posted May 10, 2007 05:43 AM         

I'm not asking only in terms of Sun Cancerians. Rather, people with strong Cancer influences in their nativities, what some call "stellium Cancerians" or people with Moon in Cancer.

I've known a few people with Moon in Cancer or Sun in Cancer. A happy Cancerian persona is warm, caring, nurturing, attentive to your needs...with total devotion.

But when something goes wrong with the relationship (romantic or otherwise- I'm rather focusing on general ones, instead of just sexual ones), and when the Cancerian feels deeply hurt, s/he seems to be able to "let go", once and for all, and will never be back for the other person.

I don't know, but is there any chance for such a gone-stale relationship with a Cancerian to revive/survive? I'd appreciate your opinions.

posted May 10, 2007 09:04 AM         

Sometimes I swing far too much right and most of the time I have swung too much to the left.
Wherein I reject all group mentality...including the fun stuff.
And deny myself the things that do make me happy, if it means having to depend on someone...even just a little.

but I hear you about going into the shell and detaching from the experience.
I soo do that.
And I used to be made to feel bad about that.

My boyfriend, Sag sun, Taurus moon, is the kind of guy who, once he has decided u are his friend, will never waver from that pact no matter what it is you do.
And in a smuch as I admire that, if a friend pi$$es me off one too many times, its bye bye.
No resentment, but no need for that friendship as there's too much to be getting on with in life and I'll rather save my energy for the things that harmonise with me.
Must be that moon in Capricorn.

Having said that though, Lake....
Once you are in a Cancerians mind, you never really leave.
I get sentimental about people I have met in the past who have stimulated me in one way or another.
It is my personal philosophy that nothing ever ends.
There is always a new story to be had.
And I for one, am always open to that.

posted May 10, 2007 09:11 AM         

quote:

---

But when something goes wrong with the relationship (romantic or otherwise- I'm rather focusing on general ones, instead of just sexual ones), and when the Cancerian feels deeply hurt, s/he seems to be able to "let go", once and for all, and will never be back for the other person.

---

Ooooo, yeah. I do that when someone has really crossed the line with me. I "shell" myself away from them for good. I may be friendly with them if they approach me like 2 or 3 years later but things are never the same. I'm never really as close to them as I used to be.

posted May 10, 2007 06:29 PM         

Cancer Moon here - but it's conjunct my Gemini Saturn, forming a Grand trine Uranus & Mercury. I can't cut people off easily at all... I do retreat, or try... and then I see an idiosyncrasy of the person, or an act of kindness and I melt

I love people too much to walk away very effectively and am the sort who stays close friends with exes. If, however, I feel that a connection doesn't serve me I will drift slowly away from the person. My Libra rising pops up here too though, I speak my mind at all times but I hate to hurt another. It's so difficult to separate parts of the chart from one another.

My sister is a different story. She's Cancer rising with Moon in Cancer deeply embedded in the 12th opposing her Capricorn Sun. She can cut off... it takes a lot to push her to the limit but once that is reached there is a finality. There is no malice in her, it's vulnerability.. a way she learned that serves her. Though it concerns me just because to put up boundaries is to stilt the emotion is it not?

Aren't emotions just flowing messages after all?

posted May 11, 2007 12:17 AM         

When I loose "RESPECT" for a person I am done with that person and there is no going back.
Not so much hurt because if I get hurt but the person shows they are truely sorry I am more than likely coming around, i may be a little reserve at first until i can regaing trust, but when i loose respect for an individual, specially a "mate" then it is all over,after the respect goes the passion & the relationship is over for good, never to look back.
Have been there a couple times,never looked back,never regreted my decisions.

posted May 11, 2007 04:23 AM         

I believe I've learned some significant points in the experiences you've shared.

Crabplanet & Dew,

I know a guy who has Cancer Sun and Capricorn Moon, too! Although I wasn't thinking of him as I posted. He has Cancer Sun, Cappy Moon and Libra Pluto. I guess this combination means lots of intense emotion?

But thanks for sharing the experiences and emphasizing holding on to hope.

It seems to me that a Cancerian (whether Sun, lunar, stellium, or as a result of strong aspects) is willing to sacrifice for the other if the s/he is very close to the person and considers him/her a true friend, or loved one, or someone in need.

