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Author
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Topic: Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 11:31 AM
 
I know that some of you know from my previous posts about the Scorp that has been in and out of my life, that I had pretty much resigned to let it go. Lots of feelings there, but too much distance and we can't seem to meet in the middle. Plus he picked up a girlfriend and that just put a damper on the whole thing. So...it's been hard because he keeps telling me how much he misses and thinks about me, but I know that nothing has changed. He found out two weeks ago during a work outing that one of the guys I had been going on dates with ended up to be an ex-Chippendales dancer who shaved all his body hair. My friend and I were laughing about it. Someone else overheard us and must have mentioned it to him. He promptly chewed me out like I have never been chewed out before. All through an e-mail the next day. Very hurtful and mean things. A week later he sent me an e-mail telling me he missed talking to me.Which brings me to my next issue. I went to a baseball game last night with my sales manager and two other guys from work. One of which is VERY good friends with the Scorp and also a giant manho. But this guy and I are friends because we know a lot of the same people. At then end of the night, I was driving his car because he was drunk. I pulled up next to my car and he was going to call a cab to pick him up. The giant manho then proceeded to jump on top of me and stick his tongue straight down my throat. I pushed him off and told him no and that he has a girlfriend. I also told him that too many people could get hurt and I am not that kind of person. Now I am 110lbs. and he is 6'2 and about 225lbs of all muscle. He did this 10 more times before I could finally get out of the car and into my own. While my opinion of the manho has now reached an all time low, the bigger issue is what is going to happen when the Scorp finds out. I have a feeling he is going to blow like I have never seen him blow before. It was like my own private hell in that car. I could see the movie playing in my head and I knew the #@$% would hit the fan. IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 1001
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 11:36 AM
Ooohhhh Drama Central!!!!!IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 11:38 AM
EXACTLY!!!!! I don't want the drama. I am trying to be drama free. All I could think was "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!". Help! IP: Logged |
maroon_flower
Knowflake Posts: 201
From: S.E.A.
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 09, 2006 12:13 PM
hiya..sorry to butt in... but, this has the makings of some amazing drama here... Hmmm.. first off, what a bad giant manho!! Pretending to be drunk is no excuse. And wowee... will the scorp man tear into him when he finds out!! Hmmm, would scorp man be less harsh on you if he heard the real story from u first? Or..do u reckon the silly giant manho would have forgotten the whole incident the next day/pretended to forget? Hope the drama doesnt have too many negative repercussions. Take care... and wishing ya smooth sailin' 
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LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 12:34 PM
Yes, it does, sadly enough, have the makings of some first rate drama. I feel like a total idiot and wish I could have seen the road it was getting ready to turn down.And I do believe he was pretending to be trashed. He was walking and talking just fine, but I assumed he just knew his limits and wanted to be safe. I think I was being a little naive about the whole thing. The Scorps name did come up when the manho asked me who would care. I guess the Scorp has been keeping his jealous outbursts to himself and the manho didn't know. As for trying to smooth the waters with the Scorp by telling him first, I'm not sure about that. This last outburst he had was vicious and hateful. He said things to deliberately hurt me. Apparently it is okay for him to have a girlfriend and still tell me he wants me, but I am not allowed to go on dates. He didn't even bother to take the time to find out that I had kicked the Chippendale to the curb once he told me his previous occupation and his aversion to body hair. The sad thing is, we are all grown individuals. I'm 28 for goodness sake. This is grade school crap. IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 06:20 PM
The worst thing is as the day goes on...I am feeling worse and worse about what happened in the car. I feel very exposed and would love to hide under my blankets and make it all go away. I know it might not make any sense, but I feel like I am this horrible person and I've done something very, very wrong.IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 4679
From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002
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posted June 09, 2006 06:29 PM
