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Author Topic:   E-Harmony.com
Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 04, 2005 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Yesterday out of curiosity and boredom I took the E-harmony questionnaire/psych test thing. I'm still married, though soon-to-be-divorced, so I didn't submit my profile for matching (which is against their rules anyway, they ask you to certify that you are not married in their terms and agreements)...just wanted to see what all the buzz was about, and how accurate it is.

OMG...if anyone is single, or not (you can fill it out and not have yourself submitted for matching), I would highly recommend taking that test. It's free (unless you want to use the matching service). I was amazed at how accurate their personality profile was, in terms of your communication style, strengths in a relationship, needs, etc.

I can't comment on the quality of their match service, 'cause like I said I didn't sign up for that, but just out of the gate, if any guy actually has the patience to do it (it took me over an hour, it's fairly long and in-depth), there's a good chance he's serious about finding a LTR.

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with the service or has taken the test?

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1026
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted May 04, 2005 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
I took the test a while back - turns out, I'm unmatchable

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 04, 2005 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
?!?! What?! Unmatchable? What do you mean? What happened?

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1026
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted May 04, 2005 03:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/000915.html

Read and weep

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 04, 2005 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Wow. Maybe it's because I'm a Scorp, I dunno, but if they were to tell me I'm that unique I would be kinda proud. It would be a bit disheartening, sure, to think that it's going to be that difficult to find a match, but better to have to wait and find someone who is a good match, even if they are a rare breed than settle for someone who is just kinda like you.

I think it speaks more to how sheep-like everyone else that takes that test is.

I mean, I read what it said about Juni, and the majority of it was positive - if those kinds of positive traits are that rare, it speaks more to how screwed up the majority of humans are, sadly.

I found what it had to say about me to be very accurate. Like I said, I didn't do the matching thing, but with the accurate profile it came up with, if there were no matches for me, then it just means that the kind of person I need isn't the average bear - which means I need to find my bear in a less traditional place (ie; a place where all the sheeple don't go looking for love )

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GemStar
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2004

posted May 04, 2005 09:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemStar     Edit/Delete Message
What is the mystery about it being accurate? YOU answered the questions...right?

A personality test shouldn't be a surprise...you should know who you are in the first place...why are you viewing it as a surprise? There is no mystery in the summary of yourself. Nothing new. (Unless you do not know yourself so well...)

At eHarmony, the parameters are set fairly wide so you have less of an opportunity to choose someone who you would be physically attracted to...the fact that the inside of a person is the focus makes it a nice idea...it is an interesting place to start with someone whom you want to explore for a LTR.

If you answered honestly, the matches you will receive will have similarities to your interests. Again...keep in mind that there are people out there in the world who think online matching is a game...and even though they may have spent the time to fill out the questionnaire, it doesn't mean that they are truly serious about meeting someone. Be careful.

Since you are still married, I would recommend that you take care of your personal issues first..then take ADDITIONAL time for yourself before involving another person in your life. (That is if you want a successful relationship post-divorce).

Please understand that I am not trying to be difficult...just passing on some general advice...it is truly meant with good intention.

Best of Luck!

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 04, 2005 10:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
What is the mystery about it being accurate? YOU answered the questions...right?

A personality test shouldn't be a surprise...you should know who you are in the first place...why are you viewing it as a surprise? There is no mystery in the summary of yourself. Nothing new. (Unless you do not know yourself so well...)


It's a surprise because all personality tests are not accurate. I did not expect a personality test at a daing website to actually be accurate.

quote:
Since you are still married, I would recommend that you take care of your personal issues first..then take ADDITIONAL time for yourself before involving another person in your life.

I guess you did not thoroughly read my initial post:

"I'm still married, though soon-to-be-divorced, so I didn't submit my profile for matching...just wanted to see what all the buzz was about, and how accurate it is."

quote:
Please understand that I am not trying to be difficult...just passing on some general advice...it is truly meant with good intention.

If you comment with good intention then perhaps you should read that which you are commenting upon more thoroughly.

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 05, 2005 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry if I came across sharp earlier, reading your post was bad timing on my part.

Incidentally, your advice would be sage advice had I stated that I was out on the dating scene.

But just a quick note, if you don't know all the circumstances, such advice does appear presumptuous and obnoxious.

A friend of mine was in a marriage for quite some time; rather than divorce they agreed to a marriage of convenience, or more accurately, an extended seperation for tax purposes. They were both dating other people, which was a mutual agreement (and those they dated were aware of their situation), they had both dealt with the emotional issues behind their divorce, and eventually they did finalize the divorce.

My point being, unless you know the circumstances, it's a bit presumptuous to give advice such as take "care of your personal issues", to someone you know nothing about, about a situation you know nothing about.

I realize you've said that you meant no ill will, but since we don't know each other, and you nothing of my situation, perhaps a bit more discretion in unsolicited advice may be warranted.

Please understand that I am not trying to be difficult...just passing on some general advice...it is truly meant with good intention.

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viper
Knowflake

Posts: 193
From: Jersey - Channel Islands
Registered: Jan 2005

posted May 05, 2005 02:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viper     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Isis,

wow, cat fights on the threads.....

