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Author Topic:   Tips for Depression and Broken Hearts
MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 01:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a thread to compile the wisdom shared by many to grow from, survive and rise above emotional misery. I plan to add excerpts from other LindaLand threads, some relevant thread links and outside relevant links. Pictures, lyrics, quotes, poetry and other art also welcomed and encouraged. This thread isn't so much for sharing experiences, though links to threads which share experiences are very important, but for easy access to ideas and links that will add to the healing journey.
Here is an uplifting site with spiritual articles that are small, easy, and fun reads. The link relates to this topic, but there are thousands of articles to search on different spiritual and astrological topics. (I'm not recommending the psychics here because I have never tried them and I believe that if you decide to try them you should be in a good place first just to check them out, not in a confused depression where you would spend too much simply because you need to talk. Start a thread here for free if you need to talk though the upset! Once you are in a good place and are comfortable with the site you can decide for yourself what you want to subscribe to or what services you choose to take part in.)
http://www.californiapsychics.com/articles/Newsletter/799/Clean_Out_the_Clutter_in _Love.aspx

I think the above article touches on the most important concept, there are different areas of life: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual and ideally you want a balance. If you are too involved in your emotions, a nice outlet is to turn your focus toward the physical for relief. If the physical is what is bothering you or overwhelming your focus, turn to the spiritual... CHANGE YOUR FOCUS.

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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The easiest and most helpful and practical tips I have come across to start climbing out of the darkness (when you feel the time is right and necessary... the darkness is the best place to explore your true feelings and grow...) :

GET ANGRY!
It sounds un-spiritual at first, but the brain can only feel sadness or anger... not both at once, so if the sadness becomes too great... think of the bad times and what is wrong with the situation and get angry about it. Then use the aggressive energy to take some positive action.


CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
This can mean just getting outside into the sunshine, or opening the curtains, or it can mean getting out of the house with friends or to somewhere fun... but a really fabulous step in this area is to change your living environment. The most extreme change is to move to a new apt or city, but since that doesn't happen too often you can change your current residence around. Get rid of sad reminders of the situation and move your furniture around to different areas of the room and even different areas of the house. You can do as much as painting and redesigning an entire room, or you can just buy new hand towels and mats for the bathroom. Just stir up that old Chi and get the energy flowing again. Here is a link that will help with this! I hope others will post other great links for this too!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/roundup-15-thrifty-frugal-inex-95961

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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you feel up to it...

GET MOVING

We all know exercise improves your mood but sometimes you need someone to say it to you so you can growl back at them, "I already KNOW that!" and then sulk about how crappy you feel until you decide while decorating that maybe some activity really IS what you could use... a walk in the sunshine...

if you aren't ready for that yet...

PAMPER YOURSELF

Whether this means chocolate, an electric blanket/ heating pad/ home massage chair, or good smelling candles and a bubble bath or all of the above... the best girlfriend advice is "Take Care of YOU!"

and don't forget it is always perfectly acceptable (and should be the first step) to...

WALLOW IN YOUR DEPRESSION (otherwise known as... EXPLORE THE DEPTHS OF YOUR EMOTIONS UNTIL YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM)

You usually need to start with having a good cry and mentally assessing your emotions. But usually you do this before you go looking for help and by the time you are looking for a way out, you have reached the point where you want to escape the darkness, at least for a while. Movies help with this first step to cry and hit rock bottom and end the wallowing, and my favorite heartbreak movie to recommend is Waiting to Exhale.

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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS

Surprisingly, they really DO care and they really AREN'T all out to get you, you crazy person! You are just a little lost in the darkness right now and these friends of yours have flashlights and beacons and those little light up thingies they use to guide planes in through the fog and THEY WILL HELP YOU!!!!

FOCUS ON HAPPY THINGS AND LAUGH! You probably already know that this boosts your serotonin levels, so will cheer you up. Hug people too... to get that rush of whatever feel good hormone is released from a good squeeze.


http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000128.html

This thread needs more links to funny stuff.


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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
PRAY



http://www.llerrah.com/footprints.htm

LISTEN TO UPLIFTING MUSIC AND BOOKS

http://www.just-pooh.com/tao.html

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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
EAT RIGHT

Now, AG reminded me of this just the other day and we all KNOW this, but when you are in the depths of depression the only tip you can really remember is that someone said once to pamper yourself by eating chocolate, or having a glass of wine or something like that... hehe And even if you take time each day to acknowledge your crappy diet lately and beat yourself up for not eating right, that's just going to further depress you and interfere with your digestion.
As soon as possible, (after you "Get Moving") then have a salad and some hot tea and get things moving through your system as well. Detox your body and you will feel MUCH better. Keeping your energy high gets easier from there.


