posted May 27, 2008 01:30 PM         

I hear what youre saying bunnies. Even as I was writing my first reply I was thinking...well, maybe she needs to go through this and learn some things from it; come out stronger...? I dont know.

posted May 27, 2008 02:02 PM         

That being said, it's nice to sleep with someone after a divorce. Breaks that connection to the ex. This guy will be easy to get over, relatively speaking.

posted May 27, 2008 09:48 PM         

I have had a hard time reading this thread without the desire to post things I am glad I kept to myslef.... She has really thought this through and come out with words I could never....

SunChild, you are an amazing woman and an increddible spirit. You will find your way. You know what means the most to you in this world, and no matter what else is going on in your life, you will have that beautifuly little lady to bring a smile to your face every day...

I know you will be...

... just be...

you. And it will be wonderful. Blessed be.

posted May 27, 2008 10:05 PM         

And I dont think her focus should be on "helping" him either. She's a mother; she's got a young child to care for now and is probably the one who could use some help. Not an inconsistent man.

posted May 29, 2008 06:08 AM         

A little update, he called again and we spoke for a while. I distanced myself emotionally, tried to keep equanimity!
He explained his side of the situation, he said he is trying to get his life back together, lisence/housing ect... he thinks about me and Tahlea a lot and admitted he went out partying all night and still feels guilty about not calling. He said he is just so busy. I said before anything else I am your friend and please just talk to me.

I kind of left the conversation fizzle out once he had his side out and I had my side out. We are going to meet on Saturday and before I let him anywhere near my "sacred place" there will be more to talk about.
And I will go from there I guess. I've been deep in thought tonight about things so once I've collected myself I will respond with my thoughts more in the morning.

posted May 29, 2008 09:13 PM         

After I posted my reply I got a knock on the door.
It was him. I said 'hi stranger' and tried to disarm the uncomfortable feeling we both were in.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and we sat and talked for about 3 hours straight.
So many thoughts were passing through my mind, all of your responses, what my mother had said, and my dad, and my friends... so I had to quiet the chatter in my mind and trust myself to converse in a way that I am a 100% myself.

The feeling was intense, our eyes were locked on eachother and we spoke what was in our hearts and mind for a long while.

For someone who isn't spiritual outwardly, he has a lot of depth and wisdom and he had made some amazing observations about me, and I was stunned at his accuracy when he described how he perceives I view things. I found there is more to his being than he lets on. But still.... I kept equanimity.

I don't think I have ever communicated with someone so honestly without them feeling offended ever before. And vice versa.
Mick and I are much the same, he is exactly like I used to be.

He said its not that he doesn't want to talk to me its that he has a real dislike with talking on the phone, he prefers real life. He doesn't keep his mobile phone on him much at all, never puts credits on it and prefers to be a little old fashioned.
I said I can understand that, however, just a call to say you can't make it would suffice. He understood my need for a little communication and he would never play around with other women, he just loves his mates like brothers. He said this is the first time he's sersious about his life and putting everything back together because he sees me and Tahlea as a beautiful place to be for him.

I still protected myself and didn't throw myself at him just because he said a lot of heart warming things, which may be true or may not. I sense he is quite innocent and naive in how to keep women feeling that they exist and that they are being thought of... but of course I told him that, and he said that is exactly what his ex said to him.
I could tell he was having an ah'ha moment.

When we do get intimate it was very different from what i ever had because no one ever had been that unselfish in that way before. He made me feel like I was something special and took the time to make me really feel it. I couldn't get over the experiences we had in that way, I was glowing and maybe that is why I felt so inlove so fast. We are very compatible that way too, he is so gentle and receptive, amazing.

I am at a place now where I can see what is going on spiritually, emotionally and mentally, and I have learned to protect my heart and don't give all to him just yet, or I many never will. I wont get hurt, if anything changes, or if it seems that the magic conversation we had, and the understanding we both achieved becomes something he has forgotten about then I know our relationship will die anyway. If he meant it then it will be manifest in his word and actions, if not then bye bye.

posted May 29, 2008 11:29 PM         

You are such a sweetheart.

I think that maintaining equanimity was the wisest thing to do.

Only time will tell now. Human will is the most capricious piece of music ever known.

posted May 30, 2008 02:01 AM         

Hoping for the best for you and all involved.

True love will come through
...Always.

Love to you.

posted June 01, 2008 07:47 PM         

I've had a couple of winks from a guy who works at the station and some guy in the local shop who loves to have a chat but I'm not going to act on it just because it will fill in some spare time, Im going to do my own thing for a while, I'll get used to working alone and wait as long as i need to for someone that I don't have to "umm"and"ahh" about. LOL