posted October 20, 2010 06:15 PM            

When I first met him, I thought he wasn't all that attractive. The neighbor. He was pleasant and business like, and I was my happy, bouncy Aries self.

Scorpios and Aries have a 6-8 vibration, which is the "service" relationship. I want to help him, he wants to help me. He has stuff i need, I have stuff he desires.

I respected him, from the beginning of time. Always cordial, easy going and mindful of privacy and space. Before I knew he was a Scorpio, it was in the stars, my understanding of him and his needs.

We are neighbors, and I'd make sure not to go through his mail, look through his windows, ask questions whatever. I began to feel a strong pull towards him, everytime I'd pass, I would see him stare at me, look at me sideways, eavesdrop on me when I'd talk to my kids in the backyard.

Both our spouses are Aquarians. Both are extremely detached when it comes to family. My husband is never home, and funny enough, his wife is never home. My neighbor works nights, so he and I are home all day, alone, in our own separate apartments.

My heart starts fluttering when I see him. Not used to attention, his little lustful stares start making me see him more and more attractive. I send some food to him, imagining him savoring every morsel. I put more effort in his meals than my unattentive husband.

Mr. Scorpio, who of course shows no sign of interest, other than what I "FEEL" opens up, just a little, and I guess goes from not talking to me at all, to talking to me about handyman stuff.

Fingertips are touched, smiles are exchanged, stares into the soul, butterflies in the stomach. A full on crush happens.

I start to believe he likes me, and maybe wants to get to know me.

Then, all of a sudden it stops--on his end. I'm still swooning, and chatty and hopeful of igniting a little fire, but he retreats. He avoids me, doesn't look me in the eye anymore, and doesn't reciprocate when I touch him or show outward excitement of just being around him.

I know Scorpios test their lovers, they play mind games to test loyalties. But I'm no lover. I'm just some neighbor girl. I wonder if I've imagined this whole thing sometimes, because of his detachment all of a sudden.

I'm relieved, because affairs are evil, immoral wrong, and destroy. But I can't help but wonder how it would have been to be encompassed by all that Scorpio passion and energy.

I was wondering, could I have made the whole thing up? maybe i read his signals wrong? Maybe I forced myself to like him, like perhaps it's in my chart?

Am an Aries, with Taurus Moon, Capricorn rising and Gemini Venus...

I only know he's a Scorpio, and I liked him before I knew that he was a Scorp.

posted October 21, 2010 11:39 PM            

I feel like he probably got a case of the guilts, and withdrew back into his life and family.

I know that probably isn't what you want to hear, but, in the end it's probably the best for everyone if you two just stay neighbors.

Affairs are messy business where someone, usually an innocent party, always gets hurt.

If there is something there, something real and meant to be,
then the universe will set into motion events in which you both can be together when you are free.

Again, sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear.

posted October 22, 2010 05:17 AM            

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... how could I stop liking him?

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The answer is: by not doing this --

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I can't help but wonder how it would have been to be encompassed by all that Scorpio passion and energy.

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The more you wonder about the "how it would have been" and about the Scorpion mystique, the more you'll get attracted to him (we tend to want more what we can't have).

My other suggestion is: to not believe everything you read about sun signs or think that those blanket statements all apply to him. You don't know his whole chart, so you can't make assumptions about what or who he really is.

The Scorpio man is probably the most difficult to understand compared to other signs. Yes, your neighbor could be sexy, mysterious and all those things that make him the main fare in romance novels, but that's just his aura, the vibes he sends out. And unless you have an intimate relationship with him you don't really know him. Btw, don't be mad at yourself for liking him; most probably a lot of women do, they can't help it.

He's changed the way he deals with you probably because he's noticed his effect on you. And probably he thinks it's best to do the nip-in-the-bud approach. He's a Scorpio, so I'm assuming he is the faithful type. One thing to think about here: "Even if the attraction is mutual, the question is what good is it for?" If your life needs a bit of "excitement" (even if only imaginary) then you can let him keep you intrigued. If not, then find out what you need and do whatever you need to do to have it.

Non-astro side comment: I think you should be honest with yourself about your marriage. If you are unhappy with how things are with your husband, maybe you should do something to initiate positive changes in the relationship. There's this book called "The Five Love Languages" that I recommend. Basically, it talks about how people have different ways of giving and receiving love and it encourages people to speak the right language so they can make improvements in their relationship with their spouse.

posted October 23, 2010 05:30 AM            

Quote
I think the really important thing in your story was that you said all of a sudden things on his part ended.
I feel like he probably got a case of the guilts, and withdrew back into his life and family.

I know that probably isn't what you want to hear, but, in the end it's probably the best for everyone if you two just stay neighbors.

Affairs are messy business where someone, usually an innocent party, always gets hurt.

If there is something there, something real and meant to be,
then the universe will set into motion events in which you both can be together when you are free.

Again, sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear.

posted October 23, 2010 11:54 AM            

I guess my point is Scorpio energy is strong and it doesn't matter what temperment they have.

Chances are, and I so could be wrong here, he was sending out signals but didn't mean for them to be taken as seriously as he, in all probability, perceived you to be taking it, so he's pulling it back.

As for how you can stop wanting him, I don't know really. But in the larger picture, I've found through personal experience, when you get to the point of even considering having an affair it's a signal that it's time to sit down and have a long chat with your husband. If the results end up not being satisfying then it's time to make some very difficult decisions.

posted October 25, 2010 07:12 PM            

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Smart people everywhere know a little extracurricular nookie can prolong the life of a marriage.

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posted October 26, 2010 12:15 PM            

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Do you mean polyamory, or does that life last until the spouse finds out?

