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Author
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Topic: So, where are all the guys that aren't losers?
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JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 12:44 PM
 
Are there any left out there????? I'm starting to wonder...And how do you break the cycle of only attracting losers? Is there something in your chart that tells you what you do that is wrong? IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1792
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 01:25 PM
mine's taken...and i always thought that cliche was ridiculous!!IP: Logged |
jenfullmoon
Knowflake Posts: 10
From: California
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 06:05 PM
Are there any left? Maybe, but who gets lucky?IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 08:15 PM
Well, as someone who was last single when I was very young and am now single for the first time as an adult--I DO think that more of the people who are gorgeous, brilliant, funny, wonderful, compassionate, hot, relatively emotionally healthy AND into/ready for/open to a great relationship are TAKEN ALREADY in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, and older.When you're 17, no one is really taken that way, and very few superhot, wonderful, loving guys are veterans of nasty heartbreak...I mean just mathematically, they haven't had the time to spend 8 years married to an alcoholic and then have a violent and acrimonious divorce. I remember teen life as a situation of choosing between lots and lots of smart, funny, kind, sexy guys who were all interested and available and up for fun. That said--I do think there are terrific adults around who are between relationships. There are just fewer great people to choose from, and hooking up seems heavier and more complicated. IP: Logged |
comica23
Knowflake Posts: 487
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 08:23 PM
Hi ^_^ Actually, aside of the environmental factors (availability of different types of people around the places you are), the reason why we mainly attract certain type of people has a lot to do with ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes we attract or allow ourselves to meet these people unconsciously. >_<;Simply put, it's mainly up to what we (often unconsciously) want/need from other people, and if we (again, often unconsciously) allow ourselves to let certain types of people to enter into our lives that things seems to repeat over and over again. For example, many women often attracts bad guys in their lives even if they want someone serious, as they might not consciously realize that they attract them coz deep inside they might feel attracted to certain things they can offer (passion, wild feelings, etc.). And then, this unconscious attraction can influence these women's behavior (and the impression she gives off), so that they would unconsciously send green signals to this type of guys, or allow them to enter into their lives.
Well, every case is different, so the only solution is that each of us tries to understand ourselves better in order to understand why certain patterns exists in our lives. ^_~
Astrology can help us understand ourselves better, but it's still up to us to figure the solution out.
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libraschoice7
Knowflake Posts: 118
From: Arizona
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 17, 2009 10:35 PM
Its funny but for the past two weeks I have been thinking the same thing, seems every guy I encounter has some hang up or some weird problem..so I feel you on this one. I almost don't trust men any more  IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 08:13 AM
I've been scorned so many times it seems by men who are less than what they appear in the beginning...I feel like a door mat. I want to be with someone who loves me..JUST me...someone I don't have to compete with outside influences for their attention or affection. I want someone who is of sound mind and body and financially secure and comfortable...in other words I'm a Sag who craves someone to take care of me...and IF that someone EVER comes along, they will have my undevoted attention, affection and love. When I love, I love with my whole world...which can be a curse because it leaves me WIDE open to be hurt. UGH. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 1144
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 10:40 AM
There are a lot of them out there!IP: Logged |
MsCandeh
Knowflake Posts: 268
From: Australia
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 11:46 AM
I put it down to my Venus opp Saturn :PYes, I am a loser-attracter too ... ETA: JustAmanda.. you sound like me!! Do you have any hard saturn/venus influences natally?
I was discussing this with a friend recently and he said something that struck me.. all of my past boyfriends seem to be egotists. Not the exhibitionist, obvious ones (the ones I've been with never are.. it's when you get to know them they rear their ugly egotistical heads). They are the ones who will compliment you, get you on their good side and as soon as you have fallen for them... they start treating you like crap! The reason I said Sat/Venus hard aspects is because I will put up with their crap over and over again (if I pull away they lure me back in with their compliments and perhaps false hope, therefore they are sort of appealing to my ego but only long enough to get me back). Yup I have issues though.. (self esteem/self worth.. feeling unloved and wanting someone to just love me and take care of me.. all those lovely Venus/Saturn hard aspect qualities)
There was a thread on this a little while ago and I saved the link http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/jkbx/saturn.venus.html - makes for a good read if you have this aspect. Makes sense why I attract egotist losers anyway :P IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 01:05 PM
This thread reminded me of something....An old friend from highschool messaged me on FB the other day.
We started a back and forth conversation, with all the appropriate pleasantries and such.
Finally, he says, "So do you know anyone you can fix me up with? I can't find a woman who isn't a **** , a drunk, or on drugs"
I said, "um, where have you been looking?" He said, and I'm serious, "Well, I usually go to the strip club with my friends after work on fridays, besides that I don't get out much" ------------- ??????????? ------------ I was short for words.
