posted February 17, 2009 12:55 PM           

His DOB: edit

We are not technically together any more. We have had a very difficult time when it comes to understanding each other's relationship psychology, the geographical distance is also a big pain (the rail companies charge a fortune for their tickets). But why do I love him so much, still? Why is this causing me such pain? Is it all just the trickery of the chemistry of the brain? Why do I feel such a strong sense of connection and love for him, every time we meet or speak? Why does being without him torment me so deeply? Surely I should have learned to play things more cooly by now, at my age, with my experience with life?

Is their any chance he could be....you know....a part of me?

posted February 17, 2009 11:14 PM           

edit: also he has a good sized sun neptune opp, whereas you have sun in opp sign to nep but not in orb, so he would bring the psychology of this to you, more significant for you than for him. as the neptune person he may be unconsciously leading you on in some manner, believing in beautiful dreams but somehow deluding you in the process, does he promise more than he can deliver? im wondering if his saturn on the asc counteracts this a bit? not sure.. also i was looking at the chart initially and if i got the coordinates right, i noticed a lack of conjunctions that i dont really like to see in synastry, or what seemed like a lack of very strong aspects (havent looked at the composite) but adding in the house cusps i see that a lot of them are in conj with the other's planets, so this makes up for it some.

posted February 18, 2009 07:57 AM           

What if his mother got his birth time incorrect?

posted February 19, 2009 03:19 PM           

But if it is not destined for him to share with you true love,than it is better each one walking their paths

