posted November 23, 2006 09:44 AM         

This is a very long story so I will apologise in advance...

I had been with my ex-partner for just over two years and we have been living together for 1 year.

Me: 9th March 1972 London England 10.30am
Him: 21st November 1972 Glasgow Scotland 17.05pm

6 weeks ago I arrived home from work and out of the blue he told me that he wasn't happy, that he wanted me to move out and that he wanted to be on his own. I was so shocked as there had been no outward sign of unhappiness, our sex life was wonderful and he seemed the same as ever.

As we talked we established that there was no third party involved and that basically he felt like he was losing his identity.

As time passed he began to see-saw about what he wanted. I had agreed that I would move out at the end of October. By the time I was preparing to move he told me that he thought we just needed some space and that he wanted us to stay together. I was delighted.

I moved as promised and he was in constant touch with me. We went out on a couple of dates which were wonderful and very romantic. He talked a lot about feeling like whatever he was going through had passed and that he wanted us to have a fresh start.

It was his Birthday on Tuesday 21st Nov and we had agreed to see each other. However, he called me on Monday night and said that it was over, he wants to be alone, wants to live on his own and he is sure that this is what he wants.

I am absolutley devastated. I can't eat, can't sleep and am barely functioning...

I really just don't know what to do xxx

posted November 23, 2006 12:11 PM         

Your friends will say the same, your ex b/f has issues on how to be a good friend, sex life isn't everything respect matters.

I am often in a situation where my friend or b/f will smother me, trust me it's me not anyone elses fault! When someone is ready for a relationship no amount of time together is too much.

posted November 23, 2006 01:47 PM         

.. your boyfriend has a transit on .. it's transiting Uranus square his natal Moon ..
his moon looks to be in his 12th house .. uranus is just starting to transit his 11th house ..
that transit moves on .. should diminish by beginning of december ..

.. A very, very basic interp. ..

*Uranus Square Moon*

You'll be feeling somewhat erratic and unpredictable during this
period. You may even feel like you're fighting a constant battle
for maintain your personal freedom and independence. As much as
you care for and love your friends, partner and family - at the
moment you're likely to feel smothered with too much attention
and affection. All you really want is a bit of privacy.

Because others are likely to be getting under your skin, they'll
certainly feel the wrath of your anger and frustration. But
don't be too quick to jump to conclusions and lose your temper.

Remember, it's YOU who's feeling angry, irritable and rebellious.
Why take out your frustrations on those you love, simply because
they're in the closest geographical proximity to you?

Wanting to assert your independence, you're likely to be contrary
just for the sake of it. If someone says white..you'll say
black. If someone makes a suggestion...you'll reject it - simply
because they suggested it! During this period, you may not be an
easy person to live with.

Instead of venting your rebelliousness and craving for
independence on other, more innocent, bystanders - why not
transfer all this energy into creating new opportunities? Look
for a new job...train for a new career...decorate the
house...relandscape the garden - do anything, but keep yourself
busy.
* ***************************** *
~
you can keep an eye on your respective transits by getting a 'forecast'
from astro.com .. they will give you some idea of what the transits are about ..
just a suggestion is all ..

posted November 23, 2006 04:06 PM         

one current 'building up transit' in your chart is:
transiting Pluto conjoining your Descendant ..
you can read that as t.Pluto opposing your Ascendant ..
it's 2 degrees off your descendant .. enough for you to feel it ..
it will effect your chart for most of 2007 ..

Pluto transits are of a 'one off' variety .. as it takes a few hundred years to circle the zodiac wheel ..

also within 2007 (sept. aprox) you will have transiting Saturn squaring natal Saturn ..
Saturn takes aprox 28 yrs to make it's journey around .. so it's a fairly common transit for people ..

in 2008 transiting Uranus will conjoin your natal Sun ..
again .. another potential 'one off' as it has an 84 yr cycle ..

to get an idea of your bf's current uranian transit to his moon ..
you had the same for most of 1989 .. so think back .. it may ring a bell or two ..

posted November 23, 2006 10:29 PM         

good luck!

posted November 24, 2006 04:55 AM         

I think he is very confused at the point in his life and does not really know what he wants. In the meantime I am left with the wreckage of my broken relationship wondering where I go from here.

