posted November 28, 2006 08:28 PM         

Right now the relationship is in his hands and he wants something radically different, it's not the same, something is different it's not just that he needed space.

Stop wasting energy trying to anticipate and let him come to you with the news of what is going on. When he does contact you be blunt and not sweet, ask him what the hell is really going on in a determined way find out why he did this or show him the door. Do not work it out by anticipating what is problem is, his problem is of his own making.

He needs to apologize first and he knows it, anything else is not honest.

Be prepared with Uranus contacting the Moon he maybe ready to move to Mexico for life (at this moment) just let him decide for himself what to do and try to be civil when you can.

Good luck,
and this is when it's good to have a few friends over for a movie.

posted November 29, 2006 05:09 AM         

We are seeing each other next week to talk.

It's my first counselling session tonight, so wish me luck!!! xxx

posted November 29, 2006 09:55 AM         

Hello, I have been watching this thread for a few days no and MY Pisces heart goes out to you.

I have spent the last few years learning to let go, of people and especially letting go of the attachment to outcome.

It hurts and is much easier said than done, but how you will rise up, way above him, when you can love him unconditionally for the <fool> he is and let him go.

This does not mean you have to be walked all over like us Pisces gals can be so good at, just means that you rise above his negative bull crap.......

I have said for a long time that the ultimate act of love is letting go......

I have been in the process of letting go--more than one individual---for quite some time now, good days and bad...but how free I feel when all is said and done......

Blessings

Terri

posted November 29, 2006 10:14 AM         

Thank you for your kind words.

posted November 29, 2006 10:32 AM         

I KNOW it hurts, god how I know that!

You will rise above this, Fish girls ALWAYS do....

Turn, spalsh him with warm water using your fish tail, swim away into yourself and healing will begin.....

X

posted December 04, 2006 05:06 AM         

I am seeing my Scorpio tomorrow. I just want the pain to go away.

My friends and family are extremley worried that I am suicidal, to be honest I just don't know...I just want him back

posted December 04, 2006 08:38 AM         

I am really afraid of meeting him tomorrow. He has called me a few times over the weekend, but I have had to cut the converstaion short because I was too upset to speak.

How do you think I should handle seeing him tomorrow, when all I want to do is hold him and kiss him and beg him to come back to me (I won't do any of those things really!)

posted December 07, 2006 05:39 AM         

I met my Scorpio on Tuesday night and it was very, very interesting and very positive.

He was waiting for me when I finished work and I got into the car and we just looked at each other for ages, and then of course I started crying. He held me for a while and asked if we could go somewhere quiet to talk.

We drove for a while and parked up near to a little park.

We talked non-stop for about 3 hours.

I told him some things that I had never told him (or anybody) before. He was shocked and very sad.

We also talked about our break-up and he talked about where he thought it went wrong. He said it was my neediness and clinginess that did it. He said that he always felt bad about going out so he thought it was less hassle to not go out at all. He also said that he thought I had never really forgiven him over a brief infidelity and in a way he hadn’t really forgiven himself for the pain and hurt it caused me. He said for us to move forward we had to put the past behind us and I agreed.

I talked about losing the baby and the effect that had on me. He said it had a bigger effect on him than he ever told me. I said that we both should have had counselling after the loss and he agreed.

I asked when he had stopped loving me, he said he hadn’t but I had changed so much that he felt that he didn’t know me anymore.

I asked him what first attracted him to me and he said apart from the fact that he thought and still thinks I am beautiful, it was my independence and carefree nature. That he saw me as strong and determined and intelligent and somebody who wants to be with somebody but doesn’t need them.

He then asked me a biggie! He asked if he could mediate between me and my Dad to try and work on the relationship!!!! My Father left home when I was 6 and the last time I saw him I was 15. He said I talked about my Dad a lot and it was never bad. He said he thought I missed my Dad more than I would ever admit and he said he is haunted by the image of when my Dad left home and I saw him driving away and chased the car down the street. He said he felt the same way when he went anywhere that I would look at him with such sadness as if he was abandoning me just as my Dad had all those years ago. This made me cry (again). I said that he could, but it would take time for me to face it and we agreed to do this after I had worked on myself and my own problems.

He asked how I felt when he ended the relationship and I said I felt like I had been dropped in the middle of the ocean and told to find my way back to dry land and that sometimes he was like the life guard who was watching me and couldn’t quite decide whether I was waving or drowning. He said in that respect I had to think of him swimming beside me, that I had to do it alone but he would catch me if I fall.

I asked him if there was any chance that we would get back together. He said that we had to work on me first but not to rule anything out; he said he couldn’t promise anything and that we had to become friends first. He said that despite everything we talked about we had some very good times and he was going to concentrate on that and we should keep talking about us and moving forward, he said he felt that we had to get to know each other again.

I said that I would stop contacting him, that I would respect his need for time and space but he asked me not to and said he would call me and see me regularly. I said I know he would be busy up until Christmas so not to worry about seeing before then and he said that we would see each other a lot when he finishes work for Christmas.

I said losing him had made me realise what I had and he said he had to let me go so that I could get better and heal myself. He said it was almost like I was challenging him to leave me by pushing him further and further away.

We talked about his friendships and I said that I was ashamed of the way it had worked out. He asked if there was a reconciliation that I would make more of an effort and I said that I definitely would.

He said he missed me, that the flat felt very empty and that it didn’t feel like a home anymore.

He dropped me off at my friends and we had a little hug and a kiss.

I feel like I understand now what has happened and I know what I need to do.

I have booked myself in to see a psychotherapist (tonight 6pm). I tried counselling but it wasn't for me. I had a discussion with my therapist on the phone this morning and he is giving me a consultation but suspects that I need cognitive behavioural therapy which looks at the way I react to situations which is based on emotional response rather than logic. i.e. if Tom goes out I would think “he’s going out, he doesn’t love me, he will meet somebody better than me and he will leave me” rather than “Tom’s going out” apparently it’s behaviour that we learn but is not natural and can be easily worked through.

Phew long post…hope you didn’t fall asleep!!!!

posted December 09, 2006 06:58 AM         

He sounds like a lovely man you know, how well he understands and cares for you.

posted December 11, 2006 06:52 AM         

Thank-you. He really is a wonderful man, and I love him so very much.