You need to tell the Scorp. You are also in a very horrible position since you work with that guy (the manho) you could have been raped. The guy was doing everything in his power to take control from you by pinning you down and forcing you to kiss him or at the very least endure his forced tongue down your throat.What you are feeling right now is the after-affect of being violated and you absolutely were- it's called a sexual assault and it doesn't have to commence with actual penetration. Now it's up to you to figure out where you go from here. Some will say you need to file a complaint because guess what, if he did this to you, with the knowledge that you have the Scorp on your side (and you being a co-worker) one can only imagine what he has done to other women. Bottom line- he's done this before and I'll bet he's suceeded in the past with getting ALL that he wants. IP: Logged |
lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 5134
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted June 09, 2006 07:45 PM
Wow - the Sag in me is saying TO HELL WITH ALL OF THEM - get a new job and write the whole works off. Now, we all know what kind of stigma is attached to women who file sexual assault charges against a co-worker. Unfortunately, without witnesses (who will come forward) it's your word against his, and just fact that you were alone with him will be used against you, as though you WANTED him to make a move. It's always the girls fault, somehow. And even if you have a solid case, you'll still be tainted as the "trouble maker". It just blows - it blows hard.  If this gets back to the scorp (who isn't your boyfreind, but still likes to keep you at his mercy emotionally  )then, he probably will get a very lopsided version of the story, if it doesn't come from you. So, you either tell him first, and let your angry about it all just fly - put THEM on the defensive for once - or, you wait for scorp's pal to tell him, and approach you - and THEN you let it be known in no uncertain terms how angry you are about it. Either way, you have a right to be mad, and you should let it be known that you ARE!! And, no pussy footing around about that either. No softening the blows. Use bad language & raise your voice, even if you're a soft spoken gal, non-confrontational type. That story sucked, LuLu - and I've been there. Only it was the guy's girlfreind who blamed ME for her boyfriend almost raping me. - The only thing that helped me defend myself was the fact that I was spitting mad about it all, and didn't even try to suger coat it. Eventually, everyone realized I wasn't at fault, he was. They broke up about 2 months later. IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 09, 2006 10:25 PM
The Scorp actually called this evening. It caught me completely off guard. I figured he had found out and was calling to yell at me. Instead, he said he wanted a truce. He misses me and hates not getting to talk to me. I told him about last night. He thanked me for telling him. He asked a lot of questions and couldn't seem to get it straight in his head. I had to go over a couple of things twice. He had the nerve to ask me if the manho's version would be the same thing. Then he apologized and said he trusted me. He said he was disappointed in the manho. This is the guy he goes on double dates with now. I'm sure that throws a wrench in his plans. He can't yell at him because then the manho would know that he cares about me. He tried to convince me to start talking to him again, but I stood my ground and told him that it wouldn't work. He sounded really upset when he got off the phone, but I felt much better about everything.Everyone was right. I knew I had to tell him when he called. The man seems to have impeccable timing. Always has. He manages to call at always the exact time. IP: Logged |
lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 5134
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted June 10, 2006 01:37 AM
Lulu, I don't get the emotional history or current weather between you two. It annoys me how Scorpio men often keep an emotional strong-hold over women who they are not even committed to. Especially if they're with someone else.I just don't trust some scorpio men. I've seen them destroy women at a soul level with their very effective brand of emotional manipulation. I'm having such a hard time putting this into words tactfully.  It's like "I'm not yours, but you will ALWAYS BE MINE... Mwa-ha-ha...And you'll believe that you CHOOSE that, mwa..ha ha..at the expense of all other chances at happiness...Mwa ha ha ha ha....And you will DIE before you love another...I will see to it...MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!....  suck suck suck...there goes your spirit - through the scorpio's invisible straw. But, they'll loan it back to you from time to time, as they see fit. *Disclaimer: I also know this is not true of all Scorpios - just the ones who are like that, and they know who they are - yeah, I'm talking to you. IP: Logged |
writesomething
Knowflake Posts: 334
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006
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posted June 10, 2006 02:24 AM
lion- LOL.. youre hilarious! I know a scorpio sun/aqua moon who does the same thing, his ex(aquarius sun/libra moon) they dated 4 years, they still see each other, he screws around, dates...but it seems like if she ever did it he'd go crazy...i think shes still in love and cant let go...i think he leads her on to think they might get back together, i think he wants to play the field...when he gets lonely...its so convenient shes there....but to each their own i guess------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit" "Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" -Khalil Gibran IP: Logged |
lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 5134
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted June 10, 2006 03:20 AM
Get her to come here and let me have a little talk with her...  IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 10, 2006 08:17 AM
I don't get it either. He has no right to know what is going on in my life now, but for some reason he feels like he does. I think he thought that he could just call yesterday and tell me he missed me and I would just give in. Instead he got an earful about one of his closest friends and his attempt to hump in his car. I'm sure the rest of his night sucked. Especially after I told him that I wasn't going to change my mind about us talking. He just uses it as an excuse to continue to have intimate conversations with me that he shouldn't be having when he has a girlfriend. And...he still hasn't apologized for being so cruel a few weeks ago. Either way, it's too draining to have a "friendship" with him. I am proud of myself for telling him no.IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 258
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted June 10, 2006 08:28 AM
Nevermind the man-***** ,why the hell does this scorp think you belong to him? I know us watersigns can possesive, but he's not even your boyfriend. I think it's good you stood your ground and told him you didn't want to talk to him anymore because your not at his mercy, and you never had to be.And he'll finally realize that.IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 10, 2006 10:22 AM
It's a good question. I have had a lot of my friends ask me the same question. No one can quite understand why he feels he still has a right to me and my life. In our sales meetings, he just sits and stares at me. Believe me, people notice. But this was all his choice. He chose to date this girl over me because she was in the same town as he is. Nevermind that I am only an hour away. She's very young and her daddy is VERY VERY wealthy. I think it's an ego thing for him. I refuse to meet her because I don't want to have to face her knowing what he says to me behind her back. Several of my friends at work have met her though. They say she is extremely quiet, doesn't talk to anyone, sits by herself, and that he doesn't even interact with her. And apparently...and not trying to be rude here because I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way...she isn't attractive. They are all amazed that this is the person he is dating. Coupled with the fact that WHENEVER anything goes wrong in his life he tries to run to me for help/support, everyone else is really having a hard time trying to figure out why he is dating her. Her dad owns cable companies in 7 different states. He's a big shot worth millions and millions of dollars. I think it's sad actually. But it doesn't mean I am going to talk to him. He needs to understand that.IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 258
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted June 10, 2006 03:20 PM
Ugghhh, what a sketchball....good thing you stopped talking to him. He sounds narcassist too, where's his moon and asc?IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 10, 2006 04:13 PM
He has a Cancer Moon and a Cappy ASC.I am a Taurus Sun, Sag Moon and Cappy ASC. We have a Venus/Pluto conjunction. IP: Logged |
Love
Knowflake Posts: 195
From: Canada
Registered: Feb 2006
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posted June 12, 2006 02:26 AM
Hey Lulu ~ just out of curiosity, which one of you is the Pluto and which one of you is the Venus?I am trying to work out a theory on this whole Pluto/Venus thing due to my own Scorp issues. LionEye ~ I am glad I read this post since your words reminded me of some things about some Scorpios that bear remembering. Love 
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LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 12, 2006 08:04 AM
His Venus is conjunct my Pluto in Libra. Hope that helps! You will have to share what you are working on!!!IP: Logged |
cappy
Knowflake Posts: 53
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 12, 2006 09:24 AM
Hey Lulu, I know how tough it is to let go of someone when all the feelings are there for everyone to see and the reality doesn't make sense. I congratulate you then for letting this scorp go. As other members have said and you agreed, I don't see why this guy has a say in anything that goes on in your life. Most importantly, I still coulnd't quite get it in my mind why you felt the need to explain to him what happened between you and the manho...I mean how he had tried to force himself upon you.
I just want to advice that you completely stop to participate in any form of communication with the scorp...that is not to be mean, but as a way to protect yourself. that's a tall order I know since you are working together. But I say this because it seems that though you are going on dates, you haven't really opened yourself to liking someone else...as often, it is because the scorpio is still there in you.
