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Author
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Topic: Is money stronger than love???
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nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 68
From:
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 18, 2005 06:44 AM
 
Hypothetical question:Would you give up financial security and genuine love from and for a good person for financial insecurity and a once in a lifetime love/passion? Please dicuss. IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 3670
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 18, 2005 12:47 PM
a genuine love?? are you saying an affair? I dont' find private, mysterious sex fun. Some like the thrill of danger, but I don't find that kind of man attractive unless I felt he or I were in extreme distress. (as in a war).Natasha
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Isolaede
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 18, 2005 01:55 PM
Pixelpixie: I'm with you completely. I've never been impressed by a man that flaunts his money around. I'm an independent person and I don't need someone to take care of me financially. As such people that try to use money to sell themselves never get anywhere with me. Emotional connections are what gets me. I could never be happy in a sugar daddy relationship – one where there was no love. I need someone to share this life with me equally. For me that sharing goes both ways – I want to take care of someone and be taken care of. Hah – I wonder why balance is such a big focus for me? Maybe it has something to do with my North Node development (North node in Libra), or perhaps just because of the things I learned from my first few relationships.
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Isolaede
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 18, 2005 02:02 PM
Nannyfish:Financial security aside, would I give up genuine love for a once in a life time passion? Heck no. Passion is like a fire – it flares brilliantly and then dies away. Sometimes that flare is so brilliant it transforms us, but ultimately fire consumes. If we are lucky it quiets down into warm, cozy embers over the years, embers that can be worked into fire again with a little gentle attention. Often though the flame of passion just vanishes after it’s single spectacular burst. I think of genuine love like those embers. Oftentimes in long term relationships, where there is real love, the passion may not feel as brilliant as it once was, but it’s warm, cozy, comfortable, and safe. And there’s always the possibility of fanning those embers into a fire again. But those “once in a lifetime” passionate loves are like the initial flare of fire. You don’t know if they’ll settle down into cozy embers – instead there’s a good chance they could burn you up and leave you empty. I’d take a lasting love I could trust over a passionate one any day. : ) If that lasting love happens to be one where my partner is a good person and is financially secure then all the better – because in that situation I have a true partner – and believe me, from my experience, true partners are rare and hard to find. I hope that all makes sense. *hugs* : )
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 3670
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 19, 2005 12:01 AM
What about romance, why all this passion stuff? Maybe some of us would prefer a courtship, where we can "feel" the romance rather than a quick roll in the hay.
Why are the two options, love, and sex?There is a third option. Lovesex Natasha
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Planet_Soul
Knowflake Posts: 422
From: The Universe
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 02:51 AM
I agree with a lot of what has been discussed. I don't have a second house moon, but most of my first house is occupied by Capricorn. I understand your points, SG I'm fairly similar. I'm not attracted to a man just because he's wealthy, but he must have some ambition and be driven to succeed. If the man in question is content to just be lazy eating doritios all day, then yes I will be majorly turned off and leave him in the dust. I don't want to be rescued, but as Isolade said balance is key. I want to be met half way. Sometimes, this isn't possible but as long as the guy is trying and it isn't a perm. state.... then I'll be patient.
I've had to be patient for the beginning of my relationship, but its paying off now. He was only 19 years old when we moved in together, and I made much more than he did  We were both working and going to school full time, so yeah it was hard on both of us. Not terribly bad, but on some days it did overwhelm us.
Despite his young age, he never stopped trying. He did his best to help out both with the fiannces and with the running of our home. Two years later, he has switched over to another company and now he makes more than I do. He now shares with me just as I used to share with him, hooray for the scales of balance.
