Registered: Aug 2003

posted April 21, 2004 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eleanore     Edit/Delete Message
I'm a Sagittarius and my husband is an Aquarius. From my experience, yes they like to keep you guessing ... and they also like to be kept guessing in return. We were friends for quite a while before we got involved. When we did finally hook-up, we jumped in full speed ahead although we were both pretty marriage-shy ... you know, the whole being fenced in/irrational fear thing. Then, when I finally realized that I did want to be with him, I had to wait and grit my teeth a little while he went over all his past relationships and analyzed them ... and then made sure he didn't want to stray to anyone new. Patience, I can't stress the importance of patience. Finally, one day he just out and popped the question, right out of his good old electric blue. He caught my so much by surprise that I actually didn't respond immediately and just sat there with a gaping mouth, lol. A Sag being startled to speechlessness is quite a rarity.
Oh, and yes, we are each other's best friends ... but my ascendant is in Aquarius, so I really like it that way. We have a very open and directly communicative kind of relationship and, even if we both tend to blurt things out to each other at times, we always respect each other's thoughts and feelings. Plus, he's got an excellent sense of the ridiculous which, when mixed with my sense of silliness, is quite entertaining ... for us, at least.

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JustAmanda
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Posts: 301
From:
Registered: Jan 2003

posted April 26, 2004 08:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda     Edit/Delete Message
Aww..Eleanore...yours is a sweet, sweet love story!!!

I had high hopes of being with an Aquarian one day...but am with a Leo instead...I'm a Sag too...

And yes, the Aqua man confused me to death...I'm much better paired with a Leo..but that is just me.

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Eleanore
Knowflake

Posts: 509
From: North Carolina
Registered: Aug 2003

posted April 26, 2004 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eleanore     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks JustAmanda! That's very kind of you. The confusion is well understood, lol, but I am very glad you did find a nice big Lion to love and care for you and vice versa. I think Leos are absolutely wonderful, though I know that we are not necessarily "relationship-capable" together from experience. C'est la vie! And may you always be truly Happy and Loved!

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted June 08, 2004 01:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
Mr Aquarius and I have been together now for over 2 months...and I am even more baffled than I was when I first started this thread. He seems to be distant lately and I know there isn't another woman he's interested in, so my question is: Why does he act so distant? I've asked him and even he cannot come up with an answer.

Even when we have had conversations about these things between us, he has told me that he is in love with me, but his lack of affection or nit-pickyness confuses me.

Is it a matter of too much, too soon for an Aqua man but he cannot admit it? He asked me to stay here with him and I have been pretty much living here for the past 7-8 weeks. I never initiated this and when I have mentioned going to my place to work on a project he looks panicked and asks me if I am coming back (what's with that?) because he says he can't be more than 2 minutes away from me and not to go. Yet, lately he acts as though I am either not there, or he greets me with a very casual aloofness one would greet someone passing on the street.

At times it seems as if he likes to stir up crap and mentions other women in a casual way, yet wants me to be aware that they are out there. I really am not understanding this man right now.

He left for the week and is across the country in Atlanta and South Carolina on business until late Friday. I told him over this past weekend that I will give him the space he needs if this relationship is tieing him down. He looked panic-stricken, his face turned white, truly looked shocked beyond belief and said he loves me and starts kissing me, showing affection and attention that I've been telling him over the past weeks that was lacking. He called me last night from Atlanta (it was 1230a there) and told me he loves me twice, asked me about my day and wanted in detail what I did, acting like nothing had ever been wrong between us. Today, no word from him, nada, nothing.

So what gives? Is he confused? Wanting his space but doesn't know how to say it? I am living in his home while he is 3,000 miles away...Any suggestions about how to handle this because I am completely out of ideas. Is even more patience needed at this point and should I drop the subject completely with him?

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 08, 2004 09:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
I don't blame you for being confused. If you really have a more psychological concern, in terms of a pattern in relationships with you, check out a really good book, "If Men Could Talk:..." by Alon Gratch. If he has any of those major communication problems with women, this book will save you a lot of grief. Some men cannot be changed.

Aquarius men sometimes go through phases where they become a total baby, almost like a prima donna.

His telling you he loves you and kissing you is a good sign. But him saying he cannot stand to be away from you for 2 minutes is NOT - (unless he's just trying to sound romantic).

