posted July 02, 2009 12:55 AM         

He said, in a mad tone of voice, "why do you assume that I had already left?" I said, "what do you mean I am assuming? I didn't see your car, and it was 10 minutes past the time your class should have ended so I thought you weren't here." His tone of voice just p*ssed me off and he was already mad (he told me later because his teacher allowed students to talk on when the class should have been out, and because he saw that I was calling him and he was upset he couldn't answer).
When he saw me he had an attitude and that in turn made me mad and irritated. Plus he didn't open the car door for me. His excuse was, when I later asked ("Why are you inconsistent with opening the car door...like you don't when you are upset") was because there was a car parked too close... Well he didn't even come on my side, how would he have known before I told him to back out the car.

In the car we were quiet and normally he would ask if I am hungry or would want to come over. But this time, like another time when he was mad, he drove straight towards my place. I told him, "is driving to my place your way of telling me that you are angry?" He said, "no...i figured you wanted me to take you home."
I don't know.... his way of acting was not nice.
An hour after he dropped me off he called me to apologize that he wasn't mad at me but because his class got out late. I still don't understand why he would be mad at that kind of stuff "enough" for him to take his anger out on me... I just find that unacceptable...And this wasn't the first time.
I feel like I am having to put up with his temperament and it's especially detrimental to me because I am very sensitive to my environment. I am bothered when he throws something or slams the door...I was not brought up that way and when someone does that I see that as anger...Or for example, when he cusses out drivers...it just makes me uneasy.
In the car he asked how my class went and I nodded and quietly said it was alright...apparently he didn't hear me and looked over his glasses and said, looking straight at me,......"I asked how was class?!" I almost yelled that it was OK.

I don't know....
This is personality difference and we have been together for almost 6 mos. now. We have talked about this already, and I don't know if I can see myself in the long run putting up with this kind of behavior. He's said, "well if you don't see us long term, why are we together?"
I agree with this now... I don't know what I am doing but at the same time I don't think I can deal with a break up at this time in my life... I have been trying to tolerate his inconsistencies and his temperament (which he says is unintentional)... but it's so hard to ignore. He asked me If I could disregard it because I understand he's not doing it on purpose? I said I can't disregard it.....He says every time we have a fight or something he feels I want to end it.
I can't say I disagree...I was very angry to the point where I wanted to call him and end it. I felt that would just be an impulse and refrained from doing that but still,...he stresses me out. The very next day I called him like usual at 11:30am for him to wake up so we could go to school together.... His phone was on vibrate and I called him like 8 times... After a half hour, I didn't want to miss class so I went on my own. These little things make me feel that he is unreliable and inconsiderate that I don't see us together for long... and that makes me upset... and makes me feel like I am wasting time...I don't believe in the love conquers all thing...I don't believe that I can ignore these things because of love... these things make me fall out of love... Is this normal? Or is it because I don't love him enough? I think that there is good reason for me to feel this way but to find his behavoir intolerable makes me think that I am not the type for a relationship or makes me doubtful about truly being able to love the opposite sex... I am not forgiving as I thought.

posted July 02, 2009 10:25 AM         

I think it's really silly for you to worry you have some kind of problem being and staying in love with a man--it sounds like you're very young, and like this particular match is not necessarily about merging your daily lives together. There are all sorts of different kinds of relationships/connections...sometimes the ones that are most potent and transformational do not last forever in the everyday. The ones that DO work in the everyday need to bring a feeling of ease, inspiration, and well-being.

Remember that each relationship is unique--think back over your last relationship (probably not with an Aries/Libra, lol) even. The quality of feeling that comes up when this guy is frustrating or unreliable isn't going to be the same feeling you'll have for every guy in the same situation...different people bring out different responses in us and draw us to express different sides of ourselves.

To be blunt, I think you're not really feeling it with this guy anymore, even though it's not simple or easy or total...Taurus/Scorp/Cancer is not quick to move on if something isn't working, and that water Moon/ASC might lead you to turn your criticism inward (worrying you are the problem because you can't really love a man or some other bs...it's probably not so bad with just Cancer Rising, unless you have the Venus too.) You will feel many different ways about many different people, and right now it seems like the frustration/annoyance factor with this one is outweighing the passion and fun.

BUT I think I haven't read your other Aries boyfriend posts, so all my comments are based on this one little post.

posted July 02, 2009 10:52 AM         

you really know when you start blowing at the mouth. you know making those exasperated blow noises women make when they are just fed up.

posted July 02, 2009 02:00 PM         

quote:

---

The quality of feeling that comes up when this guy is frustrating or unreliable isn't going to be the same feeling you'll have for every guy in the same situation...different people bring out different responses in us and draw us to express different sides of ourselves.

