posted July 22, 2004 11:52 PM         

i would like to know the potentials for both positivity and negativity, as well as whether or not it's a karmic/soul union or just a "beautiful illusion" (Venus/Neptune)

how would it be likely for me to win this man's heart and nurture it over a long period of time?

i won't say much about it right away, because i think it would be interesting to see your comments first, and then i can confirm or deny things as we go along....sound fun to you, or is it just me cuz it's about ME?? *LOL*

okay, here's our info:

Maryann
8/19/67
7:19pm
East White Plains, NY

Tony
11/2/1957 (Nov 2nd)
4:11am
New York, NY

he's got a few things on cusps and it really confuses the heck outta me, big time....

posted August 08, 2004 12:24 AM         

i'll be more specific then....there are a few things about this relationship that are puzzling to me because i can't quite read what the themes are and what the aspects are...

but so far, i've found these...see what you make of it:

- my Aquarian Moon and Rising are both in his 5th house, which has an Aquarian cusp, AND is where his Pisces Moon resides

- my 2nd house True Node is exactly conjunct his retrograde Pallas in his 7th house (what does that mean??) and it (i think) sextiles (?? right??) his Pluto....

- my retro Saturn is exactly conjunct his Descendant

- his retro Juno is in my 4th house

- my Juno is in his 12 house

- his True Node very closely conjuncts his Sun....now, what does that mean?

- his Mercury is in close conjunction to my Mars...

- his Venus is in Sagittarius and his Mars is in Libra ....do we go well because both those signs go well with my Leo Sun/Aquarius Moon/Rising?

- my Venus is retro in Virgo and my Mars is in Scorpio, which is his Sun, and supposedly, Virgo and Scorpio go together well, yes?

- the only planet of his that's in my 7th house is Pluto....is this a good thing or a bad thing, being that i have a very packed 7th, which also includes Pluto?

so far, the only problem that i can foresee, and have already experienced, is that in a composite, we have Venus Square Saturn....i think it's me who's Venus, him Saturn, but he already acknowledged that he isn't comfortable expressing romance...he says he isn't "good at it", therefore he expresses "romance" as "friendship", which coincides with Venus in Sadge....however, he has flirted with me, but i guess that falls under his Scorpioness, right? .....he's very sexual and he likes that side of me very much...but he isn't very expressive...

i can shower him with love and affection, and i can get little or no response back....he'll even sometimes pretend i didn't say anything and change the subject!

this is confusing because of his having Neptune rising, plus his Pisces Moon in the 5th...i thought for sure this would be a romantic man...however, he's constantly writing/recording music and he's an excellent illustrator, so i can see that part of the 5th house coming out (creativity)....but i really have to make do with very little as far as displays of love and affection go....as a Leo, i really need and crave it....as a Scorpio/Pisces, he hides it...

i'm hoping my Jupiter in Leo can "expand" his lovingness via his Venus in Sadge....

any advice? i'd really appreciate it...

posted August 08, 2004 06:17 AM         

you asked a lot of questions there, but as I don't have time right now to discuss them all, I'd just like to say that you have some strong connections in your synastry. The first thing to look for in a relationship is where the other person's planets, especially personal ones, are in your chart, and if they touch any of the four major points in your horoscope: the 1st, the 4th, the 7th and the 10th house - the closer to the cusp, the better. I see his Venus is in your 10th house, which is a strong tie, especially since Venus is his ruler (him being a Libra Rising). So that is a good thing. And his Moon is on your Ascendant so that means he feels you instinctively - again a very good thing. And your Moon and Ascendant are in his 5th house, so I would say he loves you - even if not romantically or sexually, he loves you - your Ascendant represents you directly, your physical body, so you can be rest assured that he loves your body .
Whether or not this is a karmic relationship I'd say that all relationships are karmic more or less, depending on how many things tie the two persons together. If you have a lot of synastry aspects, that means that you have a lot of karma together to resolve or to be rewarded for, so that also means that you are more likely to have a more intense relationship. Otherwise, a particularly karmic relationship is indicated by a lot of Pluto and Saturn (and also other outer planets) aspects. Whether or not it is a love relationship, it depends on how much your "love" planets and your personal planets are linked together. Venus (love) and Mars (sex) are to be looked at, and the rulers of your respective 7th and 4th houses, also the 5th (the house of love), also Moon is very important.
I'd leave the asteroids and such aside for the time being since the most important are the personal planets of both of you and the houses ruling relationship (7th), intimacy (4th) and love (5th). The other things help fill the puzzle, but before that there are many things to be considered.
And another thing: it doesn't matter much if one has Mars in a sign where the other has the Sun if they are not linked with an aspect. It does mean there are some similarities between you in expressing the qualities of this sign, but if the planets are not linked, they are not a combination to be considered when looking at your relationship. But in your case there is an orb of 7 degrees between his Sun and your Mars, so I think this aspect should work. It's not a very favourable aspect for harmony, but it can stimulate the phsysical side of the relationship , especially since both are in Scorpio.
Hope I've helped a bit,