I told him maybe to go to the grocery store, or the library, maybe walk around the mall, sit in a coffee shop, take a class.
He was like, "oh you want me to be that guy in the produce section, squeezing melons with a cartfull of groceries that I'm not really gonna buy, just to pick up a WOMAN!" I said, "no, I think you should go back to the strip club." Point of story:
perception. Isn't it strange how we are looking for them, they are looking for us, and how twisted the process is? IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 01:58 PM
Ms Candeh! Yes ma'am! I have Venus opposing Saturn in the 7th house..the house of LOVE of course! Matter of fact, I have a bunch of planents in that house, more than any other house...I have Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Neptune...GypseeWind...I just burst into laughter about that guy...oh my gosh...and then they WONDER what is going on... I'm telling ya, I think there is this terrible cosmic shift going on in the world right now because I know a bunch of people breaking up, divorcing etc...God needs to give Earth an adjustment! IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 02:21 PM
I agree, and alot of death as well.So by the law of all goodness, shouldn't that mean that very soon, it will flip and be all about love and birth and happiness??? IP: Logged |
MsCandeh
Knowflake Posts: 268
From: Australia
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 02:23 PM
Did you read the link? It's very enlightening. After having this discussion with my friend last week I have been testing out how to control this aspect. Don't give your world to someone else - its yours. (One of the hardest things I will ever have to learn.. because I just want to share my entire world with that other person and give and give and give but at the same time want them to love me just as much back). It's fairly complex I'd probably have to start a new thread about it because it depends what you identify mostly with in regards to the aspect.
Gypsee... good comeback  He obviously doesn't deserve to find a nice girl if his only social outlet is a strip club... what does that say about his character? He wants something different.. he needs to change withini himself. :P :P :P to him. (sorry I am not a big fan of strip clubs at all!)
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MsCandeh
Knowflake Posts: 268
From: Australia
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 02:33 PM
I have been experiencing this too.. two long-term marriages (20 yrs plus) broke up a couple months ago... plus several other relationships where you think they are strong, but all of a sudden... bam. over. 5 of us work closely together, one lost his grandma suddenly and the other lost his brother in law to swine flu. In the month of August. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1404
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 02:36 PM
actually they are all at home depot and lowes.heres what you do...get a cart, walk slowly and look lost..when someone asks are you looking for something in particular.. the first thing you do is notice..is this person wearing an orange vest wtih a name tag? if yes, say no thank you..and keep strolling.....you will meet several non loser men that fix stuff and build stuff. also they can be found at gas stations early in the morning around the coffee area. (its actually a mans club) 6-7am..the early bird gets the worm.. or...and this is taking a chance....go to auto zone, pop your hood and wait...oh...less than 3 minutes...wait for good looking man to show you how to check your oil.. uhm...where else... the park....although this is also tricky as some guys pose wtih dogs to meet chicks with jobs....but...guys that walk dogs and take kids to parks are generally good guys. or...detour in a construction site, drive slow and look lost....union construction pays fairly well and you know they have a job....hhhmmm....they will swarm like bee's...take a girlfriend for a double dose of fun...dress like an inspector will double your chances of meeting said non loser type guy. the home depot is the best bet. go get em girls! i feel like i just told a vacationer the best local fishing holes...but i guess its a different kind of fishing...i never had troubles meeting good looking fun men with jobs. NEVER. no matter what age, no matter that i had 3 kids. there out there, just don't be looking for them in the pubs..that is not where they are girls! tune up your hot guy internal GPS and trust me honey, it will beep and let you know when you are in the vicinity! AND...last but not least...keep your boobies in...boobies hanging out is loser magnet! less is more on the cleavage... IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1404
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 03:13 PM
one is in my office right now....jesus...they're everywhere!IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 03:31 PM
HEY! I'M TELLING ON YOU CPN!!!Everybody! CPN is hoarding all the MEN! hehehehehehe oh and I haven't had a chance to look at that link MsC but I will! ps Ms C, did you know CPN is man hoarding? *giggles* IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1404
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 03:33 PM
its raining men! hallelujah
its raining men .....amen!
god bless mother nature
she's a single woman too!
so...tonight at half past 10, it's gonna start raining men!
