posted June 28, 2004 04:39 PM         

Sometimes it's funny, because I'll be writing about some a-hole and everyone else is thinking the same thing. None of us are immune. But as for I guess, nit picky things, they can become total deal breakers for me. And I don't mean in a week or so, I mean the very instant the "offense" occurred.

I've been guilty of literally kicking a few out of bed on that "first night". I don't mean, hanging out for a while afterwards, I mean stopping right then and there and telling him to put on his clothes, and then to leave. And then I never speak to them again.

And that pretty much goes for any other type of behavior which flicks a switch in me.

This may sound cruel, but I don't know... I think it's better sometimes to do it that way, in a very detached manner so there is no time for insecurities. They just chalk it up to another psycho bittch , and they get the benefit of the doubt.

For me, you allow the drama to take over once you start to drag each other down.

posted June 28, 2004 05:06 PM         

Pidua, I am very happy for you and with you, about Mr. Taurus. He must be amazed at how smart you are, and he knows he's lucky. I have a Sag cousin, very independent, and honest but sweet and friendly, who asked me what I thought of Yahoo Personals, I told her how picky you are, and all about how much you like Mr. Taurus. She is happy to hear that, since she has the sun, moon and venus in Sag.

posted June 29, 2004 03:19 PM         

Thanks for the compliment. I must concede though that Mr. Taurus is extremely intelligent - and I believe he is much smarter than me. He has this incredible native intelligence. His frustration with me just comes in the form of the 50 million questions I will rapid fire in about a 2 minute span.

Astro,

I can see your point about getting rid of the people that automatically do something that you find to be less that desirable. I am that way in a sense, meaning I will cut the cord quickly if someone does something rather annoying. My Virgo rising has many pet peeves such as: eating loud or letting the fork touch the teeth, picking ones nose, letting out gas (LOL), someone that makes too many noises period - or is one of those hyper spazzes that bounces around the place all the time..etc.. when I see someone displaying those traits, no matter how much I like them, I find myself getting repulsed. LOL..

In bed, if I had finally gotten to the point where I am having sex with someone, well, they had better have some great moves - because nothing spoils a relationship like mediocre or icky sex. Usually I can tell if the act will be bad or not - depending on the person, but others times I have been wrong. Heck, I never thought in a million years my ex-bf the Pisces would be so wishy washy in bed or that the Virgo would just not care about sex.

posted June 30, 2004 01:10 PM         

I wrote a few letters to the Gemini and finally replied to an email he sent where he asked if I was trying to complicate things between us? I wrote a really nasty email but then didn't send it. I thought about how Pidua and Gloria would handle this. I started out very Pidua. Hmmm, it's interesting that you said that. Then I tore apart everything he wrote.

In the end I was cool and calm, and cut the cord, I also said I would be mailing another letter and he could wait for it to arrive for reasons.
I was suprised to get another email from him in which he was very happy. He said he was so happy I felt that way! He said that he wanted to be reminded of how much he needs me and wanted to know if he could see me today because he couldn't wait. So I thought about it and said okay. As long as we do something relaxing, i.e. get a facial and a massage or go the park or country.

He agreed. He also wanted to know if it was okay to buy me gifts? Hmmmm..I thought about what you two would say..you would probably say sure so I said okay but no lingerie because I have plenty already and I have him a list of things I like. I know the ploy but I am happy he asked first since he admitted he was about to buy me lingerie.

So he is coming over, I know it's also because there is a jazz festival in town, I'm not clueless. But we have to do things I like to do. Plus I felt that if I'm going to tell him how I feel, I have to do it in person otherwise I will be too upset.

I printed out what Gloria posted about Taurus moons so he could read it, and my letter. It's pretty harsh. It says that he is incapable of real love, which is work, and I didn't want his kindness. He treats me like he is testing me to see if I break, when he has no intention of committing. I think he is too good at saying the right things.

We'll see how he reacts, but I can handle him in person, he already knows sex is out of the question when he's here and he is still coming up, and it's a 4 hour drive. I hope I made the right decision.

posted June 30, 2004 01:22 PM         

I think you made an excellent decision. You let him know what was on your mind, gave him a list and he had to go from there. He had been testing you and NOW he knows how far he can push you. He WAS testing your limits and you have let them be known.

Yes, I would let a guy buy me gifts as long as he knew that I could not be bought.

Getting him on your turf after setting things semi-straight was very mature and logical. Now you both can address the issues and then decide where to go from there.