---

posted July 04, 2009 04:37 PM         

I agree that I will have these kinds of, what seems like trivial problems with any guy I am with... and my happiness with him varies. At times I feel like I am at ease and it's nice but other times he gets to my nerves. He is very temperamental and defensive and I hate to say this but almost like a girl, not to say that girls like that but he's oversensitive.

I still think that he needs to be considerate of my feelings and keep his words on things I feel are important to me, like time.

posted July 05, 2009 08:47 AM         

Love,

Lyra

posted July 07, 2009 12:03 AM         

TS, because he is an Aries, I would give him benefit of the doubt. If he were a scorpio, I would say something different. Arians are generally positive people and if he comes off negative or mean, it's generally the result of some provocation. Since he apologizes, that's a huge plus. At least he is acknowledging fault and doesn't really mean to hurt your feelings.

I do agree with what you say here:"I think things get better when I voice my feelings." This is the best way -- communication.

I can identify with your situation, though. I agree with some of the other posters, it really depends on what you want. If you know what you want and what you don't want, then make your decision and stick to it.

I don't mean to offend you, but being unstable in your mind towards your relationship with him will only confuse and frustrate you more. You may be the one who winds up getting hurt and he endures without a scratch -- either with or without you.

posted July 09, 2009 07:21 AM         

quote:

---

I feel that our bond has gotten stronger because of that change in me, which also brought out a change in my boyfriend.

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posted May 21, 2010 03:33 PM         

how are things now Taurean_Scorpion? i can almost relate because i use to date a Leo girl and boy could she throw a temper but it was rare that she did though because she was grounded (virgo moon). for some odd reason myself i am attracted to fiery people yet i cannot live in that instable environment for long. its as you say, i like someone predictable and reliable but a little flare in them wouldnt hurt. though i can probably understand the impulsiveness that your bf was going through since i have many fire in my charts too. i dont know if thats valid because im still new to astrology.

Cap/Leo/Cancer

posted May 23, 2010 12:07 AM         

He'll always be this way. It's his nature. The nature of mars. The nature of fire.

posted May 23, 2010 05:42 AM         

I agree with the statement, "10 mins late translates into i'm more important than you". My ex used to mess me around on arrangements, be a day late to come and stay with me or something would go wrong etc. I wasn't sure either if I could put up with certain aspects long term.

Good luck with your relationship, I hope he treats you well.

posted May 26, 2010 11:31 PM         

This guy sounds a bit like me in that he is hypersensitive to criticism or even perceived criticism. He may also be a little conflict avoidant.

posted June 01, 2010 06:03 PM         

HE: Libra Rising (Air sign, not as dependable as Taurus Sun Sign would like, who needs straight up answers, yes or no? what time exactly?)

Aries Sun: Fire sign (hard to hold anything inside, which would be unhealthy for Aries Fire.....needs to be able to express feelings, frustrations, anger, situations)

Aries Moon: Fire again! (Aries Mooners are sensitive! Compassionate, again here needs to express any frustrations or anger. In younger years, sensitivity towards self, in older years sensitivity will branch out to others)

YOU: Taurus Sun (extremely dependable and reliable and feels disappointed when others don't reciprocate. Calmer demeanor than Aries......more down to "earth". Expects more proper, gentlemanly behaviour from men)

[b]Cancer Rising (sensitive, watery, empathetic, might feel "victimized"? by his behaviour?

Scorpio Moon (very sensitive, intuitive, Ouch! don't hurt me!)

Neither of you are right or wrong in my eyes.......both of you are just made up of different elements and are expressing yourselves the only way you "know" so to speak.

posted June 11, 2010 03:44 AM         

Earlier today I called him a couple times at three and he was still sleeping...Then I texted him saying that he should wake up, that I'd like to think that my boyfriend is getting somewhere.
That got him mad....he seemed ok for a bit but when we met up for dinner, he brought it up and said he didn't like what I had said. I said it isn't anything new, and that that is how I feel.
He was driving rough, had a bit of an attitude, slamming doors type of thing that I really hate. I am very sensitive to those things. I told him if he'd like to say something, say it. Then I said I don't want to bottle things up with you, that that is how I feel when you sleep through the day like that. I said, who would like that?
He gave me a whatever. I was ****** and told him to drop me off by the curve and I'll walk home.