(hey if your gonna hoard something...)
ps. don't tell my husband, i have him convinced he is the only man alive! IP: Logged |
hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 92
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 04:01 PM
It pains me that these threads keep popping up, but the root of the issue pains me even more...I asked my bfriend just yesterday, where are all they good men??? (he replies everywhere!!!) After I told him there are no good men (available) left!!! I think alot of it has to do with our perception as women...ALOT of it has to do with age... Women are, from what I have witnessed, quite generationally different in what "a good man" means to them. At 47 yrs old, personally, it took my 21 yr old lesbian daughter and her gfriend (then 19 and 20 respectively) to find their mom a "good man!" And o my goodness, what a GOOD man!!! I was not doing too well on my own, finding a good man. I pain for my youngest, 17years old, and so emotionally mature for her years...and much more emotionally, spiritually and psychologically, than any boy-man that could possible cross her path! So, leaves us women, both young and old to ponder the question where are all the good guys??? I dunno~~~ But I DO know from experience, IF the ones that are not to your liking are not coming your way, then it may be a good time to self-reflect and ponder... The question... What do I want and what is a GOOD man to me?! blessings t~~~ IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 1415
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 04:20 PM
Indeed.I will grant that there are a lot of unsavory guys out there, but it does sadden me to see stuff like this. Why is it always the guy's fault? Same with relationship superiority issue. Why do women insist on thinking that they must have a better perspective when it comes to relationships? Are men never right? Really? It's interesting to see how often women are rejoicing after a breakup, too, especially when compared with men. Granted there are reasons for either sex to be jubilant in getting out of some relationships, but it's just disturbing that men are crushed losing significant relationships while women act like they're joyous. Seems very unbalanced and sexist. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1404
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 04:38 PM
you are so right ag....
100 percent right.it isn't always the mans fault. (did i just say that?) it isn't. there is enough cling on women looking for a free ride to make most men crazy just trying to meet one who is for real.. fair enough.. IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 04:44 PM
AG...my husband of 18 years, just walked into our bedroom on August 15th and announced that he no longer cared if I was there or not...that he feels we have nothing in common, he is no longer interested in anything that has to do with me and wanted me to leave. After 18 VERY long years of giving EVERYTHING I had to that man and then some, helping him through a lot of rough patches, supporting him and LOVING him with all my heart. I have not quite rejoiced over being alone now, I mean, I have resigned to the fact that it's over, and I will be strong and move on, but my heart aches for his smile, for his hugs, for his kisses, for his I Love Yous...I am not a perfect woman, nor a perfect wife, but I know how to love with all my heart and it got me nothing but heartache in the end. My heart goes out to men who have been mistreated by women and I think it's probably equal as to how much women mistreat men versus men mistreating women. But women are more open to discuss it, because we need for someone to hear us and to sympathize with us, where I think most men just want to be left alone. I could be wrong, but then again... IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 1415
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 05:17 PM
I hope you don't take what I said too personally, Amanda. It wasn't really directed at you, and in fact there are some other recent threads were what I said might be more appropriate. It's just irksome to me that so much bad stuff in relationships is aimed at men. Some men do deserve it, and some of the sexism on women's part is merely a defense mechanism or a rationalization I'm sure.To me, relationships are experiments. Some work, and some don't. Keep trying. If you're getting the same results over and over again, change your approach. IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 1792
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 07:03 PM
noooo it is definitely not all the men's fault! like i said, mine is taken, but at my age that is pretty normal!! and then again maybe someday he won't be taken any more...i don't really care and i'm not really looking!! he just strayed across my path, and i'm not pining for him...there are quite a lot of good men out there, they just don't interest me! and that is the problem most of the time no matter what age you are, but when you're younger, you're more likely to pick the wrong'uns from lack of self-knowledge IMO and sometimes attracting a bunch of "wrong" relationships keeps you busy till the "right" one comes along...all the while you are learning how to BE the right one! IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 18, 2009 07:47 PM
I see what you mean AG, and it is definetly a defense mechanism we women use. When a man is hurt he tends to withdraw into himself, his work, his hobbies, whatever, and few people really know the depth of his heartache.
As women we rally around one another because women tend to self disclose more, and so they will tell you their story, explain in detail, make you feel as if you are not alone. It helps us.
My men friends are great, I wouldn't trade them for the world, but when it is gut wrenching confession time, I have to speak to another woman, say 90% of the time.
Guys will tell you, "it will be okay," or "I'm sorry to hear that, what can I do to help?"
There is no do-ing to help, it is just that we wanna b!tch about it until we're blue and then a bit more.
And to say we are celebratory when the relationship ends, ehh, it's a front to me. We say that stuff to boost ourselves back up, but inside we are broken. Otherwise we wouldn't go back time and time again, and come here and ask the same questions over and over.
So, I think what you have here is just the differences in the sexes.
But I'm sorry if anything I said hurt your feelings, I don't consider you in the same league with alot of the guys we all complain about, and I don't even really know you!IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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