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kaira
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posted March 23, 2009 03:02 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
omg... this is so utterly strange... i was just hoping to come across a thread that may help me now, as i've just parted ways with someone who i truly loved... i come into this subforum and the first thread is this...

thank you, MysticMelody. <3

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MysticMelody
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posted March 23, 2009 06:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Kaira I'm glad. It just happened for me too a couple days ago (finding the thread and support I needed when I felt lost... it seems to be the magic of LindaLand ♥ ). Just paying it forward.

I'll keep adding links up top as I remember them or come across them.


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Heart--Shaped Cross
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posted March 23, 2009 09:02 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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cheshirekat
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posted March 23, 2009 09:35 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I<3 this thread, I do all of these things haha =3. A good reminder is no matter how bad today was the sun will still set and rise to a new day, that keeps me moving.

My fave "cry out loud" or "haha" movies are:

The Guitar-The story of a woman diagnosed with Cancer with a suprised but touching ending.

My Life Without Me: Is another story of a women diagnosed with Cancer but this one is funny with a sweet lil love story.

Good Dick-A funny off-romance comedy betweenn a video store clerk and a isolated customer who just rents porn(though there is no explicit sexual content).

Juno-Even though it's a bit cheesy, it has it's moments, "He's the cheese to my mac n cheese" lol.

Wristcutters-Another one of those off-romance comedies about two suicidal people in what I guess is hell x_x.

Okies, Im going to stop filling the thread with my C-rated movies haha.

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ListensToTrees
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posted March 23, 2009 10:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Excellent thread!

Wow, that kitten picture is amazing!

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BlueTopaz124
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posted March 23, 2009 11:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I needed this thread!!! Thank you MM for starting this!

I love the pics of the girl in the tub with the bubbles and the kitties in the sink.

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AcousticGod
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posted March 24, 2009 01:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Life As A House always gets to me on an emotional level.

Thanks for the mention MM! My favorite of your advice is talk to your friends, because you literally don't think straight when you're really stressed. You need a good (and smart) friend to give you a bit of perspective.

More funny stuff (I know I've posted this a bunch of times already, but I still think it's great):

Flight of the Conchords - Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

Might look up Demetri Martin while you're at YouTube (for a laugh).

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Heart--Shaped Cross
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posted March 24, 2009 02:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Louis C.K.
"Chewed Up"

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=SWYT9AQ1

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wheelsofcheese
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posted March 24, 2009 05:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Buy this book. "If we ever break up, this is my book" You can get one used very cheaply and it will save your life. http://www.amazon.co.uk/If-Ever-Break-This-Book/dp/0752226088

It will make you realise that the thoughts you're having are not unique to you. I think the worst thing about being heartbroken is feeling stupid and inept and feeling that nobody else could be as foolish as you are for loving someone and getting your heart ripped out with a spoon. It's terribly isolating, being heartbroken.

This book makes you feel "MY GOD! I am not alone!"

It is hilarious. It was the only thing that made me smile when I got worked over.

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ghanima81
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posted March 24, 2009 10:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
AG!!!

"A picture of New York, a picture of New York, a big fat, crazy, picture of New York. R-Random!"

Also check out "Jenny", "Albie the Racist Dragon" and "Prettiest Girl in the Room" by Flight of the Choncords... They are hILariOUS!!

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MysticMelody
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posted March 24, 2009 10:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sunshine's "HOPE" thread: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/010890.html

I love you guys. You are all so supportive and kind. LindaLand can be such an oasis.

I love that movie too, AG. I have it and have been looking at it on the shelf for a week or so. It must be time to watch it again. I also started "Big Fish" again and I am deconstructing existential style so I only watched the first half hour last night. I also got out "Braveheart". Something aggressive and heroic...

Wheels reminded me of the book I always recommend and that I had forgotten the title to until I came to LL and someone helped me remember :

Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends
by Bruce Fisher http://cgi.ebay.com/Rebuilding-When-Your-Relationship-Ends-Rebuilding-Boo_W0QQitemZ230332537392QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Nonfiction_Book?_trksid=p3286.m20.l1116

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AcousticGod
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posted March 26, 2009 10:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
    Oooh, Flight of the Conchords you're so big!

