posted April 29, 2008 11:37 AM         

Well, for the record and to be clear, what you said was fantastic and spot on. No need to apologize for a bad wake up or back pedal or be politically correct. It wasn't harsh, it was just plain, unadulterated TRUTH that applies to all of us to a different degree.

And you will meet him, some day, when you are ready (are we ever?). And, a little free advice from painful experience (and your future self)... until then, work on not creating any more Karma in need of working out or balancing when the time comes. Because trust me... KARMA'S A ***** .

~some love to you
m

posted April 29, 2008 07:52 PM         

quote:

---

I guess we're all searching for the right person...each in our own ways.....it's something strange and elusive, but we carry on, sometimes not knowing what we are searching for exactly. I do feel that our Twin Soul might not be here at the same time, but we can find comfort with someone on a similar frequency, with similar goals, or who reminds us of them.

---

posted May 09, 2008 08:08 AM         

"I think we should have sex with other people."

Fine, I'll tell you whether I fell comfortable with a yes or no. Then we can take it from there.

"If you are mature, spiritual and enlightened you will be able to share intimacy."

I'm off. That smacks of manipulation and I hate people trying to bully me by sugary means or sharp. If you ... then you will. You could slap in "love me" in there for a common scenario.

I flicked through that so maybe I am doing it a misservice, I'm sorry if I did. I don't object to the principle it's just the way it is wrapped up that I don't like. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it mentioned sex once. It used euphemisms.

posted May 09, 2008 10:41 AM         

Tilda Swinton made strident affirmations that her children are her priorities (and refused to comment on anything else). Unlike here where children are mentioned somewhere down the list at point number 12.

P.S

This celeb version doesn't quite exude the same glamour:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article1363055.ece

posted June 17, 2009 10:33 AM         

I know several couples with similiar lifestyles to this.

couple #1
Married with two children. Husband got testicular cancer, he recovered, but he is either physically unable, or doesn't want to (never got the full details) have sex any more. His wife loves him, and she did not want to break up their family.
She met someone, had an affair, at first in secret, then told her husband about it, because she loved this man as well.
Now they all three live together and have for about 7 years or so.
The wife still sleeps with the husband.
The boyfriend? sleeps in the finished basement, which is like an apartment.
They take their meals together sometimes, and sometimes not.
Apparently, the wife waits until the children are asleep to go down to the basement for her, um, visits, and she makes sure to be back in bed before the kids wake up.
I guess they think he's a roomate.
I don't know how this will play out in the long run because kids are uncannily perceptive.

couple #2
Married over 20 years. They participate in threesomes and sometimes they have sex with another person alone. Their rules are that the other spouse has to know about it, and nothing emotional can grow out of it.
One or two times I've seen where the wife had to take over the situation and tell a girl to stop calling. it's purely sexual.
They seem very in love, and I know they have sex alot, because she tells me, so, I guess they just feel that instead of the possibility of being betrayed and the pain that would cause, they just give each other freedom. Don't know.

Couple #3
Married about 3 years now. They are swingers. Hang out at swingers clubs, have swingers parties, all that. Their rule is that neither partner can have sex with someone else unless the other spouse is involved or watching.
The husband is a cancer, and I swear he is so much in love with that woman, he fairly gushes when speaking about her.
She is a capricorn, and she doesn't say much about it at all, but she is aware that everyone knows.
They have a huge family, both bringing kids from previous marriages.
I have no idea if the kids know.
I do know that they practice safe sex, because the husband came into where I worked once, for a cold drink, and he opened his old fashioned metal lunch box, and condoms fell out.

posted June 17, 2009 06:54 PM         

And if sex is not really the most important in these relationships, why wanting/needing to sleep with other people?? After all, sex is of no importance, and no emotional development with another person is allowed. Why bother with more people then??

Also, some says that their main partners will always be the main, but then says that we shouldn't lose better opportunities come.. But isn't better opportunity = better partner, which means that the initial favorite is no more "the favorite"? Coz yeah, no matter what, we all (or at least most of us) will always have only one favorite, no matter how many we love. And ah, that's why people are jealous by nature - coz they knew this deep inside themselves, and also that's why the fuss about "ah we give each other freedom to sleep with other people, but we have to have knowledge/control of who each other is sleeping with, and make sure there's no emotional developments!" - translate: "me needs new excitement and so do you, but I want to make sure you won't fall in love with another, and so do you."

Not that I'm saying polyamory is wrong or doesn't work. Of course it would. It's just one of the various preferences people has, and each should find the ones that suits them better. But now people need to understand that depending on the reasons, polyamory might actually be just an excuse.. just like people choosing monogamy for the wrong reasons.
And it annoys me, that people often claim to be open minded, yet they are just beautifying their preferences (whether polyamory, polygamy or monogamy) while criticizing the other preferences. And yeah, I'm being evil to the first post :P (coz I didn't read the entire thread yet), coz it seems to beautify one preference (in this case, polyamory), while subtly criticizing another (monogamy). Polyamory can certainly work well, and yeah jealousy or whatever in monogamy can be bad - just as monogamy can actually work too (yeah polyamory is not for just anyone, just as monogamy - omg the perfect monogamy relationship takes big efforts and time?! :P *sarcasm or whatver mode*), while polyamory can just have wrong reasons behind too.

People painting polyamory with beautiful colors while only seeing the negative sides of monogamy is just as bad as people seeing monogamy with rosey colors while condemning others.

*edit*

posted June 18, 2009 02:07 PM         

The fact is, these people have no self-control. There is also a difference between fantasizing about being with another person and actually sleeping with them.
As "mind over matter" can bring people into a polyamorous relationship, it can also KEEP THEM OUT of a polyamorous relationship. I know which I'd rather have!!