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Author
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Topic: PROBLEMS WITH SO CALLED SOUL PEOPLE??
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 06, 2005 06:27 AM
 
I have written a few times about a "friendship" I have with a Libra guy, where I felt extremely connected to him to the point of feeling responsible for him. Well the relationship is one of the most difficult Ive ever had and of late I have really been putting things to the test. Last week I told him Id had a house fire, we also had some paranormal activity in the house prior to the fire, where my husband was "sat upon" in bed by a spirit. We got all the cleared and no one was hurt by the fire, but as you can imagine I felt shocked and shaken, and still do. I didn't tell this "soul friend" until two weeks after - he made it quite clear he was busy at work - 90 hour week etc and the message I got was "stay away". Anyway when I did tell him he acted all concerned "why didn't you tel me etc" and then "is there anything Ican do" and so I asked if I could meet him as I really needed a friend outside the family who I could talk to. We didn't meet for 4 months so I didn't think it was too strenuous a request. Anyway we live a couple of hours from each other but he agreed to give me some support. Guess what he did, the day before we were due to meet he said he couldn't come coz hed promised "the lads" he would watch a ball game on tv and couldn't get out of it. Now this is a guy who has threatened suicide to myself and husband and I have been there for him (once holding him up in a night club) two or three times. I have now told him I cannot have a friendship without honesty and openness and he should be straight with me and he came back with "I am licking my wounds coz my football team lost. Is there anyone out there who could see something I can't - he either hates me and wants me out of his life or he loves me too much and can't handle it. Would anyone be prepared to give an opinion or even look at his chart. I am usually very very perceptive but this one gets me stumped. As for soul connections, NO THANKS, and next time I "recognise" another, I will RUN. Thanks guys I am struggling and any response would good xxxxIP: Logged |
Christinaeavynwarner
Knowflake Posts: 198
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted March 06, 2005 04:10 PM
I'm not at all fit to give any advice, but I'm a Libra myslef (girl!) And well, sometimes, (I'm not speaking for all of us) but sometimes, I love this friend to death. And the next day, I kinda just wannt get away from her. It's really nothing to do with her, just with how I am feeling at the moment. And sometimes, we would make play dates and on the day that we are going to do something, I would feel like I'd rather stay home and eat ice cream and play with my puppy instead. And again, its got nothing to do with the friend...so, maybe your friend doesn't hate you, or anything. Just his mood.Anyway, I'm glad you and your family are all safe! and please go out to a spa or a movie or meditate or something. I hope you're all right. Christina Eavyn Warner IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 07, 2005 09:05 AM
Thanks Christina for your words - maybe I am too intense for him hey, and should back off xIP: Logged |
Christinaeavynwarner
Knowflake Posts: 198
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted March 07, 2005 11:00 PM
I don't know, I guess just give him some time. when I'm in a mood and annoyed with a friend, it usually just takes a few days of not seeing her, then I'm back to being all lovy again.Christina Eavyn Warner IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 08, 2005 12:06 PM
Hey Christina, I hope you don't mind me asking, but if your friend was really in a bad way, like having a breakdown and needed someone to talk to you, would you still do the flippant thing that lots of Libras do, coz I hate to say this, but he came to me two or three times when he was suicidal, but the one time I needed him run, run, run..........I do hope you and other Libras are not like this, it is very hurtful xIP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 20, 2005 05:17 PM
sue g ~
No, I don't believe that most Libras are like your "soul friend" that we examined over in the Astrology forum. I take back what I said about him being deeper than most Libras because of that Scorpio stellium and 4 planets in water. I think it's reprehensible that he made arrangements to meet you but then cancelled because he had to watch that important ball game with the lads, and "couldn't get out of it." For crying out loud, don't they have VCR's in Ireland? If a friend of mine needed me, and I had made arrangements to meet them, only death or grave injury would prevent me from being there. This is about personal honor and integrity, not about being a Libra. And I don't think that natal charts or transits can really determine when someone's integrity and honor are going to lapse.
