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Author Topic:   lack of passion in a person?
moonshine
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posted January 02, 2006 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
what can contribute to this? By passion I mean, sexual - in a relationship.

I have recently finished with a Libra man, and while i really did love him, mentally and emotionally (still do), I never felt that passionate in bed. I tend to just go through the motions and not actually feel anything. We really connected in other ways though. But of course no man is going to stay in a relationship where there is no sex. Perhaps things would have been different if I was more passionate. I think he got bored and I dont blame him.

Its not just him either, I am like this in all my previous relationships. I find it easier to be more passionate about someone when they're not around!

I have sun in virgo, moon in pisces, and ascendant in cancer and I think all these things contribute to a lack of passion, expecially the cancer. Also I have venus in virgo, Mars in Aqua retrograde (in 8th house, if that helps), and a crapload of horrible aspects such as moon opposition Venus, which as Ive read is supposed to be really really bad!

I am so sick of it.. my love life's non-existent and I feel that things will never change.... what can i do about it or am I just cursed??

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marsconjunctmercury
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posted January 02, 2006 06:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
Hmmm i did think 'Pisces something', when i read the title...
Ummm well i personally associate oppositons between Virgo and Pisces planets with what you seem to be exhibiting.
I know one girl who is gorgeous but has no sexual passion whatsoever. She is Sun in Aquarius. She has been out with boys for months even years without sleeping with them , and when she finally allows it, for her it's clinical and awkward. She has an oppositon between Venus in Pisces and Mars in Virgo, and quite a tight one at that. I don't think she'll ever change and i think she knows it, as i discussed it with her after i did her chart (which she was amazed at because i included all that stuff in there, and was pretty candid even though i didn't really know her that well).
You're near or at Full Moon aswell which makes you even more sensitive to the stimulus that is troubling you. Maybe you can't let yourself go because of this hyper-sensitivity but through a process like exposure to it you will lose your inhibitions. Probably presence of inhibitions rather than absence of passion. Full Moon people are usually pretty rampant in the bedroom.

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight U.K

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sthenri
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posted January 02, 2006 06:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
I have moon in Cancer and I get that way with Libras. It's not you, I think, sometimes if you are really passionate about something and the person you are with is into that, it's sexy. If that person doesn't care, then it's not sexy.

The trick is to pursue men who are really into what you are passionate about. Such as if you are a teacher, pursue men who are in education. Or if you are looking for a job, talk to men who want to help you with your resume, or interviews because they are in that field. Next thing you know the passion builds. Or someone at work, not in the same deparment, someone who does what you would love to do.

Every man I have been passionate about was sexy because he did something I wanted to do, an artist, a lawyer, here and there I figured out how to drive the train.

Recently I met a bunch of men, I always do on NYE if I am single and I told them what I was into, right away I picked out the ones who were most supportive of my goals, instead of the sexy ones who were just nice and available. The passionate ones were at first not available and then were, and the single ones turned out to be non available.

So it's good to go with your passions first and then go for the guys, rather than the other way around. Otherwise like me, you could spend two years in France with an artist because he wanted to go there.

It's good to drive the passion, so next Friday night, take out another girl and talk to a man you are interested in at work, or elsewhere and talk him into doing something with you, just as friends.

Make lots and lots of male friends and there will be passion in what they say and do.

I literally felt nothing when my libra ex would make love to me and felt I was dying! Now I see that I am always going to have to chase the passion in a constructive way. Do not believe it's the man who makes it happen because it can die,

If you are getting a certain kind of man over and over again, look at what you are telling them, what you are striving for. Certain kinds of men look for a woman with no direction and they are aimless. If you want passion you have to appear driven, or at least more motivated. It's tough with a water moon, sometimes I just want a cuddle, but then there will be a man for that someday.

Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon

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BlueTopaz124
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posted January 02, 2006 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
and...another view point - to me, if there is passion, a spark between us, a meeting of minds if you will, is there...the banter and give and take in conversation...it will grow from there...that, and liking sex...some people don't (I say 'people' meaning women or men, I know a couple of women who don't like sex) Having a common ground of interests, say, if you both like photography or travel, things will naturally take on a life of their own.

