Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Mementos & Your Ex (Page 2)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Mementos & Your Ex
firelights
Knowflake

Posts: 57
From: india
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 29, 2005 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firelights     Edit/Delete Message
"I hear Saggies are prone to doing this...Linda Goodman even talks about it in sun signs..how we keep old tickets from movies we went to with people we enjoyed..etc.."

Oh!i didnt know this was a saggie thing...i do it all the time but i thought it was more the pises moon or virgo venus...
but makes more sense coz im a saggie ascendant.

IP: Logged

Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 587
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004

posted April 29, 2005 04:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
My ex has a saggie moon and he had in his apt
old pictures of friends and ex girlfriends.
Ticket stubs form concerts and plays ect that went back years. I thought that was strange.

I do hold on to pictures and voice messages and text messages, cards and letters. I like to go back and hear that persons voice every once in awhile. I hold on 2 stuff until all the feelings are gone.. :-(

IP: Logged

maya-v
Knowflake

Posts: 1142
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 29, 2005 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for maya-v     Edit/Delete Message
I am trying to sever ties with a Sag who has LOADS of stuff from me ... no wonder he keeps coming back ... those things are anchors to our time together.

That or maybe the Venus Trine Pluto in our chart!

Whatever it is, I would really like to erase this relationship form BOTH our minds ... its not healthy for either his new girlfriend or my amazing Scorpio, who has been really understanding and tolerant but whose patience I dont want to test.

Any suggestions?

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 3257
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted April 29, 2005 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Maya! I am so glad you got a Scorpio,
My ex had Venus conjunct pluto and his Venus was conjunct my Pluto and it took two years to empty our house out so I could sell it. He would always say he was picking things up and drag it out, I ended up threatening to call the Salvation Army and he picked up a few things..then they took the rest.

So, do that, just call them and get rid of the junk, he will try and hold on,

Away with materialism!

Hugs,
Natasha

IP: Logged

maya-v
Knowflake

Posts: 1142
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 29, 2005 07:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for maya-v     Edit/Delete Message
Awww Nat, you always have the best advice but you see in this situation, he has stuff I gave him ... at his place and since we are really not seeing each other anymore(the last I heard), I cant really get rid of it so to speak . And the stuff he gave me - simple, he never did so I dont have to bother abt that (thank god!).

So unless I ask for it, he is pretty much gonna have it forever and keep coming back, like a bad penny!

IP: Logged

Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 500
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted April 29, 2005 08:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
I'm a collector. I have pictures from guys I was with 30 years ago, those are fond memories. I have portraits of my ex and I buried in the closet. When my son is grown up, he can have them. I also kept some of the nicer "stuff" my ex had, like a big wooden statue of Buddha, a plaque made from Mt St Helens ash, unique things like that. I also kept letters -- for two reasons: so I could read them from time to time and remember how thankful and lucky I am to have escaped the psycho, and when I'm gone my son can see why he didn't ever know his father.
'zala

IP: Logged

maya-v
Knowflake

Posts: 1142
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 29, 2005 08:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for maya-v     Edit/Delete Message

IP: Logged

BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 255
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 30, 2005 04:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
oh zoso...he was a scorpio, but being a sag, I did a very scorpio thing and quietly turned around, closed the door and didn't say a word - but inside I was devastated and never let him see that - from that moment on, I closed the door to my heart for him (more like slammed shut!). I'm that way - once you hurt me like that, a door closes and you will never regain entry. He had no idea why I was so calmly silent towards him after, I would look at him as though I looked right through him, but that is how I truly felt. I know forgiveness is the way to live, but not with that kind of visual!!! It was awful at the time, but time has been kind and erased my feelings toward it.

pidaua...I do save every ticket, wine cork, you name it...even christmas gift tags with their handwriting on it!!


I am very sentimental, for some reason, phone messages mean a lot, almost more than the written word, although I will read and re-read a note or card given to me so I can let the feeling sink in (engrave itself ha ha). I love listening to someone's voice that I am in love with ...

IP: Logged

Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 500
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted April 30, 2005 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Blue ~

We are kindred spirits in this way....[quote]I am very sentimental...I will read and re-read a note or card given to me so I can let the feeling sink in (engrave itself ha ha). I love listening to someone's voice that I am in love with ...[quote]
I read and reread most everything that's important to me. The first time through I scan quickly for content, then the 2nd for depth, then the next time(s) for nuances I missed the first few times!
'zala

IP: Logged

PrincessO27
Knowflake

Posts: 92
From: Riegelsville, PA, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted April 30, 2005 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PrincessO27     Edit/Delete Message
I keep everything...although by the time my relationship is ending, we've had fights and i've gotten so angry and just ripped things up like pictures and old letters..then i just keep the ripped up pieces lol! But when i meet someone new i get rid of the last guy's stuff...i guess for respect issues, and anyway, if i'm over him why do i need to keep it? The memories will always be there...

