posted December 17, 2007 03:17 AM         

I met an ex- boyfriend of mine at a local bar for a drink tonight. We have been best friends since I was 18. We had way too many drinks and went back to his place.

I don't need to spell out what happened between us, but in the middle of it all, I felt a huge wave of guilt and feeling of disgust for myself. I have never been a casual sex type of person. Everyone i've ever slept with has been someone I care for immensely. Even though his guy was my best friend, I felt I was doing this for the wrong reasons and immediately stopped everything and left.

I feel horrible about myself right now. I'm in a destructive phase where I just hate myself. I just found out that my ex-husband after just 1 month of separation is getting engaged to the girlfriend he had when we were married. They are looking for rings at Harry Winston.

I am trying to get over this. I am trying to move on, but the reality is i feel so lonely and empty inside and nothing will fill this void. I am exercising very destructive behaviors, when typically i am a very conservative person who always follows the rules.

I'm becoming the type of person I can't respect. I can't get over it. My husband left me (a 28 yr old) for a 25 yr old. He is moving across the country to start a life with his new girlfriend and leaving me and our daughter behind. I never thought life could be so cruel and hurtful.

I don't know what to do. i feel so bitter, alone, and hurt. I don't know what can make this better. I am destroyed, I am crushed, i am nothing right now. How do people deal with this kinds of pain and disappointment?

posted December 17, 2007 05:05 AM         

Try not to fall into self-loathing. Think about why you're doing what you are, and if you don't like your reason why, stop. But forgive yourself for what you've already done.

posted December 17, 2007 05:17 PM         

I want to also emphasize everything that Jane said to you, it was excellent advice. I'd like to add to that by suggesting that you get yourself into some counseling or a support group or speak to a clergy person of your choice if you are religious.

I, and many other people, have done so in times of crisis. We all understand that you are a parent and that it holds a lot of weight in helping one to end certain behaviors, but it doesn't work all the time or there would be no alcoholic parents or drug addict parents. None of them want to hurt their children with destructive behavior either, so we have to tell ourselves the truth and admit that we need assistance.

I'm not saying that you are an alcoholic or drug abuser, I'm just saying that you need a rational adult or many people, friends, to hold your hand right now so that you can purge your pain.

Also, I don't know if your father is an astrologer, but that is a horrible thing to say to your child, that they are cursed in love. I'm a professional astrologer and I know that what he said is a ridiculous notion!! Just telling someone that can possibly have them exhibit certain behaviors that will draw in people who aren't good for them.

The last thing I'll say and it's not the most important, if you would like an astrological consultation you may contact me. I do charge so know that in advance, BUT FIRST, get yourself some counseling or speak to a friend who is willing to listen to you and not judge you. I don't think this is quite the time for you to be looking into the stars yet, you need to grieve your situation for a while first.

God bless you and your daughter, this, too, shall definitely pass and you are moving THROUGH it now, it won't last forever.

You are not the bad guy here, you do not deserve to be destroyed.

Peace, Love & Light,

Geocosmic Valentine
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine