posted May 25, 2006 11:04 AM         

Now a days I see married couples around me going for "Open" relationship where they both have their own lovers outside relationship and they end up living together because of child happiness. (I am sure it didn't happen with my parents.)

Reason given for this couples were : They no longer have same feelings as before or they are just bored.My parents were happy as they were in different generation.

(I agree and disagree for these reasons as I have never been married or been with someone 24/7.)

My question is how someone can keep relationship going ON or interesting?
OR Is it really possible to keep relationship interesting ?

Why relationships always have to be FUN ?
(I never questioned or got bored talking to my family or my siblings so Why when it comes to husband or lover it always have to be so "special" and "perfect".I think sometimes we give way beyond more importance to that bf-gf relationship or husband-wife relationship. Are we really getting less tolerant or less compromising? I wouldn't say where relationship gets really ugly and violent one should stick around. Relationships ending up as Open marriages or Divorce makes no sense to me.)

posted May 25, 2006 01:15 PM         

Me being a Taurus and he an Aquarius, we found out the best for us to live apart.We are deeply mad about each other just like in the very beggining, but live together never worked for us. Actually, if the thought of be with someone 24/7 makes me shudder, let alone an Aquarius.

In the bright side, our relationship is always fresh, interesting, fun, very pleasant. Our curiosity about each other is huge. We can't get enough of us.

Its not a matture thing? We can't compromise and try adapt to each other? As an example, he loves to live in the neck of the woods and I can't think about live
in any aother place, but close to the sea.

We think we don't need to go through the compromising part to have a realtionship.We get together when we really want to do so and not because we live confined in the same place. This could become a chorus. I've seen couples living in the same home like strangers.

What kills a relationship in most of cases is the day to day little things, get to know each other so deeply that the other
is not so interesting anymore. Its when the relationship got so flat that the other can't surprise you anymore. When we are togehter again, we have always a hard time trying to keep up in each others hapennings! Our relationship is indeed fun.

You might want ask me about the build a life together, like a suburbia home with kids, pets and and friends gathered to enjoy a backyard BBQ in the weekends.

The answer is yes. We would love tho have them all. But we can't have it all. So, we made a choice. I believe this is what
make us faithful to each other. It was a choice. Its not an imposed thing like when couples get married and the demands begun. Things like now we "need" to buy our starter home, now we need to have children, and so on can really kill a relationship because there'll be always some "noise" running underneath these "goals" at least for one person in a couple. This could hapen naturally when people get married, its the expected form the newlyeds, but in my thoughts is pushed by the society.

I believe our kind of relationship couldn't be called matture, but its pretty honest. I agree 100% when you say some couples keep on living together when the big love went through the drain for their kids sake. I won't make any judgement about people who do so though, but I wouldn't like to go through this torture till the kids grow up and went to college to get a divorce.

posted May 25, 2006 01:52 PM         

what i saw is that;people can not tolarate each other or just to want to change each other..if this is not happen they can easily choose someone else..and they exhaust everything...they use everything..as this time technology and new glabal world only are tool..and you know people'brain are 2 edge..good and bad...but i think technology bring us some antisocialism and loneliness.so we are in computer world..we can not see people enough..as we live in our world as one person we decide for only one person...

dear freebird;i also want to know how we keep relationships going on....

posted May 25, 2006 01:54 PM         

I admire your decison to to break away from "the norm" which often doesnt work for a lot of people.

My parents who have been together for hundreds of years have now admitted in a round about way (well my mother anyway) that they are a little fed up with each other.

I told her to go get another man and she said "oh its a bit late now I am 81... Bless her......

The Age of Aquarius is upon us.....people will start to break away from their conditioning and instead decide to do what brings happiness, rather than what is expected of them....

How on earth can we be happy if we decide to stay in a relationship/marriage that has gone stale, or is loveless....

It really doesnt make sense....

Does it.....?

xxx

posted May 25, 2006 03:38 PM         

Thanks for understand. Its not easy to break away from our society rules. Our relationship is often frowened upon by many people, not only family, but even close friends.They don't want to know if we are happy this way. They rather like us to be within the herd.
____________________

"The Age of Aquarius is upon us.....people will start to break away from their conditioning and instead decide to do what brings happiness, rather than what is expected of them...."

posted May 25, 2006 05:54 PM         

My hubbie has Moon in Aqua and has found it hard to live with me at times, as I have him. We have been together for 17 years and have a little boy together who is 7.