good luck,

posted August 09, 2004 02:30 PM         

That's true of Venus in Aries too. I have had two very serious long term relationships and these men always had fire Jupiters and air Moons and Ascendants. He must be very attracted to you, and he may feel indequate, or worry about having the ego stroked and dropped. He will be defensive and afraid of rejection down the line. After all you are have Jupiter in Leo!

what kind of attention are you looking for?

Have you made it clear to him what your needs are? Couples negotiate all the time, according to the books. It's okay to bargain, negotiate, compromise anytime you feel like it, as long as it's lighthearted and done with love. You do have good linkage. Your moon, and his Venus especially are well linked.

Your Leo Sun and Jupiter in Leo honestly, overwhelm him and he may not be confident of himself and that's why he says things like
"he's not good at it", that's his pride talking. You have a lot of pride, so you can't relate. His observations are about himself, not the situation.

Let him love you the way he can, and encourage him but don't let him feel he has to be different. You will have to do a lot of ego stroking, tell him you accept him the way he is, that kind of thing.

Mars in Libra is more talky than romantic, but his Venus must be very attracted to your Jupiter. How do you want him to pay attention to you exactly?

posted August 09, 2004 05:35 PM         

Be very careful not to make him feel rejected or he may pull in the other direction. Just be pre-occupied for a while. It won't take long for his curiosity to peak and that will be the start of him shifting his perspective. Direct questions on emotions probably confuse him if you want instant answers, he needs time to reflect as I am sure they are VERY powerful, but maybe not always clear. Only he has the power to clarify them in his own time. No pressure needed. Just patience and calm.

Just a feeling I have with similar placements in those areas.

posted August 09, 2004 05:38 PM         

I tried to run a synastry on my astrology program but it wouldn't take the input so, I resorted to hand aspecting. I think it's right though there may be some out of sign aspects I didn't look for.

When I look at charts, I look at the basic relationship to see if there's anything to attract people and then aspects that tend to keep people together and also what might be or become a problem. You have a lot of soft aspects to the inner Planets which indicates basic harmony.

I usually look for energy between the Sun and Mars, high energy in this case, attraction between Moon/Mars, Moon/Pluto, Venus/Mars, Venus/Pluto, communication with Mercury aspects to Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars and binding aspects between Sun/Moon, Sun/Saturn, Venus/Saturn and aspects that keep the relationship fresh and exciting between Venus/Uranus.

You seem to have some of all those I look for and a definite Karmic connection between Venus/Pluto with a conjunction. Linda Goodman devoted considerable space in Relationship Signs talking about the bond this aspect denotes...possible soul mates.

You also have a square between Venus/Saturn...his Saturn. He may at times inhibit the way you show affection and may also at times come off more like a parent than a lover. He has lessons to teach you about romantic love or may act like he does.

The first hurdle to get past in a relationship between a Leo and Scorpio is who's in charge and this can be a real problem if a power struggle develops. Best way to keep it from developing or defuse it if it already has is to talk about it......if this is a serious relationship. My opinion is that sooner or later, it will become an issue and the only way to make it work is to share power voluntarily. Neither of you is likely to react well to the orders from headquarters approach.