posted February 20, 2009 04:18 PM         

in the main it would be the Pluto transit ..
i.e. if it weren't the guy in question ..
it would be someone else .. or a 'cause' of some nature ..
Pluto will be in and out of close orb with natal Venus over the next year or so ..
~~~~~~~
" .. under a Pluto transit one's outer persona gets stripped away. One feels the advent of fate, the sense that something unknown and overpowering is coming. "

posted February 24, 2009 07:53 AM           

Let's all just love each other

posted May 21, 2009 11:21 AM         

I still have feelings for him.

Recently he was concerned for me because I have been feeling down and we had a chat about this....I also discussed my feelings for him and confusion prior to this, in emails.

He told me that he still has feelings for me but after the events that have taken place since we split up "something died for me". He explained that he had met someone he felt attracted to last weekend who he is meeting up with again....the first person he has been interested in since being involved with me- which surprised me- I assumed he must be chatting up women now and then when he went out anyway. However...he said that he doesn't want a relationship with me, or with anyone. "If one happens then great...but I can't see that happening right now".

After speaking to him on the phone I felt great. I realized (I knew before, but to really know is something else) that just because things don't work out with someone as a couple, it doesn't mean you have "lost" them....if both of you are willing and open to remaining friends. The love you have for each other goes on.

But the problem is.....it felt so good talking to him on the phone, hearing his voice.

Then I couldn't stop thinking about him for the entire duration of the next day.

I still feel sad that I can't be with him.
Same old thought patterns....same old trap.

Why can't I be more rational about this?

I am really struggling with these emotions.

It doesn't make sense.

Why do I feel the way I do about him?

posted May 21, 2009 11:28 AM         

And these are my thoughts today:

I have been thinking about stuff lately. A while ago you mentioned that it is possible to tell if people are twin flames or not by looking at their birth charts. You seemed really sure about it. I hope you don't mind me asking....but what evidence do you have to provide a basis for your certainty?

Do we even know whether "twin flames" really exist?
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/200928.html

posted May 21, 2009 12:40 PM         

And now its too late...I still feel the connection there but he doesn't want us to fix things...I think he's had enough....as he said- "something died" for him then and he has no desire to be in a relationship.

Why don't I pull myself out of this?

Come on girl....this is way over the top....like it was all that time back....Why don't you just pull yourself together for once and try to be rational?

He doesn't want you!

Ok....he's told me this....but then he said he still has some feelings for me because he did love me and therefore has not just kicked me out of his head, so to speak.

Why the hell do I feel this way and what is this "connection" all about?

Is it just my imagination?

posted May 21, 2009 12:50 PM         

How can we find a way to break free?

I know Helen Fischer's talk on Ted Tv explains some of it, by talking about the brain chemistry of being in love. But she also said she hadn't figured out a way to understand why people fall in love yet. Therefore, her lecture only brought a little comfort.

posted May 21, 2009 06:43 PM         

FRIENDSHIP ...

... LOVE IN ITS TRUE SENSE

Hello all ...

I'm going to be controversial. Not like me, is it?

I was in that half-sleep state a few weeks ago as I was waking up and a sentence kept repeating through my mind:

Love is not what you are IN, it is what you ARE.

It is a profound statement that carries a powerful truth and one that is so often missed by those who talk about 'love' and those in the conspiracy research arena. The misunderstanding of the true nature of 'love' is at the heart of human manipulation and control, not least because of its potential to divide and rule.

I hear Christian Patriot believers talking about the destruction of the family unit and I can understand why they say that. But the 'family unit', far from being the ideal form of human interaction, as so many claim, is often the most destructive means of 'human interaction'.

I meet people all the time, some late in years, who are still psychologically and emotionally scarred by their relationship with their parents or children and this, apparently oh so wonderful 'family unit' has blighted their entire life.

Now it doesn't have to be like that and it's not always like that. There can be great love and friendship in the family group, and that's lovely, but so often there is the opposite.

What I am saying is that it is clearly not the family unit that makes the difference between harmony and conflict in these situations, it is love and friendship.

And love and friendship does not need a 'family' to express itself. It can be found, and not found, in every situation.

What is a family? It starts with two people, usually a man and woman, entering into a relationship in which both declare that they are in love with each other. But wait: Love is not what you are IN, it is what you ARE.

Being IN love is a chemical/electromagnetic attraction. It is a genetic body-consciousness phenomenon and when mind control experts want to make two people attracted to each other - 'fall in love' - they only have to stimulate certain chemicals in the brain and bingo! - 'I love you' and 'I love you, too'.

Once again, you can truly love someone on every level and so enjoy a loving and 'in' love relationship. But these are rare, if the truth be told. Most relationships are founded on electro-chemical attraction, need, fear of being alone and what's in it for me. Love, in its infinite sense, is nowhere to be seen.

How many times do you hear 'love' song lyrics say 'I need you' or 'I can't live without you'? Most of popular music is founded on such sentiments. But it's all crap.

We are Infinite Consciousness and yet we 'need' or 'can't live without' another hologram? Please. But the illusion, the fake identity we believe in, means that we fall for it.

Even the dictionary definitions of 'love' perpetuate the theme. One defines love as: 'To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person)'. But that is not love, it is 'in' love ... attraction. And 'in' can soon go 'out'. Friendship, true friendship, is forever because it is closer to real love - love without condition.

So the family unit is invariably built, through the original man and woman, on a complete misunderstanding of what love is. Not a good start to say the least, but, as I keep stressing, there will always be exceptions.

Then along come the children and further potential for disharmony as the years go by. They say blood is thicker than water, but blood is not nearly as 'thick' as consciousness. An unconscious family unit with parents and children can be the most dysfunctional of all human relationships as the genetic programs compete with each other. It can become just a struggle for power and dominance and the last place you will find love and friendship.

Love is a word that's thrown around all the time and mostly it is meaningless ******** . It sounds good, but what does it really mean? It is so easy to say - 'I love you' - there you go, that's how easy it is. But I don't have to mean it, let alone understand it, to parrot the words or tap these keys.

People say 'I love you' and then treat each other disgracefully. As the song goes: where is the love?

'I love you' ... 'And I love you'.

