posted April 04, 2005 11:43 AM         

Starlover -
This man is no good for you. Fantasy. Neptune aspects?

Put your dreams and your passions in another place, a constructive place. Doesn't even have to be related to a guy.

You'll be okay. School will be over soon, and it will be easier to move on.

KEY

posted April 05, 2005 03:33 AM         

this thread has been going on for soooooo long...

drama drama drama...

posted April 05, 2005 01:19 PM         

And I don't think you've "paid your debt in full." You owe your professor an apology for your cruel, public outburst. Had he said, after creating a relationship in his head, that "StarLover is a tease and a b-i-t-c-h," (which would have been as unwarranted and inappropriate as your outburst), he would have been fired, even if you had stood up for him.

You and he are not in a relationship. You may have flirted. You may be attracted to each other (though like you said, we only have your side of it here). But this is not a relationship, and emotionally, he owes you no explanations.

The title of your own string is "I've Got Issues." This is true. The issue is: you have developed a crush on someone, and have interpreted the subject's actions to fit your expectations.

You are not "letting him go." He is not yours to let go. However, I think it to be more important that you "let go of your image/fantasy" of him.

No one here is spitting on you. You posted your dilemma in a public forum, asking for opinions and guidance. Perhaps our opinions are not what you want to hear.
But I suspect that they are what you need to hear.

posted April 06, 2005 01:45 AM         

heres a long dramatic story of a high school girl who got a crush...wow, how unique, because no other girl in the world has ever gone thru it.

blah blah blah

at first (you know, the first 20 pages of the first thread) i was appalled that LL was CONDONING THIS.
"oh, im a PISCES!! its all about feelings and dreams!"

so i never really posted because i didnt want to feed into this juvenile love drama.

how about honesty... Starlover created this ALL IN HER HEAD.

yup, im blunt today.
and since we all seem to let astrology take the fall for our human frailites and mistakes, im just going to blame it on Merc Retro in Aries.

wow, that feels nice to not take responsibilty for my own thoughts and actions.

*whew*

posted April 06, 2005 01:56 AM         

I will say that in the previous long long thread (Pt. 1, lets call it), I had been defending SL, because I remember when I was a senior in high school, and I did indeedy have a crush on a older man (not a teacher, but an older man nonetheless). However, it was PERFECTLY CRYSTAL CLEAR in my head that this man was completely inappropriate for me, it was just a Geminian fleety ooh I wonder how he looks in briefs sort of thing. I was a very flirtatious sort of teenager, I never had a meaningful relationship with a man till I was 18 and so before that I never even wanted or expected any relationship. I never even dated in high school. Yep, call it Loser or whatever else, but I liked making male friends, the notorious friend with the opposite gender thing, I had tons of guy friends in high school, but no sweetheart. I thought maybe SL was thinking about the same kind of thing, the kind of occasional oh hes so cute kind of thought in class when you catch a glimpse of a genetically gifted person. Little did I know that she had taken it all to heart so much and was so seriously attached and had so many unrealistic, completely fabricated sorts of daydreams/delusions.

Even now I have a tendency to date men a bit older than me (5-7 yrs), but now its different since I am older and more experienced as well, and also I am legal and not involved in the workplace or at college. I have been through much more in life than the ordinary person as well--a divorce for one, not to mention that I have a Masters degree which is way ahead (almost doogie howser-ish for someone my age). I have grown a lot with the years but the more I grow the more I see how little and naive I am, because there is so much more growth that can take place. It is kind of like how the more you know the more you realize how little you know, because there is a vast sea of knowledge out there to grasp.

I hope SL can take a semblance of this sort of attitude with her to her future endeavors, it could help reform her perspective on people, situations and her own responses.

posted April 06, 2005 03:58 AM         

Obviously she's aware of the circumstance that she's in...let's put personal judgements aside and help her with a way that COOPERATES with her.

posted April 06, 2005 04:35 AM         

what words did you find harsh?

(for future reference)

btw SL, I appreciate that you are willing to compromise with others judgement, you are eons ahead of me, and I applaud that you gained even more maturity from this than you already had.

Love
SG

posted April 06, 2005 12:23 PM         

I think what is harsh is Mother blowing her off by typifying her situation as unoriginal and "blah, blah, blah" I think Star Lover was looking for some validation and clarification with these topics.

SG--you tried to relate with SL33 with personal experience and that was awesome!!

posted April 06, 2005 03:04 PM         

it sounds like you are a very lonely teenager who doesn't attract a lot of attention. the loner, quiet kid in class. i also sorta think people at home don't pay too much attention to you too. so you feel really special when someone pays attention because it is out of the ordinary and you begin to like it, at first.

you'll learn a lot from this, and it won't be the last. you will meet all kinds of boys when you go to college and many will give you attention too. then you have to start learning social skills to interact and really figure out what it is they desire from you. you will grow into a young woman who has to learn how to take responsibility for herself. that is how you will survive and move on with your life. some day, down what i suspect will be a long learning curve, you must take the initiative to learn how to filter body language, intent, and appropriate communication.

that said, you have to take responsibility for the care of your body too. there are a lot of things that can happen when you expose yourself without thinking, like STDs, pregnancy, and the emotional hurt that takes place when you become with involved with less thoughtful people.

and lastly, i wouldn't be too hard on myself with what people are sharing. they are just sharing, and lots of people do that. nobody is perfect and certainly you are not either. just remember that there are people who find it easy to point things at others yet have problems with themselves too. some people have weight problems, some can't hold a steady job, some haven't found direction in their life, some have extra marital affairs and some don't see the value of acquiring a bit more emotional intelligence.

so just take it easy, one day at a time. and one day when you are older you know how it feels deep in your heart as a Mother with a teenage daughter who is doing things like this. hopefully you will pay more attention and know just the right thing to say.

love,

posted April 07, 2005 03:09 PM         

So, good luck.

KEY

posted April 10, 2005 05:04 PM         

I just want to say that I don't think you did anything wrong in posting your feelings here. I'm glad that you trusted us with your most intimate thoughts. You may have created a fantasy in your head and are dealing with the consequences now, but thats no crime. We all mislead ourselves sometimes and see things from a narrow, bias perspective because we're emotional beings, some a lot more than others. I don't think anyone is above that though. You just sound like a hopeless romantic to me with maybe a few lessons to learn about who to give your heart to and who not to. I'm glad that you learned so much from this experience and I hope your able to be strong through the next two months...and get your grades back up. And to be honest I don't think the age thing is as big of a deal as the fact that he's your teacher and he just doesn't see things the way you do. I think if your old enough to vote and drive and be considered a legal adult, your old enough to crush on older men if you please. Though I don't know your range of experience compared to his, that is another factore. I know that I wasn't a little naive schoolgirl at 18 (I'm 21)...lets just say I had been around the block, as most girls of our generation have. Anyways I just wanted to offer you my support and let you know I don't judge you in anyway and as Aphrodite so nicely put it, we all have our flaws, nobody's perfect.

Also I admire that you didn't get too defensive with anyone's posts because I could tell you were a little hurt that some weren't more heartfelt.

I'm not criticizing anyone here for the advice you gave to StarLover because most of it was wise and meant to be constructive, especially Secret Garden and Aphrodite (I loved what you said btw, esp the part about emotional intelligence ). I just thought I offer a little more emotional support from one very sensitive soul to another.