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nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 68
From:
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 06:21 AM
Hehehe...It's a hypothetical question.Geniune, comfortable, maybe not-so-passionate and financially secure love vs. Once in a lifetime/soulmate, passionate, mind-melding but financially ambiguous love To get the debate onto a different level. I think it's really easy to say..."Oh love is the most important thing a person can have and forget everything else. But if you were given a choice between the two which one, honestly, would you take?  IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 3670
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 19, 2005 08:53 AM
there is no such thing as financially ambiguous, either you have ambition or you don't. I can't ignore the entire person for their sexual identity.Natasha
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nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 68
From:
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 09:55 AM
sthenri: So ambition/security would win over soulmate/once in a lifetime passionate love? Seriuosly, not trying to wind you up, just trying to pin down your answer  BTW, passion doesn't just have to mean sex...at least not from a Scorp it doesn't :P IP: Logged |
Isolaede
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 01:42 PM
Hmmm… is the comfortable love already established? I’m guessing yes, because most loves feel mind blowing in the beginning. If so, then my vote is still for the comfortable, cozy love. : ) If I'm with someone that means that I once felt a real connection, and passion with them. If that intense feeling has faded, I believe it will only be a matter of time until we fan it back into life again. I'm also incredibly loyal. When I devote my life to someone it’s a permanent thing. However, if I were to meet two people at the same time, one of which was financially struggling and the other of which was well off, it would be more of a toss up. Money just doesn’t sway me, for me it would depend on which fellow made me feel safer emotionally – which one felt more like “home” to me. Ultimately, I’d want someone that I could settle into a nice cozy love with. I’m looking for the long term. Temporal passionate affairs just aren’t my style.IP: Logged |
Planet_Soul
Knowflake Posts: 422
From: The Universe
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 04:58 PM
Agreed, my vote is also for the stable love. The passionate one, been there done that. I think we really do have more than one soulmate, and sometimes we tend to get carried away w the soulmate ideal. I ask my self if any solid loving bond can measure up to the romanticized scrunity of our idealized "soulmate" bond??? I'm not trying to come across as a sour apple, but how many people don't get all wrapped up in the passion at the start of a love affair only to realize later that it wasn't all that deep? I once got carried away in the midst of an intense passion, one I still remember fondly. I do think we were/are kindred souls, but the point of it was the lessons learned and not that we are "meant to be together". Frankly, I'm very happy that we aren't together anymore but thankful that we lived,loved, and learned. I might not be the person I am today w/o that experience. I just don't think its healthy to get so emeshed be the feeling of the "one" that you miss the very happiness which may jsut be right in front of you.IP: Logged |
nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 68
From:
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 19, 2005 07:02 PM
I like this discussion Very thoughful answers. Anyone on side for the soulmate/great passion love?IP: Logged |
miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 370
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted October 21, 2005 09:37 AM
Love goes out the window when the stomach gets hungry... Specially when it is your kids' stomachs that are hungry.On the other hand, that would imply that the person you married is a lazy son of a gun. So, love can go out the window pretty fast that way. Miss Muffet IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 1326
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted October 21, 2005 12:16 PM
love is important but money too is . i get repulsed by people who show off money and i dont think , i would ever be with someone for the money , i amtoo egoistical for that . i think money can't make a relation but it ofcourse can destabilise a relation for sure . IP: Logged |
nannyfish
Knowflake Posts: 68
From:
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted October 21, 2005 12:25 PM
Money for the win!!!! :PIP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 1326
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted October 21, 2005 12:33 PM
love is important but money too is . i get repulsed by people who show off money and i dont think , i would ever be with someone for the money , i am too egoistical for that . i think money can't make a relation but it ofcourse can destabilise a relation for sure . quote:
I think if the love is real, it should survive anything. You don’t only love someone when they’re strong…but leave them when they’re down. Shouldn’t relationships have financial ups and downs? Is that enough to make you leave someone? And if it is, perhaps it’s not love.
Makes me think!btw, i dont have any 2nd house placement , so may be money is important for me . i have had money , i know i can make it fast but it has never stayed . my bad luck always strikes
still hopeful to be the richest oneday !
actully , i have backed off from relations where i felt my status wasn't good enough when compared to the girls . thats why i agree with isolaede and pix. forme , u can't ever drag a relation , it has to be contributed in every which way by the partners. love is very important but paying the bills are too !  IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 3670
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 21, 2005 12:46 PM
cancerg brought up status which is another item. Would the passionate/soulmate love bring status in some way? If I could write a book about it then I may go for love.
