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Author Topic:   Mementos & Your Ex
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 26, 2005 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
Do you hold onto mementos of your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Letters, photographs, tickets, jewelry?

I know some people like to get rid of anything and everything that reminds them of an ex. Their motto is: "throw it out, give it away, burn it....just get RID OF IT!!"

And then some people (such as myself ) put their relationship mementos in a shoebox and tuck it away somewhere in the closet.

And some may even keep mementos around in a visible place. (I would think that could be pretty detrimental..how can you move on if you have a photograph of your ex sitting on your dresser?)

Is it sentimental to hold onto this stuff, or is it just plain bad for you to keep anything like that around, even if it is "out of sight and out of mind."

So....do you hold onto this stuff a little bit, a lot, or not at all ?

Why or why not?

Looking forward to responses and hoping everyone is having a relaxing & peaceful afternoon,

GLLF

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merratti
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From: Ny USA
Registered: Mar 2005

posted April 26, 2005 02:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for merratti     Edit/Delete Message
HELL No! It went out the door with him as he was pulling the tinsel off the tree!!!!

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proxieme
Knowflake

Posts: 4694
From: Southern 'Bama
Registered: Aug 2002

posted April 26, 2005 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for proxieme     Edit/Delete Message
I tend to burn them, but, then, I have a Scorpio Asc and a very hurtable Taurean Venus.

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 587
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004

posted April 26, 2005 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Well I guess thats were I am having problems with getting over my ex I still have a beautiful picture of he and I and my mom sitting on my desk here at work. I gurss when all the feelings are gone I will remove it. I am that sentimental Pisces...

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Peaches
Knowflake

Posts: 31
From: London
Registered: Apr 2005

posted April 26, 2005 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peaches     Edit/Delete Message
I would only keep the practical things. The clutter can go.

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Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 26, 2005 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
Peaches~ What do you consider "practical"?

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Peaches
Knowflake

Posts: 31
From: London
Registered: Apr 2005

posted April 26, 2005 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peaches     Edit/Delete Message
Items I can make use of, such as clothes etc.

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 255
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 26, 2005 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I keep everything from past relationships...to me, even though it's ended, there was some good in it. I have to honor that part.

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moonshine
Knowflake

Posts: 338
From: UK
Registered: Oct 2004

posted April 26, 2005 05:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
I keep everything in a box. Even if i hated the person, my cancer sentimentality can't let go.

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 8151
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted April 26, 2005 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
I have some writings.
sentimental things.. not of everyone, but the ones that mattered.
I was going to get rid of some letters I had from my son's father so many years ago.. but then I thought.. what if my son would be comforted to know that he was born of people who loved... So I kept them.
My mother has a love letter she kept from my dad, way back in '69... I am so glad to see it.

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seveneieghtorange
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From: scottsdale, az
Registered: Jan 2005

posted April 26, 2005 06:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seveneieghtorange     Edit/Delete Message
i get a lil bit sentimental with stuff like that...even with sweet text messages or voice messages i used to keep, but i am getting better at throwing out things and not looking back. it used to take me months and months to erase messages, but now it's getting better.

The only thing I really have left of an ex is a cd he mixed himself and he made it for me. But I don't listen to it, i just like it to be there in my desk.

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 279
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted April 26, 2005 07:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
I wish I could. I am so UNSENTIMENTAL. I tend to throw stuff out if I don't like it and if I do I can't seem to attached anything of the person, Ex lover or best friend to the object...I love going to others spaces and listen to the stories that they attach to differnt objects...they seem to 'love' them (or hate them depending...) I wish I could do that...

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Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 26, 2005 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
Total Pieces~ What you said is really interesting. It sounds like you wish you were more sentimental than you are, and I think it's unusual that those who are less "mushy" actually desire to be more so. That's kinda neat, I don't think I have encountered that before ....*wanting* to possess a greater level of sentimentality. Kinda rare, I think. (in a good way )

Other than in relation to material objects, do you consider yourself to be a sentimental person? For example, if you hear a song that reminds you of a past love, does that really get to you or not?

This has been really great to read everyone's responses...

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future_uncertain
Knowflake

Posts: 832
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted April 26, 2005 10:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
I tend to do both, even with items from the same person. Some things I'll burn or throw away, then later I may find something and keep it.

For example, I burned pics of my most recent ex during our breakup. But I still have a few pics of him on my computer (my son is in them, but that may be an excuse) and I have a letter he wrote me after we broke up.

I have a hard time letting go of the past. I like looking back over things and seeing how far I've come (or haven't!)

