posted May 23, 2008 03:10 AM         

And as regards your age, I did not want to sound patronising but basically any age that is younger than oneself...is young!!
My most tumultous years were between 38-42.
I truly didn't know my a** from my elbow!
I am aware there is some astrological Uranus/ Saturn thing going on during that period.
So as Bette Davis so memorably put it
"Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night"
But one day I had an epiphany. And every cliche that could ever happen, happened in that instance.
A shaft of sunlight came through the window (true!) and that expression "scales fell from my eyes?) I felt that physically happen.
I wont bore you with the background but I uttered some words about how I would never be in this situation again....and I stepped out of that "me" and my whole life changed.
I am not talking a religious conversion here. It was just something on a deep personal level.

posted May 23, 2008 02:28 PM         

quote:

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AG-- where does she seem to be stalling out? Do you think it's a capricorn/career/ambition thing or something deeper? Mutable=scattered energy? I didn't know this, but there's a lot I don't know. Being pretty mutable myself I find this interesting.

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She's really stalling out everywhere. She feels her hands are tied in almost all respects, and like most Sags that triggers the fight to break free. She has decided to file for bankruptcy to get out of that stress. It looks like she's going to move back to her mom's in Vermont now as well. She never found a set of friends while living here (not that she really seemed to ever try). She doesn't have any family out here either. She hasn't had a vacation in over a year-and-a-half. I think she's just done. She talks about alternating between anger and depression often. (I am very thankful that she feels ok talking about all of this stuff with me. I know she'd rather not burden anyone else with her issues.)

She does consider herself to have some mental problems. It could be ADD or something. She's also been to psychiatrists, and been on various drugs (which she said didn't seem to help) (she gave up on trying to treat herself with drugs). She seems to look for justification that she has a poor memory, but I've seen her recall far too many things accurately to believe that she is really deficient in that area.

I admit I can't relate with most of what is going on inside her. I listen, but I don't have any answers.

I do know that all Mutable energy is highly critical. Gemini, Virgo, Sag, and Pisces are all very critical of just about everything. That doesn't mean that they don't offer a good deal of grace (allow imperfection) to a lot of situations, but the Mutable energy would rather have everything be absolutely perfect if that were possible. My girlfriend having 8 Mutable planets I'm sure must create a hurricane of criticism towards most of the areas of her life. I don't know if she'll ever be able to make peace with her situation regardless of what that situation is. I also don't know how you can nicely nudge a person to try to be more zen.

posted May 26, 2008 09:10 AM         

I'll look again for your story in HC-- I'm looking forward to reading it.

AG-- wow, we should talk. Depression hits us pretty hard. I had a bit of a system crash today, which doesn't happen often. But when it does-- it's pretty nasty. I think earth signs, like my husband and yourself, have a particularly difficult time dealing with this in us because we truly do become what can only be called irrational. It seems to me that when faced with these situations the earth signs don't know quite what to do beyond offering practical advice and a strong shoulder to lean on.

I hope that doesn't sound like I'm insulting your capabilities-- I'm generalizing, but this seems to be the basic dynamic. Your insight is spot on-- when this happens it does trigger that flight response. You won't find many things that are blacker than a Sag who feels trapped. It's positively brutal for us (strange choice of words there... heehee... it's that yang energy trying to poke through!) and consequently, everyone around us.

You probably feel helpless and that's because you kind of are. And that's a horrible feeling for an earth sign, especially the males, who feel the double whammy pressure of not being able to fix it.

It becomes a vicious circle.

I have Sag rising, then sun, mars, and neptune in Sag in the 12th house, so I have a lot of mutable energy focused in a mutable house. My other mutable signs/houses are clear, but I find that that 12th house emphasis is particularly difficult for dealing with this kind of critical energy.

I never knew about the "critical/mutable" connection, but it makes perfect sense now that you mention it. Even my Virgo finds me to be too critical if that tells you anything! Thank you so much for opening my eyes to this-- this has been a missing link for me for a long time.

Nicely nudging toward being more zen... hmmm... the synchronicity of this is incredible to me. During my meltdown today I was talking to my husband about my need to have everything balanced to find inner peace, but my way of achieving this is pretty high-strung, which seems counter productive. I thank my Libra moon influences for pushing me in the direction of greater balance.

posted May 26, 2008 06:12 PM         

And here's the one with proper orbs:

posted May 26, 2008 11:02 PM         

You are tolerant and forgiving, always ready to overlook mistakes and give others a second chance. You expect the best from people and draw it out of them, and you enjoy making others comfortable and happy. Because of your emotional generosity, your life is rich with friends, and often financial blessings as well.

But I wonder, with this being detached from the rest of the chart if it makes it more difficult to express this. And you know what happens to a stifled Sag. Furthermore, this is happening in the 6th house which (in my opinion) may make it even more difficult to express because of the tendency to put others first and the self last, even if it means repression of the self. Again, more stifling.

