posted March 18, 2010 06:33 AM         

my prayed for mel is like my prayer for my daughter. i want them to find the love of a lifetime like i did, i just pray that it doesnt take them 43 years of frog kissing that i went through.

its worth holding out for (most of the time, we are talking about a breathing man)... but i hope for you, and for my daughter that wants the same thing, and for mel, because i know she wants the same thing, that the one for them shows up a little quicker than mine did.

meanwhile be easy on yourself, have fun, eat ice cream and be proud of yourself because you do the right thing and i am very proud to call you my friend. if anyone is ever mean to you i will shun them, SHUN. remember those words? thats why i love you. things are going to be looking up kiddo. flowers blooming, sap rising and all that, enjoy yourself, i have every confidence your prince is gearing up his white horse right now with a left shoe in his hand that only fits your foot and internal gps that leads him straight to you. someone who will bless your life and bring really good things so you see again how anything really is possible. true dat.

it has been a hard winter, but now its over and we can march on. cheer up! things are looking up!

meanwhile keep practicing on your guitar, learn to hold a rythym with the basic chord, d c e em f a g

knocking on heavens door is g (2 beats) d (2 beats) am (full measure)
then g (2 beats) d (2 beats) c (full measure, 4 beats.

posted March 18, 2010 08:31 AM         

I was seriously enthusiastic for a minute and then I remembered I was going to ask my new friend to tune it for me and that set me back a minute... but being a woman, you are better because you didn't wait for me to ask, you just intuited what I needed and gave it right away.

If I didn't have such darn high standards for girlfriends (you know, must be lovely in heart and soul and unbelievably wise and usually quite talented) then maybe I would have more than one close by... I have to search the whole world to find my girlfriends... and it makes it hard to keep in touch/have tea.

posted March 24, 2010 04:17 AM         

"Sun in House 8
The Sun in the 8th House indicates that consciousness is opening up to compassion, and the agents in the process are emotional suffering and refinement of desire. This may be a relatively advanced stage of development because people with the Sun in the 8th House do have the feel of ‘old souls’. There is a gravity and maturity conferred by this placement, which is evident even in very young children.
The suffering experienced by 8th House people, is always at the hands of people with whom they have a close personal relationship, and although there may be physical cruelty also, it is at the emotional level that the pain is registered. The pain is nearly always that of rejection and the knowledge that the intensity of their feelings is neither understood nor valued.

People with this placement of the Sun tend to experience the transforming energy of Pluto, the ruling planet of this house, as a force used by others against them. They do not readily use it themselves even in retaliation. People born with the Sun in the 8th House are usually born to parents unable to or unwilling to recognize the child's needs. Usually they have problems of their own and expect the child to be supportive and understanding.

As the result of the early experience of having the emotional needs ignored the 8th House person grows up expecting little of the partners around whom he is prepared to build his life. In consequence his relationships are characterized by inequality. Whether it is emotional support, money or forgiveness - more than one 8th House person has discovered that he has married a person engaged in criminal activities - it is the person with the Sun in H8 doing the giving. The lack of reciprocity tends to be accepted without recrimination, and he will not easily give up on a relationship. People with the Sun in H8 demonstrate a great acceptance of things as they are and this becomes the source of the peace of mind they are capable of attaining in their later years. This acceptance may also account for their characteristic willingness to work with people whom society has condemned or rejected. A person with the Sun in the 8th House does not readily judge; he is more likely to respond to the humanness of the offender.

Eighth House people are found in the prison service, and as social workers, nurses and counselors. In helping others they are often able to make sense of and redeem their suffering.

This placement of the Sun tends to confer an interest in the astral plane and in channeling in particular.

Mercury
When Mercury is in the 8th House and the Sun in H7 or H8, perceptions and communication are highly sensitive to mood. This placement of Mercury confers intensity in conversation and in ease dealing with the emotional states of others. It is a common placement amongst bereavement counselors. When Mercury is in H8 and the Sun in H9, then spiritual solutions are frequently sought to emotional situations and there is likely to be a particular interest in channeled wisdom.

Pluto
When Pluto is in the 8th House the soul is engaged in the transformation of emotional energies, in ‘penetrating the darkness of himself to take out the light’ (Samael Aun Weor). This process in the intensity, which it is given by Pluto in H8, may go on for many lifetimes and requires those with this placement to face the Human Shadow manifesting both through self and other. Pluto in the 8th House tends to create a fascination for taboo subjects and psychotic people. The Plutonian himself may be the victim of compulsions and obsessions (his own or those of others) and intrusions from the lower astral. Nightmares and visitations are common with this placement. The astral plane may be used purposefully as a source of power, in which case the interest will be in witchcraft and magic, which may include the Black Arts. In personal relationships a person with Pluto in the 8th House transforms the lives of his partners but in circumstances usually viewed as destructive by all concerned. Violence, whether physical, emotional or sexual, is common when Pluto is in H8, including within the relationship with one or both parents.