Be aware it's your Venus conjuncting his Pluto and he may have or develop the idea he has the power over the relationship.

I notice you are a Venus in Virgo. Sometimes those with this aspect in their natal chart tend to become critical of the other person in the relationship, nitpicking specifically. I know, I know, not you but if it develops that way, he will at some point wonder if there's anything he can do right in your eyes. Bad news, if it gets to that point.

Lastly, these are my opinions and I make no claim to be an astrologer but I thought you had waited long enough for an answer.

posted August 11, 2004 12:23 PM         

i keep trying to reply but it won't let me...

test test test??

should i divide my long answer into sections so the server can handle it?

posted August 11, 2004 12:28 PM         

there's certainly a lot here for me to consider....some things i was already aware of, but not everything....i've got some investigating (Mars in Scorp) to do, don't i?

someone pointed out that i'm a nitpicky Virgo Venus.....well, i'm also in Retrograde, so i tend to be more self-critical and/or if i'm critical of a lover, i usually keep most of it to myself and it doesn't get voiced, but a lot of the time, it does....i'm learning how to criticize constructively, in my old age..... but yeah, i stand guilty as charged, Your Honor....hehe

lilith, he seems to love my body, so you're on to something there .......but our bond is mostly intellectual....we met online! .....as for our Mars/Sun conjunction, you bet it gives a boost to the physical side....so far, we're very attracted to one another, sexually (and with his Sadge Venus ruling the hips? whew, man....all i'll say is he's GOOOOOOOOOOOD...hehehe)

i forget where i read it, but it was about the 'touch of a Piscean'.....it pertained to those with Pisces Moons as well as Suns and it said "the touch of a Pisces is unforgettable", and boy you better believe it!!!!!!! also, the man has skin that's like pure alabaster....i nicknamed him "David", cuz i told him he's smooth like marble, like Michaelangelo's David! no friggin exaggeration, either! *LOL*......i have never felt skin that smooth before and it's all over his body and it's natural; he doesn't slather on lotion or anything...he's a sweet freak of nature

posted August 11, 2004 12:29 PM         

the Leonian kind, naturally! .......oh yeah, i really wish he could lavish me with love, tenderness, warmth, affection, romance, the way i can him....but i also know that those of us with Leo Sun/Merc/Jupiter can be overwhelming (someone else pointed that out on this thread, too) .....so i can't really expect it to be returned in the same way, although that really is what i craaaaaave, as indicated by my Descendant in Leo...

coupled with that Venus/Saturn Square we have going on, i'm more than a little concerned about the future of this relationship.....he makes me feel emotionally rejected and empty whenever i freely express my love and it's met with coolness, or even worse, a change of subject! oh yeah, not too long ago, i was on the verge of totally giving up and not talking to him anymore because i had put myself out on a limb, telling him how i felt about him, and he completely ignored what i had said, choosing instead to tell me that it was time for him to leave work....it was very upsetting, and when we had the chance to discuss it later that night, he claimed he isn't ready for a relationship, even though at age 47, it's been a whole 3 years since his last relationship! .......also, i've been risking everything to be involved with him (long story, which i'll get into at a later time), so i didn't particularly like the fact that it seemed imbalanced....that was something his Libra Mars appreciated when i pointed it out......also, i told him he's still free to see other people if he wants to, (feeding his freedom-needing Sadge Venus with my freedom-understanding Aquarius Moon), that i'm not expecting a committment, and after he said that eventually all women usually do, i pointed out that it isn't fair to judge me based on any other experience he's had in the past; that this is a totally new and different experience following its own path, that i am an individual, and he wouldn't like it if i judged him based on what's gone on in MY past....yanno? ....i asked him if he was ever accepted exactly the way he is and he said no....i asked him never to change....so it made him feel better and ever since then (a couple of weeks ago), we haven't brought it up...

