posted July 13, 2007 06:18 PM         

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Without a Marriage License. There is no such thing as cheating.

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posted July 14, 2007 09:12 AM         

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Bottom line is that if you feel you're losing yourself just by being faithful then I wouldn't advise you to stay in the relationship. You got a long way ahead of you, if relationships are not you're thing then just go and explore. You've got an air venus like me, you don't need to be in one if its really more of a liabilty to you than a joy.

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Finally seeing things my way eh Dulcio? Lol! This is exactly what I mean when I talk about the concept of an open realtionship. Independenly charged people need to feel that they are still themselves in a relationship and when they strat to lose that vital part of themselves to a union, they become extremely depressed and look for ways to compensate for that emptiness and usually... they end up cheating (or find other viable ways for emotional escapism.)

So its good to lay down the open change ideas right from the start .

Sweet Stars:

posted July 14, 2007 03:12 PM         

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Finally seeing things my way eh Dulcio?

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posted July 20, 2007 06:21 PM         

If you really choose to be in a monogamous relationship (with both parties agreeing), then not even the "we are not married yet so cheating is not wrong" can justify the cheating act, coz monogamy means being faithful to only one person.
And well, you don't actually need a piece of paper (legal marriage document) to really make the vow of fidelity to someone right? Can we be faithful after signing the marriage papers, if we aren't even able to be faithful at the beginning anyways?? Marriage is the ultimate vow of staying together for the rest of our lives, but if you intended to be with only one person since the very start of a relationship (in other words, if you chose to be in a monogamous relationship), then you don't need marriage to actually make you faithful.

posted July 20, 2007 10:04 PM         

Well, I know how you feel. I loved a man so much that I didn't think that anyone had ever felt that way before- and I cheated on him 4 times. It wasn't because I didn't love him or because of anything like that- it had nothing to do with him. It's a long story so I won't try to explain but I just wanted you to know that you aren't a bad person. But maybe you should just be open with the men you are dating and tell them that you aren't the kind to commit. Then no one can really get hurt.

Hope this helped. There was some good advice from the others too.

Sunny

posted July 20, 2007 10:33 PM         

Add to that Venus in Aqua (Sensuality + Freedom) in the 9th house (Sag's house)...

I'm with Peri. It's entirely possible that you're polyamorous and there's nothing wrong w/ that. If you are, better for your potential lovers that you're aware of this.

Because of your age I'd say give yourself at least a couple of years to determine if that's the case...so much can change btwn 17 and 20.

The only thing wrong with what you've described is that you and the person you're with have different expectations - he expects monogamy and you crave freedom.

I don't think one can go against their fundamental nature and be happy. Either you're just not feeling it for him, regardless of how much you want to be or whatever, or you're not at a point where you can be happy with just one person. That's fine. Just recognize that so that you don't hurt people who have different expectations.

posted July 21, 2007 01:51 PM         

Cheating is BAD! Cheating is LYING!
If you were my girlfriend/wife and you cheat on me you would hurt me tremendously, I would loose trust and respect for you and our relationship would not grow but deteriorate.

If we are in an open relationship, even if we are just dating/girlfriend-boyfriend or marriage and I accept this side of you then it is fair game, you are not cheating on me so that means you are not lying on me.

If the person does not accept you in an open relationship were you can have your sexual encounters with other people then this is not the person for you and you need to move on because by staying and pretending to be someone you are not you are LYING to yourself or by cheating you are LYING to them and lies only end up in hurt.

posted July 23, 2007 07:07 PM         

Comica--thank god you said your speak...

Nattie--My god whoever said Marriage defines cheating! Cheating is a state of mind that follows through with or without actions. Marriage is a contract set with in your mind. A piece of paper has nothing to do with it, except to serve the purpose of tradition. Fidelity means everything when both partners agree to be committed. Cheating between a married couple and a unmarried couple is the same thing regardless. Cheating is cheating. Who knows and who cares within the relationship is something else entirely. Besides marriage is losing its popularity, in time, it will be less and less of a priority. Committment matters within your mind, body and soul, not for the sake of defining yourself and your partner underneath the law.

posted July 24, 2007 05:00 PM         

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could somebody send white light to my father. Because my spiritual guides are telling me that there is nothing good coming from his upcoming marriage. Since he has been with his current girlfriend, my father has slowly begun to lose love for myself and my siblings. We were his world now he doesn't care about us. My mother says that this woman wants my father to love her the same way he loves me because he loves me unconditionally beacuse I am his child. My father has always bragged about me because he is proud of me and that always causes jealousy from other women. But in the process he has lost all love for me. I know this may be his life lesson but nobody should have to live in a relationship like this. Oh God I hope that nothing bad happens because the last time he was involved with a woman who had bad spirits, he aged tremendously.

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posted July 27, 2007 03:08 AM         

I think one of the reasons you become unhappy in "committed" relationships is because you're not really interested in intimacy. And I'm not saying this as an insult. You're very young and I think it's actually the exception to want intimacy at your age and know how to achieve it. If you enjoyed depth more--a deep, close bond--it would be easier to stay faithful, but you probably value a lighter connection with people, variety above depth. This doesn't mean that you don't have depth, though. It's just that's not the part of yourself that you're interested in sharing with others or having them share with you. The main thing that's gained in a committed relationship is intimacy. If, for whatever reason, that's not what you're after, a commitment would be all form and no substance and would feel like a prison sentence. When you do want intimacy (which you likely will someday), you'll probably find being faithful easier to do b/c the commitment will bring rewards. I just wanted to add this as another possibility for your commitment difficulties, besides the polyamorous one.