It should be noted though that although planets in H8 may not weaken the constitution they can create an attraction to situations which are life threatening. This is especially true of Pluto. "
http://www.dkfoundation.co.uk/dkfoundation/Articles1.htm
thanks to venus in gemini

posted March 24, 2010 10:32 AM         

But don't put your life on hold no matter how much of a connection you have. I'm going through the same situation. (You and I are always experiencing something similiar in soulmate relationships seems like)
I'm telling you Mel, love yourself more.
The Universe is giving you another fix it, another "almost not quite" to see if you've learned your lesson. Fix yourself and shove him back in the Universes face....Don't accept that crap, your the most powereful being in this dimemsion, demand your birth right by learning to appreciate your worth.
Its hard I know I'm taking it one day at a time trying to wean him out of my system. I am having to show myself I don't need him by taking better care of myself. But my Venus is in Pisces so to balance it I have to rely of a Virgo like way of taking care of myself....."thoroughly" seems to be the key to my contentment.

posted March 24, 2010 04:13 PM         

Mars, I miss you too. I always appreciate your insight. It seems the Universe or this guy has made my decision for me. Last Tuesday we were supposed to get together and I had one strange phone call from him where I said, "hello? hello?" and heard nothing and hung up and now I haven't heard from him since. I have been worried that something terrible happened or he was put in jail or something. I left him a couple messages requesting he leave me a message and let me know if he is ok and just not taking my calls, but he has never called. He might have decided just not to talk to me (which seems strange because he wanted to spend time with me earlier that day and seemed happy to hang out that night and then the weird call...) or something might have happened. I have no idea. I have felt worried and it is upsetting when the preferred outcome would be that someone I met and connected with and had such fun with is inconsiderate and uncaring and just decided to ignore me... because the alternative is that something bad has happened to him. Either way, it is sad and stressful. I would just be happy to know he is ok and ignoring me, then I could go on with my life and take these lessons you all have given me and grow from them. It is difficult being in limbo though.

posted March 25, 2010 06:14 AM         

Plus I found so much solace in this thread because my feelings are slowly moving into a better shape though I slip up sometimes, I know I am getting there, I hope you are feeling better MM.<3

I had typed more in the beginning like a page's length of ramblings but now I am too shy to post what I originally posted cause I hate coming to LL and being a Neg Egg, I hold so much back in my real life that I just let everything go here..sometimes good and sometimes bad but know I respect people on LL and all their kindness.<3

Ah what the hell lol..

.... I just wanted to say this person too has a Scorpio Moon and Leo Ascendent and when I meet him, my life was shaken from that moment on and currently we are just understanding friends because we both understand that there are things that we both need to accomplish first in our lives before relationships, for me that's working on my degree in Social Work and setting up my thereputic art program for children dealing with traumas and or disabilities such as mental illness and healing/loving myself and the wounds from childhood but we are still friends after..I think 4 years.o.o

When Pluto was transiting my 12th house I did a lot of self reflection in highschool and I remember wondering why God brought me someone so wonderful that I could not be with in my current state(i.e depression low self-esteem plus I was going through therapy after my suicide attempt) I was feeling like crap, who is going to love a mommy-issued ridden suicidal nutso like me and I did some bad things at that time that he knew about it and I even made him cry once but he continue to forgive me and love me in what I like to call "black moods"..

..So here I was still asking and asking God why send me such good people in life when all I do is hurt them when Im in this state of mind and God does what he does best..silenece and I felt like a monster so all I did was immerse myself in school work/art projects and pushed everyone away my Senior year after I changed highschools..I didn't even go to my Senior Prom when my friends invited me but all the while he still cared..alot of people still cared and I didn't even know why..cause I was such a God awful person in highschool.

..It wasn't until I was on another one of my thinking walks when I ran into a priest from the apartment complex near my house and it's hard to hide anything from this guy and he knew ..always knew something was wrong and I was irritable and I just cut straight to it and asked "Why do you think God would send loving people in my life when Im all crapped out, it's like a punishment to have good/happy people around you and here you are the big dark nasty and negative toxic waste cloud.."

..I partly remember him saying something about how God still loves us even at our most darkest states and because he saw me hurting, he sent me nothing but love and I was surrounded by love as I reminder that Im still loved and it was ok to be vulnerable, let it out and then return to the love that was always there and shine brighter then before.

..I guess slowly but surely Im getting by the Grace of God, I am trying to return to love but like I said I slip up but I get back right on track though.

..I just wanted share that because have been the bad person hurting people in life, I've dealt with family memebers being in jail as well and that memory always comes back and I think if he can forgive himself and raise above the anger/violent nature and shine brighter then before through his music, I think he would be an alright person but he must make this change before he can move onto any relationships..lol I learned that hard way.

Though it takes time and like Diana pointed out it's not an over-nite thing but it's definately a worthy process.

posted March 25, 2010 12:58 PM         

Don't worry people in this world are just not to be trusted unless they prove otherwise to us.

posted March 25, 2010 01:55 PM         

Mars, Yes, I have also thought about that and I have thanked God/The Universe for answering my prayers and giving me the "miracle" I kept asking for... I have no choice but to release him now and let things calm down in my heart. Then if and when he writes during his little "vacation" I will approach it without the emotional investment. I hope he is ok and just ignoring me for whatever reason. I hope he continues toward his goals. It was nice meeting him.

posted May 02, 2010 07:24 PM         

quote:

---

Mel, I have been reading this thread with interest, and haven't got much to add because everybody here has said pretty much everything I would have.
But one image that came to mind on the first day I read it, was Mel Gibson in the film "Braveheart" where everybody's clamming to go into battle and he's shouting "Hold! Hooooooold!".

Not this one. Hold!

An odd image I know, but I am looking to the future where your man, the one who's making a cup of tea right now, or watching telly or something, unaware of your existence, is waiting for you. It can't be long hun. I really believe this. He's full technicolour too.

---