but the truth of the matter is, it really does bother me a lot....i'm not sure how long i can continue with the "ego-stroking" with little coming back (i'm trying to keep the focus on stroking MYSELF instead of relying on someone else to give it to me, which is part of my own personal issues)......i'm trying my best to understand him and get by on very little in the way of outward expressions of affection, and reminding myself that it's from his deep sense of inadequacy and fear of failure/rejection, but it really is not easy....i would feel incredibly guilty if he were to try and change himself for me, but at the same time, i'm not sure how long i can continue feeling emotionally unfulfilled before it begins to fall apart...he knows all this, so i'm being as patient as i possibly can and trying to reduce the pressure by keeping our exchanges light and playful (which comes easily and naturally, since we do so much LAUGHING together most of the time!)

we live 3 hours apart (he's in the Boston area), so we've only been together once (we met 4 months ago online)......we're going to be spending this Saturday and Sunday together, though, so i'll see if it's just that he communicates loving feelings better in the flesh as opposed to verbally....the short time we were actually together, it was the very first time, so i can't really go by that....but he was very responsive, and as i said, he was incredibly good .....silent intuition, plus the looks and sounds of him told me he was experiencing plenty of emotion....(and he sure as hell didn't reject me!)

posted August 11, 2004 12:29 PM         

Jwhop, you had a lot of interesting things to say, so thank you for taking the time out....about your list of aspects, it's unclear to me whose planet belongs to whom.....did you go "boy/girl/boy/girl" down the list, or what? .......does it start out with my Sun/his Venus, then His Sun/My Venus? and alternating on down the line? i'm confused about that....if i knew, i could go through each one and do a lot of looking up and reading and that would be a tremendous help!

i really appreciate everybody taking the time and making the effort to help me figure all this stuff out....i'm still very much a beginner, and whatever independent studying i've done online in the past 5 years has only resulted in my understanding of each sign's meaning and the themes of the Houses, what each aspect means, etc....you know, just the basics ......relationship astrology, as indicated by my loaded 7th, is particuarly intriguing...

posted August 11, 2004 01:33 PM         

You are doing a lot of the thinking in this relationship, what exactly do you want from him? He needs it spelled out..

Do you want more time together?
What kind of commitment since that could mean anything in this day and age? It's confusing to say not exclusive! He's already into you physically so you don't really need to give him more physical space or love, what else does he need in his life?

If you stay open to his needs, when you are together, you can ask him honestly to tell you what he wants in an ideal relationship right now. Tell him you are being very open and don't say anything to him until he comes out with it.

Many times it IS painful, what you hear, but sometimes NOT.

Be sure to tell him what you mean by commitment really! Otherwise you will feel denied.

You can go like this
You:Here is what I want, you can agree or disagree but it feels good to me to express myself
and I am open to your needs

Him: I don't want to talk about it right now

You: Fine, I will listen when you want to talk

Him: 2hrs later-Okay here is what I want.

You:Keep your eyes open and nod

Him:Well?

You:I will consider everything we talked about, can I call you later tonight?

Him: Okay, I will miss you, KIss Kiss

You: Okay, Kiss Goodbye, I've got to run
Later you call to find out how his day went,

Mars in Libra? That's a very breezy placement, heavy conversations will overwhelm him.

The Venus to Pluto thing is partially true. He may feel he has the power in the relationship but not love wise. He will still feel very vulnerable in terms of whether or not he is sure of your affections. Nothing you do or say can change that, his trust has to come with time.

My ex had the Venus in Virgo and my Pluto is in Virgo. I felt I had all the responsibility in the relationship if you want to call that power. But he would turn off affections like that if he was in a bad mood, or if trust was an issue with me. The Pluto side has some serious trust issues to work on, and the helping nature of Venus in Virgo does not always know when the Pluto side needs to be alone to work on things. He may have been swamped in previous relationships.

Be sure to show you care in practical non physical ways, such as preparing a meal, or making travel arrangements.

That's my experience, Venus in Virgo can get wiped out emotionally and over tired, be sure to take care of yourself physically, and be demanding! Venus in Sag and Pluto in Virgo would like a partner that made demands sometimes. You are very self reliant physically.