IP: Logged

zoso
Knowflake

Posts: 338
From: Nevada
Registered: Sep 2004

posted April 30, 2005 06:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for zoso     Edit/Delete Message
BlueTopaz--that's awesome that you have so much self-control! What a stong woman you are. I wish I could be calm in such situations.

IP: Logged

BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 255
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 01, 2005 09:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you zoso...


I just wish I felt that way with the Aquarius guy I am in love with...this guy sends me into orbit. Don't know if it's his unpredictability + my unpredictability or what...Aquarius & Saggies are a lot alike in many ways. This man has my heart and he knows it, an unfair advantage because I never know with him. I take that back...I do know with him, he just loves to take opposing viewpoints and loves to debate with me 'cuz I like to talk about things too. He throws me off sometimes.

IP: Logged

sweetlibra
Knowflake

Posts: 303
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 02, 2005 01:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweetlibra     Edit/Delete Message
I have seen my Sag keeping everything (even print outs of emails from a chat friend!) over the years he collected.
For me, once the relationship is over,i dont keep it dearly.i'll happily return it if my ex asks for it. but i dont like getting back the stuff i gave.

------------------
Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it,
The more it will elude it.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
it comes softly and sits on your shoulders...

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 03, 2005 05:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
I keep pictures of the ones that are over but with no negativity. As in it sort of coalesced into friendship from love. Those were worth remembering.

The others i throw and never even remember and dont even want to.Why should one remember something thats painful. Memories should always be sweet.

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3221
From: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted May 03, 2005 04:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Maya,

You can only be responsible for your own feelings, you can't make your Sag stop feeling for you.

As far as Saggies and mementos, please don't be under the false impression that is anchors us to the people, it doesn't. Out of all the exes in that box (and there are at least 15 to 20) there have only been two that I had ever really missed and wanted to talk to again. The items are just for memory sake - they don't bond or make us want that person.

He is still talking to you because of one of two reasons 1) you are now a challenge 2) he misses you (not because of those items).

If you want him to stop interferring with your relationship with the scorp then you need to cut the tie.

IP: Logged

maya-v
Knowflake

Posts: 1142
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004

posted May 03, 2005 04:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for maya-v     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Pid! Yeah, you maybe right. I did try, a couple of times, to cut the tie but see the thing is, there is always something left unsaid and then one of us has to come back and finish it and then something else comes up and ... the thread is always kinda left open. But yeah, now I have to find a way to really cut the tie, if only because there is no way in he!! I can stay just friends with this guy whom I have shared much more than a conjunction of Venus and Pluto - the ghosts themselves wil never let it be a normal, healthy friendship!

Besides, I have a tendency to kinda let him walk all over my feelings without even letting him know - and that cant be healthy for either of us!

Thanks for the push in the right direction - now I just have to take the steps!

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3221
From: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted May 03, 2005 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Heya Maya,

How are things? I would say that since you are the one that knows about the power of Venus - Pluto, then you'll have to be the one to let him know where you stand.

Saggies are known for popping in and out of people's lives. We will also talk about "Hey remember when we made out under the stars? Man you made my tummy flip". We may even flirt with;.."yeah and I'll bet it would flip again" But, keep in mind that we are philosophical by nature, sometimes saying exactly what we are "thinking" but not what we are "feeling".

I have a Saggie guy friend that tells me he is still waiting for me to marry him. He sends me letters and cards..little mementos..but I KNOW he is a big flirt lOL...and he really doesn't want to marry me.

Being firm is hard. I have a Leo that is alot like your Sag, that comes and goes in my life. He tells me that he still loves me and even brings up very intimate situations that we have shared. He doesn't want to give up on the hope that someday we will be together.

IP: Logged

OceanicDreams
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From:
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 06, 2005 11:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OceanicDreams     Edit/Delete Message
I am not much of a sentimental person, so I do not usually keep anything at all. I just throw it away or burn it, though it is more fun to burn the mementos... Iíll just burn pictures or letters...little things. Iím not about ready to build a bonfire in my backyard...to torch the whole kit and caboodle, though it would come in handy at times.

The way I see it is I have moved on it my life; they are no longer a part of it. With me, when someone is out of my life, they are out of my life and there is no going back. I see it as pointless to hold onto something when itís not there anymore.

For instance, my Capricorn friend holds onto every little thing that she can...every relationship she has ever been on...or any date she goes on. I mean, taking the napkins from the restaurant you just ate at with your date...then proceeding to write down the date and time is taking it way too far. Then after her and her boyfriend at the time breakup, she pulls out the stash of stuff she has collected and goes through everything, lamenting...torturing herself repeatedly -- wanting something back that she cannot have.

