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Author
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Topic: Zala, Swerve, Scorpluv, anyone...I have a MUCH bigger problem...
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CrankyCap
Knowflake Posts: 259
From: Powell, Ohio, United States
Registered: May 2006
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posted December 12, 2006 12:11 PM
 
Hey Scorpluv - Yes, I had a talk with my Pisces on Friday night. Actually I think everyone around here would be pretty proud of me...lol...I told him just about everything I had said on here. Gave him a bit of background on my past, told him that I DID NOT want to be thought of as an "accident" and would not be considered a "glorified fu*k buddy" for the next few months. He said he didn't see me that way at all and did not want to stop seeing me because of this move. Still, I also told him that I had fallen very hard for him and this whole thing just really, REALLY scared that sh*t out of me. I emphasized that - I am scared, scared, SCARED. He said that he had fallen for me too and that we were in the same boat...but it's not quite the same thing. He did say that he didn't think he would be ready for us to move in together by March, and I don't really blame him...so then what? I felt a little bit better at first, but yesterday and today have me feeling kind of down again. I feel very, very lost right now. It's not just the situation with this guy, but it's everything with my family too. My mom is depending on ME to be her spouse and help her raise my unruly sister. My brother isn't speaking to any of us right now, and this is all only 4 months after my dad died. I just feel too much pressure - like the weight of the world is on me right now. I told mr. pisces that it felt like too many trains were pulling into the station at once, and I just can't handle it. I just feel very lost, directionless, and alone right now. I feel a little bit like I'm losing myself...I'm living for everyone else right now. As far as my sister goes, things are a LITTLE better. She's back home now, and going to school. My mom took the car away, and my sister's been seeing a therapist. The Leo situation is kind of in limbo. I haven't spoken to her since the night of the party, which to me means that she must have been guilty of something, and is probably avoiding me for fear that I asked the pisces what really happened. This is of course, fine with me. Anyway...that's where I'm at right now. Pisces has been a lot more distant in general since this whole Chicago thing came up. I haven't talked to him in a couple days now... IP: Logged |
scorpluv
Knowflake Posts: 97
From: new york, new york, USA
Registered: Jun 2006
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posted December 12, 2006 03:53 PM
CC... Booboo... I'm so sorry to hear about all these things going on, but in hindsight, that which does not kill us makes us stronger... I can understand why you feel so much pressure, but don't allow these situations to weight on you so much... You aren't being fair to yourself... NO GOOD!! In the end, you can only be responsible for yourself... I know that your mom has had it rough, but you need to speak to her about her issues as well... Explain that this isn't healthy for either one of you, your just reciprocating a co-dependent relationship, which isn't good... But that is something that can be done in time... With your sister and that Leo chic, let it go... Your sister will eventually realize what she's doing to herself and she'll correct it on her own... With Mr. Pisces... If things are meant to be, they will be... At this point, you really can't worry about that, there is nothing you can do to change the situation... However, there is something that you can do for yourself that would be tremendously helpful... JUST THINK POSITIVE... don't allow ANYONE'S negative bs get to you... NO ONE!!! You are the only one that has control over your life and what it becomes... I know it is hard for you now, but things get better with time... You won't know what is to become of your relationship w/Mr. Pisces, but if you love something, let it go and if it is yours, it will return... If he feels this opportunity will make him happy, then let it be... Don't base your own happiness on him being around... Involve yourself more in activities that bring you happiness and don't worry so much about him moving... Eventually he will have to make the choice on what your relationship will be, but you can't keep yourself hanging on a string... It isn't fair... You can't blame the man for being ambitious, but that doesn't mean that you have to stop your dreams and ambitions... Pursue what you love and keep on going... If he wants to be in your life that badly, he'll make the necessary compromises... It's something you guys can work on together if and when the time is right.... I'll keep praying for you to give you strength and the courage to do what is right for yourself... but please do yourself the favor and stop living for everyone else and start living for CC... TTFNIP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 3449
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted December 12, 2006 05:18 PM
CC ~I couldn't have said it any better than scorpluv (what a wise woman you are!!) Your Mom becoming a widow is a tragedy, but she will have to learn for herself how to get thru her days. I'm not saying, stop being supportive, I'm just saying stop taking a lot of the responsibility for your family's emotional health onto your shoulders. It's your Mom's job to raise your brother and sister -- not yours -- and she's not being fair to you. And speaking of your sis, my brother had a good saying that helped me to let go of a poor situation: "You can't save people from themselves." And if they're too stubborn or silly or hardheaded (as I was) to listen to their elders/role-models, they'll have to learn the hard way..... As for Pisces-fella, instead of withdrawing in anticipation of possible future hurt, how about enjoying every minute of the time you can be together?? Live for today!! (yeah, I know you're a Cappy and need to make *plans*  ) You have your own job, future, interests and friends to keep you busy once he goes to the Windy City. And he needs to go, to chase his dream..... You've thankfully had the last hit of tUranus conj nMoon, one of the "breakup" transits, and so far your relationship with Pisces-fella is still alive and kicking -- yay!! Here's astro.com on that transit:
"Valid during many months: This influence signifies a time of enormous psychological change and possibly emotional turmoil. Among its manifestations are the following: sudden incidents involving women; emotional upsets; emotional rashness and impulsiveness; sudden changes of mood; changes in your most intimate domestic and personal life, especially at home; and possibly sudden incidents concerning your mother or another female relative.
The effects of this influence are not so much bad as sudden and surprising. The most disturbing effect is the sense of upset, but you may also feel very excited. You can count on this influence to change your daily routine. Sudden infatuations with unusual partners are one of its consequences. Aspects of yourself, such as your innermost emotional nature, your habits, your emotional responses, your belief that you are supported and nurtured in life, and also the possessions that you identify with them, such as your home and land, are most subject now to the surprising effects of this influence. What is most difficult to do but most important is to maintain your sense of equilibrium. Like the other aspects of your life, your usual emotional expression can become rigid and routine to the point that you are not really experiencing your life anymore. Viewed positively and constructively, this influence can get you in touch with life again, although it may do this through some event that you consider unfortunate. No matter what occurs, if you have the courage to look, you will discover that you are feeling alive again. The feeling may be sadness if you have lost someone or something. But the aliveness that comes when you are truly in touch with your feelings is worth as much as anything this influence takes away." tSaturn's separating from a square with your nVenus, but it will be back when Saturn goes direct (probably early-/mid-summer?) -- you can read up on that transit at cafeastrology or one of the other sites. You've had tChiron squaring nChiron for awhile, but that one's separating now too. You've got tJupiter heading for a trine with nJupiter and in your 1st/5th houses -- woohoo!! What do you think that could mean??  You've had your Venus Return recently and you're coming up on your Mars Return soon -- maybe you want to explore the portents of these two Return charts?? I'll look into Pisces-fella's chart next....  Z IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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