I can see that your arrangement could work very well, and if we werent parents, I think a similar set up would work very well. It can bring excitement to the relationship and keep it fresh....

Funny cos I was talking to a woman recently whose husband is an Aqua and they have just decided to live in separate houses and meet just at weekends.

Sounds very sensible to me.....and if anything it could strengthen the bond.

After all the old saying "familiarity breeds contempt" wasnt written for nothing...was it.

Good luck to you and yer man

posted May 25, 2006 08:12 PM         

Aquas are very particular people. But when they commit its for sure. Maybe the woman you know, married to an Aqua, should give it a try.

This saying : "familiarity breeds contempt" says it all! I'm from another language and I didn't know it. I've seen couples, young couples,living like old pals. I can get old couples living like though. Looks so comfy.

posted May 26, 2006 12:04 PM         

Not sure about the big love thing....I know LOTS of couples who just stay together for fear of loneliness, like will anyone else want them, for the kids, for financial reasons....

And i think the irony is,,,,,people like you and me...who would explore other avenues of keeping a relationship going, do have big love....because we care enough to want to make our marriages work....

If you see what I mean....!!

posted May 26, 2006 03:37 PM         

Supposedly there is a big love drawing people together in the beginning, isn't? Like when my knees seem to melt when I hear my Aquas voice at the phone? The eagerness for each other? Got breathless? LOL

Couples indeed stay together for several reasons then love. Very sad... Love is such a great feelling that we should struggle hard to keep it alive.

posted May 27, 2006 03:55 AM         

I agree it can be a struggle to keep it alive....

Many women I talk to say they find their man tends to sit back a little more after theyve been together a while. Some men need a jolt maybe after a few years of marriage....just to be reminded that their woman is worth treating well.

For me, if the passion goes out of a relationship, its hard to, at times, keep it going. Some couples I know appear to hardly even like each other, I feel this can be due to spending too much time together....maybe...

Yes separate houses....wonderful.....then at weekends the couple can meet and have a lovely romantic time together....

You have me thinking now.....hahaha...

posted May 27, 2006 10:29 AM         

I love the way you write......so profound and deep....

posted May 27, 2006 01:26 PM         

Sue G

Glad to hear you are giving a serious thought on this subject.

Live in separate places getting together only both really want, and we always want it baddly could keep the passion and interest going.

posted May 28, 2006 01:07 AM         

Aqua Love: Interesting post and I would say you are doing what works for you and your relationship.That's cool.

posted May 28, 2006 02:07 AM         

Everybody now a days say that variety is spice of life and everybody gets bored by eating same dish evryday.
I agree, Chicken Chicken everyday. Anyone would be bored of eating chicken in the same way. Does that mean that chicken I bought I should throw away ? If you are bored you can cook it differently. Roast it, Fry it , Boil it or something else or cook it Chinese Italian,Vietnamese, Japanese,etc way. Ofcourse it's same chicken and you spent some time, money and efforts to bought it in first place.

So it depends on how good are your cooking style is. i.e. Relationship skills.

If you are not a good cook you can't blame that you just have old boring chicken.It means you are not a great cook and instead of freaking out that it's just old chicken one has to do something about it.

The only thing is nobody wants to be is a cook instead it would be easier to Shop.
It's much easier to throw away chicken and get a duck.It's easy shopping you see. It's easy to shop.Easy......way out.Shopping is what I call temptation of meeting new and interesting people. Relationship fails then and that's when people cheat or think that their partners are cheating as relationship doesn't have spark left.

I am sure my parents were better cooks to keep the relationship going on and also there was no easy shopping.Divorces in my country are easier now then before.

Relationship goes through different phrases... Where attraction is strongest called "honey moon" phase and after that it wears off.Everything seems so perfect but it isn't and then reality strikes.It gets boring. Where we see imperfections of our partners and they see ours and the first thing one wants to do is just run away instead of dealing with them.

They say love happens....remember.
It's struggle to keep it alive is something I think is foolish.It's just a DREAM. It's a BIG IMPOSSIBLE expectation. It would never be lovey dovey all the time.Love can't be kept alive and you can't make someone love you all the time. It would have been so boring if I always had that romantic dinner and mushy ness.Only thing one can do is keep their relationship going on.What's wrong being room mates or friends ???
Relationship isn't only based on love....there is so much more friendship, respect, trust, understanding, bonding,etc.

