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Author
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Topic: how to get back aqua man after a break up
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confused gemini
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 02:16 AM
 
really appreciate all your replies, really dont want to think anymore on this.. this is a very very difficult time in my life, i am very sad and just want to forget everything so i am editing this post, pls understand, i have carefully analysed everyones advise and thank you all for your time, its hard to move on but i guess i have to start ..i am taking baby steps at the moment..  IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 04:35 AM
Withdraw completely now.
If you keep pursuing an Aqua this way they feel trapped and then that most definitely WILL be the end.
Send him one short text saying that you will respect his wishes, that you love him but you will not contact him again.
In fact that is the perfect text. No mushy crap just the facts.
And then this is the hard part. Do not contact him again.
DON"T!!!!!!
Don't even reply to the text he sends saying
"Thank you and I will always be your friend"
DON'T....do you hear me....DON'TYou will not ruin anything. Us Aquas are funny creatures. We do not always want what we wish for so let us have it.
His innate curiousity as to why after all your begging and pleading you have stopped contact will bring him back in under a week. We cannot bear to be ignored. He will have a renewed respect for you which in Aquadom equals love.
Let him find it again. IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 10:08 AM
Bunnies - Does your advice apply to Aqua Moons too?
I am an Aquarius Sun and absolutely agree with you. I cannot stand being ignored! I think of it as, I deserve the respect of a response back. Also, if we REALLY like you we will go crazy within a week and come back to you using some type of communication.IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 11:53 AM
Nobody likes to be ignored.But I agree with Bunnies, the aqua's I know, when hurt, need time to themselves to analyze what has happened. They need to think. It is difficult to think if someone is calling and texting you, because then your emotions are being activated and it hinders the process of thinking things through. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 536
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 02:05 PM
Hi there, im an aqua too, i dont have much time today to write something, i ll do more later this week.
I think he loves u, but it sounds like he thinks that despite the love, the relationship is not right. U say verbally abusive.I think if u want him u need to change ur ways of relating. Not just once, but for good, if there is to be a long hawl. The thing with his mum was the spark, he wants a relationship that he can be proud of. Sorry i dont mean to sound know it all. I could be wrong. For your question, i think he wants the relation to evolve. Without change, no hope, i think. But who would say no to a relationship with no abuse? IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 02:51 PM
I think it might possibly apply to an Aqua moon.
Aquas are most uncomfortable with dramatic displays of emotion. An ex of mine once got on his knees in public pleading and I nearly vaulted an 8 foot wall to get away!
You know those shutters in a bank that slam down when the teller presses the emergency button?
Well that's us when someone begins emoting heavily.
But they don't stay slammed for long because we also have unbelievably short memories when it comes to arguments.
Not for us the festering vengeance of Scorpios "You must die!!!" or the "I will never get over this, you have wounded me forever" of the Cancerian.
No! Two days after a stinking row we begin to forget what it was all about (as long as we are not reminded by begging and pleading for forgiveness!)
Actually we forget period!
He will probably wonder why in a weeks time why the hell you haven't rung.
But if you must fight, fight clean next time.
Seriously,when we do finally shut down for good, nothing will ever get us back. Nothing.
Ask my three ex husbands. They still have confused WTF? looks on their faces! 
IP: Logged |
confused gemini
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 06:17 PM
Thank you all for your replies
i just want to move on and forget this episode!!IP: Logged |
Diana
Knowflake Posts: 655
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 07:24 PM
I'm sorry, but why do you even want him back?! He sounds like a douche. What sign is the mother, besides b_ tch? IP: Logged |
Diana
Knowflake Posts: 655
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 21, 2009 07:27 PM
The chart you posted shows my chart...you have to post it with [img] [/img] tags from photobucket. IP: Logged |
confused gemini
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 02:31 AM
hmm..ok i will do it again through photobucket. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 03:38 AM
As long as an ex allowed me to mess with his head indefinitely like you are permitting this one to do...why would I stop?...I would be having such fun.
The occasional passionate kiss just to give you a taster of what you're missing?
Waiting for you to again send a text , apologise, write an explanatory e.mail, hunt down his mother, PRETEND that you have moved on?
Oh this can go on for years.
Regardless of any advice, let's be honest now, you are going to carry on doing what you have always done until he comes back or until you shatter yourself into a million pieces.
If I was told by the man himself AND his charming mother that he didn't love me any more, I would pick up what was left of my self estem and you wouldn't see me for dust.I think what you did regarding apologising to his mother was brave and respectful.
But now you are going to keep beating it to death with a stick.
Sadly moving on means just that. Moving on. No contact, no staying friends (How the hell can you be just friends with him? Ridiculous)
No answering any texts for whatever lame reason.
But you know and I know, THAT is never going to happen.
So you must play it out how you feel you must.
And really, for all of us, that is always the only answer.