I think this guy is toxic. Let him go. He wants attention. My ex called me at work one day and told me that he'd slashed his wrists because he just couldn't take life anymore. So I dashed home, and nothing of the sort had happened. You are being the good person that you believe you should be by trying to help, but you can't save people from themselves, no matter how many times they beg you to help. THEY have to save themselves. Perhaps everyone has always tried to save this Libra, and so he has leaned on these external crutches instead of learning to heal himself. You can have "soul unions" and "psychic ties" with jerks too, as I found out. I moved 2000 miles away from my ex to prevent his leaning on me -- he just found another Sugar Mama to take care of him.
Best of luck with this guy, stay strong -- you ARE!
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pixelpixie
Moderator Posts: 8029
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 20, 2005 05:40 PM
wow.
Great empowering words.
Makes sense, when I looked at your Saturns in the other thread.
It is hard to give up on someone.. Maybe he is selfish by nature, and doesn't understand with the sme depth that you do.. and yes, it is about vcharacter, and what he does with his inate tendancies, rather than his supposed qualities.
I agree with azalaksh's analysis. But i do want to say.. don't completely give up, but it is not up to you to fix him either. Sometimes friendship is a one way street until the other friend realizes this and draws some lines down the middle. In this case, you are the more enlightened one. Let him know how reprehensible you feel his inactions were.. don't just sweep it away. Maybe tht is the Saturn lesson. You do have Karmic lessons together, and they are rarely sweet.
good luck.IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 20, 2005 09:22 PM
Hi sue g ~
I re-read your post (being as Merc is retro!) and the part about your husband being "sat upon by a spirit" leaped out at me. Please read Sylvia Browne's "Book of Dreams" for a possible explanation of this phenomenon.
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 22, 2005 04:42 AM
Oh Az and Pixie, what can I say - you guys are SO helpful, Az sorry about the Libra comments I made, i am at times too extreme in my views, so thanks for that and all the other wise words you gave to me, where do I find friends like this?? xPixie, you know I was just on the verge of writing him a letter telling him how I feel, but something stopped me, because he is only young (25) I feel it would be too much for him, but Im wrong aren't I, cos hes gonna do it to others. so thanks for your advice. Hey do you guys wanna move over to Ireland to keep an eye on me (ha ha). Thanks again, means a lot, I am learning slowly but surely with a little help from my friends - God bless xxx IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 22, 2005 04:45 AM
p.s. Az thanks a million for the book your recommended, will try and get hold of it xxIP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 23, 2005 11:07 PM
LOL sue ~
I'd love to come to Ireland! I'd like to meet a real healer, and my family is Irish (Hannah). I wasn't upset about your Libra comments, and no offense was taken. But you should have seen me after the Libra-bashing thread a few weeks ago, it was a real eye-opener, I had no idea we were so widely loathed!!! The tone of my post above was irritation and outrage, that someone who is apparently intelligent and calls himself your friend could have such a lack of consideration and decency. One mitigating factor? He DID call you to tell you he couldn't make it, even if it was for an indefensible (at least to my non-football mind) reason.
You directed this at pixie, but my 2-cents? I think your idea of writing him a letter is a GOOD idea! IMO his age is irrelevant. Perhaps he needs a good written slap across the face. If it were me, I would spend at least a week writing this letter, a little every day, and revising it as new thoughts occur to you or feed off your existing words. When you feel like you've said everything you need to say, then either 1) give/send it to him, or 2) read it out loud and burn it.
Please keep us posted on how this works out.