Gemstar is, as the name gives away, a Gemini and from my communications with her, I would offer to say a very intuitive one at that. She meant no disrespect to you, I think she was genuinely assessing your initial post and simply rationalising it into a non judgemental or intrusive format to raise certain points which I'm sure you had already considered.

Gemini's (and my father is one) can make logical sense of most scenarios - without becoming personal.

I haven't done the test, but it sounds interesting.

In a way most of these tests are not unlike astrology in terms of character analysis, have you related what you discovered to your own chart? do they synchronise???

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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 4003
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted May 05, 2005 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Isis,

I'm using eharmony.com and I do agree with the company to a certain extent, on how they design their personality assessments into multiple models of what creates successful relationships. The report provides assessments into key areas we may not always be able to verbalize on our own. They bring those qualities into sharper focus and to our attention. I see them as pragmatic roadmaps, but of course not an end all.

I have met a number of gentlemen through the site, and I have to say that the personality matches and quality of men through eharmony.com have been far superior than other sites and in the average day to day social scenes. Of course, GemStar does have a point with her analogy of "online matching" as a game to some. However, I think when there is money involved (about $30 a month), and lengthy "get to know you" questions involved with each and every candidate, the more fleeting personalities generally would not consider putting in the investment of time, money, and thought. The whole process is simply discouraging for these types personalities over the longer-term horizon.

Aphrodite

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 05, 2005 12:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Viper - I couldn't really draw any connections between the things it said and astrology necessarily - although I guess one could draw the conclusion that I find my chart to be accurate, and their personality test to be accurate, so presumably there are some connections...

I'm a Scorp, Libra Moon, Cancer Rising, have tons of Libra and Scorp in my chart, 5 planets in Scorp and Pluto in the 3rd, here are some comments from my profile and my guess as to what planetary or sign influence causes it:

You love challenges and competition. Those who know you may consider you to be a high risk-taker. Scorpio?

You will take issue and not shy away from confrontation when others disagree with how you feel or think. Pluto in the 3rd

You are skilled at finding "win-win" solutions when conflicts arise. Libra influences

You like to analyze problems and discuss their possible solutions before taking action. Defininitely Libra influences

You generally don't like to back away from a challenge. Scorpio

You tend to be influential in decision-making situations. Others often turn to you for advice. Cancerian influences

You are optimistic and tend to make others feel good about themselves. Libra/Cancerian Infl?

You are socially poised and people-oriented. Definitely Libra.

Thing is, some of these things I would in another person attribute to a fire sign influence, however I have no fire in my chart except house cusps.

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 05, 2005 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Ahprodite - I'm glad to hear you're have success with the site, at least insomuch as you've had some positive experiences, even if you haven't found "the one".

I agree that any man that is willing to put the time, effort and money into an endeavor like E-harmony is at least serious about finding a LTR.

Once I'm free and clear of the marital situation and ready to date again I think I just might give the site a go. It didn't disqualify me immedately, so who knows, maybe one of these days I'll be on an E-harmony commercial with some rakishly cute man...although the thought of marrying again at the moment makes me a bit nauseous...

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1026
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted May 06, 2005 08:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
Isis, I miss you around!

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 07, 2005 03:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Yin

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sassygrrrl
Knowflake

Posts: 592
From: U.S.A.
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 08, 2005 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassygrrrl     Edit/Delete Message
If E-Harmony is unable to match you, I wouldn't take it personally. I have heard that the founder of E-Harmony is a fundamentalist Christian, and that E-Harmony.com will not match you if you are not a member of an 'approved' Judeo-Christian religion. So I assume that Atheists, Agnostics, Wiccans, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. need not apply.

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 08, 2005 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know about whether the founder is a fundmentalist Christian, but that's not at all true about not matching non-Christians.

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sassygrrrl
Knowflake

Posts: 592
From: U.S.A.
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 08, 2005 05:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassygrrrl     Edit/Delete Message
Well this is just what I heard from other people who were rejected by E-Harmony as I have no personal experience from E-Harmony myself as I have never joined their service. But the rejectees claimed it was because of their faith or lack of one. But I would hope it wasn't true.

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1092
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 09, 2005 05:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
I only know one person besides Aphrodite who uses the service. When I saw your post I checked with him 'cause he's non-religious, and he said he checked "non-religious" and gets matches.

I'm not sure what religion Aphrodite is, but maybe if she comes past this post she can tell us what her experience is regarding that.

And ya, I would also hope that isn't true - no reason why two Buddhists couldn't hook up through the site. Essentially, a Buddhist or Hindu's money is as green as a Christian's is, and since the site is for profit, it wouldn't make sense to exclude any one religion.

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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 4003
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted May 09, 2005 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
No, I didn't mark Christian.

I most likely checked Decline to State if there was one, or Other.

And, I most probably checked that I was open to a guy in any religious denomination.

I have gotten matches who were Buddhists, Zen (?), Tao (?), Christian, Protestant, no religious affinity, etc.

I have a friend who was not eligible the first time taking the test. Then they took it again and got in. This person is not Christian.

Hope this helps

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