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moonshine
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posted January 02, 2006 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for your answers. This is the first time I've been out with a Libra and believe me, I really thought this was it. We really connected, talked and bantered about everything, and even travelled together to various places for fun romantic days out. At one point we were spending every single day together. He was interesting funny and warm and I did fall in love with him.

But in bed I was the same way, as usual, damn me. But he was great - he said he thought I was shy and it would get better the more we got to spend time together. I was just starting to trust him when he has stopped calling me and I dont know why.

marsconjunctmercury, you're right, inhibition does play some role in it. Im always inhibited, even in non-sexual situations, but I think the make-up of my chart and aspects is too significant to ignore.

sthenri, I am trying but i find it hard to keep up the enthusiasm to find someone. Most of the time I just want to hide in my room and hibernate! I think my mars in aqua makes me want to avoid difficult situations and being in the 8th house means sexual situations, so that is the area I tend to avoid, lol. However I think and dream about finsing a soulmate all the time. I guess part of me is always disappointed with reality.

My new years resolution is to try harder to find my soulmate, but I guess i need to lick my wounds for a while first.

Oh WHY couldnt i have been born a Scorpio?!

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marsconjunctmercury
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posted January 02, 2006 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
Scorpios can be shy too you know, even sexually.
Have you got Saturn conjunt your Cancer Ascendant (like me). D.O.B?

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight U.K

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sthenri
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posted January 02, 2006 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
moonshine call up the Libra and say what's up? Libras like a little conflict once in a while, my ex loved it when I called him. Those conflicts are what creates passions too. And I wasn't really into him for a while and then we hit it off, then it tapered off again due to physical problems. It wasn't steady.

Like you said you are dreaming about it and wanting it to be perfect. Make more male friends and they are happy to be that-just friends if you say so at the start. Feelings can come from nowhere.

Do you meet any interesting men at work?
Are you near a city?

Natasha

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Azalaksh
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posted January 02, 2006 11:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
moonshine ~

Please don't even think for one second that you are "cursed", or condemned by your planetary positions. Astrology is just a way of recognizing *potential* -- what you DO with that potential is UP to YOU.

For every "inhibiting" aspect that you might point to in your chart, I can show you someone who is not letting that aspect hold them back from what they want in life.

You wrote, My new years resolution is to try harder to find my soulmate I think that it might be better to NOT try so hard, in fact, this in itself *may* be what is holding you back..... would your life be ruined or a total loss if you have not found your "soulmate" by a year from next Thursday?? It bothers me that many people are searching so hard for their "other half", someone to "complete them", and think there's something WRONG with them if they haven't found Mr or Ms Right by such-and-such a time.....

How have you developed your own Self?? Do you have a career or hobby that makes you happy and fulfilled, or are you looking externally for your internal fulfillment?

I think that your own expectations and yearnings for a "soulmate" could possibly be tying you up in knots inside. When you are more relaxed and at the right place in your own head, and come across the right person, I think the passion will take care of itself!

marsconjunctmercury ~

I have Mars in Virgo opposite Moon in Pisces. I don't find either of these signs a problem in the Passion Department, in fact, I think they're a fine combo!!!

Zala

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Aphrodite
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posted January 03, 2006 03:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Moonshine,

Did you ever get a report from the astrology website I suggested not too long ago? The astrologer's name is Galen Halimar. You were asking about your love life back then.

Aside from astrology, have you considered the possibility of seeing a professional therapist? I think having a trusted person who is a trained listener and has no bias is helpful in helping us understand ourselves better.

Good Luck

Aphrodite

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 04:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Hi marsconjmercury, I dont have that particular one but I do have Sun Square Saturn and Moon opp pluto which do not look too good to me! Here's the list of my aspects. My birthdates 06/09/1971.