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Namaste73
Knowflake Posts: 34
From: Miami, fl, USA
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted March 24, 2005 10:39 PM
if i may offer my advice.. It seems like you are carrying this guy, alone. There are people who crave attention. This is because they are unable to exist, just as is. Sometimes, this attention is needed to balance them out, as they cannot balance themselves out. Sometimes it makes them feel responsible, because others are telling them that they can do this and do that.. It is the only way that they can gain some kind of control over their situation. Because you have been there so often for this guy, and because you asked him to be there and he said no and you gave him the impression that it is OK to carry on this way, then he will not take responsiblity for his actions. sometimes, we do not know what we have, till it is gone. Keep in mind that if you say no the next time this guy NEEDS your help, you are not being selfish. A relationship should have some balance to it, where both people are benifiting in some way, from it. He is definetly taking advantage of you.. Pull back and let the situation play itself out. May I suggest that you tell him in no uncertain terms just how he makes you feel?? Give him specific examples of times when he did not come through for you. Do not blame, just express. Let him know that this is not acceptable, and that you deserve to be treated better. Soul person or not, it is wrong to treat people that way. I offer what i am now learning, and am still learning to you. I wish you all the best  Namaste
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 25, 2005 05:31 AM
Namaste, brilliant, insightful advise, many thanks. I am beginning to feel extremely supported with this issue in my life, if anyone needed a huge kick up the a***!!!! You guys are amazing, thanks so much, will try as I might to follow the gems I am receiving x x x IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 1339
From: north of Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted March 25, 2005 09:22 AM
Azalaksh,For the record, I'm a HUGE Libra fan. ,
hsc
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Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 25, 2005 08:09 PM
Steve ~
For the record, I am a HUGE hsc fan -- I really like the way you write!  IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 26, 2005 11:13 AM
Dear Az, I am beginning to like Libras after reading your messages (but you are a female one aren't you), thanks again, this is brilliant advice about writing the letter, Ive already done one and kept it so far, but will prob burn it. I am biding my time, will know when its good to act. At the moment, trying to get my strength back and talking to guys like you makes ALL the difference. Thanks again Lovely Libra Lady xxxxIP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 26, 2005 01:48 PM
Aw shucks, now I'm blushing.....thanks for the good thoughts sue. Yeah, I'm a woman, five years older than you. Perhaps it's because my Moon is in Pisces or my Mercury in Scorpio that what I say may resonate with you. I don't blame you for feeling a little touchy about Libras!
But now, I've got a Scorpio thinking that Libras might be OK  -- my work here is done (!!!)
Be sure to read your letter out loud to the Universe before you burn it, to imbue it with your spirit and send it out to the Masters of Karma....IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 26, 2005 04:53 PM
WOW powerful words lady Libra, many thanks for your wisdom, will do the said deed tomorrow. Have you seen the beautiful full moon in Libra, amazing! xxIP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Moderator Posts: 8029
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 26, 2005 11:57 PM
Well here is another Scorpio Libra-lover.
I have always maintained that.
LOVE you Libras. Man or Woman.
and good advice indeed!
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Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 27, 2005 12:04 PM
sue g, pixie ~ I'm really enjoying this Lovefest! My best friend is a Scorp-gal, it seems we each possess attributes that the other is short on or needs developing, so we mesh well and learn a lot from each other, and we can do the mind-reading thing -- of course, we have known each other since 7th grade so that's a lotta years of sharing the laughs and the tears!
PS: I did the chandelier-bonk-smilie because I had an image of the light dawning for your young Libra fella!!!
PPS: Yes, I have seen the glorious Libra Moon -- the past few evenings I have spent some time outside just looking at it. I feel really "Me" during Libra Moons and Pisces Moons..... sue, please let us know how the letter thing goes...... IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 3238
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted March 27, 2005 07:51 PM
This guy wants to stir up drama, to make himself look important-HE does need attention, and he's acting immaturely. Are you sure he's not looking for a Mother figure? Does he have Saturn aspecting his Venus or 7th house?He would eroticize the mother figure at some point, and that's not good for him, As a LIbra he needs more self assertion. I do this with father figures, without realizing it, age is not the factor, it's the person's influence. Then I stir up trouble, acting the "infant".
Natasha
Taurus IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted March 27, 2005 08:51 PM
Natasha ~
His stats are over here......
