posted June 16, 2007 12:50 AM         

I don't have anyone to get feedback on this situation so I'm coming here to you wise people.

I met a woman 5 months ago, it was the first time I had ever felt a powerful attraction to someone. I will spare you the details and summarize the events.

We have been in somewhat casual communication over the last 5 months, mostly phone conversations.

I have asked her out 6 times over these months, her response is always " I'm sorry I already have plans."

I know, one would think she is just not interested. But after every time I ask her out I back off and she increases her communication with me. She encourages me to ask her out, going as far as to ask when we are going to go out.She appears interested in me. I can't help but think if she were truly interested she would change her plans to see me.

I admit a number of the times I have asked her were short notice but I have a very busy career, and am a single father. Time is not something I have a lot of. Planning ahead is hard.

I'm trying to just back away thinking shes just playing with me. Enjoying the attention.
But if more than a few days go by she reaches out to me. Our conversations have become very personal as of late, she is telling me more of her personal life and asking for support/advise.

I have read Capricorn women are slow to enter a relationship, but 5 months?

I'm growing frustrated and thinking I'm being foolish and should just shut her out.

So, any thoughts feedback are most appreciated.

I am 06/27/69 04:11 AM Chicago
She is 12/26/80 (no birth time) Chicago

Thanks

Chi

posted June 17, 2007 09:23 AM         

quote:

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she is telling me more of her personal life and asking for support/advise

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she trusts you already it's a good sign!

quote:

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I'm growing frustrated and thinking I'm being foolish and should just shut her out.

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it's up to you of course but if you are serious about her, don't give up! you are on the right track and believe me, everything you invest (feelings, emotions, trust, faithfulness) will return treefold, thats how it is with cappy girls.

do you think 5 months is a lot? hm.... Cap ASC here

posted June 17, 2007 12:41 PM         

Thank You Thank You for your responses !

I appreciate your feedback so very much.

I honestly never considered my last minute invitations could be seen as inconsiderate.
I have been impulsive and not always very direct with her.

I will PLAN an evening with her. I do now realize I could have put a little more effort into this and created more room for her in my world.

And Peri, Yes 5 months seems like a REALLLLLLYYY LOOOOONG TIIIIIME ! *laughs*

I will call her tonight.

posted June 18, 2007 12:56 AM         

I have known her for 5 months now, and although I don't consider her to be a "late bloomer" maybe that has something to do with all of this.

After my conversation with her tonight, and again having plans already for the next two weekends. And no counter offer as to a date we can go out, but assuring me she wants to go out with me. I think I am done with this chase.

It's too bad, I really like her.

Again, thanks for all of your insight and opinions. I appreciate all of your help.

posted June 18, 2007 12:06 PM         

Caps are late bloomers, I agree, but it's not the case here, she is just being manipulative.

posted June 18, 2007 03:13 PM         

Thought I could contribute a little as a Cappy female. What the others have said about Caps not appreciating last minute plans is fairly true. We are not always the most spontaneous people. I prefer to have set plans with someone as opposed to having something sprung on me at the last minute. The plans don't have to be made weeks in advance, but a couple days ahead is usually appreciated.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is this girl's Virgo moon. I recently started seeing someone with a Virgo moon. For a while I couldn't tell if he was interested in anything more than friendship either. We talked all the time, but it was a good 2 months before we actually went out on a "date." Even then, I had to initiate it, and push for it. I gave him a week's notice, and we finally went out and had a great time. It turns out that there was an interest on his end the whole time, but he was very tricky to read. My patience was waning, as some days I thought he was interested...and others I didn't.

I think with these Virgo moons you need to have patience (which you've obviously got), but you also have to be the initiator. With this girl, your best bet might be to say, "Listen 'X,' I've been asking you out for so long now...and I'd really like to see you, but this is the last time I'm going to ask you out. I mean it. If you're not interested, then just tell me, and I'll leave you alone." Period. Be blunt with her, and shoot from the hip. Caps actually appreciate this.

There's an innate shyness in Virgo moon people it seems, and possibly a fear of rejection. Caps are self critical as it is, and with a Virgo moon, she's probably as deeply self critical as they come. She may just be afraid of what you might think of her when she finally lets her guard down. Right now she feels in control. If she starts dating you seriously, she could be afraid of the tables being turned. You'll have to coddle her ego a bit I'm afraid, but if you have the patience for it, it could be well worth it in the end.

That's my take anyway. Keep us informed, and let us know how things are going...

posted June 19, 2007 09:16 AM         

quote:

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There's an innate shyness in Virgo moon people it seems, and possibly a fear of rejection. Caps are self critical as it is, and with a Virgo moon, she's probably as deeply self critical as they come. She may just be afraid of what you might think of her when she finally lets her guard down.

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Amen to that

posted July 06, 2007 08:41 PM         

The Cappy's I know are quite organized. They do not SQUANDER anything, anything anything. I so admire this.

They have palm pilots, and they do not squander TIME, either.

Last minute planning, or planning on the fly may be seen as very reckless and irresponsible. She would surely appreciate you giving her time on the invitation. I'm certain she would see this as thoughtful and well-planned, which is how she likes it.

These are busy bees, you need to get to her weekend, before she gets it filled in her calendar, be it cleaning out the cupboards, or doing the gardening.

As far as the age difference, if there is ANY sign out there that can, will and DOES enjoy someone who is older, it's a cappy.

Don't let that stop you. They are the wise ole souls, and glean from that age difference. Like they say, they are that goat, climbing up the hill, slowly, meticulously, cautiously, and thoughtfully. Then they find themselves at the top.

posted July 08, 2007 07:56 PM         

"Gee, Cappy Lady, I really have enjoyed getting to know you but it seems we are having a really hard time connecting. I think you're great but I must say after 5 months, I'm wondering why we haven't been able to find one evening that works for both of us. I have suggested at least 6 times and while you already had plans, you never presented an alternative option. So, I'm going to leave the ball in your court. When and if you have some free time to go out, let me know. I'd really love to see you!" (SAY THIS WITH ALL THE SWEETNESS IN THE WORLD, THEN STOP CALLING HER!!!)

Do NOT be the shmuck that continues to ask her out with no reciprocation. Phone calls do not count.

Here's what I see to be going on: She loves the attention. Not sure she likes YOU that way, but she's not ready to let the ego boost go just yet. She's playing hard to get. There's absolutely NO way in God's green earth that a woman who was interested would not make time for a man in 5 months. That's absolutely ridiculous. Cappy or not, I'm just not buying it.

I can pretty much guarantee that if you pull back and DON'T let her reel you back in so easily (unless she proposes a day that woudl work for her) she will come after you. She's not going to like you pulling back your affections, and this may make her realize what you are adding to her life without her realizing it. Make her miss you and wonder about YOU for a change.

Whatever you do, don't be a doormat. A woman can't love a man that she can't respect.

Good luck and keep us posted!