posted June 11, 2005 08:08 PM         

If he did the same and told you, how would you feel about it?
Since these are feelings it's not really about changing your behaviour right? or is it?

Do you feel guilty??

My ex b/f a Gemini would relieve himself constantly in my bathroom and tell me about it. I felt as if he was punishing me which he was for not satisfying him enough. I never forgave him, and I have Pluto trine Sun. I feel he could have talked to me about what was wrong, or spent that time with me.

So I would talk to your Scorp,

posted June 12, 2005 01:50 AM         

quote:

---

I'm thinking if you weren't supposed to touch it, you wouldn't be able to reach it!

---

Is he insecure about his skills in bed and thinks you aren't satisfied by him, and therefore require 'supplementation'???
If these are his feelings ... address them.
Clip as many Cosmo articles as you can....
make sure he knows that solitary pursuits are the sign of a healthy woman.
Even one in an established loving relationship... the happier one is, the more they do it.
IN fact, the more satisfied one is, the more inclined to continue that level... and feel the desire to 'know thyself'.

posted June 12, 2005 02:07 AM         

quote:

---

if you enjoy your own body alone, it means you don't need me

---

Dump him

Seriously..

I really don't like the way he said that, personally.. "if you enjoy your body" WHAT how about 'I'm not "enjoying my body *alone*" I'm sexing myself..get a life!! sheeesh

I really just don't like people who express themselves that way, it sounds very dodgy and weird and it makes my skin crawl (but that's just me) and if I was you that sentence alone would be a complete put off for the next 10 years or so. I could not have sex with that guy ever again eewwww put off galore

"enjoying your body" like it's some kind of separate entity NOT YOU.. does he have some queer idea that your body is his since your his gf or something along those lines? Because for that I think I'd have him commited or sent of to some BDSM cult.

On the second part "it means you don't need me". I think he has insecurity issues he needs to sort out with a psychologist. Sounds very clingy/needy..No thx

quote:

---

I see nothing wrong wiht the human body, and I'm feeling more like a possesion than a person....

---

posted June 12, 2005 12:15 PM         

Well I'd say that the whole situation depends on other factors as well, such as if this is a sensitive topic within your intimate relationship or maybe you even had some kind of argument or something similar..
I too agree that his behaviour is not acceptable and indeed very immature cause it proves lack of respect and understanding of doing what you did and have every right to do.
But since you mention here that this dude is a scorpio it really made me think of trying to get inside his "thinking" and emotions.
It is very irrational behaviour, yes, but I believe I can relate to how he is feeling cause I have to admit that I have felt this many times in the past, and yes, I hate it, and it is ridiculous, but I have my ascendant and mars in scorpio lol
So therefore, as I remember these past experiences and how I myself react in a situation like this, I felt as if, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, these extremely powerful emotions going through the depth of my soul came to the surface and I had no control over them whatsoever and I never even knew I could feel like that at all, cause I never do in normal life dealing with work or friends etc, but sometimes, in these intimate issues, I can all of a sudden feel that scorpio energy rising, and as I also have moon in aries it makes me to react in a very hot tempered irrational way.
And since I don't have any issues with these intimate things, thinking I am unworthy or not good enough sexually, I don't really understand how it's possible to react the way I do. Maybe it's cause I feel if someone would perhaps play some kind of game with me by saying such a thing that I'd might see it as a threat and react extremely defensive trying to do everything I could to pinch the person saying so. I don't know, it's not so easy to explain, I have experienced alot that these crazy scorpio feelings are so difficult to handle, I can't control it at all, but it's really no big deal, and after a while I am cooled off and everything is fine again But in the heat, it's dead serious hehe
But I also think of that 2 of my ex boyfriends were like that.
The last one for instance, I went away on a trip to visit my family, and he would call me every day as usual, and every time before we finished the conversation, he'd say
"Oh, and btw, do you touch yourself etc etc?"
and like "please don't do that until I see you again"
Like, he was so "worried" of what was going on concerning that issue.
But I don't think it was because he was insecure, but instead maybe a very passionate way to show how much he really wanted the sex to be something sacred between just the two of us, and if it wasn't, if I could get that on my own, then what he contributed to me in bed, wasn't him or his emotions a part of, maybe he felt that, I don't know. He was a cancer with scorpio moon.
He was incredible possessive and jealous, but NOT in that way.
So my advice to you with this guy, don't take him _that_ seriously if he gets all fired up and pinch you, instead try to look beyond what is bothering him, and give him a hug or whatever and try to cool him down, cause it's not easy for him to deal with those toxic emotions I believe...
But this topic also make me think of porn and men and all the times I read about that many women say that they are jealous of their bf's watching porn cause they feel they are not supposed to do that if they are in a relationship and that _they_ should be way enough, and find it extremely hurtful if they do so...so I guess it's normal somehow

posted June 14, 2005 12:55 PM         

How do you feel everytime you engage in satisfying yourself, in other words - do you go into doing it cheerfully, reluctantly, guiltily, a way of passing time, as a means to fully satisfying yourself, etc., etc., do you do it often (a few times a day) or every other day, everyday......etc., etc., etc.

posted June 14, 2005 04:17 PM         

Amisha, I don't really do that too often. When I do, its like a self love feeling of peace if that makes sense. The irony is that I think of him and stuff we've done. Our intimate relationship is very good, this is just a "me" thing. Thats all part of what I discussed with him.

Thanks everyone for your awesome perspective

posted June 15, 2005 12:50 PM         

quote:

---

The last one for instance, I went away on a trip to visit my family, and he would call me every day as usual, and every time before we finished the conversation, he'd say
"Oh, and btw, do you touch yourself etc etc?"
and like "please don't do that until I see you again"

---

Anita, did he masturbate while you were away? Did that go for him as well or not?..

And Planet_Soul...doesn't he ever do it? lol

posted June 20, 2005 03:46 PM         

then again, sometimes you can do that (masturbate) and think of someone so much that they feel it......sometimes at inopportune moments.

posted June 22, 2005 02:47 PM         

I have an ex-boyfriend that masterbated constantly. It really really bothered me. Not because he did it, but because he always seemed to do it right after we had sex. So that made me feel he wasn't satisfied by me. He assured me he was and just enjoyed doing it. He enjoyed it so much, get this .... he wore sweat pants alot or shorts, and he would cut the pockets outta his pants so he could touch himself at any time. Which most of the time, his hands were in his pockets, er, where the pockets should have been. In public and everything. It really disgusted me!

And older friend of mine once said, and i believe it ot be true, if a person says they dont materbate they are lying , cause everyone touches them selves. And for guys, if ya shake more than three times your playing with it!

It my body and i have a right to touch myself!! besides it works wonders on relieving stress, cramps or even a perk to a bad day!!!