Then there are all of those squares to her sun... has she been battling these kinds of feelings on and off since you've known her? Does it seem to be ongoing or situational?

This doesn't look like the easiest chart to live with. That sun in the 11th really needs to reach out to others and feel like part of something, but those squares really seem to put a damper on that.

At best, this looks like the chart of someone who has a reasonable amount of control over their emotions and could be (and wants to be) even-keeled: Mars in Cap not prone to angry outbursts, Venus in Aqua not overly emotionally dependent, Jupiter stablilizing the emotional moon in Gemini which should offer some additional lightness to the emotions.

Sexually it looks like there could be hangups-- probably a very strong drive bordering on the deviant, but ultimately repressed by Virgo and squares to the sun.

I see someone who wants to be a lot of things that seem to be more difficult to come by than they should be. A lot of positive, external energy with several roadblocks to expression.

Let me know what you think. I haven't read enough charts to feel confident in what I'm doing-- I'd welcome your input even if it means I'm totally wrong.

posted May 27, 2008 10:52 AM         

quote:

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Furthermore, this is happening in the 6th house which (in my opinion) may make it even more difficult to express because of the tendency to put others first and the self last, even if it means repression of the self. Again, more stifling.

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Yeah, she works with the developmentally disabled. She also works with the elderly. So she is very generous, and she takes a 6th house service role. She's said recently that she's burnt out on her jobs. She has three in total, but works less than full time overall.

quote:

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Then there are all of those squares to her sun... has she been battling these kinds of feelings on and off since you've known her? Does it seem to be ongoing or situational?

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Definitely persistent and ongoing. Situational in that she'll blame this or that, but the themes are definitely recurring.

quote:

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I see someone who wants to be a lot of things that seem to be more difficult to come by than they should be.

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posted May 28, 2008 12:13 AM         

future,

Maybe some love spells/rituals to add heat?

oneruledbymars,

quote:

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It seems selfish but if you think about it, when you fill your own cup up then you dont need anyone else to do it for you.
And then what you get from other people just makes your cup run over and spill back into the lives of the people who need it most namely your husband and your children.

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posted May 28, 2008 01:18 AM         

I did manage to p-ss her off yesterday. My Improv group was doing a short performance at a local Art & Wind festival. She wanted to go so she could see a Steely Dan cover band. So we both knew we were going to this thing.

I'd mentioned to both K- (girlfriend) and the Improv group that I'd be interested in doing breakfast beforehand. Only one person in my group was into it, so I asked K- on Sunday night if she wanted to do breakfast with me. She said she wanted to sleep. So I called off breakfast with my troop member.

I got up yesterday morning, and looked up directions to one of my troop member's houses, because it has plenty of parking, and we could walk from there. I called K-, and got her voicemail. I figured she must have been sleeping, and not have turned her phone on yet. I left a message. I sent her two emails with directions to Paige's house. On my way to Paige's house I called K- again. Got voicemail again. Left a message again. I think I actually left two messages to ensure that I mentioned the emails with the directions.

I didn't hear from her before my show, and she didn't show up. After the performance I called her again, and she sounded exasperated looking for parking. My Improv teacher called an impromptu meeting, so I had to get off the phone, but during my distraction K- hung up on me. Not a big deal or anything, but I thought she was giving up on going to the festival.

So, Paige had to go to work yesterday afternoon, so she just wanted to head back home after the show. I didn't know the status of K-, so I went back with Paige. When I got to my car I called K- again. I got her voicemail. I left another message.

Let's see...then I went home. Then I went to the mall, and did some brilliantly frugal shopping. When I got home I found a message on my answering machine. It was her. She called at 4:00 before she went to work, and said she thought she'd go home after work. I called her back twice. Left two messages (I forgot to mention something during the first message). She ended up coming over.

So when she got there she let me know that she was upset with me. She didn't like my lack of planning. Personally, I thought we were pretty close to being on the same page, and obviously I tried to communicate with her throughout and that wasn't really reciprocated. I listened to her. I didn't really react much. I didn't see any reason to really. I didn't do anything terribly wrong in my view, I got new clothes, and she got to watch the band she wanted to watch. Later, while watching tv she said that she'd like me to get upset back at her sometime, but I just had no reason to.

We've never had a fight of the kind I think she sometimes expects. I think I'm accepting enough for both of us. I listen, but I don't necessarily think that anger should always be met with anger.

posted June 06, 2008 07:14 PM         

That was a neat glimpse into a day (or two) in your life.

Was Mercury retrograde when this happened? Sounds like classic MercRx.
I'm sort of the same way. Sort of.

I tend to offset whatever imbalance I feel,
by acting the opposite way of the person I am with.
It happens unconsciously, or, I should say instinctually, as I am conscious of it happening.
Maybe it is purely Aquarian, but, for whatever reason, its hard to get in harmony with people.
Although some part of me empathizes and understands, I feel compelled to present the opposite behavior or view.
So, when someone, a partner or friend, is eradic and upset, I will often detach.