It's such a shock as we have never had a dramatic relationship with lots of breaking up. This is the only time, so I have to think that he is serious.

I feel like an empty shell and I just feel so bleak and alone.

posted November 24, 2006 10:28 AM         

I have just sent you an e-mail x

posted November 25, 2006 03:33 PM         

BUT in the end I always wish to go back, so be forgiving and he may want to talk.

I didn't say take him back, just talk it out.
Now I am into compromise and can talk about every move before going off on my own, but I still go off for weekends with others and leave with no notice.

It's so much more freeing not to be accountable and feel guilty for someone!
Pisces people always melt hearts (and keep hearts)

Still, in the end we can't build without relationships, everyone figures this out.
It's good to just enjoy the moment and to be as emotionally honest as possible.

There is a real benefit to this transit because it's good for career and making more money, increasing friend power. If there are chances in those directions it's because they were needed. After all if your lover can't be secure, then there is no lasting love.

posted November 25, 2006 04:41 PM         

From a woman who knows what you're feeling, the advice that I can offer up is just feel your emotions and deal with them as the come. But always see the light at the end of the tunnel. Cry, knowing that one day you'll be able to breathe again. And don't work so hard to get over him, just continue on your journey of life. While doing so, be happy, healthy, and working towards your goals because if he does come back, you'll be stronger, and if he doesn't come back, you'll be stronger. And that's how I deal with it.

posted November 27, 2006 05:33 AM         

I am in a rather unusual position as one of my friends (and work colleagues) is married and my ex is her husbands best-friend. That is how we met. So I know what he is saying about me. He say's that he has OK days and bad days. He has confirmed that there is nobody else and he is saying that he still loves me.

To Scorpfatale; no real depression in my make-up. I am VERY sensitive and often feel low but nothing major. Yes,perhaps it did end for the best, it just doesn't feel like it right now.

To sthenri, Thanks for your great advice. I know where I have made my own mistakes in this relationship. I feel that there is enough love between us to sort this out, but I don't know if he feels the same way.

Hi Happy Dragon, yes it is a good place to live. Got your e-mail but I had left the office when it arrived and don't check work related stuff at the weekend! I have lived in Bradford many years ago as I went to Uni in Leeds but shared a house in Bradford with some friends. You mentioned 2004 and what was happening then. I actually met him in 2004...

To BornUnderDioscuri, distance is the way to go. That's what I am doing and believe me it's killing me, but it's all I can do. Just hope he misses me enough...

To Dulce Luna, Thank you. I will pull through and I know it's a process I have to go through. Just can't believe what's happening.

To eyes_like_a_pisces, why do you feel you didn't handle your situation well?

To Taurus80, Thank-you xxx

To Natural111, Thank-you. I know it's a process and I know that if I bottled this up I would be carrying the heartache around for years to come. It's just such a sad time at the moment x

posted November 27, 2006 06:42 AM         

Maybe you can try this?
http://www.healingnetwork.co.uk/cutting_the_ties.htm

sending light and healing.

posted November 27, 2006 07:01 AM         

Just read your original post and replied to that xxx

posted November 27, 2006 10:35 AM         

Will take Sue G's advice on the flower remedies.

Why does love have to hurt so much?

posted November 27, 2006 10:55 AM         

What I did to get past it all was joined a kickboxing class that removedd the stress a great deat that or Yoga..Do Something PiscesP, don't whalla in your misery we are good for that and it makes things worst. Girl you have strength draw on it..

posted November 27, 2006 11:05 AM           

It is easy to understand each other, as your minds work in similar styles. Making decisions together
is supported, and when communication difficulties do arise, they are readily resolved when there is
the intention to do so.