Natasha
Taurus
Venus in Aries

posted August 11, 2004 01:43 PM         

You may want to notice that you will be attracted to a lot of Mars in Libras over your lifetime.

My last relationship was with his Mars 8 degrees away from my Venus and he was very attracted. Still his Mars was in the 3rd, a bit breezy for me, as I have tons of fire in my chart too.

Every love is a lesson learned,
and a long term friend. like you said the praise and affection is what you are seeking, not perfection in another human being so concetrate on what you need and want from the world.

Your Scorpio is only human, he will never be perfect, but he may want to be perfect for you. Be sure to get lots of love from the world while you are involved with him, Leos don't have as many self doubts as Scorpios.

A lot of what you will be doing in this relationship is accepting his limitations as a man, if you do not make him aware that you accept him as is, he will stay, but be miserable and self doubting. Try accepting him as is, and see how he acts.

If he brings up the commitment conversation on his own and looks worried about your reaction, then tell him you have accepted what will be will be. Que Sera Sera.

This will ease his mind and he will be in a more confident state of mind. Do not make it your job to make sure he is confident and happy, he has to do this on his own.

No one is responsible for anyone else's happiness but it's hard lesson for Venus in Virgo.

My ex is still acting responsible for me-three years after we split!! I still love him, but he always wanted "More", I could never be as confident as he wanted me to be, and so I lost faith. Some of the things he wanted he didn't realize, would never come from me, as I am only human.

Good Luck and Take Care,
Natasha

posted August 18, 2004 08:45 PM         

holy cow, what a response, too! *LOL*

posted August 19, 2004 12:42 AM         

... sex must be great though ...

posted August 25, 2004 09:07 AM         

alright, i've considered all that was written in here, and i have a little update before i go on to the next thing i was gonna bring up.....my life is one continuous soap opera, so i figured i would entertain you all with my relationship antics hehehe......not only that, but i have a profound need to understand myself in relationship, particularly the ones i'm gonna be talking about, since they seem to be the ones that have brought me the most lessons, of course

as far as Tony goes, we were together again on Saturday the 14th, at Garagefest in NYC.....he'd taken vacation time off work and come down to stay in the City with a friend of his.....we'd discussed getting a room together and spending the night, but the very night before, we were on the phone, talking, and he either genuinely forgot, or pretended that he had, when i brought it up again to solidify plans....at which point, he agreed that we'd try and work out the night towards doing what we said....we had the right opportunity to spend a whole night together for the first time, since he was going to be here and i was going to be available and money wasn't going to be a problem...

the whole day went by and we barely touched each other....we stood at least a foot apart the whole time, that is, until i began trying to touch him....when we first hooked up, i stood on my toes to give him a kiss and he gave me his cheek....at one point, i just hugged him, kind of abruptly, and he laughed nervously and hugged me back and then let go of me, but i kept my arm around him with my head against his chest.....we were talking a little bit but it was clearly uncomfortable for us both....i put my hand up the back of his shirt and felt his back (because his skin is like VELVET, all over, and i've been raving about it since the first day we met, so he knew why i was doing that).....he started stammering about being worried about how he smelled, since he'd been unable to shower at his friend's house....i responded by sticking my nose in his armpit and neck and huffing him, then said there was absolutely nothing wrong with how he smelled, and in fact, i was attracted to his natural scent.....this was honest and he knew it, but still, i eventually dropped my arm and went back to standing apart from him, feeling rejected and discouraged and very sad.....the rest of the day i spent trying not to sulk or appear sulky, and wishing to God he would kiss me or i would have enough nerve to force one on him.....but i didn't want to force it, cuz if i have to do that, then it means nothing to me and is shallow and empty....

i wound up driving him and his friends (in the rain) from Randall's Island down to Canal Street, and hung out in their apartment while they ordered pizza and yapped for a couple of hours.....Tony sat on the couch across from the chair i was sitting in and i just kept staring at him, trying to convey with my eyes that i was wondering if we were going to get a room or go somewhere to be alone, or what....but at that time, we'd been standing for 11 hours straight, it was late and we were all exhausted....so at about 2:30am, when everyone was beginning to crash, he escorted me downstairs to my car to make sure i got into it safely....i thought for sure there'd be at least a steamy goodnight kiss...

