posted August 23, 2004 02:52 AM         

It was a REALLY emotionally-difficult day for us both and he mentioned the other day that he questioned whether he is making the right decision.

Right from when I met him, he told me of his affinity with his exes and how he is "much better friends in many ways after the relationship ended".
I know the high value an Aquarian places on friendship. He admits he is hard on people he is close to and his friends mean much, much more to him than someone he is dating, or even married to (?)...(his ex wife apparently deceived him regarding another man). I have never done anything to him that deserves question.

I am also starting a bath & body care business and while living at his house, had built up my inventory of soap, which was curing in a downstairs room of his house. The soap takes 4-6 weeks to cure. He stubbornly insisted I leave these at his house, which surprised me, because it would have been just as easy to move it with everything else. But, why? - just to maintain our contact in case someone he has most likely begun dating doesn't work out?

He called me 2 hours after he left my house yesterday to say he was sorry for rushing me earlier (it was because he had to get a project done before flying to Atlanta early this morning and it turned out an engineer did a major amount of work on the project so he didn't have to rush after all)... he did slow down after that and help me move things. He calls me again twice today from the plane sitting on the runway in Atlanta, once on my cell and again on my home phone to say he received a text message from me late last night with no message or voicemail from me. So, I KNOW I never sent the text message (too many complicated steps on my phone for it to have happened 'accidently'), and he knows it, too...

He said in his messages today that he is concerned that I am okay and to call him back to let him know how I am. I am doing as well as anyone would be in my situation right now: not wanting for one second to be where I am, but know I will get through it, eventually.

What is up with all the calls? A case of guilt? A case of missing me? A case of him wanting things to be cozy and familiar, knowing I'm still there?

Mind you, we had been together every night, my living at his house since April and the separation is very hard on both of us. BUT, the attraction of being single, I think is stronger for this freedom-loving Aquarius.

He expressed more than three times yesterday that he wants us to get together next week when he returns from his business trip in Atlanta (we both live in Portland, OR)...the IRRITATING thing, is when he called yesterday after dropping me off after the move, he says "call me when I get back and we will get together"...this irritates when ANYONE says this, as though their life is too important to pick up the phone.

Huge question mark in my brain right now and even that hurts. Any insight to the Aquarian mind that has confused me enough already?

I obviously have a lot of questions (typical Sag that I am) and would appreciate insight into 1. the male mind and 2. the male Aquarian mind.

I'm sorry this is so long and drawn out, but it's too fresh to make any sense of what is going on right now.

posted August 23, 2004 04:19 AM         

If you've read my thread about a Libra with a Cappy Mooner, he's confusing too. He's got a strong Mercurial influence, and I attach Aquarians to that Mercurial energy, although most currently affected are the Virgo's, then Gemini's, THEN Aquarians. Haven't you noticed? Everything is goofy with all the Gemini's, and those of us with Virgo influences...

Being "in between" is probably the most tormenting of them all, and that's where I am, of course. You have a sure mission to get through the closure and move on.

As for his "ex hang-up" :::

"...
Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, and now my friend ..."

posted August 24, 2004 07:27 AM         

He calls me all the time and leaves messages, wants to know how I am..rising is Pisces, maybe there is a Pisces influence there?

Some men are bad at taking personal responsibility sometimes when things go wrong, if he can throw the guilt off himself by doing things, he willl. let him. In the end feeling bad will just lead to making yourself feel worse. Don't let him make you feel this way is my meaning.

And yes people do make us feel a certain way and then stop. I know we have responsibility for our emotions but that doesn't mean we do not listen to others and believe them.

In my experience most say their last partner fooled around on them, or burned them when in most cases facts are a little different. There may be more guilt that he is hiding, that's denial. No reason, just guilt.

Natasha
Taurus
Mars/Sag conjunct 1st house

posted August 27, 2004 12:38 PM         

He called again yesterday (4th phone call + 1 hang up call from Atlanta since last Saturday), early evening, left a message to tell me he had to cut short his business trip, he had been having chest pain (he has had heart issues/problems in the past) and he ended up coming home Wednesday instead of Friday (today). :::breaking out the violins::

Ok. Fine. Thanks for the information.