I something thing Sagittarian's and Gemini's both need some structure or guidelines within a relationship. If the lines are blurred or vague - we get confused. I used to tell Mr. Leo - "Just give me the rules of this game and I can play, but if you keep changing them or make them up as we go, you are giving me the freedom to do as I please because I am not breaking any rules".

I wish you lots of luck and my thoughts are with you.

Lots of Love

posted June 30, 2004 01:43 PM         

OK - here comes my Virgo Venus again ...

He actually asked you if you are trying to complicate things? (deal breaker)...

And telling you he needs to be reminded of how much he "needs" you? (deal breaker)...

posted June 30, 2004 04:53 PM         

Yeah I did get really flustered at both comments and I wrote in detail what I thought about that in my letter.

Not very pretty stuff, and he has to read it. I have somehow given him the impression that I don't want a committed relationship. I will have to make plain what I need and then he can think about it.

Now that I am secure in what I want I feel I can create the life I want with or without him. It's just an option, I try not to get too hung up on the future. I also made some other decisions regarding housing, and what I want in the future.

I am funny in that I really like guests though, I remembered that today so I need to invite more people over when he's not around. I am just good at showing off my home.

posted July 07, 2004 03:06 PM         

I just got back into town. How are things going with the Gemini? Did you all get a chance to talk?

I hope all is well

posted July 07, 2004 07:36 PM         

I prefer Neptune transits, where I just want to sleep to Pluto transits because I get sadder, angrier and more sensually charged up during the Pluto time and it has longer lasting consequences.

I was the one who was flirting with the Gemini so much so I can't surpised?? After my hormones calmed down, I let him take some photos of me, he is a photographer, and we talked about the letter. He didn't actually read it until he left but he wasn't happy. He had a few extra drinks and we didn't talk much the last night. But then he has a long 7 hour drive ahead of him. I think he was disturbed a little by our distance as well.

I told him we would go camping next time as we spent a lot of time doing nightlife things when we was here and he is a cuddly, stay at home with my woman kind of guy, which was a shock to me. Apparently, with a Venus in Cancer, Mercury in the 4th, Moon in the 2nd, and Pisces rising, all he really craves in life is someone around who cares, and a good meal. He doesn't need to go out at all. I kind of ran him ragged.

After the photos I felt I trusted him more, and so I gave him more photos of me and he seemed to be very happy. I told him I'd do almost anything for him at that moment and so you know how that ended up:>

That was good, not too hasty, but then the next time my monthly visitor came and he was a little frustrated. He probably wondered why I didn't plan better but he wanted to be here during the festivals. So..we decided to talk more every week, at a specified time and do more things that are not so indoors, for me, and do things that he likes to do-watch movies, cuddle up-for him.

We will go camping sometime soon, if he is really unhappy he will tell me, but my main fantasies are always security driven since I have a Taurus sun and Cancer moon, it's all about security for me. We also agreed to tell each other if we flirt with someone else to keep us on track and already he told me about a video store clerk, that had me a little sore but I kept to my part of the bargain.

When he is mad I notice he flirts more or at least makes it obvious that he is noticing other women, I don't know if it's because he is mad but I notice a definite crusty sort of attitude at the same time, like to say, hey two can play at that game. I always watch people and comment openly and I didn't know that bothered him.

In all, I would say Geminis with Pisces risings are not at all like typical Geminis. Although I have been told that they have problems with anger and warned, I haven't seen a real problem unless of course I want something from him and won't verbalize what it is. I can be according to him "prickly". My Venus in Aries get prickly when bored. He is big on PDA, but as usual he likes to give not receive, that pretty much sums up his love style too. It's hard to get used to but I won't allow it for too long because my ex would do that and then get resentful eventually.

Apparently I am not big on initiating things, typical Taurus that I am and I know I have to be more clear-rather than hugging I have to say something like, you are getting lucky tonight, or here's a hug, now I want to be left alone. I am used to just hugging and walking away, it's my way of saying hello, we have different styles.

I also know he is scared sometimes because he puts his head on my chest and won't look at me for a minute, it's all so fast for him. He is afraid of my strong emotions he said, because he wants a woman who is stable. I am stable, I said, more stable than anyone. I'm just not that demanding, the kind of woman you are used to. I imagine his ex was very demanding sexually and according to him he' d have to avoid her because he no longer found her attractive. She wasn't a hugger, more like, hug me and let's go straight to bed.

So I am learning more and more about him, and I am sure it will take a long time. I try not to think about all my basic security being lost, it's clear he wants something long term so I will keep him to that, I try not to hear code words.

I love how he is truly a talented photographer for a change, and I love being around someone who is intelligent and good at what he does. But I have to be sure not to exploit his talents for mine too.