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I know of many instances where a spouse was "hurt" but willing continue in a relationship after "cheating" was found out.

True, it's not a marriage, but a relationship none the less. But my Aries/Cancer friend confessed how much it hurt when he found out his lady fair went back to her ex for sex. But was he willing to walk out on her, nope. He was 21 at the time, and just as guilty.

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But him retracting made me think otherwise. As one poster said, perhaps he had guilty feelings and stopped the presses. Sad and relieved.

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Scorpio are very complex, but once they start acting like he is, drama, games, and scaring are ascertained from any interlude.

posted October 26, 2010 06:58 PM            

Regardless of what sign he is, (despite what you say) the fact he is married means "don't touch" - so that means stop thinking about sex in conjunction with him, or vice-versa! . And I hate to break it to you, but Scorpios are pretty much self-sufficient. They have less buried feelings than Aqua, but that doesn't mean they're any the less self-sufficient, or that the apparently robotic Aquas are any less feeling. In actual fact the Aries-Aqua is a much stronger partnership than Scorpio, Aries and Aqua can laugh together, whereas Scorpio is liable to drag Aries down too much and can be a bit of a grump - also very JEALOUS when Aries wants to do something on their own, and trust me, it's only flattering for a while before it becomes oppressive.Perhaps go out yourself and do things - sounds like you need to get out there and take your mind off this. You need to seek happiness within yourself before you can expect to get it from anyone else. Don't expect others to fulfil you. Don't go looking. Be centred within yourself and happiness of one sort or another will find you.

posted October 27, 2010 02:52 PM            

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Smart people everywhere know a little extracurricular nookie can prolong the life of a marriage.

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Yes, for the cheater, and if no one finds out maybe. More times than not though, once the spouse who is being cheated on finds out, they leave because it is too painful/disturbing/hurtful to stay with the cheater. And even in the cases where they do stay after finding out, it is never a smooth road or a "good" thing for the marriage. These are betrayals that run deep and are not easily forgotten. It takes many years to rebuild the trust and intimacy that was lost, if ever.

posted October 27, 2010 03:25 PM            

Yes, for the cheater, and if no one finds out maybe. More times than not though, once the spouse who is being cheated on finds out, they leave because it is too painful/disturbing/hurtful to stay with the cheater. And even in the cases where they do stay after finding out, it is never a smooth road or a "good" thing for the marriage. These are betrayals that run deep and are not easily forgotten. It takes many years to rebuild the trust and intimacy that was lost, if ever.

Maybe I'm frigid in my ways but I don't see how hurting someone you supposedly love--damaging their trust, their confidence, their self-respect, their security, their mental well being and emotional stability--can ever be a good thing.

posted January 20, 2011 03:41 PM            

He most likely feels guilty for coming so close to you. They are very emotional, truly. Scorpios get stereotyped for this very reason. The avoiding is done not because he doesn't like you, but because of his guilt. Oddly enough, I'm with an Aquarius.

Myself being a Scorpio and my brother being an Aries, I have no idea what it's like. However, one of my good friends happens to be Aries. Scorpio may secretly think you're annoying; however from what you've described, most likely not. They aren't attracted to looks, they're attracted to good people with leveled heads and good minds.

Once again, the guilt can overwhelm a Scorpio. He knows what he's done and he can't take knowing he's done something he's vowed not to do. I know I can't stand breaking promises. I say go for it if he shows any more interest. If he doesn't, leave him alone.

It's the way Scorpios (As well as Cancers, actually) seem to work and process things.

posted January 21, 2011 08:11 PM            

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Originally posted by Lyra:
I think you're reading more into this thing than there really is. It's nice to imagine ourselves "wanted" and this usually results from some sort of acknowledgment - could be anything, a look, something someone else says (in innocence), even nothing particular at all, something completely irrational. I suspect some of these feelings on your part spring from loneliness.

Regardless of what sign he is, (despite what you say) the fact he is married means "don't touch" - so that means stop thinking about sex in conjunction with him, or vice-versa! . And I hate to break it to you, but Scorpios are pretty much self-sufficient. They have less buried feelings than Aqua, but that doesn't mean they're any the less self-sufficient, or that the apparently robotic Aquas are any less feeling. In actual fact the Aries-Aqua is a much stronger partnership than Scorpio, Aries and Aqua can laugh together, whereas Scorpio is liable to drag Aries down too much and can be a bit of a grump - also very JEALOUS when Aries wants to do something on their own, and trust me, it's only flattering for a while before it becomes oppressive.Perhaps go out yourself and do things - sounds like you need to get out there and take your mind off this. You need to seek happiness within yourself before you can expect to get it from anyone else. Don't expect others to fulfil you. Don't go looking. Be centred within yourself and happiness of one sort or another will find you.

- Sorry to be brutal, but there it is - from an Aries who's been married to an Aqua, and been out with an (unattached) Scorpio!

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posted January 30, 2011 02:45 PM            

Anyway he's obviously feeing guilt. He's married, he might be attracted but it seems he realised you're not worth jeopardising his marriage for.

posted January 30, 2011 04:48 PM            

Scorpios always know what they are able to have, so it could have been he sensed you were no longer a challenge. Beware, it may be a ride you do not want to get on. Especially given both of your situations.

posted January 30, 2011 04:48 PM            

Scorpios always know what they are able to have, so it could have been he sensed you were no longer a challenge. Beware, it may be a ride you do not want to get on. Especially given both of your situations.

posted January 30, 2011 06:21 PM            

In my experience, (mom and dad are scorpios as well as two close friends) scorpios are forbidden fruit as I am absolutely too crazy and wild (metaphorically) for them to deal with.

My advice is savor the flavor and run away fast like Forrest Gump. RUN FORREST RUNNNN!