    Thank you ladies. You didn't have to say that.

I don't have Life As A House. I've been fairly faithful to the non-cluttering habit of not buying movies, though you're momentarily making me rethink that.

Big Fish was good. I don't remember it in great detail, but I enjoyed it I seem to remember.

Today at work I had the impulse to be somewhere else, somewhere foreign. I miss it. I may have to settle for a foreign film instead. Too bad they're not scented. I want a foreign scent.

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sunshine9
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posted March 31, 2009 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Mel,

Sorry for the OT in this lovely thread, but I wanted to find out how you're doing.. Are you feeling better these days, hon?

I've been mostly gone a few days, but wanted to check in on you..


Sunshine

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26taurus
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posted March 31, 2009 09:22 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lovely thread. I shall be back.

And how's Miss Melody tonight?

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26taurus
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posted March 31, 2009 09:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mend a Broken Heart with Bourbon Peach Bread Pudding
Posted by Cybele Pascal

(Vegetarian, Vegan, Gluten-Free, and Allergen-free)

This recipe serves 6, but go ahead, eat it all yourself. It's the perfect way to soothe that aching heart post break-up; bread, peaches, and bourbon! In fact, carbs reduce stress and bring a feeling of calm by releasing seratonin. And just to prove you can be virtuous while indulging, remember, by using "flax eggs" instead of chicken eggs, you're getting extra fiber and a nice dose of Omega-3's.

1/4 cup organic canola oil (Spectrum)
1 cup organic brown sugar
3 cups non-dairy milk, (rice milk, soy milk, or oat milk)
1 vanilla bean
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. lemon zest
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 heaping cups peaches, fresh or frozen, peeled and cut into 1 inch pieces
3 Tbsp. bourbon (all distilled alcohol is gluten-free, but if you'd rather not use bourbon, you can substitute rum)
5 cups gluten-free bread cut into 1/2 inch cubes (gluten-free bread really lends itself to bread pudding, try Ener-G or Food For Life; this recipe can also be made with regular day-old French bread, if you prefer)
3 Tbsp. flax seed meal combined with 1/2 cup hot water ("flax eggs")
1/3-1/2 cup turbinado sugar (this is a matter of taste, I prefer it less sweet, but my kids like it more so)
1 tsp. cinnamon

Combine canola oil with brown sugar in a heavy pan, and cook, stirring, over low heat about 3 minutes. Add non-dairy milk, stirring well to combine. Using a small sharp knife, split the vanilla bean lengthwise, and scrape out the seeds (they look like a black paste). Whisk the seeds into the pan. Add lemon juice, lemon zest, and cinnamon. Whisk well. Add peaches, bring to a simmer and cook 3 minutes. Remove from heat. Add bourbon. Pour over bread cubes and let soak 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add "flax eggs" to bread mixture, stirring well to combine. Pour into a greased 9"x9" or 8"x11" pan, at least 2 1/2" deep. Combine turbinado sugar with cinnamon. Sprinkle evenly over top. Bake 1 hour until a caramelized golden brown on top. Allow to set for one hour before serving. Makes 6 servings.

From Recipes for Love http://www.lime.com/recipes/story/7903/mend_a_broken_heart_with_bourbon_peach_bread_pudding

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AcousticGod
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posted April 06, 2009 06:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey MM,

My new Libra landlord/roommate (who's been a friend for a couple years) saw me throwing out one of John Grey's books the other day. It was Mars and Venus On A Date. She asked me why I didn't like it, and I didn't have a ready answer. I'd forgotten what you and I discussed some time back. I'm just left with this impression that I don't care for the guy.

She asked me to leave it out, so she could look at it.

You might be a Libra if...

    You stop your friend from throwing out a John Grey book.

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26taurus
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posted April 07, 2009 07:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tips for Depression and Broken Hearts

-- talking with a good girlfriend on the phone.

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MysticMelody
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posted April 07, 2009 09:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tip #432

Take out your frustrations by smacking your guy friend on the arm (or the rear if you are feeling frisky) for throwing away a perfectly good book that you previously applauded as helpful to all humankind...
: omgwtf: <----- new emoticon

Tip #23
Return to your innocence: http://youtu.be/oyzLmSqBG1w

Tip #26
looooove loooove looooving your girlfriends
(not in a naughty way either)
(well, unless Jose Cuervo is involved)
(ask Jane...)

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26taurus
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posted April 08, 2009 02:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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