we stood on the steps and watched the rain coming down at first, me on a stair above him, so our faces were level to one another.....he would barely look me in the eye at all, and handed me some homemade CDs he'd made for me, before finally stepping off to the sidewalk and walking toward my car which was parked in front of us....he gave me a quick peck on the lips and hugged me as we got rained on, muttering the normal goodbye things people mutter...i made note of the fact that we don't know when the next time we can touch or hug each other will be and he just said 'i know'.....another peck on the lips and we started making musical references to songs about rain, or kissing in the rain....he closed my car door and i left...

he'd said he wouldn't be home before Monday or online til Tuesday, so i didn't try to contact him til then.....and when we finally talked, neither of us mentioned anything that had or hadn't occurred between us for a while.....until i finally found the opportunity and mentioned it gently and with a touch of humor.....but he knew i wasn't kidding about feeling let down and he apologized....he told me he was so tired, he doubted he'd be any fun anyway, and i joked by telling him i would've perked him up.....but i wasn't joking when i said that just laying togther would've been worth it....he said very little other than he was sorry.....i also told him that i'd wanted at least a kiss all day, and he didn't say much other than that i should've taken one...

he confuses me so much...

the other night when we were on the phone, he'd been cooing at his cat, as he usually does......i don't mind it, ever, in fact, we bonded over cats to begin with....well, something came over me and i began to get choked up while listening to him and remembering being on his bed with the cat, as he was when we were talking....he heard it in my voice because i couldn't get away with staying silent and got me to tell him what was wrong.......all i could manage to say was that i wished i could be there with him, that i know what it's like now and hearing him made me miss him .....he sounded a little like "uh oh, this isn't good" at first, so i quickly added that it wasn't so much a sadness, but just a strong longing.....he asked "overwhelmed?" and i said "yeah, that's more like it"....i told him that i really do love him, and he told me that he loves me, too.....so i said that was good to know and that was that...

a couple of nights later we got into our first debate/near-argument, which shocked us both, and the next day i apologized and said i hoped it didn't make him feel bad and he said it did, but he got over it enough to fall asleep....i felt bad, but i also thought it was handled well.....we'd agreed to disagree and acknowledged that we'd never see this particular subject the same way (it was over the meaning and definition of a derogatory word)

ever since then, we've had pleasant conversations, but the last time we spoke, i sensed a bit of impatience in him, and he began to get defensive over how i worded something that was innocent, so i had to stop him and gently tell him i wasn't saying it the way he was hearing it....the conversation was nice enough after that, but sort of strained.....that was the night before last, and when i called him last night at a time when he's usually home, i got his machine.....i didn't try back and i'm planning on not being available today, even though i would love to talk to him.....he seems to really need all conversation to be light, with minimal discussion about our relationship, which he's still viewing as "just a friendship"....

yet, he tells me he loves me, and even hints at plans to change jobs and move down here, especially since that friend he stayed with is someone in his profession (cartoonist)

Tony and i originally bonded over cats on a music message board, but we quickly discovered that we're both creative, and we have an urge to create something together.....in fact, i have written a children's book that my artist friend had done illustrations for, but since she's not cooperating with giving me copies of the manuscript to mail out, i decided to let Tony do some of his own for me, instead, and we can collaborate on future projects together....so this has the potential of being a business/creative parnternship, as well....

posted August 26, 2004 09:38 AM         

my apologies for the self-indulgence!

posted September 18, 2004 11:21 AM         

his 5th house is ruled by Aquarius, which is my Moon and Rising....it's been known to cool off the romantic expression of the native, even though his Pisces moon resides there.....he expresses his 5th house more with artistic creativity than romance, even though he's fully capable of being romantic...

in our synastry and in our composite, we have Saturn Squaring Venus, which kills off romance even more!