Usually, as a Cap I hang on and advice people to hang on to a bone...sometimes I am right, othertimes, not so. But this scorp is emotionally playing with you big time and you are allowing it by responding to his calls, listening to him so called missing you, and everything else. I don't want to stereotype but it sounds like a scorp alright...the immature kind. I had/have a friend just like that. Swears he loved his girlfriend and that's the woman for him...meanwhile, while they were in a long distance relationship, he "cheated" on her in the worst way possible: by going nuts over that other girl (there was nothing special about this girl in the end, except that she was a toy in his emotional mind games) that was closer by but also never actually doing it with the other girl so that he could keep his conscience clean...and he actually did.
I was sickened by it cause he hurt both women though his girlfriend loved him so much and was this incredibly forgiving person that she forgave him and got back together with him (after he broke up with her but then immediately after going back home, he felt lonely and went to her like a puppy) . I pray that i never fall in love with a man like that...I prefer a straight out cheater...that way I can get really mad and all. Last I heard, he has AGAIN "fallen in love" with another girl while being engaged with his girlfriend. Mind you, he actually tells his girlfriend about it all and expects her to accept that he is not cheating...
But anyway, stay even clearer from this scorp...I've been following your story with him and he sounds exactely like my friend...who's a dear soul but a major emotional manipulatorIP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 258
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted June 12, 2006 10:01 AM
Well said Cappy 
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LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 12, 2006 10:02 AM
Thank you Cappy. I agree. I wasn't really planning on telling the Scorp at all, but when he called it seemed to be the lesser of two evils. He doesn't have a right to know at all, but I was trying to avoid having to put up with his dramatics later if he found out from someone else. Something I just don't want to deal with. This way, he has nothing to hold over my head. I agree that there is still a bit of him inside of me. The problem is that I can't seem to find anyone that is suitable to date. I've tried younger, older, different...but they all seemed to get a little weird on me within a week. One guy tried to move in with me after three dates. I know myself well enough to know that I just need to keep looking. Once I meet someone that I can develop a good crush on, I will be right as rain. I've just gotten to a place though where I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. And right now it seems hard to find. Thank you for your words of advice. They really ring true for me.IP: Logged |
cappy
Knowflake Posts: 53
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 12, 2006 10:35 PM
Hey thanks for accepting my advice Lulu... But you're doing fine, hang in there.
That special, mature man will come in due time. Keep going on dates though if only as a form of distraction..."Once I meet someone that I can develop a good crush on, I will be right as rain. I've just gotten to a place though where I don't want to settle for less than I deserve."
OR maybe don't even go on those dates unless you feel like it. I know that after a break up I prefer to retreat and heal alone, and get to know myself better, rather than waste my time with people that I don't have a good clik with...lol...that also mean that I may be losing on someone out there. But I value peace within... "He doesn't have a right to know at all, but I was trying to avoid having to put up with his dramatics later if he found out from someone else." LET HIM HAVE HIS DRAMATICS. You have your conscience clean and you answer only to yourself and yourself only.
BUT whatever you do, make sure that that door is firmly closed for that scorp and don't maintain (or do if you chose) any form of "friendship" or "communication" with him unless it suits/benefits YOU in the long term.
Good luck and keep us posted. IP: Logged |
LuLu
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 13, 2006 01:18 PM
Thank you again Cappy, it is very sweet of you to offer such wonderful words of advice. The mantra in my head at the moment is "I deserve better than this. I am worth more than this." It's a great reminder. Both of the young men sat behind me in the Sales Meeting today instead of in their usual positions across the table from me. I went about my business and interacted with everyone as usual. When it came time to go to lunch with everyone (usually where the Scorp corners me), I politely declined and went out to lunch with a Realtor instead. The more time passes, the easier it will be.IP: Logged |
Love
Knowflake Posts: 195
From: Canada
Registered: Feb 2006
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posted June 14, 2006 05:51 PM
LuLu ~ how funny. In my situation, my ex's Venus is conjunct my Pluto in Libra as well.I have felt that although the Pluto person is, in theory, supposed to be the one who is less obsessed, shall we say, that the reverse seems to be true. My ex has another girlfriend now and I'm still as single as ever (and still cannot seem to totally move on - bleh.) I guess that's the theory I am "working on" ~ hahaha. I am starting to wonder if perhaps it's a gender thing that makes the difference? I don't know. Love IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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