Sun Conjunction Venus 228
Sun Quincunx Mars 034
Sun Square Saturn 612
Sun Sextile Ascendant 346
Moon Opposition Venus 624
Moon Trine Jupiter 751
Moon Opposition Pluto 729
Mercury Square Jupiter 153
Mercury Square Neptune 305
Mars Trine Saturn 537
Mars Trine Uranus 001
Jupiter Conjunction Neptune 112
Jupiter Sextile Pluto 022
Saturn Trine Uranus 538
Saturn Opposition Neptune 554
Uranus Square Ascendant 312
Neptune Sextile Pluto 134

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 04:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
sthenri: hmm... I have called him but I suspect that he is avoiding me because he does not like conflict situations! (One of the things we have in common and we talked about it when we were together). After a few unreturned calls I sent him a Happy New year message and told myself that if he does not respond to this one then it will be final. Well, he didnt respond and still hasnt, so Im trying to stop it in my head and move on. I suspect his ex-girlfriend might also have something to do with it, but I definitely think my lack of passion didnt help keep him to me.

You see, I dont have a problem actually meeting guys and attracting them - I met a nice one on New years Eve (not my type tho) - its just keeping them! I start worrying from the outset what will happen when I first meet someone which does dampen things to start with, and I guess Ive developed a bit of a complex about it now. I live in London and i have plenty male friends who are "just" friends, I just dont fancy them! Most of the time I dont fancy anyone.

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Azalaksh, I know you're right.. thanks for your straight talk! I havent been "actively" searching for someone for a very long time, years even, but I met the libra because a friend put me up on an internet dating site. I dont want to go back to "searching" and I dont expect someone to complete me, but at the same time I do want to be with someone. With the libra we talked so much about our lives and feelings, and deep issues, (for the first time I was truly honest about myself with a partner) that I felt I learnt more about myself than if I hadnt been with someone. Which is why it hurts so much more. But perhaps that was meant to be his role in my life, karmically, to teach me stuff but then to disappear? I dunno!

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lalalinda
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posted January 03, 2006 05:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
There are many indications but one that stands out in my book without fail is Mars in Aquarius. Low sex drive. (remember, anything can be modified)

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 05:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Aprodite.. I bookmarked your site but no i didnt get a report because soon after that I met the libra.. think i will now, see what it says... Ive considered a counsellor in the past but avoided it becuase it makes the problem more 'real'... after this relationship i'm starting to face the problem head on, hence this thread, which took me a few weeks to work up the courage to start. Maybe I should join a psychology forum too, lol.

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 05:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
lalalinda, do you think that could be it? is there anything I can do about it (apart from stuffing my face with oysters next time i meet someone)?

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Aen
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posted January 03, 2006 09:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aen     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
There are many indications but one that stands out in my book without fail is Mars in Aquarius. Low sex drive.

My experiences have been very different. Mars in Aqua - very tuned, sensitive and, well, creative. Extremely driven. My Mars in Scorpio was really pleased.

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Duality
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posted January 03, 2006 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Duality     Edit/Delete Message
moonshine, astrologers always say to look at more than one signature in a chart to conclude anything but from what you say it seems like the main culprit is Mars rx in aqua in the 8th. Mars in aqua is very detached and when in rx and in 8th....
Can you post your birth data?

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moonshine
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posted January 03, 2006 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Duality,

Its 6 Sept 1971,
12.37am
Calcutta, India.

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moonshine
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posted January 04, 2006 06:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
umm.. just wanted to bump this.. sorry for being all me me me at the moment ... just in that kinda mood lately

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marsconjunctmercury
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posted January 05, 2006 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
Don't want to throw a spanner in the works but my Aries friend Rich' has Mars in Aquarius and he is a sex-addict. (And i'm not joking - he really is.) We're talking he would see a nice girl at a bus-stop. Drive ahead. Wait for and get on the bus to try and have sex with the girl. He will come out with any amount of BS to get what he wants from them.
He has even had sex near a bus-stop at which he met a girl some moments before (in the middle of the day).
He has introduced me to girls that he has slept with the night before and not even been able to produce their name - and he doesn't really drink! His insincereity is gargantuan, as is his appetite for sex with new partners.
He has Scorpio rising with the Moon in Scorpio though, and Venus in Taurus (always good pullers).
It goes beyond a joke to the point where he has been out of control to be quite honest. Goodness knows how the girls fall for it. They do seem to have one thing in common though - they always seem gullible to the point of being thick. Some of them are attractive, increasingly so more recently.
I don't know anyone else like him except maybe 'Chico' from The X Factor.