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Secret Garden
Knowflake

Posts: 700
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 26, 2005 10:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Secret Garden     Edit/Delete Message
it depends on how the relationship ended.

i do tend to keep photos etc. my leo mom forcibly confiscated all my things from my marriage and sent them back to my ex hubby...but if she hadn't , i would have asked him if he wanted anything back, if not i probably would have kept it.

another ex, a Leo, really hurt me, and i didnt want to have anything of his around. yet still i have a pic of him on my computer...if that counts...

ive never really gotten gifts in any of my relationships. none of the men i have been with have been generous. the virgo hubby spent things that were 'cultural norms', if he didnt buy me those things (that were mainly wedding presents) people would have said, tsk tsk what a bad husband he didnt buy the traditional wedding gifts.

ive never gotten a birthday, valentines, anniversary present from any of my significant others,

yeah it kinda sucks,

esp seeing that i spend so much money on them...

SG

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 255
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 26, 2005 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I keep old phone messages, I guess even to this day I still like to listen to their voice and go back to how I would feel at the time, hearing their voice...and I still have a ring an ex gave me even though I ended up hating him because I walked in and he was in bed with someone (he had really, really bad judgement with her, couldn't believe it)

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zoso
Knowflake

Posts: 338
From: Nevada
Registered: Sep 2004

posted April 27, 2005 12:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for zoso     Edit/Delete Message
Good God! Blue topaz, I would have flipped my lid!! No one would have left the house unscathed.


I like to keep things in boxes and tape them shut, stored away until my feelings are more neutral. That way I can relive the moment when I'm good and ready. Plus, my memory forgets so many little things. Sometimes I even keep things that remind me of pain. Not to dwell on it, but just to remind myself why I've chosen certain paths. Is that weird?

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Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake

Posts: 544
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 27, 2005 01:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
zoso~ No, it's not weird.

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sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 3257
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted April 27, 2005 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
I used to keep everything, and now I throw almost everything away, especially gifts. If they are letters I save them, but not cards, or small tokens. Furniture and big items have to go as people ask too many questions. I am better at getting rid of everything now.

Photos are the worst,

Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon

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firelights
Knowflake

Posts: 57
From: india
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 27, 2005 02:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firelights     Edit/Delete Message
im the worst...
i collect stuff even while im in a relationship...small things...tokens...
so that if i break up eventually i have some memories....
even if i was sure it would'nt end i'd still save stuff...i have a bag full of things that remind me of a guy i majorly liked in school...
and it's not just things related to that guy...it's that time.
i keep empty perfume bottles...and i usually dont buy the same perfumes again...
so everytime i smell my old bottles....ah!I'm transported to that time.
but no photos...photos don't bring it back like things/writings/fragrances/songs do.

pisces moon/virgo venus mars

sometimes the sag asc n sag jup/uranus kick in....
and then i want to throw everything away
which i always regret later.

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Peaches
Knowflake

Posts: 31
From: London
Registered: Apr 2005

posted April 27, 2005 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peaches     Edit/Delete Message
Total pieces~

Ditto!

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3221
From: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted April 28, 2005 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
blue topaz / zoso,


I keep all my exes mementos in a box..it is my memory box where I keep old photos, little notes..etc.. on a few items that remind me of that time. I also have photo albums from college and other times with pics of old flames.

All my things are in a bigger box or suitcase, locked up or sealed. That way, I have them and I know they are there, BUT...I don't really look at them.

I hear Saggies are prone to doing this...Linda Goodman even talks about it in sun signs..how we keep old tickets from movies we went to with people we enjoyed..etc...

I do..I keep them..I have (and this is the first time I have ever done this) a scrapbook for Mr. T and I.

But..I just can't throw away the mementos..even the painful times make me feel alive..and teach me to learn from those mistakes.

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Total Pieces
Knowflake

Posts: 279
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted April 28, 2005 05:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Total Pieces     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Gooberzlostlovefound...sorry I've been computerless the last few days...

Songs do bring back memories sometimes but it just has to happen...in fact only one Ex has a song and that is because he played it all the time when we were together...I thought of it as our song...he thought that I liked the album so he played for me all the time...although he is a very sentimental person...(Ex's!!!)

I think what most non mushy types don't realize is it isn't the stuff that matters it is the feelings they arouse...it is the openess to that I wish I had

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Tranquil Poet
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: In hell......well sometimes
Registered: Apr 2005

posted April 29, 2005 08:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Tranquil Poet     Edit/Delete Message
I have alot of pictures from the scorpio I dated for a couple of years. But that is only because there are so much and they are scattered.

He kept hundreds of letters and poems I gave him. I still have the engagement ring. he refused to take it back. My mom wears it LOL.


To bad he was a skank.

With my current boyfriend I keep little e-mails, text messages, notes, movies, songs.


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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 4004
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted April 29, 2005 08:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
I have kept the pictures, just not on display.

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