Pisces's Venus opposition Him's Venus:

Your values and your tastes are at odds with each other. This often creates magnetism, but issues
concerning different values will likely have to be ironed out. You need to allow enough space in the
relationship to allow for your different tastes.

Pisces's Jupiter conjunct Him's Jupiter:

You will have plenty of opportunities to find mutually rewarding activities. Your philosophies about
living life support one another. Traveling, education, and spiritual explorations all provide avenues
of growth for the relationship.

Pisces's Ascendant conjunct Him's Ascendant:

Your approaches to life are perfectly aligned with each other. This similar attitude is echoed
through the other houses in your charts as well, enhancing your overall compatibility.

Pisces's Chiron conjunct Him's Chiron:

You are naturally empathic toward each other's deep sensitivities and support each other's efforts
toward healing.

Him's Sun conjunct Pisces's Neptune:

There is something mystical and spiritual about your tie, although it can be equally mystifying as
mystical. It is best for couples involved with spiritual or artistic activities together, where the
imagination does some good. There can be a telepathic, psychic rapport if you allow it. You must
watch out for soap-bubble dreams and all types of illusions with imaginative Neptune activated in
the relationship.

Him's Sun trine Pisces's Mercury:

Communication and a natural understanding of each other are favored. You "get" each other and
readily resolve the natural conflicts that arise in relationships. You stimulate each other's mental
activity and readily learn from each other.

Him's Sun sextile Pisces's Pluto:

The relationship feels safe, as feelings of threat drop away when you are together. You are there
for each other when destiny calls to lend strength. You help each other stay on track with your
higher purpose in life.

Pisces's Sun sextile Him's North Node:

You naturally support each other's path toward soul growth. This happens without effort. You are
able to help each other glean valuable lessons from your personal histories, freeing you from having
to repeat the past.

Him's Sun opposition Pisces's Saturn:

Him feels the hammer of Pisces's disapproval always close at hand. Pisces gets irritated with Him's
lack of responsibility. Projections abound between the two of you, and the wise person sees the
very qualities you dislike in each other as projections of unclaimed parts of your own character. It
takes character strength to deal successfully with this one; otherwise Him can feel disapproved of
and Pisces feels unappreciated.

Pisces's Sun square Him's Ascendant:

Tension exists in the way you each approach situations, and there can be a conflict of will unless
you allow for your differences. This combination is very favorable for natural magnetic attraction
between the two of you.

Pisces's Moon conjunct Him's Jupiter:

Him has a knack for uplifting Pisces's mood. Pisces, of course, enjoys this, so a positive, trusting
relationship develops. Pisces emotionally supports Him's growth needs and philosophical and
religious interests.

Him's Moon conjunct Pisces's Saturn:

Him feels the pressure of Pisces's expectations and judgments, and thus is extremely sensitive to
Pisces's approval and disapproval. If handled wisely, this creates a strong sense of responsibility
that binds the two of you together. If not handled wisely, Him feels unsafe in emotional expression,
and close interaction can be blocked.

Him's Moon trine Pisces's Uranus:

This is an aspect that encourages evolutionary growth on both your parts. Him feels encouraged
and supported for breaking out of old emotional patterns, and Pisces feels emotionally supported
for pursuing an authentic path of individuality.

Him's Moon trine Pisces's North Node:

You both naturally support each other's soul growth. You feel familiar and comfortable with each
other.

Pisces's Moon sextile Him's Mars:

Pisces feels safe and protected by Him's strength. Him feels emotionally supported in choices of
action. You rarely trigger each other's defenses.

Him's Moon sextile Pisces's Chiron:

A natural empathy and sensitivity exists between the two of you over wounds that you experienced
in the past. You support each other's emotional healing from these wounds and nurture each other's
compassion for others.

