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Author Topic:   A person you keep coming back to
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 19, 2007 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Has anyone else here ever known someone they can't ever properly forget and move on from? Does this mean anything astrologically or does it just make you nuts?

I feel bad one of my first topics in Lindaland for a long while should be this but I know everyone's so helpful and don't mind hearing other people's experiences too.

My situation is just this. After 8 months of happily going out with my Sagittarian boyfriend, I find myself drawn powerfully back into wanting a man I've always longed for and never had. The 'relationship' is very complicated to explain. He is now 22 and I am 16. He is a Capricorn and I am a Virgo. I used to see his band from when I was 13 and started talking to him online and became sort of friends when I was 14. I didn't see him a lot but we IMed more and I developed a massive crush on him. When I was 15, I experienced a lot of crap from him as he then said he fancied me back but suffered enormous guilt from my age. This resulted in periodically flirting then ignoring me. Back in October, just after I got my first boyfriend, who is essentially flawless and perfect, I spoke to the Cap online and ended up revealing how much he'd hurt me and how messed up I was. He apologised, felt very bad and suggested we met up, maybe as friends. In the end, I stayed with my boyfriend. For a long time now, I felt very happy but I suppose the Cap has always been in the back of my mind. However, I ignored him to get back and save myself.
Meanwhile, his band is now getting rapidly famous but when I went on msn recently, he still tried to talk to me. For a reason I can't explain, I replied. He said he'd dreamt about me last night and I'd had a dream about him that night too. We talked again and my feelings came straight back, after all this time. Suddenly my relationship with my boyfriend no longer seemed right. I still feel he is attractive but whenever I am not with him, it's the Cap that's on my mind.
I emailed the Capricorn suggesting we meet up, although I meant as friends, like he'd suggested before, to see if there was something between us in real life still, as I have not seen him for over a year. He replied enthusiastically but presumed I had split up with the Sag. We have spoken a few times since but when I told him I haven't, he said he now wouldn't be happy meeting up if I wasn't single. This is manipulative but then, it wouldn't be fair on my boyfriend.
I am lost. I badly don't want to hurt the Sag as he is so sensitive and adores me, plus there is a ball I meant to be going to with him and I would feel especially awful splitting up soon after.
The Cap stressed he has never had a proper girlfriend and never wanted one due to some issues he thinks he has, and I do not expect this to change. He doesn't want to hurt me again, so being realistic, (we are unusually open, honest and comfortable talking to each other) I said, if we slept together I would definitely develop stronger feelings for him and couldn't promise not to. But he said he couldn't promise he wouldn't either.
This would be a very risky stupid thing to do, but I can't get him off my mind again. He hasn't just forgotten me either, depsite the fact he must have hundreds of groupies now.
Yet would it be fair to stay with my boyfriend now with the horrible acknowledgment he is 'second best'?? He doesn't deserve this at all.
I don't know what to do...
Ahhh, sorry I just needed a bit of a vent.
Thanks if you did manage to read all this.

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 2511
From:
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posted June 19, 2007 02:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
yeah , we keep coming back to you !
good for us , i think !

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nattie33
Knowflake

Posts: 283
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 19, 2007 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
I answered your post

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MysticMelody
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Posts: 2599
From:
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posted June 19, 2007 10:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I think there's an aspect that causes it. I think that if you actually got to know him (or had a chance to study his full chart) you would realize that it was more about some of the aspects between you, than about the entire person. It might possibly have more to do with your disappointment in your dream of the Sag that leads you back to the dream of the Cap for solice. If you take some time to be single, but still get to know the Cap better and fulfill some of the aspect urges and longings (like to bond and share and create together, I don't mean sexually) and you take some time to really understand his chart, you might understand your feelings more and know what you really want.
(my opinion from a very similar situation)

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Happy Dragon
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Posts: 2621
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posted June 20, 2007 07:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
**Does this mean anything astrologically or does it just make you nuts?**
.. both ..

MNF if you want to post birth data .. i'm sure someone will take a look ..
it's probably connected to an outer planet transit .. maybe a currently retrograde planet ..
the synastry might hold the key .. and/or transits to the composite ..
what's the name of this famous band with a thousand groupies ??

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 20, 2007 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Hey cancerrg, nice to see you again!


nattie- Oh dear... why 20 years?? What's kept you so tied for so long?


MM-I think you're right... it's gotta be aspects. But I didn't have any disappointment with my Sag til I spoke to the Cap again... not sure if it has revealed problems or caused them? Good idea though. I wanted to do that, just meet up as friends or try being single... but achieving singledom would be unhappy and messy... What was your situation then?


