posted July 12, 2007 11:25 AM         

Since my first relationship with a boy, my love for variety has been expressed through cheating. This has not really been a problem for me so far but it bothers my boyfriend. Especially since he is a cancer with a lot of water and earth in his chart. I am trying to be faithful but to do that I have to suppress my urges to cheat. This makes me sad and unhappy, and I feel like I am loosing myself to make the relationship work.

Is cheating bad? Does this mean that something is wrong with me or that I have no morals? Can you love someone if you cheat on them? How do I make the best of this situation and still be happy?

Thanks Every One!

Jan 4th 1990 13:55 Washington, DC

Sun Capricorn 8th House
Moon Aries 12th
Mercury Capricorn 9th
Venus Aquarius 9th
Mars Sagittarius 7th
Jupiter Cancer 2nd
Saturn Capricorn 9th
Uranus Capricorn 8th
Neptune Capricorn 8th
Pluto Scorpio 6th
Ascendant Gemini 1st
True Node Aquarius 10th

posted July 12, 2007 11:38 AM         

They are selfish and only think about themselves sometimes.

If you are thinking of cheating on him then maybe you do not really love him.

posted July 12, 2007 11:38 AM         

They are selfish and only think about themselves sometimes.

If you are thinking of cheating on him then maybe you do not really love him.

posted July 12, 2007 11:47 AM         

Anyway, MiaMammy:

What you are feeling there isn't at all irrational or bad. A recent survey was conducted by MSNBC on the subject of infidelity and cheating and the number one reason why women cheated in a relationship its because they felt emotionally isolated trying to get what they need out of a relationship but never getting it.

Cheating is never a viable option; Its an obvious sign of distrust and major indication of infulfillment in a relationship. The current generation especially has been seeing the downhill slide of traditional definations of love and marriage and its getting quite and quite apparent that what ever worked for their parents just ain't gonna work for them.

posted July 12, 2007 02:28 PM         

The worst thing you could ever feel is guilt about anything that comes naturally to you. The second worst thing to do is to feel obligated to do anything you do not desire doing.

Remember this: there is nothing that is intrinsically right or wrong, there is only what serves you, only that which benefits you, only that which pleases you.

This may sound selfish, but it is not when you look at it as a form of self-love. And, you can not love, respect, hurt and treat anyone in anyway without being that which you do.

Every Act is An Act of Self-definition. Remember this in whatever you do.

Your cheating habits have little to do with your partner, or with whether you love him or not, but you can always check whether you love someone if their pain is your pain, if their joy is your joy.

If it does not please you to see your partner hurting, and it hurts you to see him/her hurt, stop doing whatever it is that is hurting you both. If your partner's hurts do not hurt you, then... Well, do whatever you think is the highest idea of who you are, do whatever it is that would best define you relative to your partner.

If you desire to be defined as a cheat, act like a cheat and cheat. If you desire to defined as a person who requires freedom, then act like a person who requires their freedom. There is a difference between a cheat and a person who loves their freedom.

So, be truthful about who you are. Don't pretend to be commited when you're not, because this puts undue pressure upon yourself.

You don't have to be faithful, but you have a responsibility to not hurt others.

You don't have to do anything you do not desire to do, but with that said, be responsible enough with that freedom and free will, to make sure you don't hurt others or yourself.

Now, by the sound of things, you are not enjoying this cheating spree... There sseems to be a lack of reconciliation between your desires.

posted July 12, 2007 02:41 PM         

Stop following me....you stupid annoying Libra.

It's funny....Libran men always get obsessed with me......stop being a stalker.

posted July 12, 2007 02:48 PM         

You've never dated me how the hell would you know about my relationships....idiot.

I'm 25. I have experience in relationships.

All of them have always been serious.

At least I go out and i don't stay on my comp all day like you. i actually have a social life off the cyber world.

It's funny how you make a stupid comment like that....as if you know me in person or something. You're just a screen name on a forum and know nothing about me in person.

I know what love is....and I have all the right to tell someone who wants to cheat on their partner that they don't love them.