For some people mementos are a way of keeping the past alive and for others itís an affirmation of their memories. In some cases (like my friend's), I think mementos can be damaging, because if you let them, they bind you to the past.

The past is a past for a reason... Thatís why I leave it there.

IP: Logged

26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 7448
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted May 07, 2005 12:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
I hang onto things from exes sometimes. I dont really think about it. Just because it's from an ex doesnt automatically mean I'm going to burn it. It's just another 'thing'. If it's useful, I'll keep it.
Cards, letters....yeah, I still have some of those things. And pictures!!! I'm a picture freak. I have soooo many albums of pics. I'd dont throw pics away. Theyre special memories from your past. But I've also almost always remained friends with my exes. When it's over, it's over. I wish them all the best. Even though it's over I dont ever feel the need to trash all of the things they gave me. So, I do a little of both. Keep a little, toss a little. Who cares? LOL Just another 'thing'! Must be the strong Uranian influence in me...??

IP: Logged

Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted May 07, 2005 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
OceanicDreams~ Well said. I am trying to be more like you and get a little better at letting go. I'm not terrible, but there's definitely room for improvement. I feel like I am in a bright new phase of my life, and some of the old stuff really has to go.

Your post helped me see that; it struck a chord.

IP: Logged

OceanicDreams
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From:
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 07, 2005 04:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for OceanicDreams     Edit/Delete Message
Gooberzlostlovefound--

Congratulations, on your transition! Itís a wonderful feeling, isnít it? I understand what you mean when you say you feel some of the old stuff has to go. Itís spring-cleaning season anyway, right...

You said you feel as though you are in a new stage, and if you feel the need to get rid of some things, then do as you see fit. Keep the things that bring you fond memories, and wing out anything that doesnít resonate well with you. Out with the old, and in with the new... The new additions to your memento box that is.

Hereís an idea if you like doing crafty things... Maybe to signify this transition in your life, maybe you can get a new box, and decorate it with paint, beads, pictures, magazine or newspaper clippings...anything you can imagine -- go wild. This way, you have an updated memento box filled with positive things...

Then if you want, you can take the old box and throw the mementos that you want to discard, and you can take the box and throw it away, or heck, you could even bury it if you want...plant some flowers or plants over it -- tada. So, youíd still always have the mementos; theyíd just be in a better place...

I have to confess, your original post made me go and rummage through my room...seeing if I did in fact have any mementos that I didnĎt know about. I did a search and destroy mission... The only thing I found was a big over-sized sweatshirt. It is soooo comfy. I donít know if Iím going to throw it out...Iím a sucker for comfortable clothes.

Well, I guess it is a memento in an odd way...I stole it from an ex. Hmm...I wonder if that still counts? Thatís the great thing about tall guys; I get to steal their sweatshirts. lol

So, maybe Iíll keep the sweatshirt, and you can do some memento spring-cleaning if you wish...

IP: Logged

Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 07, 2005 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
I keep pictures, but don't have them out. I have kept letters and notes as well, although I never read them; I think the Cancer rising in me likes to hold onto that kind of stuff, it's a link to my past.

It's also nice to remember - exes were a big part of your life at one time, and contributed in many ways to who we are now, so sometimes it's interesting to reflect on who were were at that time, how we've changed or grown, where we made mistakes that contributed to the demise of the relationship, or, if we remember the relationship with rose-colored glasses, it can help bring up the unhappy memories to remind us what we don't want in a relationship, bring us down to reality with how things really were, etc.

I think eventually I will get rid of certain things, it's just a matter of time. Once you've moved so beyond a relationship that happened many years ago, there's no point to keeping much beyond pictures.

IP: Logged

LovelyLibraLady
Knowflake

Posts: 134
From: Gotham City
Registered: Jan 2005

posted May 07, 2005 11:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyLibraLady     Edit/Delete Message
I hide them away in a drawer with all my other secrets.

IP: Logged

sassygrrrl
Knowflake

Posts: 594
From: U.S.A.
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 08, 2005 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassygrrrl     Edit/Delete Message
I keep anything and everything. I would be horrified at the thought of destroying anything, especially the photographs. Because even with the relationships that ended badly, those experiences made me who I am today. Even if I have the momentos put away in a box and no plans to look at them for the next fifty years, I like knowing that they are there.
...And also because I am basically a sentimental fool. (natal Jupiter in Cancer in the 5th House)

IP: Logged

Deira
Knowflake

Posts: 132
From: Kerman, Ca, USA
Registered: Jul 2004

posted May 10, 2005 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deira     Edit/Delete Message
well it depends....

On how much the relationship meant to me. With my firts bf, lol I actually kept the shirt I was wearing when we first kissed. I was like 14 at the time I think. I do have that Sag tendency of storing trinkets in a box, but then future bf's find them and discard them.

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2005

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a