being an extremely romantic Leo person, i thrive on romantic exchanges, but being a Venusian Sagittarian, and a 5th house Aquarian, he thrives on friendships....most of the time we get along well, like friends, but it's when i try and get romantic or sexy is when he completely ignores me and pretends i didn't say anything....i'm thinking he fears responsibility and committment, thinking it'll take away his independence, and he may be right, i'm afraid....i do hate being ignored when i put myself out to someone, and he did that to me yet again yesterday, resulting in me telling him it upsets me.....then, when we were supposed to be on the phone together last night, he refused to pick it up, so i wound up crying to him in several answering machine messages.....now i'm not sure what i should do at this point and i'm willing to bet he wants to call the whole thing off, totally....

i just posted a bunch of Saturn things in another thread, so i can find out whether Saturn or Uranus is likely to win out in this pairing....it SEEMS to point to a very important and long-lasting deep union, but there are certain aspects which suggest that it won't be long-term, it's probably best not to even enter the relationship in the first place.....and then there are conflicting interpretations which on the one hand say it'll be very unstable, but on the other hand it say it'll outlast many other unions and display a sober and enviable strength, lasting over a long time...

so which can be believed?? i'm confused, yet again, over this situation and i really don't wanna be crying anymore tears...

oh by the way, i'm married with children, so this fits in with Tony's penchant for "unconventional affairs" .......our Venuses also fall in one another's 11th houses, which is supposed to represent a deep love affair and we have shared hopes of being "really together" in the future...

i was planning on getting into my marriage, eventually, but i figured i'd give the whole picture to you all a little at a time...my marriage is unconventional, also (we both have Uranus in our 7ths and we're contemplating separation at the moment)

posted September 20, 2004 11:19 AM         

You said:

1. "he makes me feel emotionally rejected and empty whenever i freely express my love and it's met with coolness"

2. ".....then, when we were supposed to be on the phone together last night, he refused to pick it up..."

3. " but it's when i try and get romantic or sexy is when he completely ignores me and pretends i didn't say anything...."
______________________________________
You need to understand that he is just not interested in you romatically.
______________________________________

"oh by the way, i'm married with children"
______________________________________
You need to understand that you are married, WITH CHILDREN. Time to consider that there is more going on here than your need for attention and romance.

Just telling you the truth, as I see it.

posted September 20, 2004 01:01 PM         

I recommend an evolved soul named Ian at ian888@shaw.ca
Tell him I sent you, he is a Sag BTW/Moon in Aqua, Take Care,

posted September 20, 2004 02:08 PM         

Key, with Venus in Taurus (4th house)

posted September 20, 2004 05:14 PM         

i was getting to the subject of my marriage and i was going to shed some light on to what got me to this point....do not condemn me just because my values don't happen to coincide with yours....you have no clue what you're talking about, what i've been through and am going through, and many of my lifelong friends don't know how i managed to hold out this long without seeking solace elsewhere.....my husband and i are currently in therapy in order to help us split amicably and he was the one who TOLD me to go up and meet Tony...he's well aware of him, and Tony has been aware of my situation long before we were even together in the first place, so so much for those "values" you assigned him.... (are you either him or one of his friends?? ....he's seen that i come to this website and has cyber-stalked me recently, so that wouldn't shock me, being that the ******* has also already recorded my phone calls, kept a journal of my every move in a locked footlocker along with photos of me, MY handwritten photo scanning directions, and a business card for a private investigator....i won't even get into the other sneaky stuff he's pulled behind my back, but trust me, there's much more you're either oblivious to, or know firsthand, depending on who you REALLY are)

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EDIT: just took note of your join date - my apologies, but the possibility would not have shocked me with the way you were defending his undeserving ass

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as for Tony, and my "obsession" with him and him "just not being interested" in me romantically, well, that could be the case now....but it certainly wasn't the case when it was all starting out and for a while after, until recently....that's what i'm still trying to figure out....

i've been told:

"i love you, too" ....more than once
"i've never met anyone quite like you before - you are unique"
"you're one of my best friends and i enjoy your company"
"this won't end in tears - i think we're very compatible"
"and for dessert? something sweet and warm like you"
"romance IS friendship, to me, always was"
"i'm friends with every woman i've ever been with"
"why are you so addicting?"
"one of my other girlfriends (keyword: girlfriends) played clarinet, too"
"i'm afraid of being inadequate"
"you are a sex goddess"

there's a certain Uranus connection that exists in our chart which points to this relationship starting out with a burst of romantic fervor, then calming down into something more platonic...i've also noted that it also points to longevity, via our Saturn contacts, as well as our composite showing that this is a relationship of great significance.....we also have a professional relationship, which could very well be our soul/sole purpose of coming together in the first place, but perhaps we had some residual karma to work through first

i've been searching for answers, because yes, AS a MOTHER, i wouldn't take chances with our lives like this if i didn't feel someone was important enough...i do feel as if my intended mate - primary soul mate, if you will - is still out there, especially since meeting Javier from Spain, who definitely exchanged a great deal of karmic lessons with me on a profound level and has helped me GROW....he was there for me the DAY AFTER my husband got within an inch of my face, yelling, and told me that my body is "disgusting" and that i'm "s.h.i.t in bed".....Javier was there to redeem me, and we experienced many MANY different "coincidences" and a very strong initial intuitive bond....a couple of stories could raise the hair on your arms, it was that "magical" (good ol' Neptune, strikes again) ...through these relationships, i've discovered that i am worth so much more than what i was continuously subjecting myself to and sticking around for, fearing my own independence and believing that i really am this piece of crap my "wonderful" husband would have me believe i am.....it's not just about my "need for attention"....you wanna think i'm that shallow and pathetic, you're more than welcome; i know better.....i've got lots of friends to nurture and feed that need (Aquarius Moon and Rising) .....this is something else entirely, my friend

what confuses me about Tony is that he has told me his feelings run deep....he's admitted to me that he hopes for a future with me....we've talked intimately about different facets of this friendship, and that includes his difficulty in having romantic relationships in the first place, due to his frequent bouts of depression (Pisces Moon/Scorpio Sun, Neptune in the 1st, the list goes on) ...i've vowed not to abandon him when this happens, and it would take an awful lot for me to, also because of the fact that when the **** hit the fan with my abusive husband, Tony could very easily had told me he had enough problems of his own to deal with and let me go...instead, he told me he would always be there for me, he would be my friend no matter what happened, and that if i needed to call and talk, if i needed money, or anything, he would be right there for me....(compassionate Neptunian influence) ....Leo loyalty takes that extremely seriously, and a man would have to almost literally **** ON ME in order for me to stray and lose that loyalty....and hey, someone else has already done that, therefore, has lost my loyalty and my heart, by his own doing....

Natasha, i am going to contact Ian when i get a chance, and i thank you very much for the help....i seriously need it in this case because it's been terribly confusing and it's beginning to become more painful than enjoyable....that's a shame because we have enjoyed many countless hours of laughter and companionship over the last 4 months and in many ways have been very compatible...

posted September 20, 2004 07:35 PM         

I just hope truthfully your not clinging on to this man because you think that you wont meet anyone better, I know you havent said that at all, and it might not be true.
I completley respect someone who wants to make the most of a relationship, and works to keep it together, so that if it does fail; they know they had done their best and that it just isen't going to work out, and if it dosen't; they can be secure in the knowledge that they are closer than before and that they have a strong relationship.

Astrology wise, your Venus in the 7th house is the main one which promises for a
happy relationship, and that you will one day meet someone who you will be happy with. And that, to me, is one of the most important things, if your not completley happy with someone, if there are things you just cant accept (things you cant just go "Oooh, those are just his quirks) if you dont feel secure and safe, then I think that man isen't for you. And vice versa.
I hope I haven't offended or upset or hurt you at all, that wasn't my intention
Lots of love Sunxxx

posted September 22, 2004 10:39 AM         

Natasha, I don't need to pay Ian a visit, because my personality traits work for me. I feel comfortable with myself, for all of my strong-willed traits. They come in handy.

Everybody smile and let the sun shine in!

key