posted July 19, 2004 12:20 PM         

Love is great for many things, but it's not going to fix a bad relationship. Love for a child is not unconditional, we all expect certain things from that child, and from our parents.

There is a strong tendency towards unconditional love in women and it's a little unhealthy. At all times we must have a benefit in our lives from knowing someone that is not based on an uncertain future.

Make sure you have the fundamentals, a few good people who love you, that's all you need.

posted July 19, 2004 12:45 PM         

I believe the closest point to unconditional love someone could come to is the love for their child. Yes, you expect things from them but if they don't live up to your expectations, you still love them.

Unconditional love is about loving all aspects of a person. The good the bad and the ugly. We all have one of these sides. No one is perfect. And who's to say someone else has to live up to your expectations. We all have different expectations and viewpoints on everything, this does not mean anyone else is wrong, that doesnt fit in with your expectations.
You love them for everything they are - unconditionally. This does not mean you let them abuse you - it is much different.

quote:

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Love asks that you give up judgment, fear, resentment, shame, hurt, and expectation of love returned. Love asks that you forgive all harm done. This does not mean that you forget harm done or continue to place yourself in harm's way. Setting healthy boundaries is good. It means that you must claim full responsibility for your experience. You must give up seeing yourself as a victim and see yourself as a divine being worthy of great love. Love commands of us that we simply give of our hearts freely and unconditionally....

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posted July 24, 2004 07:12 PM         

When Virgos get resentful, nothing short of clearing the air will do. Virgos bottle up their emotions so tightly they have indefinite shelflife, and they won't go away unless they're expressed or channeled in someway. Worse yet, Virgos will suffer physically when their emotional state is so tense and repressed. You're probably feeling very powerless in this situation, and your Virgo influences no doubt feel that this imbalance of power is unjust. At some point you'll need to stand up for yourself.

posted July 24, 2004 07:55 PM         

Being assertive means separating what you say from your feelings, so instead of talking about what you feel when you are angry, talk about what you feel-instead of thinking about it first-when you are not angry. Over a normal day, in a moment where nothing much is happening, a mundane, laundry room is a good place to get assertive, and it never happens out of the blue.

Nobody is that good at being assertive, right off the batt, we all think about it before being in the stressful environment. Some of us make it a point to always be assertive but that can be draining too. It's a balance.

Try role playing, according to my therapist that is the ONLY way to get assertive. There is no other way to practice the event/mood.

Ask a friend to help you, and go over what you want to say and notice the surroundings.

Then you will be better prepared no matter what.
Distance yourself from the Aries, think of him at the moment when you are role playing as that Aries, do not use his name. keep it unemotional.

You could say, I noticed you were doing your laundry the other day-good idea to reference a past event to take it out of the present-and I wondered why you were still doing it here, then I realized I didn't tell you how I wanted things. Let me explain, I dont' want you to do the laundry here again, okay? Don't wait too long for an answer and keep it light at the end. If he starts to get defensive, just back away and ask that he consider it for later.

Then make up somewhere else you have to go to, an appt, something.

Being an Aries he will bluster, just keep it cool and light and ignore any hand gestures or eye movements. Keep your eyes on what you are doing and refuse to see him as someone who belongs to you in anyway.

I usually imagine the person I am speaking to is a child who doesn't know what he is doing,

Hey it works,

posted August 29, 2004 01:48 PM         

Are you afraid he will hurt you physically if you stand up to him?