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004837.html IP: Logged |
everlost
Knowflake Posts: 13
From: australia
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted March 27, 2005 11:09 PM
he sue g..i just thought i add my 2 cents worth as im a scorp with sooo much libra in me it aint funny!!
also having spent 10 years with a libran man,who i now still love-hate intensly!!
not sure if you should just 'write' him off..what he did WAS crappp!!
but friends are strange creatures,and sometimes they dont behave or react how we would like them to. and sometimes WE dont behave or react how they would like us to!!your situation has happened to me sooooo many times its rediculous,one particular girl who i was ALWAYS there for, ran and ran when i needed help.at first i was angry and wanted to just evict her from my life.for years i had been her shoulder to cry on..even let her live at my place for nothing...,and when my partner at the time became physically violent,she turned her back on me,told a mutual friend she didnt want to be a "crutch" for me,which made me sooo angry cos i never share my problems with her anyhow as she likes to talk but hates to listen,i was deeply hurt by her comment.then i examined our relationship and what i DID get out of the friendship.. ,i realised i loved to hang out with her,because i enjoyed her company.we could have a laugh and a drink,she s great fun to be around..however,she is not the friend i go to when i need help//this was a BIG changing point for me, i realised that my friends had different roles in my life,once i understood that,my relationships with each of them took on a new meaning.so with your guy,you need to find out what it is you do get from the relationship,what i can gather so far is that perhaps you like to help people out,you might like to be involved with other peoples dramas,you might like to sort things out for others,this is like me,i enjoy helping ppl through their rough times,well maybe not enjoy,but you know what i mean!!
your friend on the other hand may not,he also maybe no good at helping other ppl through their problems,also,you already know he cant cope with his own problems so he may not be able to cope with yours. dont be hurt by this or angry,its just who he is,or at the very least...who he is at present.you both bring different things to ur relationship,whatever they are..look at the things he does bring,if the only thing he does bring is the ability to allow you to be nurturing,then you need to think about whether this is enough for you to sustain a friendship.me ..i have a hard time letting go of ppl,i just accept them for who they are,if they are taking too much of my energy then i pull back for a while . you need to look around and see who your friends are that can be there for you in times of crisis,and cherish them.dont be too hard on your libran guy..not totally his fault he isnt as nurturing and compassionate as you
these are just my thoughts..just thought i would share with you
xoxoxIP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 28, 2005 07:19 AM
Oh ladies, lucky luck me to be with such wise and considerate people. Nat, so dead on, yeah he has treated me like a mother at times and then I have caught him looking at me lustfully, so there was always a lot of confusion for him - will check that aspect, thanks for your words.Everlast - very helpful in your guidance, and I think your words made me realise that I have expected too much from this "young fella", and as the connection is so strong, it is best all round if I let him go, which I am doing at the moment, The last week has felt easier. You are right and do you know I expect to much from others, Ive no right to be so demanding! You sound very well balanced. Thankyou xxx Az, aahhh lovesfest (I am called the Love Lady here ha ha more live the devil woman when I am home sting sting sting). I loved what you said about "image of the light dawning" - god I hope so, but I think you are right. The friendship between us was unhealthy and not appropriate somehow, albeit that it did teach us great lessons -I hope his light starts to shine now, and he stops experimenting with the "dark side" which unfortunately I got dragged into (if anyone want to hear I can explain its very Scorpionic and not for the faint hearted). And to say to all you guys again, being part of this spiritual family has helped me more than you could ever know. When I didnt have anywhere else to go you were there, and now I understand the sentiment behind the Kate Bush song "as the people here grow colder, I turn to my computer......." Love to all and magic and healing x x x x IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 619
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted March 28, 2005 08:41 AM
Hey Natasha,I just looked at his chart - he has Saturn in Virgo 22 deg 7th house and his Venus in Scorpio 15 deg in 8th house - is that a sextile, and what relevance would it have to the "mother thing", thanks xIP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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