posted January 25, 2008 12:46 PM         

I've been living with my Virgo friend (sorry I dont know the rest of her chart!) and its to the point where I have to leave the house before I say something really horrible. I swear we seemed to have so much in common before, and now...I struggle to see why we are even friends. I've had a really rough year and this one isnt getting any better (lots of death and mental strife), and dealing with her has made me feel crazy.
So my question for you all is, have you ever had to deal with a hypersensitive and sort of selfish virgo? Or am I just far too mean and selfish myself?
This could just be a result of living with 3 other people (and we all know Aquas need their space), but sometimes I'm appalled at the things she says and does.

Craziest part is, she's seriously dating an Aqua man who is super clingy and begs for her attention.

posted January 25, 2008 02:03 PM         

I have a Virgo mom, Virgo mother-in-law and Virgo sister in law and while my daughter and I love them all....they drive us CRAZY~!~!

Now, Virgo opposed to my sun is supposed to be "compatible" astrologically...maybe it is my high Aqua influence...but NO!!!!!

We, my kid and I, find the Virgo ladies in our lives to be, petty, cynical, over-thinking everything, too grounded and just a bit unable to let it all go...

Now the sis-in-law was married to an Aqua sun....eekkkkkk!!! Failure....she wanted him to do this and that, to partake in the "traditional" relationship and....yes..failure....

Finally, in my mid-years (am almost 46) my Virgo mom and I are reaching an understanding...forget she had to raise a strange little Fish chick, but one with the aloofness and detachment of the Aqua has confounded her...She is at odds with her Aqua grandaughter alot of the time, but has gained respect for us kinds in the Winter of her life to accept her-my daughter- (us) for who she/we are and has even apologized for particular statements to us.

It is not an easy mix...the individuals have to be SO emotionally secure and mature to deal with the issues that will come of the Aqua/Virgo mix...

posted January 25, 2008 04:53 PM         

I know I need to be more patient, but I guess I was wearing thin because of all the bad things happening in my life, and her not being as sensitive as I was for her.

posted January 26, 2008 07:42 PM         

she was talking about the way a new girl at her job was dressed and saying how it was ridiculous etc. Mom tends to be pretty critical of a lot of people without giving them a chance - so this is a sore spot for us because i am constantly telling her to be less judgemental and more accepting and maybe she will actually be suprised and get along with whomever she is talking about. Basically, don't underestimate people and become more open to giving them a chance.

Well she took it very personally, started screaming as loudly as she could - i think the only thing stopping her attacking me with her handbag was the fact that i told her i would get into an accident if she tried to physcially hurt me. I wasn't allowed to talk - only she was - if i started to talk she said she would get out of the car and walk home and then she called me some names. got of the car door and slammed it as loudly as possible. Also, her parents and sister (all of whom i am very close to) have a hard time talking to her and always side with me when we have an argument because she seems impossible sometimes.

we are at odds more times than not- but much better since i have moved out (i am 24, she is 45). i guess this story illustrates my utter bewilderment of her way of criticizing EVERYTHING and EVERYONE but not being able to handle any kind of advice and taking it as a personal attack.

I have had virgo friends and acquantainces and usually there have been no problems, and especially on this scale.
it is a constant uphill battle and i am walking on eggshells some of the time.
Although, i have never lived with a virgo (except mom) so i'm not sure how that relationship would pan out as living with someone takes a friendship to another level.

posted January 26, 2008 08:15 PM         

I had to laugh at your post....my Virgo mom critizes my Aqua kid of her dress and makeup frequently, and has done the same to me in the past, tho she knows I will shut her off for days if she gets into my business, so she is learning to keep her mouth shut.

My kid gets the feeling that her Virgo aunt, my sis-in-law does not like her, and I get the feeling the Virgo is insanely jealous of my gorgeous Aqua daughter....

Yes they can be very critical..but I usually throw my mom's crap back at her.

I recently purchased 2 Husky pups and my mom questioned me starting a retirement fund (she has been on my rear for years about this.) I told her that if I die penniless, destitute with nothing in the bank, atleast I will have died happy, with my animals and my things...she shut up after that lecture from me.

posted January 26, 2008 11:49 PM         

how does your daughter react to her criticism?

also - do you find you can be more open with her now?

that is positive that your mom has gotten to a point where she listens to you though.
did she have a problem with that when you were younger?

i am asking because my mother has a problem with listening to me - i will tell her one thing a few times and she literally just doesn't hear it being said because she doesn't pay attention.
not that i'm a walk in the park, but we are so different sometimes i don't know how to even find neutral ground.

also, maybe you'll find this funny too - i am laughing to myself thinking about this...
i have an 11 year old brother who naturally lives with my parents...my mother makes him have a schedule every week accounting for every minute from the time he comes home from school to his bedtime....
for example - "6:30-7" Eat Dinner
"7:00-7:30" Take a shower etc.
She tried this with me but i wasn't having it....she gets annoyed when he strays from the schedule which i find to be funny because it's ridiculous.

posted January 27, 2008 09:11 PM         

My kid responds to my mother's cyincal critisims with sarcasm and humor (she is a delightfully funny young woman!) Have had to correct her many times in the past for her lack of respect where my mom, her Virgo grandma is concerned...the Aqua daughter speaks the truth, to be sure, but I re-mind her age deserves respect and dignity.

