posted November 13, 2007 09:05 PM           

I'm an intelligent, beautiful woman who will spend the rest of my life without a mate.

I don't know what I did to deserve this plot in life, but hey, it's better than dealing with ********* .

posted December 04, 2007 01:28 PM         

2 men wanted to marry me, but I didn't want to be with them. The two that I would have considered marrying...both moved away.

posted June 09, 2009 09:00 AM         

quote:

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I'm just wondering if anyone else out there has ever felt that they may be fundamentally unable to maintain a relationship. By their own doing. *sigh*

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Uh, yes, all the time. Most of the volatility in my relationships comes from me.

How has this feeling manifested in your relationship Ghani? What do you think you are doing "wrong"? Do you think it's salvageable? Tell a bit more. Perhaps we can help. I'm so sorry to hear of your trouble.

posted June 13, 2009 10:15 AM         

"He is amazing. No really!. He listens to me. We like the same things. I have never found anyone who understands me like this. Astrologically we are a good match because his Venus is conjunct my (long list of degrees and mathematical symbols). Could this be my soul mate?
Oh and the sex is AMAZING!!! 4 hours the other night!! Really!
If any woman looks in his direction your hackles rise.

Somewhere round about the month mark you will have the first row or wobble.This will slightly unsettle you (a bit like a knife to the solar plexus)
"I think it's possibly his transits, plus he's stressed at work...and I've been a bit off too so....
It will be back on track but something will fundamentally have changed. There is a chip in your "windscreen of love"
But the make up sex will be AMAZING!!

4 months to 1 year

You will settle into a routine. Not a dull one. You will still be excited at seeing him and still boring your friends witless with tales of his majestic qualities and his occasional not so majestic qualities.
The sex will still be AMAZING but you don't feel the need to perform like an extra in a 50 cent video every 5 mins and once or twice you have both been too tired to bother.
If any woman looks at him you will raise your eyebrows at her but your hackles will stay unrisen.

2 to 5 years
You will most probably be either married or living together. Either one or both of you will have given up any semblance of being a sex god/goddess. You will cheerfully stay in wearing sweat pants and have a takeaway because "I can't be arsed getting ready to go out"
You do not flush the toilet anymore before you have a pee in case he hears you and do not leap out of bed before he wakes to brush your hair and apply subtle lip gloss.
One eye glued together with last nights mascara and insane bedhead is fine because he never notices anyway so...
He will not even bother to talk to you anymore when watching tv.
You have sex only because it's "Been a bit long since we last did"
You will argue about who goes on top to do all the work.
You bicker constantly about mundane things but don't have major rows. Your heart doesn't leap when he comes through the door but you shout things like
"Did you remember the milk? Cos if you didn't, you get right back out again and get it" or
"Wipe your feet. I've just vacumed.

If anyone mentions the word soulmate you snort jovially "Hah!If he is I've been shortchanged! and then say "Well he's not too bad really whilst tapping hard on his bald spot.

5 to 7 years
This is the danger time. You will suffer terminal lowgrade resentment as you scrub yet more of his skidmarks off the toilet bowl whilst thinking "Why is it always me doing this?
You will also think this whilst cooking, hanging out the washing, remembering everyone's birthdays and all other stuff he "forgets" to do ad infinitum........
You will point out his bald spot during bickering.
If another woman looks at him you wonder if she needs to go to Specsavers.
And this good people is when you are faced with a choice.
Do I stay or do I go?
And to answer your original question Ghani.
It just depends what sort of person you are.
I always felt I deserved more. Some people just put up and shut up.
I will never have another long term relationship but I will never again wield a toilet brush in a resentful manner

posted June 14, 2009 03:14 AM         

quote:

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Do you have Saturn in the 7th, by any chance?
I do and supposedly that is what makes me feel I am not worthy of love...
Therefore I have had terrible times building and maintaining a relationship.

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Natally, I have Saturn in the 7th in Cancer (conjunct my Moon). I just ended a very very long term relationship. I think the Cancer part (also, Venus in the 7th too, not conjunct) has made me clingy and tenacious and good at the nurturing, long-haul part of the relationship.

The thing Saturn in 7th does I think is not automatically cause trouble in building or maintaining a relationship--it just makes that aspect of your life seem SERIOUS and HEAVY and PAINFUL and like it's a HUGE DEAL if you're not perfect at it. Saturn brings this to any house it's in natally, and you have your first real chance to spring yourself from it during your Saturn Returns.

For instance, my Saturn-in-2nd-House friend thinks it's all SERIOUS and PAINFUL and a HUGE DEAL when he doesn't have enough money or a good job or the external markings of success. And me? Stand-alone 2nd House Jupiter here, I feel optimistic and bouyant about money/possessions. They just aren't a huge deal for me...I don't judge myself about them. But relationships? My Saturn in the 7th house makes me sooo judgmental and cruel to myself about whether I'm doing well enough in that area of my life.

Whatever is happening in your love life, Saturn in the 7th can make you judge it harshly, worry about it, or take it too seriously. Hence seeing things as "success" or "failure."

posted June 14, 2009 08:55 AM         

I recently realized, being on bed rest and not having much else to do but internalize and analyze my entire life to this point, what a lot of my past relationship issues fell victim to. I was told at 19 that I would not have children. Being a child of divorce and an absent, drug using father and wounded, bitter mother, I thought at that time "who cares? I don't want to have any kids anyway, and I'll NEVER get married. It never works out anyway." With this attitude, I never took any of my relationships very seriously. Not really, anyway. I had long term relationships, lived with some of my boyfriends, but I felt inside that it was never really going to go anywhere because I could not give him a family, and therefore was just "playing house" for as long as I was comfortable. In this way, I guarded my heart from getting too attached, when somebody I had a real conneciton with came along, it was usually while I was involved with someone else, and I would ultimately leave the person I was with, thinking I could just pick up and have this amazing relationship with person B, and then get scared I would never be enough for him and run away again. Usually literally, as in moving across the country or to another country. This pattern caused me to be very distant with most of the men I became involved in, and controlling of the situation, thus never allowing any "real" feelings to develop or let things happen naturally. The control freak part of me definatly runs in the family, my mother and grandmother are the same way, most of the women in my family are like this, we all just manifest it in different ways. Mine is to know what is going on with everyone around me and manipulate the situations so nobody (but me) will be hurt by the actions of others. Must have something to do with the heavy Aqua side of me, the manipulation coming more from my opposing Leo moon. It's like I'm always thwarting my own purposes, I can never relax and just let things happen as they may, and so I will most likely be alone. Maybe for the benefit of any poor man that thinks he loves me. I'm just sad that now that I am pregnant, a miracle by all accounts, I don't have much of a chance of making things work with her father, and for her sake, that makes me sad.

Bunnies,

That is most certainly a timeline I'm sure a lot of people are familiar with. I heard once that couples fall in and out of love with each other all the time, the trick is not to do it at the same time. As long as one of them is still fighting to keep things together, they will overcome the "boring" times and get back on track. Maybe not to the lusty extent of a new relationship, but they will grow and learn together, which is what true love is all about.

Gypsee,

It's very hard to let go of the memories anhd feelings that shaped our emotional landscape. I understand. The sad part is when you are wounded, you tend to attract the wounded and want to "fix" them. Once they are "fixed", or you realize there is nothing else there keeping you attached to that person, you are left alone again, but with your heart intact due to the protective barrier you have built up... Trust me, I understand....

Lucia,

posted June 14, 2009 03:04 PM         

quote:

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I'm just wondering if anyone else out there has ever felt that they may be fundamentally unable to maintain a relationship. By their own doing. *sigh*

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