He had mentioned last Saturday when we were moving my things out that he wanted us to get together when he returned from his trip (...?).

So he mentions yesterday on his message that he wanted me to know he came home early and for us to get together 'sometime' and to give him a call 'sometime'. He also made a point of telling me he was on his way home and he would call me on my cell and talk to me then...

I'm sure he doesn't want to lose a familiar face (me) in his life, while transitioning to his desired single/bachelorhood. So what's with the need to stay in such close communication even though we are broken up? My ex husband never even stayed in such close contact with me after we split up. This Aqua guy and I, up until this week, had spend every night together since this past April.

Insight into the male Aquarian mind (again), please? Anyone tell me, aside from his being an Aquarius who prizes friendship above all, why do men do this?

Of course I still have strong feelings for this man. I cannot turn my feelings on and off like water from the tap and have been hurting all week. Maybe it was better while he was 3,000 miles away with me in Portland and him in Atlanta, but now that he is back home, my heart is hurting all over again.

Any insight would be appreciated.

Is an Aquarius male able to completely cut their feelings off just like that and move on, or at least make such an easy transition? He obviously wants to remain in contact, but it's a very fine line right now.

I'm feeling like I'm being kept on his back burner as a familiar face while he goes out and pursues other specimens under his microscope, if you know what I mean.

Feedback!! Thanks.

posted August 27, 2004 03:54 PM         

Yes, I still hurt, but by his expressing his want for us to get together sometime, just confuses things more. I'm not really confused, just wishful thinking that things would work out between us, and I know that they won't, in reality.

So why drag things out is my point.

Thank you Mama for your feedback. I plan to step back and away for the time being to take care of myself.

What is loud and clear for me, is that he promises things in his enthusiasm, but doesn't fully think things through. When the times comes for him to come through, he is unable to. Thus, he backs off until things have cooled off enough (and the person has 'forgotten') for him to reappear in the picture with some degree of comfort (his comfort level, that is). This could sound like a very harsh thing for me to say, but I'm feeling that he is an emotionally immature man who wants everything despite who he hurts to get it.

My one HUGE regret: Is that I make soap as a hobby with the desire to go into business and have a small inventory built up. It is sitting right now in his wine cellar and needs 6 weeks to cure before it can be used.
Why is it there? Because on the day of our move, he says: Your soap would be better there where the temperature is cooler.

Now that I think about it, that was another ploy for him to keep our connection at his convenience. Big mistake on my part.

posted August 30, 2004 11:07 AM         

My cell phone rang when I wasn't too far from home and it was him. He wanted to know how the Josh Groban concert was that I went to, told me about his heart condition acting up, yada yada yada. He's so weird - he kept dragging out the conversation, asking me questions to keep me on the phone.

He even offered to bring some things over to my house this weekend (nope, sorry, not going to be home), except for ALL my soap still in his wine cellar, which I mentioned I needed to get the rest of it from him but he is so FIRM about keeping at his house (what's up with that, anyways?) and AGAIN, he says No, it's fine where it is, it can stay there. I'm beginning to think he has control issues (think we mentioned this about Aquas in another thread) about letting go of the last bit of me at his house...(didn't HE call this relationship off?)

posted August 31, 2004 12:05 PM         

But I would say that there's nothing stopping you from taking action, going to his house and picking up your soap.

Isn't that worth at try? he wil probably give in on the spot.

posted August 31, 2004 03:26 PM         

I'm having a very uncharacteristic case of **chicken-itis** and for some reason cannot go get my things from him. I am usually able to do this, no problem. It's a very awkward feeling right now. Maybe I should let some more time pass when I feel stronger. One minute I'm fine, the next, well, you know how it is. I know I'll be fine, really I do, but right now I'm having a hard time with seeing him even though in my heart of hearts I want differently.