HD- Hello! How are you? Got any new guitars? Maybe I'll post the data in a while... I've seen some composite aspects which do sound very suspect! Afraid the band is English and not that well known yet! You probably wouldn't have heard of them.... Then I could be wrong...!

Thank you for all the replies.

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nattie33
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Posts: 283
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 20, 2007 08:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nattie33     Edit/Delete Message
Karma

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 293
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 21, 2007 07:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
hey MNF
i know how you are feeling right now...it can be really painful to be caught in between two people that you really care about....and it is a really sticky situation because you would feel a sense of loss if either of them had to walk out of your life....
but i really think that maybe you should take time out to understand your own feelings, because its not fair to be with someone physically and to be thinking of someone else...i know it can be really difficult but the sooner you make your decision the easier it will be for you. if you delay it, it might just be a bigger mess.....
take care

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2599
From:
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posted June 22, 2007 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I think you have to be single to get a clear look at ANYTHING. hehe Blending with someone else on such a close basis is bound to cause new perspectives and new perceptions that have to be balanced and integrated into yourself. It makes things extra confusing.
I like to ground my spiritual perspectives with earthy perspectives. And my heavy Saturn influence has discovered the beauty of Time.
Two books are brought to mind...
One is A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson (preferably read after A Return to Love by same author) which discusses sharing your beauty, Light, and gifts with all men who are respectful and giving, and and who will accept them (I'm not talking about sex so this isn't as long of a list as you would imagine) and the second book is the earthy Mars and Venus on a Date, by John Gray author of the Mars/Venus books (you know... if Men are From Mars, when are they going back?? Just kidding! ) which discusses the natural progression of a relationship and how taking things too quickly only causes trouble later on. Gray's books are great, he was a monk for years and has a Phd. He rocks.
Anyway, if you take the advise of those two books together, you end up with love and romance and education and poetry and you don't spend all of your time trying to force the guy who you were chemically or astrologically attracted to (not that those are really different things) to become your "SOUL MATE" and live up to some impossible blah blah blah ya know, and you have so many avenues of learning and love and excitement that you are lonely much less than you ever were when you spent your life in relationships (uh, yeah, talking about myself here hehe) and you follow Marianne's advice and "become the woman you are meant to be/God wants you to be" instead of who you think society or your Mom or your friends or your husband/bf whatever thinks you should be.
And you get closer and closer and closer to the people you are meant to be close to... without forcing anything or lying to yourself or to others.
Ok
for what that's worth

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 24, 2007 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
LTBL- Thanks You're right. I might just end up being more confused! And I would kick myself if I realise the Saggie was best all along, but it's right to make your mind up sooner.

I don't think it helps my mum seems to think me and my boyfriend aren't right for each other despite her liking him and seeing he makes me happy. I can see she secretly thinks the Cap is a more exciting choice.

MM- Heya... A monk with a PhD???? Wow. Well, I'll have a look if I see them in a bookshop.
I've got a heavy Saturn influence too. Well. In the first house, conj. Ascendant. What's yours?

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MysticMelody
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posted June 24, 2007 05:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Cap AC, Cap moon in the first

I just found read a cool article and brought it here to post.

I'm sure mom just wants you to keep looking around and stay young and have adventures and not just get "tied down" to someone so soon. She wants you to have lots of opportunties so you will discover more and more the correct direction to go for you. At least, that is what I will want for my daughter when she reaches dating/relationship age.

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 25, 2007 07:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Snap! I've got the Cap Acsendant too! Would explain the fascination with Caps....

You're exactly right! That's what my mum said! But still, I get very easily influenced by her opinions and it made me go off the Sag more at the time.

Ok, I'm off to find this article then...

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cancerrg
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posted June 25, 2007 01:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
quite a tricky situation ,mnf! (i read whole of the post today only !)

and seriously i find it hard to think what i would do in that situation , lemme think !

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MysticMelody
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posted June 25, 2007 03:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Oh MNF, my situation did not involve Cap and Sag. Sorry to throw you off there. I hope you liked the article.

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 507
From: Kent
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 26, 2007 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message
I have a cap asc too - and am currently attracted to a cap.

He has Cap sun/Sag moon
I am Sag sun/leo moon

He is so attractive to me.

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 28, 2007 10:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
SparklingSag- Hi there! Nice to see another LL name I know! Whoa, that's a tight connection! Yeah, the Cap I know is also a Sag moon. Wicked combination. Especially since I'm a Virgo with Aries moon!