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight UK

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Hexxie
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posted January 05, 2006 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hexxie     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Moonshine! Do you think you could have some deep rooted 'issues' with sex (from this lifetime or another) that may come out as this lack of interest/passion? I mean it very well could be the natal chart to blame, activating certain feelings such as this in you, but, you say you've always been like this. Maybe it's as simple a thing as someone else said here - get into touch with yourself. Figure out what you like, what turns you on!

Check out what you said: "I was just starting to trust him when he has stopped calling me and I don't know why." Perhaps to a sensitive soul such as yourself, you need to get to know someone 1st then think about having the sex?!!! It sounds to me like yer just a more introvereted & sensitive type and would fare better choosing more meaningful, trusting relations (shoot, we all would! It's just that some people are just 'wired' differently and can handle sex w/o love.)

Also remember, one dosen't need to be 'on' all the time! Emotions & passions fluctuate. I can relate to your story because for me it's either 'feast or famine'. I'm either a wild insatible beast or an abstaining monk. I'm feeling guilty cuz i'm in my monk phase and it goes against my Sun in Libra need to please. I could very well be the epitomy of inconsistancy haha! I have a few placements I would like to blame for this as well (thank you Uranus conjunct Venus in Scorpio, 5th house!). And even if your not in the mood, if your significant other dosen't take the time to 'get you there' then it serves them right! To quote a good friend of mine "You'll get nothing and like it!"

I think you'll be just fine after you do some soul-searching

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`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll

:::Libra Sun / 29* Gemini Rising / Aquarius Moon:::

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moonshine
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posted January 06, 2006 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
marsconjmercury: perhaps the mars in aqua gives your friend a "detachedness" when it comes to falling in love, but not when in comes to sex (poss because of the scorp influences), whereas my case is the opposite.. I am detached about sex but am obsessed with the idea of love.. poss becuase of my cancer and pisces influences. whaddya think?

mmm.. i wonder what cico's signs are?

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moonshine
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posted January 06, 2006 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonshine     Edit/Delete Message
Hexxie: thanks for your reply. I am going to write you a longer message in a bit as I have to go out for a short while.

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marsconjunctmercury
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posted January 07, 2006 07:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with your comments about the Aquaian detachment effect. I think that's one of the factors that let's my friend behave the way he does and not have a conscience about it.
Well i think the Cancer contribution makes one tactile, and always looking for emotional closeness personally. What's your exact D.O.B etc Moonshine and i'll have a look and think?
Adam

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight UK

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sthenri
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posted January 07, 2006 08:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
while we are getting off the subject of moonshine's question, I can't help believing it's more about emotions than detachment.

As for that guy being discussed with mars in aqua, if he didn't feel bad why discard the partners? It's because he knows what he is doing is bad-that's the reason for the compulsion towards the new. Old partners will have sex just as much and in new places-but it's too goody goody.

Everyone has guilt, that's what makes it dirtier, more fun, less responsible.

When a person equates responsibility with sex it can be confusing because in our society we get the message that sex is fast, hard, mean, a little bad. Nothing to do with love. Most poeple just go along with the crowd, there is nothing new under the sun.

A big focus on LOVE instead and how it's expressed can help solve the issue with sex.

Anyways, I am going to buy a friend a pizza, congrats to his new job. That makes me feel sexy and loved, and I am sure everyone benefits from an expression of goodwill once in a while.

What people believe is sexy is what they see on TV these days, don't buy it! Sex can be a way to say I care, or goodbye, or hello or there can be cuddles, half a cuddle.

Be good!

Natasha

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