And I'm only guessing if it's because a Cancerian always remembers so deeply, they remember the wounds more vividly than most other do. It's difficult for them not to remember. They recall all the experiences, good or bad, and when the other person has hurted them, they want to make sure they will not be hurt by the same person again. They don't want to be vulnerable to the same harm from the same person again, and their memory goes a long way. Their feelings run deep.

Some of you mentioned the matter of trust. I'm guessing that, unlike certain other signs, Cancer (either Sun or Moon) remembers, so it's hard for them to trust the individual who has hurt them again. They feel the pain of the hurt sharply, profoundly. They also want to feel secure, and unfamiliar things or strangers, but esp people who've hurt them, lack security to them.

Anyway, it's something I can only imagine on the theoretical level. But thanks again, I'll remind myself there's always hope.

posted May 11, 2007 10:09 AM         

quote:

---

And I'm only guessing if it's because a Cancerian always remembers so deeply, they remember the wounds more vividly than most other do. It's difficult for them not to remember. They recall all the experiences, good or bad, and when the other person has hurted them, they want to make sure they will not be hurt by the same person again. They don't want to be vulnerable to the same harm from the same person again, and their memory goes a long way. Their feelings run deep.

---

posted May 11, 2007 11:04 AM         

But even if my ex-husband would come around and be a different kind of person with a good heart I would still not take him back, I will have him as a friend (not close friend either) just friend and be cordial to him but I would never take him back, I don't think he hurt me that bad, I do think he hurt my kids and the marriage and he doesn't even know it , but just the fact that i can not see him as "the man" turns me off against him.

Anyway... I am a lot easy going and don't get hurt that much,I don't let issues get to me, i am a lot more practical, I wonder why i am not like these other cancers in here.

posted May 11, 2007 12:24 PM         

I dont think the Cancer's on this thread are saying anything different to you.
I for one, am not.
I always forgive people because I profoundly believe that everybody is good.
And because I couldn't walk around with unforgiveness, as an energy, inside me.
Everybody is God!

I dont just shut people out for no reason.
If you had asked me to justify my actions a year ago, I would be lying if I said I didn't care about the person.

Now I can honestly say that I do still care about people who I have shared an experience with , all of them, but it doesnt mean I want them in my life.
And this is in complete contrast to being unforgiven and rash.

There have been friends I fell out with as a result of their misdemeanours towards me....but I missed them and called them to reach out.

I used to be naive and despite my sixth sense screaming out, I always took people back who had no love towards me because I believe compasiion would turn them around.
I am looking for quality not quantity... and I will never deny myself something that gives me intense pleasure.
Now, I like myself too much to ever let somebody who doesn't harmonise with me back into my life.

posted May 11, 2007 03:14 PM         

quote:

---

Now I can honestly say that I do still care about people who I have shared an experience with , all of them, but it doesnt mean I want them in my life.
And this is in complete contrast to being unforgiven and rash.

There have been friends I fell out with as a result of their misdemeanours towards me....but I missed them and called them to reach out.

I used to be naive and despite my sixth sense screaming out, I always took people back who had no love towards me because I believe compasiion would turn them around.
I am looking for quality not quantity... and I will never deny myself something that gives me intense pleasure.
Now, I like myself too much to ever let somebody who doesn't harmonise with me back into my life.

---

posted May 12, 2007 03:24 PM         

You guys not only have shared your personal experiences with me, provided valuable insight to me, you have even given me inspiration. I've come up with a poem last night...and would like to post in on For Yellow Wax And The Ants. But I'm not sure if I should include it here too as part of my feedback about my newer perception of the sign Cancer...but the notion of double post makes me hesitate, because I don't want to overdo it. Anyway...

But first, yeah, once a Cancerian is determined to end the painful, hurtful relationship, they are determined. They rarely change their mind. Rarely have second thought...because, again, not to degrade other signs but- unlikely certain other signs, when a Cancerian has made up his/her mind, has vowed not to look back...they mean it, and they're usually determined...determined to not be hurt again by the same person.

I think the sign Cancer, by studying it, should humble me. I may never be able to feel the same intensity as Cancerians do. So, as I said in an earlier post here, the Cancerian traits are what I can only imagine on the theoretical level.

Speaking of determination...when a Cancerian loves and gives, I'm guessing, s/he is also loving, caring for, nurturing the other person with the same potency of determination, dedication and loyalty. Cancerians (Sun, lunar, or stellium or otherwise, as I tried to emphasized before. Certainly not exclusively Sun Cancerians only) are touchingly protective of anyone whom they consider is a loved one of theirs. Their children, friends, significant other, other loved ones...Cancerians will never back out when their loved ones are in need. Their loyalty, protectiveness, nurturing aura and determination to care for those in need are likewise strong.

Lake

posted May 13, 2007 06:21 AM         

I do think that the Cappie moon lends more of an air of detachment, yes.
Detachment in the sense of acknowledging a situation and rising above it.
As opposed to pretending it isnt happening, or shying away and becoming passive aggressive in the face of it.
I wouldn't say we are less emotional, but we are able to see things from a logical perspective.
For me this is true more so when a situation is hairy.

And yes, I hear you about figuring it out for ourselves, as opposed to relying on others.
Though I am not shy about asking for help, I like figuring things out for myself.
and ultimately I trust me and my own counsel.

I am sometimes accused of being cold by my boyfriend...but I tell him I'm just being practical!!
I cant stand stupidity in situations where none is called for.
And I hate all that PC BS that people spout just for the sake of peace.

I'll give you an example.
If a friend is constantly complaining, crying and just generally moaning about not having luxuries in her life...yet doesnt have a job, or does have a job and spends all her money getting high...I'm really not gonna be compassionate.
I am the one most likely not to say anything...or if pressed to speak, I will say 'get off your lazy a$$, quit complaining and get on with it'
'Gah!!'

posted May 13, 2007 09:39 AM         

Crabplanet

Because you told me you would like to read my poem...so, although I've posted it in the poetry and literature forum on this site (For Yellow Wax And The Ants), I'm posting it again here, for you, and for anyone else who's interested...

Like I said, I'm not a Cancerian...so the following, is merely what I can only imagine on the theoretical level...

"Dedicated to a Cancerian, Especially a Moon, Stellium, or Aspects-Oriented Cancerian"

One day...
That day...
You came into my world
Something...
Happened...
You once were
My everything
Yes, you meant everything to me

But I never quite expected
Something...
Like this...
From you...

Shaking, alone, in the dark
I did not know what to say
I shan't forget, I shan't forget
How could I...
Ever forget?
Things between me and you
Are beyond repair
You have walked with me upon my journey
Those footprints you've left on the way
Will never be washed away
By the tidal waves
Because I saw them
With mine own eyes
They shall always be there
Right there...
As they were, at that moment
And until that very moment...

They shall always remain there
Deep, deep
In my heart
The trace you've left in my life
Shall be in my heart always

Betrayal...
From you...
Changed my world...
Something...
Shattered...
No, no, no...
It hurts

I don't want this same hurt
Any more
I shall go my own way
With no regret, with no regret
I feel...
I am...
I feel intensely
And I love intensely, give intensely
Breathe intensely...

Now you know
I live my life
And experience, express
As intensely
As I feel...
So don't expect me to not take it as intensely
As I turn my back away
From you...

posted May 13, 2007 11:38 AM         

In the meantime: Dew and Crabplanet,

I totally hear you guys as coming off as being cold to other people. It happens to me too and I'm a virgo moon w/ a Cap Asc. I'm not any less emotional but with these two factors, I don't wear my emotions on my sleeves either. And....

quote:

---

If a friend is constantly complaining, crying and just generally moaning about not having luxuries in her life...yet doesnt have a job, or does have a job and spends all her money getting high...I'm really not gonna be compassionate

---

I am compassionate in this type of situation at first but once the person shows that they don't want to help themselves I'm just like "Awww, F it!" and walk away.

But You know what? I'm also sick of certain shallow people who want help from me for stupid situations that they keep getting themselves into over and over again. And then when I have a legitimate problem they don't want to return the favor as a friend. I know truly giving shouldn't require getting in return but it would be nice to have some damn support as a friend.

posted May 14, 2007 04:02 PM         

I know it well.

Bloody hurts.

I can understand it though being sensitive myself. I do think SOMETIMES Cancers can be unforgiving though, they seem to hold grudges which shows maybe they don't let go as effectively as they might think.

Surely being timid and afraid of intimacy and alllllll that testing (disclaimer: not all Crabs of course) comes from somewhere...

No, stop! Put those pincers away!!! Aaaarrghhhh......

posted May 16, 2007 12:51 AM         

And, Swerve, the only thing I use MY pincers for is holding on - a friend of mine once told me it was okay to just "lose the claw" because it would grow back!