One thing, he's not much into dancing in public, but he can dance in private so that's a plus. My Venus in Aries, Pluto ruled moon, all say, love em and leave em, to better assert myself and make sure I'm protected. I need to tap into some sort of positive place where I am spending energy on a relationshp that is worthwhile, with potential. Instead of blowing it and I have to see clearly to make sure this one has that potential. So far it does, but I do get impatient for either the start or end, I have given him several gifts wine glases, photos, but I have received only two from him.

Still he takes me everywhere and he's not cheap.

I am staying secure in that he clearly wants to be with me, but I can't have any more temper tantrums, and my Mars/1st house, and Venus in Aries upset his Taurus Moon, Mercury and Mars sometimes I know.

He does drink a lot of wine that I am not used to, but I suppose that's his business, he gets more flirty with me of course and I am not happy he needs to loosen up around me but again I can't nag him. He drinks wine with dinner and about a six pack on the weekend...but only drink one drink at dinner on the weekends..time will tell.

He did say he gets angry when I call him my "friend", I asked if he wanted to be called boyfriend and he said yes of course. He thought I was using the word friend to avoid anything negative so that I could have it both ways, calling him friend when I was angry and it made him feel insecure. So he is officially my boyfriend right now. It feels strange sometimes but he is either very serious or needs to feel secure and be a boyfriend rather than a friend.

Isn't it strange how uncomfortable it can make a man to be a friend? And to watch a woman have male friends? But he's not really good at being in love? I think love for him is just feeling needed. He told me to rely on him more. If I have male friends he's not happy at all, especially if I talk to them behind closed doors, so I am not imagining that he gets jealous. I try not to play on his insecurities without realizing it.

Still Pisces rising is terrible at dealing with anger in a straightforward way.

Example my Cancer rising friend is angry at me, instead of saying so, he goes into how much his car insurance is and little mine is, as a comparison. Its' clear he's angry at me, and that's the only thing he can say. The Gemini will also go on rants when he's angry without trying to upset me which gets him more emotional. I am getting better at noticing when he needs pampering.

posted July 08, 2004 12:10 AM         

May I comment? After reading your last post on Gemini, I too understand him a little more. He and you have potential astrologically. Taurus and Gemini's go well together, and he has a Taurus Moon?

I'm thinking he may be a really deep person, but may show evidence of being passive aggressive when something is bothering him. That's a turn off to me, but we've already established that my Venus in Virgo is particular.

I don't play games, ever. So that he would look around at other women is compulsive behavior. Almost as if he is mostly a man who wants security and stability, but then his Mercurial Gemini electricity causes him to compulsively do something, all in the name of searching for comfort out there in the world. It's like he's lost in a way.

I do know what you mean about him acting a certain way about sex because of his past relationship. I've dealt with stuff like that. Since I only date younger guys, some have this fear of being engulfed by a woman because they may have been literally SEDUCED by an older woman when they were very young.

Sometimes I can see where they are reliving that moment with me, expecting me to be the older aggresive seducer. And when I don't they begin to learn new ways to interact.

As for being friends, that is crucial for me. My parents were never friends, and it was a tremendous spoiler. I've been in repressed relationships with a lot of jealousy, drama and possessiveness, and it makes me feel claustrophobic, maybe because I'm an Air Sign, afterall.

Be careful not to get trapped in an emotional web leading to a dead end and lots of hurt. I'm sincerely concerned about you, enjoy reading what you wish to share, and hope you consider me a friend since you have been so with me.

Here's to Cancer Moon's...

.gloria * libra

posted July 08, 2004 12:23 PM         

Also I realize that if I found someone else who touched me on a deeper level, who was more like me than I wouldn't ignore that person. We all need friends after all, and I won't be limited that way. I'd never let a man limit my friendships in any way ever again, I learned my lesson there.

Those things alone may distance him from me. Compatibility is always the challenge, differences are exciting but time will tell if we are truly the same in basic ways, I will be watching for that and I don't intend to put up with mood swings or low self esteem the signs that I am in a dead end relationship, one where I am putting in too much energy at the expense of work and friends.

My work is very important to me this month, and basic compatibility in friendship is an important goal, not just like interests. I am trying to get away from superficial people, but the Gemini is certainly not the typical Gemini and I am surprised. He is deeper than most and his poetry is still great.

I suppose when i do not have respect for his work, I will not receive the positive reassurance and self esteem that I need. I make sure to check in with myself often on that.

If you like I can post a poem of his,

"Love makes you want to stand up straight
and fight for what's right"
Jean Cocteau French poet