The last time Virgo mom critisized Aqua daughter as to her mode of dress, my kid threw some crap back at her that left my mom spinning, and, again, I had to scold my daughter (all the while laughing inside.) My mom later called and apologized to her, telling my daughter she (my mom) ought to keep her mouth shut sometimes!

posted January 27, 2008 09:12 PM         

She has figured out that she HAS to accept me (and my kids) for who we are, or we will not be around to be in her life...that much..

I never talked to my mom much when I was younger, she just did not know what to do with the very trippy little Fish chik who was/is SO Aquarian....my grandparents did alot of raising me, (thank goodness) and my mom still does not know of things I did in my teenage years...and never will.

I suppose I never talked to her cause I knew she would not listen anyway.

posted January 30, 2008 02:42 AM         

I am a Virgo woman with an Aqua man, but my best female friends have been earth or water signs. With them there seems to be meaningful emotional bonding and instinctual trust.

However, my best, most fulfilling love relationships have always been with air sign men (Aquas&Libras), probably due to my Leo ASC and Moon&Venus conjunction in Libra...

posted January 30, 2008 11:51 AM         

i definitely agree with you on that hippichick.
it is nice to hear that you and your mom are getting along better and that she is learning to accept you and your children - hopefully one day i will be able to say the same

thank you for everyone's replies - i can definitely see where you all are coming from!

it is a difficult pairing - but i think it can work - maybe just both people need to be more open and accepting of differences - but that can be said of anyone.

i dated on briefly - and his virgo traits were obvious but they weren't overwhelming. the only surprising thing and also what ultimately made me end our brief relationship was that he was extremely selfish.

posted January 31, 2008 03:10 AM         

The comment lioneye made about Virgo's criticizing when they're worried about someone they care about not meeting their potential is so true. It reminded me of back when I was with the Virgo/Aqua guy. It was late and I was working on an English paper that was due the next day, and the words just weren't flowing. I knew what I wanted to say, but not quite yet how to say it. I decided to do what I often do in that situation and just go to sleep, confident that my sleeping mind would work through the ideas and when I woke up I'd be able to spit out the paper quickly. So I went to bed, where the Virgo/Aqua was. He was surprised I was finished so quickly, and I told him that I wasn't, but that I'd do it in the morning. And he said, "Don't you think that's irresponsible?" I can remember pulling my head back and my eyes going big. Part of me was irritated ("Oh no he didn't" ) but another part of me was amused. I explained how this system works for me, but he was so worried that I would oversleep or not have enough time to finish the paper in the morning, that he couldn't sleep! Eventually I had to distract him.

I agree that my system was risky, but it wasn't irresponsible b/c I knew I'd get the paper done. I wasn't shirking any responsibilities. But the Virgo in him saw it as irresponsible to maximize risk, while risk works for me b/c it gets the adrenaline pumping.

posted February 02, 2008 03:22 AM         

One (of the many) stress factor(s) is that he needs me a lot, wants my critique in his projects, yet never follows my advice. When he comes back and wants more feedback, I tell him my view again, he ignores it, and this goes on and on and on...

A conversation we had two days ago, while going to a library (we have common interests which definitely plays a role in the relationship):
Aqua: This is a totally new place, really nice.
Virgo: Are you sure this is new? I think it's been here for a couple of years.
Aqua: Yes, yes, they just opened it.
Virgo, Oh, okay...
After half an hour in the library:
Virgo: Yes, this is a really nice place and it must be new, I would have found this otherwise.
Aqua: No, it's been here for years.

Go figure...!!!!!!!! As it turned out, it was new (so Aqua was right at first, but when I agreed, he changed his mind).

posted February 06, 2008 12:14 PM         

Maybe sometimes your Aqua only appears not to be taking your advice. As in your exchange about the library, he probably accepts your advice so freely that it starts to seem to him like his own idea.

My SO asks for my input a lot too...I wonder if the quincunx aspect has a lot to do with it? I've been thinking it's b/c my Sun is exactly on his MC, but now you have me considering the 6-8 relationship. Maybe b/c we're different in every way--element, modality--we get the sense of seeing the full picture when we combine perspectives.

posted February 06, 2008 05:18 PM         

That is for sure! I said the same thing to my mom the other day now that we are semi-talking - she is being crazy nice but still hasn't apologized for the almost handbag assault LOL -

That is something that i can put into practice with most people but with my virgo mom all my principles fly out the window because i get so upset and over emotional when we argue and have a hard time staying focused and balanced.