Him's Moon opposition Pisces's Neptune:

It is not likely that you see each other clearly. You can imagine qualities in each other that don't
exist, or pull each other into escapist behavior, or feed each other's fears. Absolute honesty,
including avoiding "dishonesty by omission," is required for a healthy relationship.

Pisces's Moon opposition Him's Ascendant:

Misunderstandings often arise when Pisces's emotional needs are expressed in a way that irritates
Him. Your relationship benefits from spending a little time apart in the daily schedule to avoid
getting on each other's nerves.

Pisces's Moon square Him's Pluto:

Pisces can feel threatened, unsafe, and powerless to withstand Him's will. A healthy relationship
can develop only if Him can remain conscious of the potential misuse of this power of intimidation.
Otherwise, the potential for unhealthy psychological patterns to develop between the two of you is
strong.

Him's Mercury conjunct Pisces's Neptune:

This leads to a mystical, nearly psychic connection between the two of you. Mutual interests in
mysticism, spirituality, and artistic pursuits are favored. Worldly issues and practical concerns are
not so favored. In these issues, it is best to compensate for this imaginative combination by making
sure that you are not seeing potential that doesn't really exist.

Pisces's Mercury conjunct Him's Chiron:

You support each other's interests in alternative healing, and provide each other with insights into
the significance of your past wounds.

Pisces's Mercury trine Him's Neptune:

You have a highly intuitive rapport with each other. This supports your communication, allowing
you get the subtle nuances. You help each other rise above petty issues and can encourage each
other's interests in spirituality and the arts.

Him's Mercury trine Pisces's Chiron:

You support each other's interests in alternative healing, and provide each other with insights into
the significance of your past wounds.

Pisces's Mercury opposition Him's Pluto:

Difficulties in communications with each other arise because of Pisces's tendency to feel threatened
by Him's will. It is important not to allow manipulations of any sort to enter into your
communications with each other; no good can come from it. If either of you feels manipulated by
the other, name it for what it is, and refuse to take part in it.

Pisces's Mercury square Him's Jupiter:

Your learning styles are different enough that it makes it difficult to carry out intellectual projects
together without getting exasperated with each other. Him is interested in growth that doesn't
interest Pisces. Pisces can seem narrow-minded and picky to Him. Give space for your different
learning styles and interests to avoid conflict.

Pisces's Venus trine Him's Jupiter:

The friendship between the two of you flows naturally and you encourage movement toward
refinement in each other's life. The arts, culture, philosophy, and socializing together are all favored.

Him's Venus trine Pisces's Ascendant:

This is a highly magnetic and sweet combination. Him is very attracted to Pisces's looks and style.
It is easy to love one another, and interests in the arts, entertainment, and culture are favored.

Pisces's Venus opposition Him's Mars:

There is a magnetic spark between you, without a doubt, but it is sometimes rough and has an
edge. This is good for passion, but is volatile because so many of your values about male/female
roles in a relationship clash.

Him's Venus square Pisces's North Node:

Your tastes, both in terms of pleasure and soul-growth activities, are not in synch with each other.
Since neither of you values the other person's taste in clothes, style, art, beauty, and social
activities, this aspect has a diminishing effect on the magnetism between you.

Him's Mars trine Pisces's Ascendant:

Your energies flow well together, making it easy to work or play together. You rarely trigger each
other's defenses, allowing you feel safe with each other. Knowing you can count on each other's
support in any conflict gives you courage.

Pisces's Mars trine Him's North Node:

You keep each other current with the times and on track with your soul growth. You give each
other courage to move forward, away from the path of least resistance and toward growth.

Him's Mars sextile Pisces's Jupiter:

You bring out a confident and positive attitude in each other, allowing you to work and play well
together. You also travel well together and encourage each other to take part in the opportunities
life has to offer.

Him's Mars square Pisces's North Node:

Him's choices of activities are often off track for the path of soul growth for Pisces. You would be
advised to allow space in your relationship for your separate interests.

Pisces's Jupiter square Him's Pluto:

There is an unconscious pattern of competition between the two of you, and you can goad each
other into grander and grander displays of one-upmanship. There can be a natural mistrust of each
other's moral and ethical values in how you approach goals.

Him's Jupiter square Pisces's Chiron:

Your beliefs and philosophical views clash with each other concerning health and healing issues.
Although not with malicious indent, Him can encourage directions that hinder, rather than help,
Pisces's healing process.

Pisces's Saturn trine Him's Pluto:

You give each other strength and support for tackling large projects, and the two of you together
are very effective when dealing with administrative authority. You can count on each other during
crunch time, when your back is against the wall.

Him's Saturn trine Pisces's Uranus:

This combination is favorable for working together to fulfill responsibilities of any kind. Pisces
encourages Him to be innovative in career considerations, while Him helps ground Pisces's ideas.

Pisces's Saturn opposition Him's Neptune:

You tend to feed each other's doubts and fears, eroding each other's strength. When a cycle of
doubt comes over the two of you, it feeds on itself, and soon everything can look bad. This misuse
of the imagination needs to be addressed as if it were a test. Discipline needs to be developed to
block these negative wanderings of the imagination.

Pisces's Uranus trine Him's Ascendant:

You encourage and support each other's uniqueness and individuality by giving each other
permission to be just who you are without pretension. You support each other's path of awakening
and evolution by encouraging each other to stay in an attitude of discovery.

Pisces's Uranus opposition Him's Chiron:

Here, we have two rebels with two different causes. An example would be two people who both
rebelled against traditional health care and found their own, but different, alternative paths. Until
you can honor these differences, the tendency to look at each other's path as eccentric at best, and
as having little merit, will certainly be felt as challenging.

Pisces's Uranus square Him's North Node:

This aspect presents the challenge of accepting each other's decidedly different views on what
constitutes a growth-oriented path. Him views Pisces as being totally unpredictable and unreliable,
while Pisces thinks it important to shock Him into awakening from not seeing the big picture.

Pisces's Neptune sextile Him's Pluto:

Your interactions with each other invariably help you both rise above the petty, lower currents of
reality. If you attempt to meditate together, you will feel as if you are being lifted up on unseen
wings.

Him's Neptune sextile Pisces's North Node:

You can trust each other to provide spiritual guidance and insights as you have a natural empathy
for each other's soul needs.

Him's Pluto square Pisces's Ascendant:

Pisces can feel intimidated by Him because of something that neither of you is conscious of. This
makes it difficult to have a relationship until trust is established. You see each other's idiosyncrasies
and subconscious behavior patterns. It takes great sensitivity of delivery to discuss such issues
without arousing your partner's defenses.

Him's Pluto trine Pisces's North Node:

posted November 27, 2006 11:31 AM         

I just have such faith in people and get so deeply hurt when I misjudge them.

I feel like you can understand me. We are both piscean ladies and have both had a significant Aqua in our lives. Believe me I couldn't have coped without my ex-aqua. He has truely been the best friend I could have ever dreamed of.

Thank you And... will read more when my eyes dry out from the constant weeping.

As for me I have taken a very bold step and have booked in for some counselling sessions xxx

posted November 27, 2006 11:47 AM         

Quote:
I just have such faith in people and get so deeply hurt when I misjudge them.

Oh I have had this happen to me countless times,only through God's grace and mercy that I pulled through those trying times..

Good for you to go for counseling I am sure with prayer it will help you..Don't give up the sun will shine again soon..

posted November 28, 2006 05:00 AM         

I desperately desperately want to speak to him, but I know I shouldn’t. I know that I am better to leave it for a while.

This is hurting so much both emotionally, mentally and physically.

I just want him back…But I have no idea what to do?

Does anybody see any point?