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Author Topic:   Why is it so hard to be still?
Kat Smeow
Knowflake

Posts: 26
From: New Jersey
Registered: Nov 2003

posted October 13, 2004 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kat Smeow     Edit/Delete Message
I've heard the advice over and over: just wait, and you'll get what you need/want/desire. But I find it most challenging to just stay still while the world works around me. Deep in my heart, I feel that I should step back for a little bit, and just watch, but it's near impossible for me.

I have a number of relationships with men, all vastly different. Most are online. One is not. One is both. The tumult that this last one has caused in my life is both exhilarating and frustrating. I simply don't know what to do with this man anymore. He is ever present in my thoughts. We have an intense connection that he has admitted to as well. Yet, I am not his priority, he is always looking for that greener grass. I have consciously decided not to pursue any romantic relationship with him, as much as it seems right. (In case you're curious, me: Taurus Sun,Libra Rising,Virgo Moon, Him: Scorpio Sun, Sagittarius Rising, Cappy moon)


Anyway, a number of these men that are around me have ended our relationship because they "felt too much" for me. Huh? I'm assuming they have some real life situation they did not divulge, so, oh well. I have decided to simply pursue my career/life without seeking, having or wanting a relationship.

I guess I'm just whining right now, because I want it so badly, and just have to face that it's not meant to be. I don't want to be broken again. I don't know if I'd ever come back.

I just want to know how to stand still, take my mind off of relationships, reprogram myself. I feel my entire life has been based on going after relationships. And I've never found that soul who wants to cherish my heart instead of hoarding it and smashing it underfoot. I just want to be me for awhile. Any ideas how to start? And what do I do with this Scorpio in the meantime?

Thanks and much love,
Kat

------------------
"When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes." -Erasmus

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astro junkie
Moderator

Posts: 5074
From:
Registered: Nov 2003

posted October 13, 2004 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
Kat -

I've had some of the same issue with being patient and sitting still. Think of this as a form of control on your part.

You say you always find yourself going after a relationship, and maybe a part of you is not comfortable with that. If that's what you want, and if you need that security in a relationship, allow yourself to feel fully comfortable about that part of yourself.

For me, it has helped to become more in touch with my Higher Source, more specifically, BELIEVING this Source has a bigger loving plan. In order to get past this, you must believe that with your core. In this way you'll be ready for unexpected blessings.

Try to stay away from the Internet stuff, you may have a slight addiction, but mostly, it's a place for you to hide.

Cultivate romance in person, face to face, from the start. Have faith and forget about those who lack faith.

PS::: Have you seen a computer geek's version of computer sex?

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eightdegrees
Knowflake

Posts: 149
From: Burlington, VT, USA
Registered: May 2003

posted October 13, 2004 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for eightdegrees     Edit/Delete Message
AJ,

You are just great. Wanted to tell you that!

~eight

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puppyblew
Knowflake

Posts: 83
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2004

posted October 23, 2004 01:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for puppyblew     Edit/Delete Message
i'm trying to teach myself this very same thing. it gets hard at night, when you are all alone and want someone to talk to. maybe this is why you turn to your computer? i've found that getting out when you feel lonely helps alot. go out - to the mall, whatever. being with others helps take your mind off of relationships and you'll suddenly find you've gotten your life back. doing chariy work or volunteering is even better. it teaches you that loving someone comes in many forms, and it also teaches you how to give your love to someone that matters, instead of wasting it.
all the best kat!

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LIN420
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2004

posted October 27, 2004 11:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LIN420     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Kat,
This reply is a little late, but what you said really hits home with me. It seems that the more you try to find someone the less likely you are to succeed. You need to take the time and energy that you put into searching and "working things out" into areas of your life that will compensate you directly ie excercise, work, school whatever. Then sometimes when you're not expecting you find what it is you need, rather than being busy trying to pin down what you think you need. As far as the whole scorpio deal, be patient with yourself, something about scorpio guys make them fascinating and hard to walk away from even if you know you need to. The problem is scorpios have so much to offer if they have there own lives straightened out but nothing is as frustrating as a scorpio thats playing games, because they very often are. They are very good at manipulating other people because they often see past the surface and can read people's motives and weakness'. So don't persue a relationship with a scorpio unless you feel strong enough to be put through the emotional wringer.

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LIN420
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Oct 2004

posted October 27, 2004 11:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LIN420     Edit/Delete Message
PS. I've been to Jersey so i know there's loads of tasty men. Maybe you just need to take another look around.

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astro junkie
Moderator

Posts: 5074
From:
Registered: Nov 2003

posted October 27, 2004 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
Is there a place where there are lots and lots of NICE single guys?

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2253
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted October 28, 2004 09:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
AFter the breakup with my ex, I went to therapy and we practiced a break from sexual relationships. That is where we actually go together every week, journaled, shared our thoughts, and concetrated on ourselves instead of nurturing a romantic relationship.

It really worked, I feel invigorated and brand new. I was feeling tired, empty, worn out, hopeless and plain uninterested in my ex.

Now I feel closer to him in a very different way,
hard to explain, but you must go through a break,

Natasha
Taurus

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