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Author Topic:   Pre relationship problem (Virgo-Scorpio)
candyjan
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: New York, NY, USA
Registered: Sep 2007

posted September 27, 2007 03:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for candyjan     Edit/Delete Message
Hi everyone, I am new here. I registered because I need help trying to understand a situation that consumes much of my recent thought.

I met a Scorpio male about 1.5 ago (I am a Virgo female) at an event. We did NOT talk that evening but we made eye contact a couple times and something about him seemed really magentic. To the point that I contacted him online a couple weeks later (which I made clear was to hopefully build a FRIENDSHIP [which he didn't have a problem with]). We sent about 3 messages back and forth and he seemed really friendly and interesting (and expressed an interest in getting to know me better). Then I sent him a reply to a prior message and he hasn't replied back (which was like 3 weeks ago). I didn't say much which would warrant a reply (didn't ask any questions) but I shared some stuff that he could have given feedback on. Also at the end of that last email I wished him well in his last year of college and told him not to be a stranger (does that seem like a brush off).

So now I have become a little fixated on him because I am wondering what he is thinking and why he just abruptly stopped our budding friendship.

Some stats about me: I have my Sun and Mercury in Virgo, with an Aquarius Moon and my Venus and Mars are in Leo. I also have a Cancer ascendant.

Some stats about him: He has his Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars in Scorpio and his Moon is in Libra

Can anyone figure out from our stats why I am so fixated on him and also what he's thinking and why the abrupt cessation of communication...Also from our stats does it seem like we might be compatible as friends or even more. Thanks

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annaf
Knowflake

Posts: 116
From:
Registered: Oct 2006

posted September 27, 2007 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for annaf     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome Candyjan!

I'm in a bit of a rush right now, so just very quickly a few thoughts.

My first impression was 3 or 4 emails in 1.5 years? There must have been other long periods of silence and if you've really only communicated that little, what might seem to you like a budding friendship, might just be a very casual acquaintancy for him. If he"s only in college, he's still very young and that age, interests and attention span might be more flexible.So that's one option that he's just not that involved in the whole thing as you are, hence 3 weeks of silence might mean very little to him.

I'm a cancer ascendant and have been in a similar situation with a man as you are, also situations where he hasnt responded and me wondering why not. But that"s a different story. In your case he might either not be interested (even in friendship) or......(and this is my big problem, so considering that we both probably have a capricorn descendant, you might be similar) you might sound very casual in your emails. Reading your 'good luck for next year and dont be a stranger' closing remark, really sounds like a closing remark for a couple of months. Certainly nothing I would respond to in 3 weeks.

Astrologically, his personal planets seem to fall in your 4th and 5th house, but without birthtime etc. it's difficult to give you a more detailed answer. In your synastry chart, is your saturn strongly triggered?

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annaf
Knowflake

Posts: 116
From:
Registered: Oct 2006

posted September 27, 2007 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for annaf     Edit/Delete Message
sorry, oopssss.....I just noticed that you didnt specify whether years, weeks, months or whatever. So I guess, probably you were talking about 1.5months?! In that case my impression is even more shaped by your closing remarks. Whatever you said in the mail which I cant judge, my feeling would be that your closing remakrs really sounded like you didnt expect an answer in the very near future.

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candyjan
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: New York, NY, USA
Registered: Sep 2007

posted September 27, 2007 02:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for candyjan     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you AnnaF for the very helpful replies. I'm sorry I didn't really proofread. I met him 1.5 months ago and we exchanged the 3 emails in a week time span and then he just never wrote back (which has been 3 weeks). I was kinda confused because he was very friendly in his emails and seemed to want to get to know me better like i wanted to know him better.

Upon reflection, I think it could be that my emails seemed casual and also (as you astutely pointed out) my closing remarks didnt seem to warrant an immediate response. I would like to send him another email but am hesitant now based on possible astrological incompatibility. I'm pretty sensitive (maybe my Cancer ascendant) and things like not responding for 3 weeks drive me crazy and honestly kind of hurt my feelings. I don't know if it's a general personality trait of his or it was because of my closing remarks but I generally like to keep in touch with my friends more than that.

Since you seem quite knowledgeable, from looking at our stats (Me: Sun and Mercury in Virgo, Moon in Aquarius, Mars and Venus in Leo and having the Cancer ascendant AND Him: Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars in Scorpio, Moon in Libra, not sure about his ascendant)can you tell if we are at all compatible as friends primarily and maybe even in a romantic way. I'm sorry I probably come off as the obsessed novice that I am. Thanks so much again for the helpful advice :-)

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OMG Jay
Knowflake

Posts: 248
From:
Registered: Sep 2007

posted September 27, 2007 03:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OMG Jay     Edit/Delete Message
Scorp men usually let you know if they want you.

So I don't know. Maybe you should move on and find someone else.

I have a Cancer ASC too and my current boyfriend of 1 year is a Scorpio.

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annaf
Knowflake

Posts: 116
From:
Registered: Oct 2006

posted September 27, 2007 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for annaf     Edit/Delete Message
Hi candyjan,

I'm a cancer ascendant with saturn in 1st and I'm also very sensitive and am ALWAYS hesitant to make any kind of move. But please dont make any decisions based on alleged astrological (in)compatibility because really as I said before with the information you've provided, one can honestly not judge whether you are compatible or not. You need the whole chart, houses, saturn, pluto, uranus, nodes, how your descendants interact etc. etc. to get an idea. Do you think you could provide both your birth details? But even then, I wuold be extremely cautious to give you a thumbs up or down for a relationship just based on astrology. I know several couples where the chart doesnt look great, but they have an incredable connection.

So you reacted strongly to this man and he seemed to repsond to your initial contact, so why not get in touch with him again in a couple of weeks. With something random, invitation to a party or something, in case you feel scared to suggest a one to one.

I honestly dont think your closing remarks showed that you wanted to intensify contact. I understand that him not contacting you hurts, I'd feel the same way, but maybe he was just as surprised to get your "nice knowing you, See ya' mail. Cancer ascendants easily cramp up and focuse on their own hurt, i certainly do, but let's just imagine for a second he is also a cancer ascendant, how would you have reacted if you had gotten your mail? hurt? :-)

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Isis
Knowflake

Posts: 1820
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004

posted September 28, 2007 03:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isis     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Candy -

quote:
Some stats about him: He has his Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars in Scorpio and his Moon is in Libra

Those are all my placements, except the Mars in Scorpio.

This is totally how I would take it, it's completely biased, and I know people likely can list a millions reasons why they would do it differently, or that is wrong...or whatever, but, anyway...

I had a similar xp w/ a guy recently online, and basically, if someone doesn't ask anything back about me, I get the impression that they are either very into themselves, or are more concerned with telling me who they are than letting me get to know them and getting to know me. However, I make sure to ask questions in my emails - it keeps the convo going. But if the person just replies back by answering my questions, period, I generally won't respond back.

The few times I've done that, they must have realized how it appeared, because usually w/in a few days, if they are really interested, they'll send a second email that seems more interested.

As for the well wishes about college and not being a stranger, I would probably take that, along w/ the "apparent" lack of interest (by not asking return Qs) as someone who either wasn't that interested in me, or not interested in making an effort.

Once I know the person better, and we talk on IM, the convo flows more freely, but I find in emails where you don't really know each other, questions going back and forth are important to keep the dialogue going. Otherwise it can just fade off.

I know that's not the message you intended to convey and honestly you did nothing wrong really. I just feel uniquely qualified to answer your Q cause I share all but one of his listed planetary placements and I had a similar situation come up recently.

I hope it helps!

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