Actually I have gone for love before an I may go for love again because that feeling makes me secure. I have been with a rich man who made me feel he didn't know me one day from the next and gave me nightmares because I couldn't tell lif I could count on his loyalty in a bad situation. Made me feel so cold.So it would depend on my own inner security, the passion would have to be on both sides. If the passion is on both sides and things look good for a future I would take that and make it work without money. is that an answer? Natasha
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Hedgewitch
Knowflake Posts: 369
From:
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted October 21, 2005 12:56 PM
yes, with love you can accomplish
anything.....money without love can eat your soul
alive and wring your heart dry...if
love, affection and warmth are lacking. IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 1326
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted October 23, 2005 12:38 PM
quote:
cancerg brought up status which is another item. Would the passionate/soulmate love bring status in some way?
Oops !
mixed up. as for your question , i think it will , atleats i will . may be too old fashioned but i wont be able to be real self in a relation where i am not an equal in everywhich way .
this is my opinion as of now , it ofcourse can change. IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3970
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 23, 2005 12:45 PM
I know of someone in my family who said she would rather die than be married to someone who was a plumber or an electrician....her hubbie is the director of a company and is probably quite wealthy.I cant help feel that people whose uppermost intention is to marry for financial security end up having it come back on them in some way......where as with love  , that is a different thing......oooohhhh give me that lurvvvvve thing anyday...... xxx IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3970
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 23, 2005 12:45 PM
dpIP: Logged |
Iqhunk
Knowflake Posts: 209
From: Chennai
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted October 24, 2005 04:17 AM
If your Man really loves you, he will try to make as much money as he can for adding to the happiness over and above the emotional love. If you love him, you will accept whatever he makes without comparing with what other girl's men make.
As Simple as that. IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3970
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 24, 2005 06:55 AM
IqhunkI have a man just as you described.....he works for himself and very hard......I tell him often how very grateful I am to him. He was raised by a money conscious family and when we met was very keen to keep this going......funnily enough of late he has become more balanced, Sixteen years down the line, he is beginning to listen to me.....hahahahahaha !! I see some women who put their blokes under so much pressure to provide, buy them clothes, jewellery etc. I am lucky cos I dont relate to this....but cant help feel sorry for the guys. Of course it is just another way to fill that void isnt it.....money I mean....very much like booze and drugs I suppose !!! love to all
Sue xxx
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lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 4447
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted October 25, 2005 12:42 AM
Ok, a gold-digger is just as lamo as a leech. You guys nailed it when you said balance was the key. So, the answer to the question, is money more important that love - is no, and yes. Depends what you don't have enough of.  But seriously, you ever notice that things don't become an issue until you're not getting any? Sex too. And bathes. And chocolate. Whatever. The Libran principal of balance is so key in relationships. This is a good thing to remember, me thinks. I think I'd be happy with someone who makes HALF the money as me, at least. I'm not a gold-digger. But I'm not an enabler to an anti-social weinie who can't hold a job either. Balance.  IP: Logged |
Hecate
Knowflake Posts: 71
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted October 25, 2005 12:54 AM
Great replies, wisdom and balance... you have to love it here. When I started this post, I was involved with someone who's a great person but not so great at fianncial obligations. We tried cohabilitation, and it just did not work out. I don't view myself as a GD or money hungry, but he wasn't able to even share HALF of the bills. I loved him then and I still do, but the resent and stress of carrying this burden on my shoulders became too much. he isn't a bum or anything, but he has no education or formal training for a full time. He did try, but his part time job just wasn't cutting it. I hanged in there as long as I could, but it got too draining. Rather than killing the feelings I have for him, I asked him to move out. IP: Logged |
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