Good luck love 
IP: Logged |
confused gemini
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 04:24 AM
thanks bunnies for your time and advise
...hmm i think the whole situation is making me feel sick for the past week !..since yesterday i feel pretty fine, i am just in a 'forget everything' mood, in a 'i dont want to talk or think about it' any more mood...so i guess i will stop further discussion on this topic for now, talking about it makes me remember everything again just when i think i have control over my feelings.
wish me luck in what ever happens next in my life, i need it IP: Logged |
woah city
Knowflake Posts: 429
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 04:44 AM
aww, confused, i feel for you! here's my take. i'm an aquarian too and i think bunnies (though i dont' agree with everything she says) has a pretty great take on things. sounds like your relationship started down a pretty nasty path and obviously that needs to be reckoned with, for a healthy relationship to even be possible. i totally feel your heartache, though. i was in the same boat until maybe just a week or so ago. serious heartache. but my feeling is, you do HAVE TO get over this guy. no matter what's going on with him, what YOU need for yourself is to get your life how YOU want it. who knows if he'll ever come back. the fact is that you cannot. but i wasted 2 months pining and explaining and trying, etc, etc, and being really really SAD and confused, until i came to the realization that i am amazing and life is amazing and putting my energy into what is gone is only keeping me down. i was focused on HIM instead of ME. where is your south node? i'm just curious. mine's in pisces so my default is to get lost in romantic dreaminess unless i consciously curb it and focus my emotions appropriately. anyway, i'm really tired right now so i may not be making a lot of sense, but i really believe that once you TRULY decide to get over him, amazing things are going to happen in your life and you will feel so much stronger. and it is a CHOICE even if you feel right now that you cannot be happy without him. you can. and when he sees you happy and strong some day he may want you back and the beauty is that at that point YOU will decide if you want him because you will be clear and strong in yourself, and maybe you will not! but if you're pining and feeling weak, i'm pretty sure the dynamic, if you get back together, will be the same as it's been. this could be a real blessing in disguise for you. i know it's been for me. be strong!! edit: i see he was born in '78. were you born in '79 by chance? IP: Logged |
Just Mia
Knowflake Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 11:17 AM
Confused gemini, you just have to let it go for now...Give it some time and some space, let him think and see if he misses you I guess..And yes you have to accept the break up if thats what he wants.. IP: Logged |
Diana
Knowflake Posts: 655
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 12:12 PM
I actually am wondering if this is more of a cultural issue, rather than an astro issue....IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 1504
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 06:16 PM
yup yup yup Bunnies...i played my Aqua soooooo chilled out and now he is all over me when he sees me
and i just keep on playing it cool when we are not together and HOT when we are! He seems to have a lot of respect for me because of my 'nonchalant un-needy' behaviour. IP: Logged |
woah city
Knowflake Posts: 429
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 07:27 PM
okay sure there's something to be said for that, but you can't have an equal partnership if you're playing games can you? i think confused gemini's REALLY gotta get over him and not just pretend she is. sounds like her ex has some real work to do on himself anyway, so her being psychologically attached to him (even if she's playing it cool) will be obvious and will fueling his power over her, don't you think?IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 1504
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 07:40 PM
It's not games, it's just not putting so much energy into something! no?It's not moving from your spot, and being centred instead. IP: Logged |
Ariefairy
Knowflake Posts: 98
From: mars
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 22, 2009 07:49 PM
confused gemini...what is your dream, aside from men here, i mean what gets into your soul?...what do you want to be?....who are you ? do you know? after 12 years in emotional turmoil do you really know who yourself?take this time to reflect upon the cosmic wonder that you are, with infinite possibilities available to you! *life as the ebb and flow of the cosmic unconscious, and death; the transformation* IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 23, 2009 03:03 AM
Hi Lara
How could your Aqua NOT love that!I think what Lara means is that you can just allow people to be their authentic selves without piling a lot of "But what about meeeeeee??" on them, which in itself is game playing and manipulation.
But I have to stand up and be counted here woah.
Sometimes you just have to do a bit of manouevering (clever bunnies with that spelling!)
It's just the way people are hardwired. Men like to chase, women like to lead.
It's just evolution and I feel sometimes you need to play it to your advantage. Of course it's wonderful to have openess and honesty and we all strive for it but sometimes life throws a curveball and having a few strategies up your sleeve will not harm!
I think your reply though was fab. A lovely well balanced take on things. I'm a black and white thinker sometimes! "You have a problem?
Let me fix it!
"Can't be fixed?
Let us leave!! But then I'm an Aqua! Ariefairy.
Absolutely, absolutely,absolutely.
It is so easy in relationships to lose yourself and you don't even see it happening. And then when it all ends it's like being put ashore on a desert island while someone sails away with all the tools for your survival.
And you are left on the shore shouting
"Come back! I don't even know how to make fire!!
IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 1504
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 23, 2009 04:41 AM
Yes Bunnies,I'm absolutely NO GOOD at helping it on or doing the maneuvering. I'm way too honest!! I think it's producing a stalemate actually with my guy. The one thing i find hard sometimes is that they are ALL over you in person and yet can go 5 weeks without picking up the phone to you nor really seeing how you are when out of sight!
lol is that just cos they are slaying dragons?
He says he thinks about me a lot. IP: Logged |
hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 92
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 10:01 AM
You want to "get back" at an Aqua?Let him go... Throw his freedom loving, airy mind, be-ing back at him and let him go. But for the best of reasons, let the Aqua go to honor yourself....Let any man go, honor you. IP: Logged |
Just Mia
Knowflake Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 10:35 AM
I second that, Hi hippi...They hate rejection and they always want the girl that don't want them.. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 10:39 AM
Of course we do!
We want freedom and you most certainly will allow us that freedom.
This rule however will not necessarily work both ways!!
You will have YOUR freedom...if we let you...otherwise....HEEL!!!! IP: Logged |
Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 79
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 01:42 PM
Yes, I second what everyone else said.
Aquas seems to appreciate women who stop contacting them first and detach themselves.
That's not to say though that if you do detach yourself from him he will want to get with you... He will want you, but not for long term... They don't seem to ever want to commit to one person...Platonic relationships work best with them.
There is a guy out there for you that is more considerate about your feelings...IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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