That's knowing about relationships and respect. of course.....you're so retarded you'll probably tell her it's okay.

posted July 12, 2007 04:57 PM         

Twinkle:

From the way you have responded, its pretty clear that you are NOT in a relationship (how can anyone believe a word you say?)

Delusions are such a waste of effort aren't they? Now if you actually applied all that effort that you put into making such ridiculous claims and spewing insults that have no merit, and worked on improving your oh so limited view on things, then you might have actually tackled the subject with some more sense.

Stalker? Seriously don't flatter yourself. Why is it that you project the very thing you are onto others? Or have to variley forgotten of your situation with BUD?

Me get a life? I am not in my 20s and acting like some childish little brat who seriously needs to look upon her actions and work on them.

posted July 12, 2007 05:19 PM         

quote:

---

The worst thing you could ever feel is guilt about anything that comes naturally to you. The second worst thing to do is to feel obligated to do anything you do not desire doing.

Remember this: there is nothing that is intrinsically right or wrong, there is only what serves you, only that which benefits you, only that which pleases you.

This may sound selfish, but it is not when you look at it as a form of self-love. And, you can not love, respect, hurt and treat anyone in anyway without being that which you do.

---

I do not agree with the above because MM is in a relationship (not open relationship but monogamous) so sleeping with other men is not something that should come naturally as it bothers her partner and this has nothing to do with self-love really;

Mia does not sound like a classic cheater, I think the reason is deeper: there are polyamourous and mongamous people. Mia seems to be the first type, to be in a monogamous relationship is just not her cup of tea. Aqua Venus in the 9th!

Cheating is bad because it implies dishonesty but there is nothing wrong with being polyamourous and honest about it.

posted July 12, 2007 05:24 PM         

Might be a generalization but the only 3 guys I know with Venus in Aquarius all cheated at some point in their lives.

posted July 12, 2007 05:48 PM         

I see your point.

All I was trying to say is that:

Betrayal may be bad, but the worst type of betrayal is SELF-BETRAYAL.

If you think that I was supporting her cheating from my above statement, it means you misunderstood my point. Maybe I was not clear.

I was not on anyone's side.

It's all good and well to judge. It is just more useful to observe and lend comfort.

MiaMammy08 is not enjoying what she is doing. She is conflicted. The best way for her to stop hurting her boyfriend, and herself, is to forgive herself. I'm sure she's beaten herself up already.

Just so you know: I have never cheated. Not via a kiss, a hug, or anything that could hurt my partner.

The only reason I haven't done so is not because it is "bad". The reason is merely because it does not serve me.

Having mental anxieties like MiaMammy08, feeling guilt, sneaking around, most of all, hurting others does not serve me. It does not make me feel good.

All I was trying to make MiaMammy see is that, there is no need to feel bad about her actions. She must be kind to herself. She must see that hurting others is hurting herself and, she must just be truthful, because the truth will set her free.

Back to my point:

posted July 12, 2007 06:39 PM         

Exactly. Mia, we can only give you advice based on what your internal aspirations are. From what I can extrapolate, I do think that you may not feel comfortable in a set long-term relationship and is quite fine as long as you're honest with your partner about it. It ma or maynot hurt him but then again, toxicity will build up in your relationship if you keep feeling miserable like this.

posted July 13, 2007 02:48 AM         

There's a lot of learning ahead for this young woman.

I'd like to know where her NN is. I too am a Cap Sun with a squaring Moon, and Gemini Ascendant. I haven't cheated, but I have been in very free relationships (freedom being not needing to think long-term, and only seeing the love interest once a week or so), which I quite enjoyed. If she's got a Capricorn North Node like I do, then commitment could be a thing she needs to learn in this life. With a Gemini ascendant I know what it's like to always feel like getting on to the next thing, and constant avoidance of both boredom and commitment.

posted July 13, 2007 02:15 PM         

quote:

---

Twinkle Stars....Boyfriend not husband-therefore not cheating!

---

You are such a wierdo. LOL. It's commitment we are talking about here. A boyfriend shouldn't be cheated on either. That's why they are called a boyfriend. Dating is dating different people or just one person without commitment and on mutual agreement. Now either you are to young to understand that or you cheat all the time...that is why you are getting defensive.