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Author
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Topic: I've fallen in love
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eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 667
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 02:22 PM
 
Mystic - as always, wise beyond your years.Seeker - when your son is a little older you will understand. An 11 year old is not portable (physically and emotionally) like a 2 year old. I presume he is an honourable man in that he has custody of his daughter, and seems so aware of the need to put her first? There is too little to go on, but imagine how painful it must be to know that he must put her needs before his own, and therefore give up on you? I don't think many men would, so I think you have a keeper here. I am guessing that he felt backed in to a corner by you and forced to make a choice. It was just easier to shut you out than try to resolve it. I think you know you pushed it too far too quickly - I am with Mystic - give him a little time and a little space - but let him know you are there. He (and his daughter) may well come round. These are HUGE HUGE decisions you guys are talking about. I really do hope it all works out for you. IP: Logged |
seeker3030
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 04:45 PM
Taurean poet thank you so much for your insight - for various reasons I don't think one of us felt more than the other; it was all very equal throughout with him initiating it mainly, however I took several points you made on board and I do agree. Relationships are born out of many things but they can only stay alive and develop through actual face to face contact, and that's something due to the distance we haven't been able to have. I just hope they're both ok and that they've patched things up between them now so that whatever they decide to do, (move to Australia or stay in the UK) that it makes them both happy and fulfilled. Of course I would love it if he contacted me and wanted to explore what we started, and like you said, in a strange way I do feel that at some point he will. I'm not going to look for it though - if it happens it happens. Thanks again x Eskimono thank you too - I totally agree with you obviously re 11yr olds and interestingly enough it was me who said to him in the first place that it was out of the question for them to be the ones to move due to her having just started secondary school and needing stability etc. That's why I'm slightly surprised that she's wanting to go to Australia so badly because according to him she's very happy there in Wales. But that's the trouble I think - he assumed too much in his zeal bless his heart. When he told me he'd cancelled the emigration after we met I was terrified he'd been too rash because we hardly knew each other and I didn't want to be the one to cancel their dream. He assured me she loved Wales and it was fine and he didn't want to lose me. I think when he sat her down and told her last Wednesday, he suddenly realised he'd not really thought about her and her wishes at all. I think he then felt very guilty and like you say, what with me bombarding him with texts and calls he just felt backed into a corner. I wish to god I'd just sat back and waited now, but it was hell not knowing - wrong I know however when he had been the one pushing for me and my son to move down there asap I don't think it was entirely unreasonable. I do think he should have just at least texted back or phoned me one last time to do me the courtesy of saying what he'd decided and ending things properly. That really hurts. Still, I honestly wish them both all the very best. I love him so so much and just want him to be happy ultimately, and I want her to be happy and safe and secure too. It just would have been nice to be a part of that, that's all. xx IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 667
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 05:01 PM
I think you will be part of that. I think you all just got a bit scared. You are braver than I to be so willing to follow your heart, but I sense that your head is right there with you. IP: Logged |
seeker3030
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted September 28, 2010 06:23 AM
So hope you're right! And thank you again xxIP: Logged | |
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