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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted June 08, 2004 11:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
He was just trying to sound romantic...he's not the crazy jealous type, although he's quick to appear in the picture and doesn't like it one bit if a man shows an inkling of interest in me...

I'm needing suggestions on how to deal with him in a really effective way for our relationship to succeed.

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 08, 2004 12:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
... I hear you ... but here we go again ... you say he gets upset if someone else shows an inkling of interest in you? ...

I'm all for trying to make a relationship work, but you have to build it on a sold foundation. You're talking to someone who is 42 and still hasn't gotten it right, ok? So who am I to say? It seems the challenging romantic guys (the ones I fall for) cannot be domesticated. And I've successfully raised so many different wild animals in my life. Go figure.

.gloria

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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 1590
From: New England US
Registered: May 2003

posted June 14, 2004 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
I know two Aqua men who have both been married to Saggie women and one is dating another Sag, they just love Sag women! But they can't understand why they don't hear from their Sags sometimes. I know why, it's because Aquas like to talk and never go anywhere with it. This frustrates intellectual Sag. To an Aqua, talk is fun, the cuddling is second to talk.

But Aqua men fall head over heels with Sag women more than any other sign, no doubt about it. Aquas like that they can understand her.

Eventually the Sag woman needs more constant cuddling and never knows if she's going to get it and will go with a more cuddly companion, Libra, Scorpio, Virgo, sometimes Aries.

The Sag women I know marry more grounded types, Libras with lots of Virgo, Virgos or Scorpios.
Same for Sag men I know. In the end the Sag women are always afraid of committing to someone who is not faithful and grounded. They need the respect of the outer world being a masculine sign.

Freedom oriented they are, but only one can wear the pants in the family. Sag women like to be the one to set the pace, a framework is necessary and Aquas want to always constant communication about subjects without actually agreeing because that would be boring. They have to be right.

This is not agreeable to the Sag woman who prefers some stability and home life setup so she can experience life. Children are almost always important to a Sag woman or man too and Aquas don't seem to procreate as much as other signs.

Aquas do well in nonconventional relationships which threaten the Sag's peace of mind.

I do not know any marriages that have lasted with this setup, I'm sorry to say, but they make great friends.

And YES, Aquas love their ex's, they talk to them daily. It's tough on this Taurus Sun to deal with that kind of attitude I know. I have realized that Aquas just like to talk and it's all about the conversation and they don't feel it like the ex's do. So if you love the guy and are the one cuddling him it wouldn't occur to him to go elsewhere unless curious or single.

I had the same conversation once with an Aqua, "I have an ex I talk to all the time, problem?" Very confusing, but he meant talk, that's all.

If you are living with him, I would get some space, nothing is more confusing that trying to figure out a relationship while living with that person. Until you are committed in your mind it's best to meditate separately.

Natasha
Taurus

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 14, 2004 07:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
I think Sag and Pisces go well too. One couple I know, she's Sag Cap/Moon and he's Pisces Leo/Moon.

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 19
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004

posted June 15, 2004 02:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Natasha...: ) you have me spelled out pretty well in your last post...my Aqua man I am finding loves to just stir up s**t, just for the sake of it, and also loves to contradict, also just for the fun of it...I'm finding that it's easier to just detach and not succumb to his mind play...he just likes to rant and, yes as you mentioned...talk for the sake of talking...he just loves to tell you what you want to hear, particularly if he's after something...so I don't take him too seriously. I have found that if I just listen to his 'talk' and press forward, acting cheery and upbeat, he doesn't know what's going on and I can see the little question mark in his eyes, wondering...I love to keep him wondering : )

One thing I have found, is that if I detach, it keeps him guessing and buzzing around me like a bee around honey...: )...I am also finding that he loves to pick your brain but doesn't like anyone picking his...

It's comforting to hear that Aquas fall in love with Sag women more often...

I am not one to play games, but so long as I continue to be myself and talk talk talk as much as he does and force a debate with him, it definitely sparks his interest.

He confused me at first so much, but by staying with it, have found so many rewards.

He's hooked, that much I know : )

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astro junkie
Knowflake

Posts: 2582
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 15, 2004 03:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
You definately found the #1 weapon ... keep the Aqua boys guessing ...

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