Without question, the people (of all kinds) throughout my life who have told me most often that they loved me, cared for me and supported me turned out to be the ones who, through their actions, loved me, cared for me and supported me the least. Indeed, they have been the most disruptive and destructive of forces. I have had a legal case with one of them running for more than three years now because he tried to hijack my books after stealing large amounts of money.

'I love you, man', he would say to the point of tedium, 'I would do anything for you and your work'. Yeah, try to steal it, mostly.

What crap it all is, this 'love', this 'support', which people pledge with their mouth and ignore with their actions. Albert Einstein summed up 'family' love and electro-chemical 'love' when he said:

'A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest ... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.'

That's the point about body-consciousness 'love' - it restricts us 'to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us'. This is not 'love'; It is different versions of 'in love'.

A far more loving form of human relationship is what we call friendship. The dynamics between friends and 'love' partners are dramatically different. They can be the same if 'in' love and friendship are both present, but often they're not.

When someone is in trouble or needs help, a friend will always be there immediately. No judgement, no condemnation, no 'what about me?' The only question is: 'How can I help?'

But 'partner relationships', or 'coupleism', as I heard it described this week, can be very different. In a relationship founded on electro-chemical attraction, need, fear of being alone and what's in it for me, supporting the person in trouble can be the last thing on the mind of their 'mate'.

I have seen people in times of enormous stress being subjected to hair-raising tantrums by their 'in love' partner just when they needed true love and understanding. Why? Because there was no friendship, no empathy. The much-pledged 'love' was an electro-chemical fake.

I have had relationships based on friendship and when the 'partner' stage has ended those people have remained in my life because we are friends. The basic bond of friendship allows a relationship to take a different form, but still remain intact, even grow.

I have had relationships based on electro-chemical attraction, without the foundation of friendship, which were highly destructive. This is no coincidence. If friendship is not the rock on which a relationship is built then what is left is a house of sand destined to fall. It is only a matter of when.

'In' love without friendship

How appropriate that the very word 'friend' originates from words meaning 'to love'. This comes from Thefreedictionary.com:

'The relationship between Latin am cus "friend" and am "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phile "I love." In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, fr ond, the Old English word for "friend," was simply the present participle of the verb fr on, "to love".'

Yes, friendship is 'to love' in its truest sense. Real love is something you can trust because it will always do what is right and not think about itself in every situation. And trust is the basis of friendship. You don't have to think 'will they be there for me when I need them?', because you know they will.

How many friends do you have that you can always totally rely on? How many can totally rely on you? It is usually not many, although there are again exceptions, because of the way human relationships have been pepper-bombed by 'in love' and what about me, me, me?

Enormous numbers of marriages are a sham, held together 'for the kids' or by financial security or fear of change. The partners are often bored and feel taken-for-granted and uncared for, but somehow the marriage limps along year after tedious year.

It seems from my observations that the marriages that are outwardly promoted as so perfect are the ones that fall apart the quickest once a problem arises. I have known 'his-and-her' sweater couples who 'I love you ... and I love you' all the time and yet when eventually something goes wrong their 'rock-like' marriage collapses overnight.

The 'in-love' and the claim to be 'in-love' relationships don't stand a chance without friendship and we are talking massive numbers, I would suggest. We would be staggered at how many sham relationships there are at all levels of global society if we could read the thoughts of both partners.

One question: why??

As people awaken to their true nature, relationships are bound to change. The ball-and-chain version is doomed once consciousness kicks in because expanded awareness will not be forced to conform to the blueprint of another.

Awakening people don't need 'the other half' to become whole because they are becoming whole within themselves. That immediately changes the dynamics of any relationship they get involved with, not just with a 'love' partner, but relationships of all kinds.

I have seen so many relationships break-up as one partner becomes conscious while the other stays the same and we are entering a time when vast numbers of relationships will not conform to the family unit that has dominated society since the demise of the tribal extended family. This unit will still be the choice of many, but others will choose to be alone or live in a more communal setting.

All are equally valid so long as it is a matter of free choice and not the imposition of society norms. I have lived alone for the past year and a half and I certainly wouldn't change that, not for the moment, anyway.

'Oh, look at that poor man, living alone and he's 56. He must be so lonely.' Lonely? I love it because I can be me at all times and awakening consciousness insists on that freedom from conformity, be it to the blueprint of another individual or society as a whole.

The key here is not the way we choose to live or how we choose to express a relationship. Live as a couple or in a commune, it doesn't matter. If friendship is not present in any of these situations then disharmony will be. I have seen 'free and loving' communal groups who were, in reality, nothing more than a hierarchy ruled by the strongest character with no real love or friendship to be seen. It is not the situation that matters; it is the state of consciousness.

This even applies to living on your own. We should be our own best friend, but so often we are not. I have learned in the last 18 months that this is, actually, the most important friendship of all - to be a friend to yourself.

Friendship is the greatest of all relationships and by that I mean a true friendship. There are endless people who talk about being your friend who are just out to use you for their own ends.

How do you know a true friend?

posted May 21, 2009 06:53 PM         

I agree that love should be founded on a solid friendship and that chemistry can fool people....that's why ideally we would feel connected to our mate on all levels.

I don't think that we should feel bad about desiring to be with someone. If there was no desire for anything, then how could we enjoy it?

posted May 21, 2009 07:12 PM         

the fact that he still has "feelings" for you (and you for him) is normal in my book. when i run into an old "flame" for the most part it is like meeting a part of myself, a long-lost friend who i have never forgotten, though hopefully i have forgiven!! some people find it odd that i would still feel so close to these people, but if i don't it's because the relationship was "wrong" in some way. and though it may have ended badly, i received a lot of love and learning from each one, so i love them for it even now.

but i don't want to go back with them! i've only met ONE person who i was equally attracted to years later. with the others it's transmuted into a kind of brotherly-love appreciation and intimacy without the "attraction".