posted May 30, 2006 11:58 AM         

How to keep your relationship spicy

Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent that they make a contribution and that it is noticed.

When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You should immediately offer a hug, a kiss or some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner.

All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. Along weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don¡¯t tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the television. When you get home, you¡¯ll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks.