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Author Topic:   love sick
dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 722
From: west siiiiide!!!!!!!!!
Registered: Jun 2003

posted August 03, 2005 09:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
Why am I always attracted to people I can't have? Does anyone else experience this, and what are some ways to get over it? They tend to be people I am already close to that see me as just a friend. It's hard for me to relate to most people on a personal level - I've been told I have trust issues. I've never been in a relationship, although I am relatively young.

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 1104
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted August 03, 2005 11:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Gosh, i dunno... I think you pegged it yourself though, babushka....
Trust issues. You feel safe when you don't have to risk actual relationships.... you can harbour a safe, secret crush that moves you yet disappoints you because it is unrequitted.
Maybe one day it won't be unrequitted.. maybe it already isn't?
You work through it just be being aware of it.
After all, friendship really IS the best place to start a relationship.
Keep talking. I wish I had better advice.. but you do need to share..... and I know you will work things through better when you can rationalize them yourself.

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Svetlana
Knowflake

Posts: 86
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted August 04, 2005 12:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Svetlana     Edit/Delete Message
"Why am I always attracted to people I can't have?"

Maybe if you change your feelings from wanting to "have" someone to ones of "sharing" something wondeful with that person, then the whole pattern might change.

Love and Light all ways

------------------
You can't lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
J. Peers

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purple_scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 253
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted August 05, 2005 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hey dorkus, how do you feel about your self-worth? It's also common to be attracted to people you can't have because they can't let you down. So, you won't get hurt, because they won't reject you....they can't because their not available in the first place.

Does that make sense?

with love
purple_scorp

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WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 362
From:
Registered: May 2005

posted August 05, 2005 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message
Looking at it from a different point of view, maybe you prefer challenges…I know I do.
The person you can’t have seems more desirable.
My Venus loves a challenge ( although my Sun likes to deny it ).

But if you do think it could be a trust issue…then I agree with the others

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

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