Only time it gets stale is when relationship is based on sex, money,domestic violence, etc. That's selfish. That's time one should walk away.

But when love goes away everyone freaks out. Thinking about cheating or getting cheated.Looking for new adventure?

It's never going to be back like before. One can't be in same phase. Relationships aren't about just that attraction right? They go deeper and deeper and still one person would never know another completely.( atleast a scorpio like me) Relationships go through ups and downs and to keep it going needs RELATIONSHIP SKILLS or just need to ponder or seaperation for some time.

I am not saying that one should stick around when they think it's not worth the time and when they have tried everything.It's just that I see people just getting less compromising and tolerant.

I also believe that relationship shouldn't be judged or taken as other people wants it to be but to work out relationship is something are in our hands and not in someone.

(I learnt from you girls. Seaperation keeps it going too.Cool !!! Anymore Relationship skills to share and how to keep relationship going on. Any great cooks here ?....lol)

One can go wider or one can go deeper. It depends how one wish to go. Wider or deeper.
When I say wider means to get another lover or several lovers. One can't know each other completely and when relationship gets boring I think one should give time to each other.

DO YOU REALLY FIGHT TEMPTATION OR HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH TEMPTATION ? (to buy duck)

If you agree or disagree both is fine as I am just trying to know how relationship works? and I would love to know more and discuss.I am curious.

posted May 28, 2006 02:08 PM         

the chicken/duck thing its a very good analogy! And I agree with you about people being less tolerant and compromising now a days. I'm one of them Spite being a Taurus I do need my "space". I need to be alone with myself from time to time to recharge my batteries in order to be a better person to all as well as to myself. Be alone for a while refreshes me

Temptation being a duck? Hummmmm... I'm so focused in my Aqua that this didn't hapen yet. I've met some interesting people, I love people, I love to know new people, but I didn't fill attracted by any so far.

I believe when you are deeply in love you don't pay attention to anyone else. Your wants, thoughts, feellings flow toward the person you love.

But we can be surprised by life events though. The awreness can hit you like a brick in the forehead when you less expect. Nevertheless I need to give this subject a though.

posted May 29, 2006 09:07 AM         

I didn't meant to make you feel bad. I have Sag rising and I come across as blunt at times. The only thing my friend knows is that they would always know where they stand with me.As I said before you ARE doing what works for your relationship.

quote:

---

I believe when you are deeply in love you don't pay attention to anyone else. Your wants, thoughts, feellings flow toward the person you love.

---

I guess I agree on this one but sounds very girly opinion. I wonder what mens have to say about this.

Good Luck to your relationship and as geministone said

quote:

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I believe that each one of us hold our own and, each set, is necessary in it's unique passeges that await

---

posted May 29, 2006 09:18 AM         

quote:

---

truth-be-told, has been in a sense, taught to be ignored by many culture's and society standards... ettiquette and, all the ways that seem to praise that it is better to stifle our own Spirit's whispers.. to stuff the feelings of self... to 'fake it'... just to spare the feelings of others....but, other's feelings are ultimately, not of our own control... We can only control the feelings of self, yet, it appears to be otherwise and, this is when the game begins.

---

So true....

Blame game ....it starts due to insecurity and it takes honest communication and ability to accept truth and mistakes by both.
To love, help and respect unconditionally.
14 years long time.To realise your own mistake is half done.

posted May 29, 2006 11:47 AM         

I must have overlooked something, because you didn't make me feel bad No bluntness in yours posts to me. I'm blunt too, and I rather like a direct conversation then a "polite" one.

And yes, I prolly sound girly most of times. I'm still experiencing my first love relationship. It started when I was a teen. Am I stuck in my teens? Oh my... I need to grow up!LOL

What men have to say about my girlishy thoughts concerning the man I love? Note that your quote from my post reffers only to him not men in general.

I said I'm so in love that I can't actually see no one else with interest enough to have a crush or felt in love, I'm not paying the necessary attention to any other man in order to felt in temptation. I wonder if I'm missing something...

posted May 30, 2006 12:18 AM         

I know Gem girl who loves her Libra bf so much that she wouldn't think of someone else. That sounds to me little strange.

I was wondering whether on man really fight it or not and somebody told me that maybe it's how you are bought up and morals matter.