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 28, 2007 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Oh it's more tricky than ever now. Just spent over 5 hours speaking to the Cap online and even resulting in me blowing off seeing my boyfriend for a bit today and telling him I was going when the Sag came online too. I feel awful, I almost cried at one point. But I also really badly want the Cap now. He's still completely up for meeting up and is promising things will be different this time. Cos I'm sixteen and nearly seventeen and he has no more Capricorn hang ups about me being young.

Oh god. I don't know what to do...!!! I want him so badly, it kills. I can't stop thinking about him. But I very much don't want to hurt the Sag as he is such a wonderful person and very sensitive. Everything was getting better between us again but as soon as I speak to the Cap I can't resist him, it's mad.
My mum gave me the impression it's only definitely right to split up with people when you can't bear to be around them anymore... but I'll always love the Sag as a friend I know that. I don't want to sound full of myself but the Sag has given me the impression he'd be 100% devastated if we ever broke up.

Ohhhhh god.
Sorry. Ranting.

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 507
From: Kent
Registered: Nov 2003

posted June 29, 2007 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message
Hey hey mutable,

what do you mean its a tight connection? he's gone off to mexico for a few months so now am all depsondent. But i gotta have faith! anyways, how are you??

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Twinkle Stars
Knowflake

Posts: 152
From: Nyc
Registered: Jun 2007

posted June 29, 2007 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Twinkle Stars     Edit/Delete Message
Same situation here and you posted this on my birthday.

I know what you mean.


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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted July 01, 2007 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
SparklingSag- Hey hey back! I don't know, my vocabulary's become rotten recently. I just meant.... sort of that you had quite a few connections there like conjunctions or trines, to make you attracted to one another. That's all. I'm alright I guess. Weather's cra*p at the mo, isn't it? Only just got good but yet I'm sitting inside on a computer. So actually I'm rubbish haha.
How are you? Why's your guy gone to Mexico then??? Keep the chin up

Twinkle Stars- Haha cool name. Thanks for posting... I guess it's nice knowing you're not the only one. Happy Birthday.

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 507
From: Kent
Registered: Nov 2003

posted July 01, 2007 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message
Hey hey,

weather is so terrible over here at the moment! am off to italy for a holiday soon so should get some sun then. I can't bear too much rain.

My guy is studying abroad in mexico for 7 months. I'm upset that he's leaving just as it was all happening between us. But he's free to have an amazing year so its okay. I was abroad last year so know how important it is to feel free while away. But he's coming back so i'm just gonna relax and let nature take its course. He knows how I feel so it'll work out. (I hope:-))

lets hope the sun comes out soon!

sparkling

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freebird
Knowflake

Posts: 816
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted July 09, 2007 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for freebird     Edit/Delete Message
Hi MNF - Wouldn't you think that because you never actually got Cap you are feeling something unfulfilled and it's more of curiosity.

Sag is right next to you and so you don't have to chase it. I would suggest you to judge on chemistry and intuition.

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Sunny Mavericks
Knowflake

Posts: 118
From: CA, USA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 18, 2007 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sunny Mavericks     Edit/Delete Message
I know exactly how you feel- I am in the same boat as well. I do love two men, and on a soulmate level to make things worse. Only mine was an Aqua and my current bf is a Pisces. Needless to say, the Aqua was emotionally unavailable, and the Pisces is nothing but wonderful.

I agree with Freebird, it could be that you are mostly curious about what could be. Not saying that makes it any easier, but it gives you something to think about. I am staying with my pisces because I don't want to lose a good thing. But take it from someone who's been there. I was with my Aqua (also in a rising band- gotta love those drummers) and the relationship was painful and horrible. But I was ever so drawn to him and still believe we are soulmates. However, I have walked away from him despite his "changes". He is now ready for a committment but I love my Pisces and until something breaks us up, I know it would be wrong to leave him. Point is, don't leave your Sag for the Cap unless you were already planning on doing so. Would you leave him if there was no one else? Just something to think about.

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 1439
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004

posted July 19, 2007 10:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Hi SM- Hmm... maybe not such a good abbreviation?!

Emotionally unavailable people are soul destroying. I feel for you. But, from your advice, I guess you already know it's best not to leave someone to fulfill curiousity and desire. I was led to believe desire was the real deal and that was what mattered in life and that if I was thinking about someone else, something was wrong with the relationship. There wasn't. It's just when you are obsessed with stuff (anything, like drugs) it can get in the way of a relationship.
Only time can heal things. Hope it helps you

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tifavirgo85
Knowflake

Posts: 24
From: apple valley, california, usa
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 31, 2007 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tifavirgo85     Edit/Delete Message
well hm i bet if i look at this synastry chart i put my life on a uranus/venus aspect.. it sounds soo much like uranus how you guys met online and the attraction.

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